Anonymous wrote:And the lesson is...


Anyone?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Again ladies, men here are trying to be honest. You may not like what we are saying and in fact it may strike deep insecurities you may have (for whatever reason). In numerous attempts to be respectful and provide our perspective, too many many here harp and belittle. You know what that does - it tells us maybe we should treat you like shit, fuck you and dump you as that is what seems to be what works. Is that really what the message you want to send?

Men trying to be honest? Ha! Seriously. It's a bunch of trolling. The OP is total bullshit. There's no fable here to learn from.

What I've learned is how insecure men think:

Have sex with me = respectable woman
Have sex with anyone else = whore

Relationship status seems to be completely irrelevant.

Anonymous wrote:Again ladies, men here are trying to be honest. You may not like what we are saying and in fact it may strike deep insecurities you may have (for whatever reason). In numerous attempts to be respectful and provide our perspective, too many many here harp and belittle. You know what that does - it tells us maybe we should treat you like shit, fuck you and dump you as that is what seems to be what works. Is that really what the message you want to send?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So things didn't go so well. He didn't want to have dinner so we got together for a coffee. We weren't there long. I tried to make nice small talk but he wasn't into it. He did bring up seeing me with that other guy. He asked me if he was a long lost cousin. I laughed and said no and he said he figured as much and that he was trying to be funny. He asked me if I'm dating him (guy 2). I said that I went out with him a couple of times. He then asked me if I'm having sex with him. I said that instead of talking about other people I wanted to talk about and focus on us.

He then said that he apologizes for having read our cues wrong - whatever that means. He said he wanted to confirm that I"m dating more than just him. I said that I want us to be exclusive if that's what he wants too. He didn't reply like I thought he would. He said he misread "us" so we should keep things as they are and that I can date whoever I want.

I don't think he broke up with me but it was weird - I've broken up before and it never goes this way. He just looked weird and sad and said things I know are out of character for him. He asked why I never dressed up sexy for him like I did for the other guy. I instantly said I would next time we go out and he just said 'yeah right.'

Then we parted. Maybe we'll get together later tonight. Sucks big time.

Clearly you were the only one this guy has eyes for so when he realized you weren't already exclusive it really hurt him. OP, if you really want this guy, persue him. Make it clear that you are shifting gears and have made up your mind that you now only want to be with him. Of course, don't push too hard if he isn't coming around rather easily, but calling him, being proactive making nice plans, cook for him, tell him how you feel, etc is a good idea. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The update is a dead giveaway this is a troll post. No guy would compare the outfits a girl is wearing on dates with him vs. her dates with other guys. Straight guys don't pay that much attention to clothing.

Troll. Mostly because it was just last week that the post from the guy bitching that his new girl was holding out sex because he was special. Too coincidental that this post was just a week later.

Anonymous wrote:The update is a dead giveaway this is a troll post. No guy would compare the outfits a girl is wearing on dates with him vs. her dates with other guys. Straight guys don't pay that much attention to clothing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The update is a dead giveaway this is a troll post. No guy would compare the outfits a girl is wearing on dates with him vs. her dates with other guys. Straight guys don't pay that much attention to clothing.

Troll. Mostly because it was just last week that the post from the guy bitching that his new girl was holding out sex because he was special. Too coincidental that this post was just a week later.

Anonymous wrote:So things didn't go so well. He didn't want to have dinner so we got together for a coffee. We weren't there long. I tried to make nice small talk but he wasn't into it. He did bring up seeing me with that other guy. He asked me if he was a long lost cousin. I laughed and said no and he said he figured as much and that he was trying to be funny. He asked me if I'm dating him (guy 2). I said that I went out with him a couple of times. He then asked me if I'm having sex with him. I said that instead of talking about other people I wanted to talk about and focus on us.

He then said that he apologizes for having read our cues wrong - whatever that means. He said he wanted to confirm that I"m dating more than just him. I said that I want us to be exclusive if that's what he wants too. He didn't reply like I thought he would. He said he misread "us" so we should keep things as they are and that I can date whoever I want.

I don't think he broke up with me but it was weird - I've broken up before and it never goes this way. He just looked weird and sad and said things I know are out of character for him. He asked why I never dressed up sexy for him like I did for the other guy. I instantly said I would next time we go out and he just said 'yeah right.'

Then we parted. Maybe we'll get together later tonight. Sucks big time.

He broke up with you. Maybe you'll be a booty call if you let yourself be that. He was into you and now he's not. It's time to move on and count this as a lesson learned.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All I'm saying is what women do and what they say are not generally in sync.

For instance, what's the "next level" with guy 1? Physical intimacy? Because if that's a yes, then guy 2 and guy 3 already had a taste of "next level" before the guy you supposedly like.

Now, you can deny till the end of time to guy 1 any of this stuff, should you two become exclusive, but you will know (and we will know, arbitrarily and anecdotally) that you are not truthful with him. Any time he brings up a story to another male, friend or boy growing up, that women fuck guys arbitrarily but hold out for the ones they like, you best stay quiet and not argue that as a lie.

OP makes women look bad and reinforces the stereotype that A$$holes get laid while nice guys don't. My DH has even said to me that some women LIKE to be mistreated because they hook up with the jerks and keep them around.

Frankly, I would never have done what OP did. Nothing wrong with dating several men IF you are non exclusive. HOWEVER, when she slept with #2, that should have prompted her to be exclusive with him or let the other two know she was more "serious" about #2. If Serious does NOT equal sex (to OP), then why not sleep with #1? OP admits that #2's only good in bed, he is lacking in other areas, (where #1 excels) so WHY keep seeing him? Why not just dump #2 and have sex with #1?

#1 could be spectacular in bed or he could be okay. She doesn't know because she never gave him a chance. And really, bedroom skills can be learned, so she really screwed up. I don't care if it's a male or a female. I would say the same thing: OP should have
-dumped the other guys after sleeping with #2
-waited to sleep with him (since she says she was looking to settle down.)
-Slept with #1 to see if they were compatible instead of making him wait.

If #1 asks, she needs to be truthful that she slept with #2, which will reinforce the stupid stereotype about A$$holes getting laid. I'm sure he will ask.

I'm also betting that she is much more conservative with #1 than #2, which is why he appeared shocked when he saw her with someone else. He probably thought they were heading somewhere and was surprised to see her with someone else. Nothing wrong with dating. Something wrong with her sleeping with #2 while getting "serious" with #1.

Anonymous wrote:The update is a dead giveaway this is a troll post. No guy would compare the outfits a girl is wearing on dates with him vs. her dates with other guys. Straight guys don't pay that much attention to clothing.

Anonymous wrote:The update is a dead giveaway this is a troll post. No guy would compare the outfits a girl is wearing on dates with him vs. her dates with other guys. Straight guys don't pay that much attention to clothing.

Anonymous wrote:The update is a dead giveaway this is a troll post. No guy would compare the outfits a girl is wearing on dates with him vs. her dates with other guys. Straight guys don't pay that much attention to clothing.