My grandmother was married (family arranged) to my grandfather who was 15 years older than her. She told me to marry a man my own age.

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I suppose one of the biggest concerns is that he will start to grow older much sooner and I would and the relationship dynamic may quickly change. Of course, this could happen with any relationship - sickness and accidents are always a possibility, but in this case - the change is almost a certainty. Does anyone have first hand experience with something like this? Would this be too risky and just not worth it? Kids are not an issue, not planning on kids.

Yes, health decline is not linear. Age is chronological, but matters is biologically. Good shape? Parents live a long life?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you believe a relationship between a 30 year old woman and 50 year old man could actually succeed, assuming everything else is perfect. The man is divorced with almost grown-up children. Careers, interests, and maturity align. Is the age difference just too much??

For me, no way. It maybe ok now but, you are young and when you are 50 ( still young) He will be 70. Do you want to be his caretaker? Now some 70 year olds are fine but, you never know!

This. I am a 50 year old woman. I could not imagine being with a 70 year old right now. I still feel young and am very active. I would not want to be with someone closer to my parents age than me.

I’m in my 40s and prefer dating someone more age. Younger women are great but not for anything long term. They’ve never worked out for me because they either want kids (and I don’t) or they don’t want kids (and I have one) so I tend to stay with women my age now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you believe a relationship between a 30 year old woman and 50 year old man could actually succeed, assuming everything else is perfect. The man is divorced with almost grown-up children. Careers, interests, and maturity align. Is the age difference just too much??

For me, no way. It maybe ok now but, you are young and when you are 50 ( still young) He will be 70. Do you want to be his caretaker? Now some 70 year olds are fine but, you never know!

+1 DH is six years older than I am, and we already are starting to hit the age difference issues, like retirement. Lucky for him, I'm going to retire early, but if I couldn't afford to do that, I think this would be an issue in our marriage.

I could not imagine as my 50 yr old self having sex with a 70 yr old. Gross.

I mean, why would any person be with someone 15+ years older if that person is retired and they are not? Typically, there is at least a financial benefit to being in a relationship with an older person. If they are old and retired and you are young and working, why?

Right, but OP can't see that right now because the man is 50, and presumably still working.

55 is still pretty young, but 75 is when people start to slow down. No one knows what he will be like at 75, of course, but statistically, a 75 yr old starts to really slow down.

slow down? LOL
statistically a USA male is a couple years from death at 75 (1.33 yrs according to google average male lifespan is 76.33yrs in USA)

You don't understand how life span calculations work.

A white male who has made it to age 75 can expect to live for about 11 more years, on average. I believe that number is higher for white men with advanced degrees.

And I'm sure the 50-55yo 2nd/3rd, wife is so looking forward to those 11 more years of continued decline.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think for the men it’s mental? Like wow she’s so good looking, feels so great. I’m the man thing. And sex is mental after the basic is met. But no early 20s girl is good in bed unless she’s slept with a lot of people.

Same with young men. They just don’t have enough experience. Late 20s is different. I’m a 37 woman and I think men in late 20s to early 30s are so hot and good in bed.

20 years is a huge gap and it’s only successful when there is a lot of money involved LONG term. Short term anyone of any age gets together even when it doesn’t make sense.

Yeah maybe it is a mental thing. As a 40 year old female dating men in their 40s, most of them have been with a 20ish year old recently. It’s hard because they all have said how great the sex is and when I ask why or what it is that they did that made it so good I have never really been able to get an answer.

Maybe the older men are divorced so they’re sex-starved? Younger women have higher libidos and are probably less demanding in bed because as many have mentioned, it takes a decade or so of being sexually actively to be skilled in bed and understand one’s own body as a woman. Maybe they’re more compliant and willing and have better bodies?

I don’t know. Over 40 and I’m having the best sex of my life with my current partner who is also in his 40s.

Men don’t care of skills. It’s just about having a great body, being relaxed and submissive in all senses, if you know what I mean and super wet P.
I’m F in my 40s lived with 11 yo exH. My partner post divorce is 1 year younger than myself. It’s a totally different feel to have smooth hard body next to me vs an older man.
I presume men feel the same with 10+ younger women. There are women in 40s and 50s who are great looking and have great bodies. But it takes over 10 hrs of sports and a strict diet post 40. I date men in my 40s but according to them they went out with me because my body was a “match” with early 30s women they dated before. I was modeling so I do have an actual “swimsuit illustrated” figure.
Men in 40s don’t go for standard looking, even minimally imperfect 40s women. Maybe if you meet someone through RL connection it happens but OLD is the market based on looks.
On the opposite - if a woman his age looks amazing a man would pick her for a serious relationship over a much younger woman. Because they think if she “lasted” through 40s, she’ll continue aging well. And men don’t like to be used for money - older women are often more financially stable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think for the men it’s mental? Like wow she’s so good looking, feels so great. I’m the man thing. And sex is mental after the basic is met. But no early 20s girl is good in bed unless she’s slept with a lot of people.

Same with young men. They just don’t have enough experience. Late 20s is different. I’m a 37 woman and I think men in late 20s to early 30s are so hot and good in bed.

20 years is a huge gap and it’s only successful when there is a lot of money involved LONG term. Short term anyone of any age gets together even when it doesn’t make sense.

Yeah maybe it is a mental thing. As a 40 year old female dating men in their 40s, most of them have been with a 20ish year old recently. It’s hard because they all have said how great the sex is and when I ask why or what it is that they did that made it so good I have never really been able to get an answer.

Maybe the older men are divorced so they’re sex-starved? Younger women have higher libidos and are probably less demanding in bed because as many have mentioned, it takes a decade or so of being sexually actively to be skilled in bed and understand one’s own body as a woman. Maybe they’re more compliant and willing and have better bodies?

I don’t know. Over 40 and I’m having the best sex of my life with my current partner who is also in his 40s.

I’m in my late 20s and I dated a guy for a bit who was 45. There were perks for me but it could never work out long term. He had a kid from a previous marriage, a crazy exwife and he was really starting to show his age (compared to me) in certain ways. It was a nice situationship though. It was more than FWB but I knew from the start it wasn’t going anywhere.

When I was in my early 20s I dated a man 10 years younger older than me. He didn’t look old because he was not yet in his declining years.

Flash forward 25ish years and he’s a facebook friend in his 50s still attractive, but then 60 hit and I couldn’t believe how old he looked.

An actual old man. A few years later he’s dead. Massive heart attack. This man had been a professional athlete and stayed in pretty good shape throughout his life, but he didn’t make it to mid sixties. He left behind a much younger wife and a daughter.

There is a big difference between 40s/50s and 60s/70s.

He was the only older man for me but he was 30s. No way I’d do 15/20 years. If you are in your late 20s/30s you are only a few years away from having an old man on your hands.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you believe a relationship between a 30 year old woman and 50 year old man could actually succeed, assuming everything else is perfect. The man is divorced with almost grown-up children. Careers, interests, and maturity align. Is the age difference just too much??

For me, no way. It maybe ok now but, you are young and when you are 50 ( still young) He will be 70. Do you want to be his caretaker? Now some 70 year olds are fine but, you never know!

+1 DH is six years older than I am, and we already are starting to hit the age difference issues, like retirement. Lucky for him, I'm going to retire early, but if I couldn't afford to do that, I think this would be an issue in our marriage.

I could not imagine as my 50 yr old self having sex with a 70 yr old. Gross.

I mean, why would any person be with someone 15+ years older if that person is retired and they are not? Typically, there is at least a financial benefit to being in a relationship with an older person. If they are old and retired and you are young and working, why?

Right, but OP can't see that right now because the man is 50, and presumably still working.

55 is still pretty young, but 75 is when people start to slow down. No one knows what he will be like at 75, of course, but statistically, a 75 yr old starts to really slow down.

slow down? LOL
statistically a USA male is a couple years from death at 75 (1.33 yrs according to google average male lifespan is 76.33yrs in USA)

You don't understand how life span calculations work.

A white male who has made it to age 75 can expect to live for about 11 more years, on average. I believe that number is higher for white men with advanced degrees.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's no doubt your money fever aligns with his fat wallet and bank accounts. Yikes

Again, men age like wine...

Their penises don’t. 😀

Not to mention gravity isn't stopping for those clackers.