Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with most of the immediate PPs. Everyone, male and female, is entitled to have as much sex as they want with as many partners as they want, and should be able to do so without being shamed. The way I read the title of the thread is that OP wishes women would demand more in a RELATIONSHIP before getting intimate. That is, if what the woman wants is a relationship, not a casual hookup, or friends with benefits scenario, it's generally a best practice to actually get to know the person and that they want they same thing (demanding a little more time and commitment) before becoming intimate, so as to avoid disappointment.

This liberal nonsense that you can't "shame" anyone for being slutty is wrong. Of course people are free to shame sluts. There are good reasons why promiscuity is looked down upon. It is immoral. It won't help your physical or mental health. It won't help you build a quality relationship with a man. It doesn't help you build a family. The "silent majority" and wise people understand this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with most of the immediate PPs. Everyone, male and female, is entitled to have as much sex as they want with as many partners as they want, and should be able to do so without being shamed. The way I read the title of the thread is that OP wishes women would demand more in a RELATIONSHIP before getting intimate. That is, if what the woman wants is a relationship, not a casual hookup, or friends with benefits scenario, it's generally a best practice to actually get to know the person and that they want they same thing (demanding a little more time and commitment) before becoming intimate, so as to avoid disappointment.

This liberal nonsense that you can't "shame" anyone for being slutty is wrong. Of course people are free to shame sluts. There are good reasons why promiscuity is looked down upon. It is immoral. It won't help your physical or mental health. It won't help you build a quality relationship with a man. It doesn't help you build a family. The "silent majority" and wise people understand this.

Anonymous wrote:Agree with most of the immediate PPs. Everyone, male and female, is entitled to have as much sex as they want with as many partners as they want, and should be able to do so without being shamed. The way I read the title of the thread is that OP wishes women would demand more in a RELATIONSHIP before getting intimate. That is, if what the woman wants is a relationship, not a casual hookup, or friends with benefits scenario, it's generally a best practice to actually get to know the person and that they want they same thing (demanding a little more time and commitment) before becoming intimate, so as to avoid disappointment.

Anonymous wrote:Agree with most of the immediate PPs. Everyone, male and female, is entitled to have as much sex as they want with as many partners as they want, and should be able to do so without being shamed. The way I read the title of the thread is that OP wishes women would demand more in a RELATIONSHIP before getting intimate. That is, if what the woman wants is a relationship, not a casual hookup, or friends with benefits scenario, it's generally a best practice to actually get to know the person and that they want they same thing (demanding a little more time and commitment) before becoming intimate, so as to avoid disappointment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have not read all the comments so maybe someone already addressed this, but I feel the problem is that contemporary culture equates female empowerment with --not promiscuity exactly, but the ability to embrace sexuality without commitment or even emotional involvement. Some women truly seem to enjoy low-involvement F-ing. However, I've met many more women in their college years and 20s who become sexually involved very quickly because they want to come off as confident, fun, independent, and not prudish, all while they secretly hope to turn the dalliance into a relationship. Sometimes that happens, but when it doesn't, these women end up feeling rejected or used, not empowered.

I blame this cultural dynamic on college-educated feminist moms who came of age in the 60s. It seems that many of them, including mine, encouraged their daughters to think of marriage as a distraction from the careers their daughters needed to focus on in order ensure their independence, personal empowerment, and ultimate fulfillment. Partnering up in a serious way before age 30 was viewed as a sell-out of one's potential as a career woman. This attitude translated among young women into a sense that aspiring to find a husband in one's twenties was lame and weak...and an agenda that should be denied to avoid scaring the boys.

OP here, very well said, I could not agree more. And I was born at the end of the baby boom years. I did the career thing, I have a career that many women would envy. But the lonely years were very hard. I never slept around since I am a germ phone and had one bad experience early on that involved a boy being so rude that I had to admit that my mother was right about some things (she was born in the 1930s). From there I really started to examine the whole sexual revolution that had some social gains, but many losses.

Anonymous wrote:I have not read all the comments so maybe someone already addressed this, but I feel the problem is that contemporary culture equates female empowerment with --not promiscuity exactly, but the ability to embrace sexuality without commitment or even emotional involvement. Some women truly seem to enjoy low-involvement F-ing. However, I've met many more women in their college years and 20s who become sexually involved very quickly because they want to come off as confident, fun, independent, and not prudish, all while they secretly hope to turn the dalliance into a relationship. Sometimes that happens, but when it doesn't, these women end up feeling rejected or used, not empowered.

I blame this cultural dynamic on college-educated feminist moms who came of age in the 60s. It seems that many of them, including mine, encouraged their daughters to think of marriage as a distraction from the careers their daughters needed to focus on in order ensure their independence, personal empowerment, and ultimate fulfillment. Partnering up in a serious way before age 30 was viewed as a sell-out of one's potential as a career woman. This attitude translated among young women into a sense that aspiring to find a husband in one's twenties was lame and weak...and an agenda that should be denied to avoid scaring the boys.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 30, and I completely agree.

Many women want marriage but have been conditioned to be the "cool girl" and not to talk about it in a relationship. So they bumble along, giving the guy everything he wants and just hoping he'll eventually bring up marriage.

I don't like her radio show, too screechy, but Dr. Laura's advice in 10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives is very good. Her books are excellent, even if they aren't what people want to hear.

I'm a liberal atheist, by the way. It has absolutely nothing to do with conservative values or thinking sex before marriage is bad for me. It's all about how much I see women not getting what they want or not even being honest with themselves about what they want until they've wasted a lot of prime years.

+1

I really have to agree too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have not read all the comments so maybe someone already addressed this, but I feel the problem is that contemporary culture equates female empowerment with --not promiscuity exactly, but the ability to embrace sexuality without commitment or even emotional involvement. Some women truly seem to enjoy low-involvement F-ing. However, I've met many more women in their college years and 20s who become sexually involved very quickly because they want to come off as confident, fun, independent, and not prudish, all while they secretly hope to turn the dalliance into a relationship. Sometimes that happens, but when it doesn't, these women end up feeling rejected or used, not empowered.

I blame this cultural dynamic on college-educated feminist moms who came of age in the 60s. It seems that many of them, including mine, encouraged their daughters to think of marriage as a distraction from the careers their daughters needed to focus on in order ensure their independence, personal empowerment, and ultimate fulfillment. Partnering up in a serious way before age 30 was viewed as a sell-out of one's potential as a career woman. This attitude translated among young women into a sense that aspiring to find a husband in one's twenties was lame and weak...and an agenda that should be denied to avoid scaring the boys.

+1 Its not shameful to admit besides a career one wants a fulfilling loving relationship with a man.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have not read all the comments so maybe someone already addressed this, but I feel the problem is that contemporary culture equates female empowerment with --not promiscuity exactly, but the ability to embrace sexuality without commitment or even emotional involvement. Some women truly seem to enjoy low-involvement F-ing. However, I've met many more women in their college years and 20s who become sexually involved very quickly because they want to come off as confident, fun, independent, and not prudish, all while they secretly hope to turn the dalliance into a relationship. Sometimes that happens, but when it doesn't, these women end up feeling rejected or used, not empowered.

I blame this cultural dynamic on college-educated feminist moms who came of age in the 60s. It seems that many of them, including mine, encouraged their daughters to think of marriage as a distraction from the careers their daughters needed to focus on in order ensure their independence, personal empowerment, and ultimate fulfillment. Partnering up in a serious way before age 30 was viewed as a sell-out of one's potential as a career woman. This attitude translated among young women into a sense that aspiring to find a husband in one's twenties was lame and weak...and an agenda that should be denied to avoid scaring the boys.

+1 Its not shameful to admit besides a career one wants a fulfilling loving relationship with a man.

Anonymous wrote:I have not read all the comments so maybe someone already addressed this, but I feel the problem is that contemporary culture equates female empowerment with --not promiscuity exactly, but the ability to embrace sexuality without commitment or even emotional involvement. Some women truly seem to enjoy low-involvement F-ing. However, I've met many more women in their college years and 20s who become sexually involved very quickly because they want to come off as confident, fun, independent, and not prudish, all while they secretly hope to turn the dalliance into a relationship. Sometimes that happens, but when it doesn't, these women end up feeling rejected or used, not empowered.

I blame this cultural dynamic on college-educated feminist moms who came of age in the 60s. It seems that many of them, including mine, encouraged their daughters to think of marriage as a distraction from the careers their daughters needed to focus on in order ensure their independence, personal empowerment, and ultimate fulfillment. Partnering up in a serious way before age 30 was viewed as a sell-out of one's potential as a career woman. This attitude translated among young women into a sense that aspiring to find a husband in one's twenties was lame and weak...and an agenda that should be denied to avoid scaring the boys.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me this is how dating works: all relationships fail until one doesn't. She's 26, having some failed relationships isn't a big deal.

I think the whole point of the OP is that she's banging these guys before a meaningful relationship has been established.

I guess I don't think "banging" guys is a big deal either. Anecdotally, I don't know many who want to get too "meaningful" before having sex. Harder to leave if the sex doesn't work out.

Again, that's fine. But don't be surprised when you're judged accordingly for your actions by many people, including potential partners.

They wouldn't want to be with the type of man who would have a problem with those actions (which I always thought was just dating). And no one else judging them equates to anything more than a dirty look or a whisper, if that.

Right. They'll end up with the sorts of guys the OP described. If that's what you want, great.

But you'd be surprised how many decent men won't be attracted to women who "don't think banging guys is a big deal." Guys who just want to bang chicks, yeah, you'll be popular.

Or, they'll end up with the type of guys they want. Just not at 26.