I would be more upset with my own parenting skills and the fact that I am concerned that I raised a spoiled, materialistic child that can't be trusted not to blow an entire inheritance.

I dont understand the mentality that grandkids 'need' it more than adults.

I just wanted to add to this, even though it was originally posted years ago. I was left quite a bit of money by my (paternal) grandfather. My mother, his daughter in law, when completely money crazy. She manipulated me out of a good chunk of it by making me feel guilty and saying that I needed to pay her back for having raised me. She immediately lost half of this money to bad investments and bad spending habits. My husband and I work and we live as frugal as possible. the money that was left allowed us to pay off our house, invest, and pay off any of our debts. If we hadn't given my mother that money we could have saved more for our retirement. My relationship with my mother is almost completely destroyed. Please do not jeopardize your relationship with your children over this money. Look on the bright side! Your youngest children might have their college completely paid for with this money. that means you don't have to pay for it yourself. Also, since they have received an inheritance already you don't have to leave them anything; unless you want too. If you are worried about them all spending it frivolously then suggest a trust fund. That way their college funds will stay safe. As for your oldest she should be old enough to decide what to do with what she gets. If she wants to spend it all on designer bags it will be her choice. This money is a gift to your children. This inheritance could really help them in life and that is a blessing.

13:31. Your tirade gave me a good laugh. FWIW, I feel great.

Anonymous wrote:It is her money and she can do Whatever she wishes. I would leave you $100.00, just to really insult you. I think you have been counting on inheriting her money and now are angry because she is bypassing you. She obviously doesn't like you or your husband.

Sweet. This is just the kind of nasty person OP has for a mother.

I thank God I don't think and feel the way you do, PP. I already posted, but I can't even imagine what a drag it must be to live life with feelings and intentions like this. Of the two of you -- you, the person who can't wait to hurt someone by what you leave them in your will, and the person who gets the $100, I'd rather be the person who gets the $100 (or even a penny, if you thought that would be even more degrading and painful). I'm glad I'm not you, the person with that amount of blackness in their heart. Feel so sorry for you and OP's mom and people like you, PP. Must suck to want to hurt others, even in your last earthly actions. To imagine it, anticipate it, plan for it -- bbrr, makes me shiver and feel glad I'm me and not you!

It is her money and she can do Whatever she wishes. I would leave you $100.00, just to really insult you. I think you have been counting on inheriting her money and now are angry because she is bypassing you. She obviously doesn't like you or your husband.

Anonymous wrote:OP's mom is using her will to hurt and to punish -- because she doesn't like OP's DH, they get nothing. A nice person would not say out loud, "I am leaving you out of my will because I don't like your husband." She loves that she has that power. Mean people are mean in myriad ways, just like nice people are nice in myriad ways. I'm sure this is not out of character for OP's mother.

OP, you must know what a bitch your mom is by now. Harden yourself against her so she can't keep hurting you. Accept that you won't get anything in the will. By the time she finally dies, you won't care so much anymore. She sounds terrible.

Or maybe your DH is an ass. Hard to tell.

OP's mom is using her will to hurt and to punish -- because she doesn't like OP's DH, they get nothing. A nice person would not say out loud, "I am leaving you out of my will because I don't like your husband." She loves that she has that power. Mean people are mean in myriad ways, just like nice people are nice in myriad ways. I'm sure this is not out of character for OP's mother.

OP, you must know what a bitch your mom is by now. Harden yourself against her so she can't keep hurting you. Accept that you won't get anything in the will. By the time she finally dies, you won't care so much anymore. She sounds terrible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her mom should start a thread "Would you be upset if your children were treating your money like a deferred savings account and confronting you about how you plan to leave it when you're not even close to being dead?"

+1

If you are a grown adult, your parent should have ZERO say in who you marry. If the parent has an axe to grind - that indeed, is how they will be remembered.

For the record, I absolutely agree with money skipping one generation, OP. It should and must be equal distribution to each offspring's children - NOT some lopsided statement otherwise.

"Should and must"? Where are the stone tablets you found that commandment on?

It's my money. i'll give it to whoever I want. If my kid chooses to marry a jerk, that's her life. But I sure as hell don't have to feed it with my hard-won cash.

Anonymous wrote:Her mom should start a thread "Would you be upset if your children were treating your money like a deferred savings account and confronting you about how you plan to leave it when you're not even close to being dead?"

+1

If you are a grown adult, your parent should have ZERO say in who you marry. If the parent has an axe to grind - that indeed, is how they will be remembered.

For the record, I absolutely agree with money skipping one generation, OP. It should and must be equal distribution to each offspring's children - NOT some lopsided statement otherwise.

Her mom should start a thread "Would you be upset if your children were treating your money like a deferred savings account and confronting you about how you plan to leave it when you're not even close to being dead?"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all PPs: Read the original post. The parents do not give OP any money because OPs Mom doesn't like OPs husband. That is a VERY different thing than people just giving their inheritance to all kinds of people for proper reasons.

Changes NOTHING.

+1. It is their money to do with what they see fit - give to OP, give to their grandchildren, leave to charity, or spend it all on drugs and parties. I have no idea if we'll get any money from our parents and I don't care. It's not my money and none of my business. I'd rather have them alive for a very long time and spend it on enjoying themselves, anyway.

You don't get it. OPs question was not "Is it right of my parents to gift their stuff to everyone but me."
OPs question was: "Would you be upset if parents' inheritance went to your kids instead of you." + "Because my Mom hates my husband."

This is NOT supposed to be about the question if the parents have the right to do whatever they want. It is solely about OP feeling hurt by the reasons why and wanting to know if anyone can relate...so I say it again. Read the first post again. If this happened to you, including your Mom telling you "I hate your husband so you get nothing."...tell me that wouldn't hurt you?!

OK, fine. Whatever, be hurt. But OP is getting hurt over something that she said she understood (she said she understood why her mom didn't like her husband). And then she went on alllllll the rest of the post explaining why she wanted the money. That's not being hurt. That's pissed you don't get to stay at home, etc.

I expect it wouldn't be a total shock. I would wonder why I married someone my mother can't stand, or ask what might have happened that caused her to hate him so much.

Perhaps, I would think, there is an opportunity here to breach the divide before we are all standing over her grave?

I would, also, not give a crap about the money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all PPs: Read the original post. The parents do not give OP any money because OPs Mom doesn't like OPs husband. That is a VERY different thing than people just giving their inheritance to all kinds of people for proper reasons.

Changes NOTHING.

+1. It is their money to do with what they see fit - give to OP, give to their grandchildren, leave to charity, or spend it all on drugs and parties. I have no idea if we'll get any money from our parents and I don't care. It's not my money and none of my business. I'd rather have them alive for a very long time and spend it on enjoying themselves, anyway.

You don't get it. OPs question was not "Is it right of my parents to gift their stuff to everyone but me."
OPs question was: "Would you be upset if parents' inheritance went to your kids instead of you." + "Because my Mom hates my husband."

This is NOT supposed to be about the question if the parents have the right to do whatever they want. It is solely about OP feeling hurt by the reasons why and wanting to know if anyone can relate...so I say it again. Read the first post again. If this happened to you, including your Mom telling you "I hate your husband so you get nothing."...tell me that wouldn't hurt you?!

Anonymous wrote:Plus, just speaking as a parent, I can't even imagine the peach pit of a heart someone must have to cut one of their children out of their will because they don't like them or their spouse. I can't imagine how it must feel to be that hard hearted. Must suck.

Why would you expect someone to gift someone money when they don't like that person? It's not OP, it's her husband. I wouldn't expect my in-laws to give me money if they didn't like me. That seems really crazy. Why should they? So OP's parents don't like her husband. Why in the world would they give him money? It's not a right, it's a gift.