Anonymous wrote:In our experience, the problem is that the prevalence of ADHD drugs has shifted the bell-curve so that behavior that was considered normal ten years ago is now considered deviant/disruptive. And the curve keeps shifting to the right. In our experience, it is not a coincidence that boys are having the most trouble in the highly-feminized modern classroom, where sitting still and producing major amounts of written work product are considered the measure of learning, even at very young ages.

Try requesting male teachers with a reputation for highly effective teaching, particularly teachers who are known for good relational skills. You may see your son's perspective change significantly. There is an old expression about boys that they don't care what you know, until they know that you care. The hectoring, needling, "sit up straight and cooperate" style of so many teachers these days is just a disaster for so many kids, especially boys.

It is much easier to blame/diagnose/medicalize the child than for the parents and (particularly) the schools to take a hard look in the mirror. Consider trying a different, more appropriate learning environment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are not the only one. DS is also ADHD and no, he is not on meds. His grades are not suffering so far. He has learned a lot of tactics to manage his ADHD to his advantage and to channel his extra energy into other activities. In other words, we got ourselves a huge drama geek and a voracious reader. Oh, and he's a class clown. So far, no major complaints from ES, MS and now HS.

FWIW, diagnosed at 10 with ADHD.

OP here, thanks for the reply. DS is the class clown and the teachers hate that. I was sad to hear many of the other moms chatting about what drugs their child is on. Then the doses and that special dose just to get homework done....
My son can not write anything down. He has no patience and does math in his head rather than write. I have sat and watched the other kids (mostly girls) carefully writing out tons of work. Paragraphs long.
DS is 9 and labeled by teachers as trouble. He is smart and they mention that in a patronizing way.
His self esteem is taking a dive, and I suspect that meds would make him feel less like a standout.
One day he told me that he does not understand why all the other kids in the neighborhood do not want to play as much as he does. That was a cute statement, but it saddened me.

Is there a reason you are not medicating? We did not medicate for grades. We medicated because it impacted his decision making and his self-esteem.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve posted a couple times in this thread but it has gotten so nasty. FYI, we decided not to medicate our child based on some of the same research listed above. However, we also based our decision on our own individual child and the severity of his symptoms. We weighed everything and decided to take a different path from medication. That decision has worked well so far.

HOWEVER, who am I to say that another family should make the same decision we made? It’s none of my business. More power to the parents who chose medication for their child if they see that it is helping, even in the short term. I have plenty of friends who have chosen to medicate their children and I don’t judge them and hope that they do not judge me for not medicating. Really, I try to never discuss it since the emotions are so raw on this issue. We are ALL struggling with doing what is best for our children. Do we really need to bash each other to justify our own decisions?

So please, let’s all stop being so nasty. (I can always dream, right?)

To those of you medicating: please stop claiming that those that don’t use medication are “selfish” and making their children “suffer”.

To those not medicating: please stop claiming that those using “drugs” are uniformed and are surely ruining their children’s brains.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve posted a couple times in this thread but it has gotten so nasty. FYI, we decided not to medicate our child based on some of the same research listed above. However, we also based our decision on our own individual child and the severity of his symptoms. We weighed everything and decided to take a different path from medication. That decision has worked well so far.

HOWEVER, who am I to say that another family should make the same decision we made? It’s none of my business. More power to the parents who chose medication for their child if they see that it is helping, even in the short term. I have plenty of friends who have chosen to medicate their children and I don’t judge them and hope that they do not judge me for not medicating. Really, I try to never discuss it since the emotions are so raw on this issue. We are ALL struggling with doing what is best for our children. Do we really need to bash each other to justify our own decisions?

So please, let’s all stop being so nasty. (I can always dream, right?)


Hear, hear!
To those of you medicating: please stop claiming that those that don’t use medication are “selfish” and making their children “suffer”.

To those not medicating: please stop claiming that those using “drugs” are uniformed and are surely ruining their children’s brains.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There is no cure for ADHD. Thats not news, we all know that. But there is a treatment. And, yes, the treatment only works while taking it. but during that "temporary" period of time kids go to school, learn, develop social relationships, function. And when you master those skills in 5th grade you are better placed to continue them in 6th, and then 7th and then so on. If you lose 5th grade because you can't focus, read, write (don't minimize dysgraphia, my DS has it and it affects everything, including math), you will start 6th grade at a deficit (academically, socially, behaviorally) and over the years that deficit will grow.

There's no cure for deafness, but kids can get cochlear implants that allow them to hear. It isn't a cure, if the implants are removed or off, the deafness returns. Its similar.

Lots of stuff here.....
1) Regarding "the treatment only works while taking it": the treatment (meds) are not temporary because people stop taking them, they are temporary because they stop working.
2) Regarding "but during that "temporary" period of time kids go to school, learn, develop social relationships, function.": You're right, they do. Except a medicated child is doing this on drugs that facilitated this functioning and that will not be maintained.
3) Regarding "And when you master those skills in 5th grade you are better placed to continue them in 6th, and then 7th and then so on.": A child on medication is not "mastering" anything. They have ingested something that forces their body and mind to act in a way that they cannot act without medication. And when the meds stop working, so will the skills, because they were never mastered in the first place.
4) Regarding "If you lose 5th grade because you can't focus, read, write (don't minimize dysgraphia, my DS has it and it affects everything, including math), you will start 6th grade at a deficit (academically, socially, behaviorally) and over the years that deficit will grow": If this were true, medicated children would show better long term academic outcomes than unmedicated children. And yet, they don't. Also, a medicated child can "lose" 5th grade too. Every day that he is on medication he loses an opportunity to learn what coping skills he needs to develop and cultivate in order for him to compensate for the way his brain functions. His meds will wear off in a few years, and he will then be back to square one, having learned nothing and looking for a higher dosage to simply function.
5) Regarding: "There's no cure for deafness, but kids can get cochlear implants that allow them to hear. It isn't a cure, if the implants are removed or off, the deafness returns. Its similar.": It is so not similar. Cochlear implants do not stop working after several years, you can have a cochlear implant indefinitely, they don't put any chemicals or drugs into your body that mess with your brain chemistry, and as far as I know, they don't have side effects like loss of appetite, poor sleep, anxiety, and stunted growth. Not even close to stimulants. Sorry.

Do you have any evidence based research to support the nonsensical opinions you are spouting? Better yet, are you a medical professional? If "no" to both, please stay off of this thread.

Look, I am not the pp, but he/she knows what they are talking about. The whole system is geared towards acceptance of the meds, so it is a culture that we have. It is in every parent's best interest to believe that what they are doing for their child is the best. So when someone comes along with information like the pp did, it SCARES us, as it should.

But she doesn't know what she's talking about. There are no studies that have any validity to support her IDEOLOGICAL arguments. Her "information" is based on one very poorly designed study. This is not information, this is a scare tactic (yes, you are correct to use that word.) I am not scared. I have relied on the best medical science and my children with ADHD are thriving.

I suspect that those of you with the anti-med bias do not have children with ADHD.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this piece in today's NYT has some interesting information. I think it would be great if schools routinely taught mindfulness.

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/?p=101340?src=dayp

Interesting article. Here is a quote:

"In a large study published last year in The Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, researchers reported that while most young people with A.D.H.D. benefit from medications in the first year, these effects generally wane by the third year, if not sooner.

“There are no long-term, lasting benefits from taking A.D.H.D. medications,” said James M. Swanson, a psychologist at the University of California, Irvine, and an author of the study. “But mindfulness seems to be training the same areas of the brain that have reduced activity in A.D.H.D.”

“That’s why mindfulness might be so important,” he added. “It seems to get at the causes.”