Anonymous wrote:OMG some women are so anxious to procreate that will hate anything and anyone who is in the way of that obsession of theirs.
Unfortunately your DIL is one of such women.
I would just back off until she ducks out of her "lactation haze" and starts seeing benefits to the JD.

Benefit to a JD. -- a JD

OMG some women are so anxious to procreate that will hate anything and anyone who is in the way of that obsession of theirs.
Unfortunately your DIL is one of such women.
I would just back off until she ducks out of her "lactation haze" and starts seeing benefits to the JD.

Well I certainly sympathize with your DIL here OP. My MIL was pressuring DH to go for a PhD for the first three years of our marriage. She didn't fully let up even after our first child was born. Every time she bugged DH about it, she phrased it as "when" he's going to get around to it, not as a genuine question of whether he's interested. It annoyed the heck out of me because it seemed like she just wanted to be able to tell her friends that her son has a PhD, and didn't care about what he son actually wanted, or whether the family he had chosen to created with me was cared for. In the early years, DH considered his mother's advice out of respect for her, but thankfully we're both now on the same page that major life decisions like that are meant to be decided between a husband & wife.

Just an FYI, she trapped your son with that second baby. That was not an accident. She didn't want to work anymore and saw another child as an excuse to be a SAHM. Conniving woman.

Anonymous wrote:OP, if your DIL is resistant to your help, like the PP above who would punch you if you hired a cleaning lady for her, see if you can work it out with your son.

Do not do this. If you went around my express wishes like that, and got my husband to agree to something that I had said "No" to, I would never forgive you or him. Do not meddle in their already strained marriage. You've done enough. Back off.