Anonymous wrote:Generally I think that people who are over the top against spanking either are bipolar or in recovery, suffered abuse themselves as a child, are the kind of permissive parents who are in denial about their kid's behavior, or started with sweet kids with pliant personalities and don't truly understand why other parents spank. I am not talking about the kind of parents who spank their kids in anger, the kind you see cussing and yanking a 3-year-old around by the arm and screaming at the park or grocery store. That is another category of low class.

I'm opposed to spanking and I don't fit into any of those categories. I have two kids with sensory issues and ADHD, not at all "compliant" in their nature.

I was raised by strict parents who treated our family as a cooperative unit. We had lots of chores, we were all good students, and we were disciplined without punishment of any kind. I think they used timeouts and sent us to our rooms but for the most part we discussed things. There are five of us, all doctors and therapists.

I am opposed to spanking because my parents didn't do it and it worked out well.

Generally I think that people who are over the top against spanking either are bipolar or in recovery, suffered abuse themselves as a child, are the kind of permissive parents who are in denial about their kid's behavior, or started with sweet kids with pliant personalities and don't truly understand why other parents spank. I am not talking about the kind of parents who spank their kids in anger, the kind you see cussing and yanking a 3-year-old around by the arm and screaming at the park or grocery store. That is another category of low class.

I want start by saying that I'm pro-spanking, if did in the right way but I want also share an experience.
Until a few years ago I thought that not all kids were equal and a parent had to adjust his disciplinary method in function of the child and I thought that a spank now and then would certainly not hurt anyone (quite the contrary). But recently, because of my job, I worked in prisons and there I understood that what before I would have considered two children with opposite personalities are more alike than I ever imagined. I'm not talking about normal criminals in jails, I'm talking about psychopaths (in jail or not). Talking to them I understood these people can't be really educated, no matter what you do; they never change. And if I have to say the truth, since then I'm a bit afraid of punish a child without knowing if he is a psychopath or not. This is mostly due to a conversation with a psychopathic inmate convicted for having killed his mother after have revealed her his murder of his father when he was 14. During the conversation I asked him why he killed his father and he replied that he killed him because was the fourth time in his life (LIFE, hence in 14 years) that he slapped him in the face (and the slap was just a normal one) and because so he would not interfere with his business anymore. If this can still be quite "normal" in a prison, what came after shocked me. I asked him why he revealed his murder to his mother more than a dozen of years later: he said "I've always been curious to see my mom's reaction to what I did and a day I did it. But she had a bad reaction". So I asked what reaction he expected (thinking "this guy must be an idiot! Does he really thought she would react in a different manner?!") and he said: "I don't know, but I hoped something better, instead she started to cry and shout as everyone else. That's so annoying and boring. At least she tried to beat me" (this is why he killed her, unintentionally they say). At this point I understood that with "bad reaction" he didn't mean a bad and negative reaction of the mother (that's what she had) but a bad entertainment, a boring reaction. And his emotions during all this... well, there was no emotion; he was calm and relaxed!
I really hope that none of you has a psychopath as son

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please just make sure to let people you meet know you are spanking your kids so I can tell you how disgusting that is and stay far away from you. Oh yes I know you wouldn't want to be my friend anyway blah blah...then own it. Be open and honest about your "parenting" ways. So middle ages...

Don't worry, your kids' behavior will let me know loud and clear that you don't spank and I'll not want my child around them. See? It all works out.

Other people are able to raise well behaved children without hitting just FYI. Don't assume that well behaved children are being hit at home.

Anonymous wrote:Please just make sure to let people you meet know you are spanking your kids so I can tell you how disgusting that is and stay far away from you. Oh yes I know you wouldn't want to be my friend anyway blah blah...then own it. Be open and honest about your "parenting" ways. So middle ages...

Don't worry, your kids' behavior will let me know loud and clear that you don't spank and I'll not want my child around them. See? It all works out.

Anonymous wrote:Why do you call your kids precocious when they are really spoiled brats who could use a good whooping?

LOL. Amen.

Why do you call your kids precocious when they are really spoiled brats who could use a good whooping?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I'm sure that all of you spankers are 100% in control of your emotions and use other discipline methods in your home, that has not been true of the vast majority of people I have personally observed punishing their children by striking them. What I have seen, in public and a

mong the people I grew up around, ranged between frustrated parents with few parenting skills hitting a child on the hand, head or bottom because the child was whining/crying/not listening/other infraction unrelated to safety and parents saying things like "When we get home, you'll choose a belt" to children who had committed more serious infractions. In all cases, the public spanking or public threat of private spanking was not immediately followed by the family leaving the public situation. Mostly they just stick around at the BBQ or wherever and the child's behavior does not actually change.

So while I suppose I can understand what you guys are saying about calm, rational spanks and only doing it in very serious circumstances, that has not been my observation of how this technique is used.

Where do you live that you see all these people spanking their kids? Your story sounds incredulous to me.

It doesn't to me. It sounds like Ruralsville, where I lived for a few years. It doesn't sound like here, I agree.

Incredulous describes someone who is unwilling or unable to believe something; skeptical. So the PP who said "Your story sounds incredulous" is actually the one who is incredulous.

More appropriate word choices: unbelievable, dubious, improbable, unlikely, incredible.

Anonymous wrote:Omg. I don't really believe in spanking and have never and will never spank my kids, but OP is a little cray cray with the own it crap!

This! It's like she's using DCUM as a stand-in for an abusive parent (hers) or a spouse if they spank and she disagrees. Very weird!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think PP said that it was the only tool.

But the one play date she had where she couldn't hit the child ended badly.

Oh snap!

But wait, that's not what she said. And nobody spanks other people's kids. Please.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think PP said that it was the only tool.

But the one play date she had where she couldn't hit the child ended badly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please just make sure to let people you meet know you are spanking your kids so I can tell you how disgusting that is and stay far away from you. Oh yes I know you wouldn't want to be my friend anyway blah blah...then own it. Be open and honest about your "parenting" ways. So middle ages...

You want me to tell absolutely every person I meet that I spank my kids?

Hello, my name is Jane Doe, and I spank my kids? What about you? LOL!

I don't think PP said that it was the only tool.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please just make sure to let people you meet know you are spanking your kids so I can tell you how disgusting that is and stay far away from you. Oh yes I know you wouldn't want to be my friend anyway blah blah...then own it. Be open and honest about your "parenting" ways. So middle ages...

it's easier that you start with your tiresome tirade every time you meet anyone (to your credit, you are probably already doing this) so that spankers and non-spankers alike can avoid you. jeez.

I would probably not forge a relationship with people who hit children and wouldn't want my kids going to their house, especially unsupervised. No hitting is a pretty easy concept for small kids to understand, but not when a grown up starts hitting little kids. Discipline without hitting takes a lot of consistency and hard work (which is probably why hitting is so attractive, it's a lazy form of discipline) and I don't want that upended by my kids seeing a grown up hit a child especially without me there.

I have spanked my child. I have spanked my sister's children. I would not spank one of my child's friends visiting on a play date. My child has invited a child on a play date. The kid was never invited back. No need to worry your pretty little head, your unruly, unmanageable children will not be invited on a second visit.

The fact that you cannot manage children that you cannot hit is chilling, and speaks volumes about your inability to discipline effectively.

It sounds like she has been disciplining effectively.

It's not effective if the only way your children, or other children, will listen to you is if they fear you hitting them. Remember that "discipline" means "teaching." She can't handle a child on a play date if she cannot hit them. Let's agree that if the belt is the only tool in your parenting toolbox, you're doing it wrong. PP is doing it wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please just make sure to let people you meet know you are spanking your kids so I can tell you how disgusting that is and stay far away from you. Oh yes I know you wouldn't want to be my friend anyway blah blah...then own it. Be open and honest about your "parenting" ways. So middle ages...

it's easier that you start with your tiresome tirade every time you meet anyone (to your credit, you are probably already doing this) so that spankers and non-spankers alike can avoid you. jeez.

I would probably not forge a relationship with people who hit children and wouldn't want my kids going to their house, especially unsupervised. No hitting is a pretty easy concept for small kids to understand, but not when a grown up starts hitting little kids. Discipline without hitting takes a lot of consistency and hard work (which is probably why hitting is so attractive, it's a lazy form of discipline) and I don't want that upended by my kids seeing a grown up hit a child especially without me there.

Do you also not drink alcohol because it is hard to teach a child not to drink alcohol if an adult does it?

Drinking alcohol is something you do to yourself, hitting is something you do to another.

Apples/oranges.

Right. And no alcohol until 21. I don't want my kid going to your house if you let your 15 year old take shots easier. Not rocket science.