Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:School uniforms would solve this problem across the board.

I'm poor and don't believe in school uniforms. They are a bandaid that don't address the real problem, which is kids thinking they are better people if they are richer or have more resourceful parents or have certain clothes. I'd rather schools put effort into changing THAT mindset.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess you don't have a teen who is doing sports. Teenage girls love lulu lemon.

Yup. If you don't have teens, don't assume you know them. My HS and college daughters love lululemon leggings. Their friends do too. This time of year, though, the leggings are pretty much put away in favor of shorts and dresses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really surprised at the responses on here basically telling Op to help her DD cave to peer pressure. What happens when your kid is made fun of for not doing shots at the party, or not trying the bong hit?
I would speak tot he school about the bullying. The school needs to tell the kids to stop it.
I would give my DD a budget for clothes and let her decide what to get with it.
I would also take my kid to some volunteer opportunities so she can see what it's like to worry about having clothes or food at all, never mind name brands.

My DD does these things all the time (volunteering). She still wants some name brand clothes. Just a few, not a lot.
It's not wrong to have some things that you would like.

The issue is the daughter expresses wanting them BECAUSE she is bullied or because she wants to fit in. I think its the 100% total wrong response to then immediately go out and buy it. IT justifies the bullies. It tells your daughter there was something wrong with how she dresses and they were right. If it causes her to fit in, it then allows her to be complacent when the bullies find a new target and perhaps even encourage her to join in. What about the next kid that truly can't afford it?

I'm not against giving my kid brands she wants for birthdays and Christmas. Maybe even a choice item or two when we go school clothes shopping. But she gets 90% sensible basics from me and she knows it. In May, at the end of the school year, just because girls have turned catty because the weathers suddenly warmer she needs something obviously branded? hell no. When she makes her own money, she can buy what she wants.

Even the fact that you've considered it is probably sending her the message that the bullies have a point. You need to be fierce. Talk to her about class and money and why she wants what she wants. Tell her she is beautiful and her clothes fit and look nice and you will not tolerate hearing about teasing because of clothes ever. If you just give in and buy it, you're part of the problem.

Go buy her a nice maxi skirt that looks awesome or new sandals or something those dumb kids have never even thought of if you really want to boost her confidence. something she likes because it looks good. Take her to a thrift store and let her try on tons of stuff. Invite a nice girls from school to go walk in the woods and climb to the top of the mountain and post it on facebook.

Redirect, ignore, do more awesome stuff that has nothing to do with money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From what I have observed, teen/tween brands now are:
Adidas
Puma
Top shop
Brandy Melville
Forever 21
Madewell
Lululemon

Some kids like:
Vineyard Vines
Lacoste
Uggs
Hunter
H&M

That's an interesting list, as some of those are quite inexpensive.

Anonymous wrote:I guess you don't have a teen who is doing sports. Teenage girls love lulu lemon.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really surprised at the responses on here basically telling Op to help her DD cave to peer pressure. What happens when your kid is made fun of for not doing shots at the party, or not trying the bong hit?
I would speak tot he school about the bullying. The school needs to tell the kids to stop it.
I would give my DD a budget for clothes and let her decide what to get with it.
I would also take my kid to some volunteer opportunities so she can see what it's like to worry about having clothes or food at all, never mind name brands.

My DD does these things all the time (volunteering). She still wants some name brand clothes. Just a few, not a lot.
It's not wrong to have some things that you would like.

Anonymous wrote:From what I have observed, teen/tween brands now are:
Adidas
Puma
Top shop
Brandy Melville
Forever 21
Madewell
Lululemon

Some kids like:
Vineyard Vines
Lacoste
Uggs
Hunter
H&M

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a middle ground- buy her some name brand things within your budget and to the degree you think appropriate.
I'm not a fan of spending $100 on lululemon leggings, but I supplement DD's babysitting earnings to help her get a pair or two. These things make a difference between struggling socially and doing well for some kids.

What the?? $100 for a pair of leggings? Those ugly leggings that show camel toe and have ugly prints on them? They are popular for moms, not kids.

And they show your tushy crack - come on, don't ruin the karma by clueing people in.

When my DD was Lulu Lemon obsessed I brought her to the store and while there I tried on a pair of their leggings.
I came out of the dressing room and my DD and the sales lady said 'no. Put those back you can't wear those!'
I started pleading..
DD left with a new headband.

A headband, seriously. Give up a dinner or two out and get her the leggings.

And please learn the difference between lularoe (frumpy leggings with wacky prints) and Lululemon (overpriced leggings for yoga moms and teen girls).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a middle ground- buy her some name brand things within your budget and to the degree you think appropriate.
I'm not a fan of spending $100 on lululemon leggings, but I supplement DD's babysitting earnings to help her get a pair or two. These things make a difference between struggling socially and doing well for some kids.

What the?? $100 for a pair of leggings? Those ugly leggings that show camel toe and have ugly prints on them? They are popular for moms, not kids.

And they show your tushy crack - come on, don't ruin the karma by clueing people in.

When my DD was Lulu Lemon obsessed I brought her to the store and while there I tried on a pair of their leggings.
I came out of the dressing room and my DD and the sales lady said 'no. Put those back you can't wear those!'
I started pleading..
DD left with a new headband.

A headband, seriously. Give up a dinner or two out and get her the leggings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a middle ground- buy her some name brand things within your budget and to the degree you think appropriate.
I'm not a fan of spending $100 on lululemon leggings, but I supplement DD's babysitting earnings to help her get a pair or two. These things make a difference between struggling socially and doing well for some kids.

What the?? $100 for a pair of leggings? Those ugly leggings that show camel toe and have ugly prints on them? They are popular for moms, not kids.

And they show your tushy crack - come on, don't ruin the karma by clueing people in.

When my DD was Lulu Lemon obsessed I brought her to the store and while there I tried on a pair of their leggings.
I came out of the dressing room and my DD and the sales lady said 'no. Put those back you can't wear those!'
I started pleading..
DD left with a new headband.

Anonymous wrote:I don't remember being outright teased re: clothes in middle school, but acutely remember how self-conscious I was about never having the 'right' things (like, my mom finally bought me Adidas Sambas...when everyone else had moved on to Converse). I was the oldest of 3 kids and didn't have anyone to help me navigate through the transition to more 'teenage' stuff (clothes, music, etc.). In 7th grade, I got an Adidas puffer jacket for Christmas and that thing became my armor...it mattered less if my jeans weren't a 'cool' brand or my t-shirts were plain solid colors when I at least had the same jacket 'everyone' else was wearing. Same thing in college, when designer brands were de rigeur...bought a North Face fleece over my first winter break and had the same feeling of 'camouflage'.

I think you can and should have discussions with your DD about not getting caught up in always having the latest and greatest, and how ultimately the comfort and performance of clothing items is more important than the label...and then work with her to identify the one or two items that are really important to her, and that she can get a lot of use out of (maybe a bag, or jacket, or shoes). As she gets older, 'luxury' purchases can be special gifts, or things she works for with her own money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really surprised at the responses on here basically telling Op to help her DD cave to peer pressure. What happens when your kid is made fun of for not doing shots at the party, or not trying the bong hit?
I would speak tot he school about the bullying. The school needs to tell the kids to stop it.
I would give my DD a budget for clothes and let her decide what to get with it.
I would also take my kid to some volunteer opportunities so she can see what it's like to worry about having clothes or food at all, never mind name brands.

You must not have any kids. Your advice sucks. I guess you think that the school is going to tell kids to stop bullying, problem solved! Why didn't we think of this years ago?

My school actively intervenes in bullying.

I must be doing something right because my 13 YO DD doesn't care what she wears, has friends, and gets straight As. She insists on wearing "old lady" bathing suits and rolls her eyes at my taking her to a dermatologist for her acne. "It's normal for teens to have acne". Her teacher thanked me for raising such a polite, respectful child - "a rarity nowadays".

But sure, ignore my advice.