women whose work e-mail signatures say:

Mrs June Smith

in big curly script font.

People who say, "Have a blessed day" on their outgoing work VM.

Well my boss walks around everyone's cubicle to "see" what's going on.
The same boss sends emails with the worst spelling errors you ever read(She's Vietnamese)
Then we have a co-worker who comes to work with different colors of 5 inch heels and changes hair wigs every 2 days.
On Mondays She walks into the office in tight fitting colorful clothes with 5 inch heels and She's blonde, On Tuesday she will walk in as a brunnet,Then Wednesday she has an afro!
It is WAY TOO MUCH!

Anonymous wrote:Masturbating with a mini vibrator in one of the stalls in the women's room

Seriously, at least let the men hear.

I inherited a desk (my predecessor was fired, go figure) that had so many finger nail clippings in it. It was so, so gross.

Masturbating with a mini vibrator in one of the stalls in the women's room

The woman who used to work across the hall from me (she's in a different office now) used to clip at work. It was so loud!

Anonymous wrote:haven't read all of the replies on this thread, but my biggest pet peeve is clipping nails. UGH!

OMG it's not just my office!? or do you work at my office!? surely there can't be more than one person in the world who clips his nails at work. the guy across from me does it and i am appalled. It's not that i think it's a sanitary issue, it's just.... personal grooming! WTF?? why on earth can't you do it at home?

I was FFF when I was nursing and my boobs did not show. Buy bigger clothes.

Anonymous wrote:Talking loud on speakerphone in your office so the whole hallway is hostage to your conversation.

I already said cleavage.

Making popcorn at work.

Chewing gum.

Speakerphone for personal business. I don't need to hear you bickering with your spouse about who will pick up the kids, or the conditions at Nana's nursing home.

I also don't want to have to hear you calling your spouse by any pet names, or having to profess your love for each other at the end of every phone call. high school was 30 years ago.

Talking loud on speakerphone in your office so the whole hallway is hostage to your conversation.

I already said cleavage.

Making popcorn at work.

Chewing gum.

I don't care what you wear, what you eat, or how you groom yourself, so long as you don't smell from a distance. I care whether you do your work, so I find it unprofessional to:

-Come in late, leave early, and generally be unavailable for a significant portion of the work day so that others have to carry a bigger work load to compensate for your absenteeism
-Refusing to respond to emails and phone calls when they relate to tasks that you are specifically responsible for. Teleworking specifically on days when you know your assignments are due but you haven't completed them, so that no one can find you, reach you, or otherwise find out WTF your work is, when we can expect it, etc.
-2 hour lunches
-Saving all of your outgoing emails in the draft folder and never hitting send, or at least using that as your cover story for why you never respond
-Refusing to learn a new skill, new software that the company has adopted, or familiarize yourself with a new subject area that has been assigned to your portfolio

I could go on, but you get the idea. Just do your job, don't yell, and I will love working with you.

Anonymous wrote:Stocking up on huge quantities of food on sale and storing it all in the communal work fridge because it won't fit at home. Then eating other people's food.

Sending out office-wide invitations to renaissance festivals and other assorted new age links.

Discussing your wife's menstraul symptons, especially when she also works at the same company. Ditto for your own intestinal issues or sex life.

Booking a hotel suite for work travel with an opposite sex colleague, walking around in your undershirt, and bringing along a bottle of wine to share.

Running a political campagin out of your office on company time.

Tevas and socks.

Forty year old men calling their dads to figure out how to respond to a minor crisis.

And that's just the beginning of my list. I don't work there anymore.

OMG, this is so freaking annoying. Our communal fridge is stocked with frozen bags of veggies, old spoiled yogurt, rotten food. It disgusts me. I frequently and discreetly dump out those items that should have long been consumed.

Talking to me about Jesus, fcuk him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Overly religious statements in email signatures or auto-replies bother me. I once got an out-of-office auto reply over Christmas break that said something like "I'll be out of the office celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I will return to work after the Epiphany and will respond to your email then." First - religion and work just don't belong together IMO. Second - the message as written was truly not helpful. As a non-Christian, wth is an Epiphany and when is it? I had to go look up religious dates in order to figure out when I could expect a reply to my email. Not cool.

Honestly, this is one of the best things about working in government. Discussing religion - let alone publicly declaring it in FOIA'able emails - is a HUGE no-no in my office. Religious and political iconography in your work space is also severely frowned upon.
It's also the most diverse and egalitarian workplace I've ever encountered. Your mileage may vary, of course, and my office may be an anomaly. But they are actually extremely strict about sticking to the letter of the law.

LOL all of our GOVERNMENT admin assistants have Jesus paraphernalia on their desks in addition to signatures like this

Joyce <3 Smith
Luther 1:13 God Bless Something Something Birth of Jesus

Religious prosletyzing and people who don't know how to use apostrophes (i.e., they're not meant to make words plural).