I sent a card with money, made a charitable donation in my cousin's name and flowers to the family at the house. I included $20.00 with the card since I can't afford to fly out of state to the funeral and stay in a hotel. I won't be there to bring a casserole, food or drinks. I told them what it was for. I think it will be greatly appreciated. I am sending everything except myself. I really want to attend. She was my favorite cousin. They can use the money for after the funeral when the guests come over. When my mother died people handed us money, not everyone can afford expensive flowers. They felt good giving something and we used money for food and drinks for the mourners.

When our housekeeper's brother died, I gave her $500 to defray the funeral costs. She had only worked for us for a few months at that point. If now, I would probably give her a couple grand.

Money helps pay for all the expenses incurred. When my son unexpectantly died at 30 he didn't have life insurance. He left behind 2 very young children. We were grateful for the money to help with the funeral expenses. If everyone that attended the funeral gave flowers there wouldn't have been any room for people to attend.

I am Black and it is customary for us to send money in a card.

I would only send money if I knew that my friend (or close loved ones!) really needed it.

If it would greatly assist them in their daily living expenses or their funeral costs.

No. If you want, Send flowers or a charitable donation in the deceased’s name (if they prefer it) separate.

Money won’t replace a love one. Keep your pennies to yourself.

My Mother’s small town, middle class Catholic Wisconsin relatives sent us money when she died, Like $10 each, even though they knew she(we) were well off. So it seemed clearly cultural.

It depends on the race and class.

I will get blasted for saying this but many times African Americans, especially Af Ams who are not upper middle class or above, take donations to help pay for funerals.

Anonymous wrote:I think Asians give money.

So do Nigerians.

Anonymous wrote:If the family is in need then yes. Send as much as you can spare.

I have included money when my 2nd cousin died and his wife was SAHM - to help her get back on her feet.

I think it is appropriate considering the circumstance. Not necessary but if you want to give then give. When I have given, I have given from my heart and in honor of the deceased and to help the survivors. Those who are left behind have to still live in this world.

No

I think Asians give money.

I’m from NJ too and never in my like heard of including money. A Mass card. A fruit box. A ham. Not money.