Aside from all the moral issues, I reiterate -- you would be getting seriously under compensated with this arrangement. Honestly, the going rate for this type of thing is more like 70K annually. Don't undervalue yourself.

If you don't have to have sex with him on demand, and indeed could potentially say no for a week, two weeks, or three weeks, then OK. If you're obligated to have sex with him whether you want to or not, then it's simply prostitution.

Personally I could never do this. It's one thing to have to do whatever you have to do to survive, but grad school tuition isn't exactly life or death and there are surely lees degrading ways to fund your education.

Use protection. Establish terms of the agreement up front. And go for it!

^ ^ PP here. I hadn't thought about this for years. It still makes my skin crawl.

OP if you're okay with the idea then do what you need to do.

I clearly was not.

I had an offer similar as a young, single mom.

Not tuition though. Financial security for my son and I, travel opportunities and I don't recall what else. In return I would live with this guy, and help him with his teenaged kids. I would also be responsible for all house related duties (shopping, cooking, cleaning) but he would control the money. I would have an amount to spend on household needs and when that was gone it was gone. I could work as long as it didn't interfere with keeping the house clean, meals made on time. He would pay for daycare for my son as long as I kept the house up. If I couldn't do both I had to quit.

Once both of his teenagers were finished high school I could leave if I wished.

When he proposed this I added up bedroom space. It was a little short for all of us. He would build a room for my son. So I was to sleep where? Yup.. with him.

I said no. The finances were SO tempting. I had just come out of a bad marriage. Controlling spouse but with no money. We lived on welfare.

I stayed on welfare for a few more years but despite that I kept my self respect.

The real kicker for me? He knew my parents. He showed up at their house (Ds and I were living there) and explained his proposal to them. Leaving out the unspoken sleeping arrangements. They thought it was a good idea. I was... baffled. Shocked. Disgusted. I remember saying "Dad.. there aren't enough bedrooms.." When I said I was absolutely not okay with that, they dropped it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I would turn it down flat if it were a stranger, but I've known his guys for years. We discussed that he will pay my tuition and I would get gifts, without me feeling like I actually getting cash in hand for our arrangement. It would be 1-2 times a week when he is in town ( travels 1-2 weeks a month).

This arrangement can end whenever I want it to. He has done this once before a couple years back. Honestly I've been struggling badly and I've had to put off school before to save money to pay. I don't want to do that again.

To the pp - Have you been through identity theft? I had a family member take out CC in my name before I even had my own CC. I was just able to get a CC to build credit. Getting negative marks with no credit to start off is really bad. I do not qualify for financial aid or pell grants. The student loans want a co-signer but I have no one willing to co-sign. The ones I do have only cover half tuition, and I was able to obtain w.o a credit check. Trust me, I've exhausted all options for years. I know what I'm talking about.

Serious question but how is this different than prostitution?

One is legal the other is not. Other than that, there pretty close to the same.

People keep throwing out egg donation like she can just prance into a clinic throw some eggs on the table and walk back out. Having your eggs retrieved is a not a simple and painless process. And you don't earn that much money and some people don't want part of their DNA out in the world like that.

Anyway OP, bone this man, let him pay the bills and get on with your life.

Not able to understand the sanctimonious attitude of some posters.

OP is asking about entering into a "formal" arrangement where in return for financial benefit she provides sex and presumably companionship to a limited degree. What do you think happens in most "informal" arrangements where people hook-up especially with a view to a more long-term relationship? How many women would be interested in a guy who was unemployed or not earning much money? Not too many in my experience.

Although it may not be stated in specific terms, many women do look for someone who earns good money, is independently wealthy or has the potential to make a lot of money. This is not to decry women who, especially in today's work environment, do often make a decent income.

Women, to this day, look for a good "provider" plus other things. Most men look for an attractive woman plus other things.

As long as both parties - in this case OP and her benefactor - are honest about the relationship, I don't see an issue.

Since you've already slept with him a couple of times I'd be much more willing to entertain the idea. I don't like the idea of anyone having that type of control/sway over me, even if they don't abuse it I will feel like the potential is there and I'd behave differently , but if that doesn't bother you you may just want to go for it.

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps what he is proposing is more ... honest?

He wants sex with her, but does not want to invest in an emotional relationship.

She wants money, and is willing to provide intimacy, but on a time-limited basis.

So they make an arrangement.

Not the ordinary way people get together, but hardly unheard of.

LOL. You've just described prostitution. Not ordinary? It's the world's older profession!

No judgment here. But just be careful. Can you really trust this guy? If he has controlling tendencies I would walk.

Egg donation is another possibility.

In your shoes, I would probably try it, and when I was done, move on with my life. But I would be very clear with myself about. The arrangement and decide whether I could handle it. I certainly wouldn't let it or him define me. I would also probably be able to put it way in the past but I am
Good at compartmentalizing. Has helped me move past many things in life.

Good luck to you, OP.

Perhaps what he is proposing is more ... honest?

He wants sex with her, but does not want to invest in an emotional relationship.

She wants money, and is willing to provide intimacy, but on a time-limited basis.

So they make an arrangement.

Not the ordinary way people get together, but hardly unheard of.

How much do you really know about this guy? How do you know you can trust him? You've had a difficult upbringing, and I'm wondering about your judgment. I can't imagine that you know him well enough to be sure he won't break his word in a way that could be detrimental to your well-being. Any 37 year old man who would make such an offer has something going on that's not particularly healthy. Be very, very cautious.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if he likes you, he should just give you should just give a cash gift and leave it at that. Asking for sex a few times a week IN EXCHANGE for money sounds like a pact with the devil, even if you like sex. And even if you like sex with him.

He sounds like a class-A self-important asshole, and I prefer not to be in relationships of any kind with people like this.

Edited.

Edited again. I'm outie. Clearly tired. G'night.

Anonymous wrote:I think if he likes you, you should just give a cash gift and leave it at that. Asking for sex a few times a week IN EXCHANGE for money sounds like a pact with the devil, even if you like sex. And even if you like sex with him.

He sounds like a class-A self-important asshole, and I prefer not to be in relationships of any kind with people like this.

Edited.