I have experienced wonderful kindnesses from flight attendants with my NT kid. Once a flight was delayed so long it took off at 1 a.m.; kid was hungry and tired and the flight attendant gave him her own meal, and refused my money when I tried to pay for a blanket and pillow. Of course I immediately emailed the airline with praise for the attendant. It seems like the attendant could have handled this case a little more tolerantly and thoughtfully to prevent the escalation. For those who fault the mother for being shrill with her demands, isn't everyone on a plane shrill? We don't like our seat mate; we're worried about making our connections; we complain about nut residue; we're annoyed by the crying baby. Being on a plane makes us all feel a little entitled, and I can relate to the mother for perhaps voicing her desperation in a less than subtle way.

Anonymous wrote:I want fat people to stay home! They take up more than their fair share of space on metro and airplanes! Also ugly people because it makes me uncomfortable to look at them!

LOL

Anonymous wrote:If i knew hot food would help calm my child I would purchase some right before getting on the plane (asking wherever I was ordering it from make it piping hot) and give it to her on the plane. Or I would pony up the cash and buy a first class seat. This isn't rocket science. IF the parent really knew her child she would be prepared. This isn't a special needs issue, it's a stupid parent issue.

Agree.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there some reason the mother didn't plan ahead for the trip to have hot food available for her child?

She said the daughter refused to eat earlier at the restaurant. So she brought snacks along and hoped for the best.

That is not a plan. She should have packed a hot sandwich from the restaurant and carried it on the plane.

Anonymous wrote:So much ignorance and ugliness towards kids with autism in this thread. That is really sad in 2015. It is interesting to see what people are really thinking about my child, I guess I'd rather know than assume most people are understanding and know something about autism.

I disagree. I do not see anyone condemning the girl...its her mother and how the mother reacted and handled the situation.

If i knew hot food would help calm my child I would purchase some right before getting on the plane (asking wherever I was ordering it from make it piping hot) and give it to her on the plane. Or I would pony up the cash and buy a first class seat. This isn't rocket science. IF the parent really knew her child she would be prepared. This isn't a special needs issue, it's a stupid parent issue.

Anonymous wrote:Is there some reason the mother didn't plan ahead for the trip to have hot food available for her child?

She said the daughter refused to eat earlier at the restaurant. So she brought snacks along and hoped for the best.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If its to the point that your chid will scratch others and you most likely cant hold her back, then dont go on a plane

Or you could find some compassion. Honestly, this thread is sickening. Such an easy solution for this girl and you're raking her mom through the coals. For what? We have lost our humanity when people can't see that sometimes you think outside the box and be decent human beings.

There is a difference from having compassion and violent behavior. Mom cannot control the tantrums and child is to big to carry or reasonably restrain. If child cannot control her behavior, then you don't travel. We went through a rough period of two years where we could not take our child out to eat, travel - flight or hotel, and spent every day in services. You deal. Either it gets better or you don't travel out of safety for everyone.

But the obvious point is that the child was actually controlled and there was no violent behavior. All this "what if" is just that. The kid was calm and never violent. And yet the plane still made an "emergency" landing.

Because you can't make threats to a flight attendant about potential uncontrolled violence. My father was once in a security line at an airport when the guy behind him made some sort of joke about a bomb and was whisked away by security. And that was pre-9/11!

The SN parents will never understand this. If it's less than carte blanche they won't even try

It was a statement not a threat. It's like saying if I don't get some orange juice my child will have a diabetic episode. She said if I don't get some warm food my daughter will have an episode. No difference.

They're similar, clearly, but I think the difference is that the diabetic episode is a medical emergency whereas the other is a violent emergency. Only the second presents the possibility of someone doing harm to another passenger, and maybe not able to be prevented from doing so. I don't think the issue was the food, exactly, it seems like the problem was that the mom framed the issue in terms of "if you don't do X, a violent outcome is likely". That seems like something an airline likely has to take pretty seriously.

You have obviously never seen somebody in a full blown diabetic episode. It can be violent. A sandwich is no different than orange juice. The fact is people believe better parenting can fix autism. People want to ban kids from flight, ban autistic kids, ... It is no different than say... too bad, I guess people in wheel chairs can no longer fly. If is plain and simple discrimination.

]

I think this is really the crux of the issue. People who think better parenting could have "solved" this autistic child's issue think the flight attendant acted reasonably. Also, many people are absolutely terrified of having a special needs child, and believing that better parenting can "fix" autism is a mental crutch for them. ("I will never had a child who behaves like that, because I am a good parent").

That's not true of everyone. But some of us do think that if your child has the potential to get out of control in a dangerous way, which is what the mom said to the flight attendant, there are better ways to travel that give you more control over the situation.

The mom and the girl fly all the time, since the child was 6 month old, 24 states and 5 countries. She has gotten it right for 15 years. Are we saying that the expectation is that this mom must be perfect and never miscalculate. The mom did not say she will potentially get out of control, she just pointed out the flight attendant will be all over it once there is a problem, why not address it before there is a problem.

Is there some reason the mother didn't plan ahead for the trip to have hot food available for her child?

Anonymous wrote:So much ignorance and ugliness towards kids with autism in this thread. That is really sad in 2015. It is interesting to see what people are really thinking about my child, I guess I'd rather know than assume most people are understanding and know something about autism.

Not everyone thinks this way, honestly. Just the assholes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If its to the point that your chid will scratch others and you most likely cant hold her back, then dont go on a plane

Or you could find some compassion. Honestly, this thread is sickening. Such an easy solution for this girl and you're raking her mom through the coals. For what? We have lost our humanity when people can't see that sometimes you think outside the box and be decent human beings.

There is a difference from having compassion and violent behavior. Mom cannot control the tantrums and child is to big to carry or reasonably restrain. If child cannot control her behavior, then you don't travel. We went through a rough period of two years where we could not take our child out to eat, travel - flight or hotel, and spent every day in services. You deal. Either it gets better or you don't travel out of safety for everyone.

But the obvious point is that the child was actually controlled and there was no violent behavior. All this "what if" is just that. The kid was calm and never violent. And yet the plane still made an "emergency" landing.

Because you can't make threats to a flight attendant about potential uncontrolled violence. My father was once in a security line at an airport when the guy behind him made some sort of joke about a bomb and was whisked away by security. And that was pre-9/11!

The SN parents will never understand this. If it's less than carte blanche they won't even try

It was a statement not a threat. It's like saying if I don't get some orange juice my child will have a diabetic episode. She said if I don't get some warm food my daughter will have an episode. No difference.

They're similar, clearly, but I think the difference is that the diabetic episode is a medical emergency whereas the other is a violent emergency. Only the second presents the possibility of someone doing harm to another passenger, and maybe not able to be prevented from doing so. I don't think the issue was the food, exactly, it seems like the problem was that the mom framed the issue in terms of "if you don't do X, a violent outcome is likely". That seems like something an airline likely has to take pretty seriously.

You have obviously never seen somebody in a full blown diabetic episode. It can be violent. A sandwich is no different than orange juice. The fact is people believe better parenting can fix autism. People want to ban kids from flight, ban autistic kids, ... It is no different than say... too bad, I guess people in wheel chairs can no longer fly. If is plain and simple discrimination.

]

I think this is really the crux of the issue. People who think better parenting could have "solved" this autistic child's issue think the flight attendant acted reasonably. Also, many people are absolutely terrified of having a special needs child, and believing that better parenting can "fix" autism is a mental crutch for them. ("I will never had a child who behaves like that, because I am a good parent").

That's not true of everyone. But some of us do think that if your child has the potential to get out of control in a dangerous way, which is what the mom said to the flight attendant, there are better ways to travel that give you more control over the situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If its to the point that your chid will scratch others and you most likely cant hold her back, then dont go on a plane

Or you could find some compassion. Honestly, this thread is sickening. Such an easy solution for this girl and you're raking her mom through the coals. For what? We have lost our humanity when people can't see that sometimes you think outside the box and be decent human beings.

There is a difference from having compassion and violent behavior. Mom cannot control the tantrums and child is to big to carry or reasonably restrain. If child cannot control her behavior, then you don't travel. We went through a rough period of two years where we could not take our child out to eat, travel - flight or hotel, and spent every day in services. You deal. Either it gets better or you don't travel out of safety for everyone.

But the obvious point is that the child was actually controlled and there was no violent behavior. All this "what if" is just that. The kid was calm and never violent. And yet the plane still made an "emergency" landing.

Because you can't make threats to a flight attendant about potential uncontrolled violence. My father was once in a security line at an airport when the guy behind him made some sort of joke about a bomb and was whisked away by security. And that was pre-9/11!

The SN parents will never understand this. If it's less than carte blanche they won't even try

It was a statement not a threat. It's like saying if I don't get some orange juice my child will have a diabetic episode. She said if I don't get some warm food my daughter will have an episode. No difference.

They're similar, clearly, but I think the difference is that the diabetic episode is a medical emergency whereas the other is a violent emergency. Only the second presents the possibility of someone doing harm to another passenger, and maybe not able to be prevented from doing so. I don't think the issue was the food, exactly, it seems like the problem was that the mom framed the issue in terms of "if you don't do X, a violent outcome is likely". That seems like something an airline likely has to take pretty seriously.

You have obviously never seen somebody in a full blown diabetic episode. It can be violent. A sandwich is no different than orange juice. The fact is people believe better parenting can fix autism. People want to ban kids from flight, ban autistic kids, ... It is no different than say... too bad, I guess people in wheel chairs can no longer fly. If is plain and simple discrimination.

]

I think this is really the crux of the issue. People who think better parenting could have "solved" this autistic child's issue think the flight attendant acted reasonably. Also, many people are absolutely terrified of having a special needs child, and believing that better parenting can "fix" autism is a mental crutch for them. ("I will never had a child who behaves like that, because I am a good parent").

Damn, PP hit the nail on the head with the bolded statement!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If its to the point that your chid will scratch others and you most likely cant hold her back, then dont go on a plane

Or you could find some compassion. Honestly, this thread is sickening. Such an easy solution for this girl and you're raking her mom through the coals. For what? We have lost our humanity when people can't see that sometimes you think outside the box and be decent human beings.

There is a difference from having compassion and violent behavior. Mom cannot control the tantrums and child is to big to carry or reasonably restrain. If child cannot control her behavior, then you don't travel. We went through a rough period of two years where we could not take our child out to eat, travel - flight or hotel, and spent every day in services. You deal. Either it gets better or you don't travel out of safety for everyone.

But the obvious point is that the child was actually controlled and there was no violent behavior. All this "what if" is just that. The kid was calm and never violent. And yet the plane still made an "emergency" landing.

Because you can't make threats to a flight attendant about potential uncontrolled violence. My father was once in a security line at an airport when the guy behind him made some sort of joke about a bomb and was whisked away by security. And that was pre-9/11!

The SN parents will never understand this. If it's less than carte blanche they won't even try

It was a statement not a threat. It's like saying if I don't get some orange juice my child will have a diabetic episode. She said if I don't get some warm food my daughter will have an episode. No difference.

They're similar, clearly, but I think the difference is that the diabetic episode is a medical emergency whereas the other is a violent emergency. Only the second presents the possibility of someone doing harm to another passenger, and maybe not able to be prevented from doing so. I don't think the issue was the food, exactly, it seems like the problem was that the mom framed the issue in terms of "if you don't do X, a violent outcome is likely". That seems like something an airline likely has to take pretty seriously.

You have obviously never seen somebody in a full blown diabetic episode. It can be violent. A sandwich is no different than orange juice. The fact is people believe better parenting can fix autism. People want to ban kids from flight, ban autistic kids, ... It is no different than say... too bad, I guess people in wheel chairs can no longer fly. If is plain and simple discrimination.

]

I think this is really the crux of the issue. People who think better parenting could have "solved" this autistic child's issue think the flight attendant acted reasonably. Also, many people are absolutely terrified of having a special needs child, and believing that better parenting can "fix" autism is a mental crutch for them. ("I will never had a child who behaves like that, because I am a good parent").

I want fat people to stay home! They take up more than their fair share of space on metro and airplanes! Also ugly people because it makes me uncomfortable to look at them!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup, this is why as a parent of an autistic child I limit where I take him. I don't expect people to understand, sympathize or even try. People who don't have an autistic or special needs kid just have no idea.

So you are creating a lousy life for your kid so other spoiled adults aren't bothered by him? Your poor child.

No, PP sounds smart and realistic.

Also, can people who are in wheel chairs stay home, they really can slow me down when they need to get off first. It is suck a bother. They should actually just never leave the house.