Anonymous
Post 10/30/2013 09:44     Subject: Do you think that its rude for neither parent to stay home to hand out candy?
I hate the overused snowflake put down, but come on, PP, this is especially bad. You are the one who is arguing for a situation that requires effort from others so that your child can have the perfect night. The other side is saying that we should all contribute so that everyone can benefit.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2013 02:29     Subject: Do you think that its rude for neither parent to stay home to hand out candy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't think rude is the word. But it is definitely self-centered. Parents count on each other to make Halloween fun for the kids. A lot of parents don't take kids to houses of people they don't know so if other parents don't stay home, Halloween doesn't work.


What is self-centered is expecting that every house will have someone home to cater to your child's candy needs. So, how do you explain why you won't go knock on the door of an elderly lady versus another family's door? You expect that every house regardless of who lives there will be open to trick or treating? Your child can learn that people have other commitments and not to expect that every house is going to be available for them to get candy from. My husband and I rarely get to do things together with my son in the evenings because of our busy schedules. So, I'm supposed to explain to my son that we both won't go out trick or treating with him because one of us needs to stay home to give a snicker's bar to your kid? Come on...


Um, not that unreasonable. Plenty of us parents of 3-year old split the duties. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that *most* of us actually do, at least in neighborhoods where we know one another and don't want to be the assholes.


How many days a week do you get to have dinner together as a family? Spend time together in the evenings as a family? My husband doesn't walk in the door from work until 8pm. So, zero days a week for us. Special "kid" occasions like Halloween are the rare evening times that my son looks forward to us both being there with him. We plan it and it is important family time for us. We split a lot of duties. I'm not splitting up our family time for the sake of your snowflake.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2013 19:46     Subject: Re:Do you think that its rude for neither parent to stay home to hand out candy?
Halloween, free-loaders


OMG. Way too funny!! Free loaders because they aren't home for whatever time frame.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2013 19:43     Subject: Do you think that its rude for neither parent to stay home to hand out candy?
I have to laugh at the attitude here. OP doesn't want to miss trick or treating with her child so she's selfish and entitled. Leaving nobody home is "rude."

What is it called when you're so concerned that your child get candy that you would resort to calling someone else rude for not being home to hand it out?
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2013 19:35     Subject: Do you think that its rude for neither parent to stay home to hand out candy?
Anonymous wrote:1) if your kid is too small to walk, they don't need yo be trick or treating anyway. And if they're old enough to have an awareness, just visit your block and be done.
2) if all the parents went with their kids, how would any kids get candy? Someone goes with the kids, someone stays. That's how it works.


There are plenty of houses with no kids, grown kids, or kids old enough to trick-or-treat with their friends. I mean, THINK here, people.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2013 19:31     Subject: Re:Do you think that its rude for neither parent to stay home to hand out candy?
Anonymous wrote:Just go trick or treating with your kids. Parents only trick or treat with their kids for a few years before they outgrow the activity or they want to go on their own with their friends. You were home to hand out candy for the years before you had kids and you will be home for the thirty or forty years after your kids are grown. Don't overthink this.


Exactly! Some of you take this holiday waaaaaay too seriously. I'm sure all of your children will get more than enough candy. Cripes.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2013 18:03     Subject: Do you think that its rude for neither parent to stay home to hand out candy?
In my neighborhood parents split the duties and one stays home to hand out candy. It definitely wouldn't work if both parents went out. But it sounds like others live in neighborhoods with lots of candy givers in which case Trick or Treating can still happen. In that case, it seems totally fine to me.

Leaving the bowl... I don't know, I guess it keeps people from being "moochers," but I don't think this is the spirit of Halloween fun. Nobody asks you what you are and admires the costume... you don't even get to say Trick or Treat. This may be better than nothing but it is not the equivalent,
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2013 16:33     Subject: Re:Do you think that its rude for neither parent to stay home to hand out candy?
Holy crap. Some of you are nuts. I've spent 12 years in my home as a non-parent handing out candy to 100+ kids each Halloween, leaving work early to be home by 6:00 pm for the youngest and earliest kids.. My baby is too young for trick or treating this year and next year, so I'll be home handing out candy again... But you can bet that when he's old enough, both DH and I will take him out those first few years, and I will not feel the least bit of guilt over leaving our house dark and unattended for an hour.

OP, do whatever you want.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2013 16:14     Subject: Do you think that its rude for neither parent to stay home to hand out candy?
Anonymous wrote:We both go out, don't leave a bowl out. Just a little sign saying out trick or treating.


Mooch.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2013 16:11     Subject: Do you think that its rude for neither parent to stay home to hand out candy?
1) if your kid is too small to walk, they don't need yo be trick or treating anyway. And if they're old enough to have an awareness, just visit your block and be done.
2) if all the parents went with their kids, how would any kids get candy? Someone goes with the kids, someone stays. That's how it works.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2013 16:10     Subject: Re:Do you think that its rude for neither parent to stay home to hand out candy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If your you test needs to be carried why does he or she need to trick or treat. Why doesn't the little one hand out candy with one parent?


Because mom is a princess that can't miss a single second of spending time with precious.
It's all about her and she prefers they all go out as a family.
To hell with the other kids out there.
Because I like staying home and handing out candy to your kid.


holy moly you have anger issues. do everyone a favor and keep your doors closed at halloween.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2013 15:53     Subject: Do you think that its rude for neither parent to stay home to hand out candy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not rude at all! There's no rule that you have to have out candy for Halloween. Trick or treaters come to our neighborhood in cars from who knows where. I don't understand pps saying there's some expectation of reciprocity for giving/getting candy. Our neighborhood has plenty of older people, people who work late, etc., who don't give out candy on Halloween. No one cares!!


Yes, plenty of people don't give out candy, but its a little different if your reason is because you work late, instead of PPs who has said they are leaving to go trick-or-treating during peak hours themselves. That seems like taking advantage of the system, without paying in. Halloween, free-loaders


If they're leaving out a bowl of candy, then they are paying in.


Quoted PP here. Yes, I think everyone agrees that if you leave a bowl, you are paying in and not free-loading. Leaving a bowl actually works in my upper NW neighborhood, but its sad that it doesn't work everywhere. One strategy might be a non-sweet treat, like play dough or dress-up fangs, that are less likely to be hoarded. Still, if you leave a bowl and a greedy kid empties it in spite of the "take one" sign, you can't be responsible.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2013 15:11     Subject: Do you think that its rude for neither parent to stay home to hand out candy?
I've seen older kids dump the whole bowl in their bag even if it had a Please Take One sign. This is when I went out early with my three yr old. So I'm not leaving out a bowl anymore. My child was so disappointed at every house we went to with a bowl because nothing left. He didn't understand. We live in a neighborhood where people drive in their kids to trick or treat.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2013 15:07     Subject: Do you think that its rude for neither parent to stay home to hand out candy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If we left a bowl of candy out, in our neighborhood, it would be gone in minutes. Once our kid is old enough to trick-or-treat, one of us will take her out and the other will just have to stay home. It's really not a big deal to only have one parent accompany the child...


Then you live in a neighborhood of ill-mannered children and inattentive parents.

Most kids are trick or treating with their parents, especially in the early hours. Don't their parents make sure they don't raid the bowl?

For what it's worth, my husband and I both take our 3 kids trick or treating. In our neighborhood, 20% or so of the houses have kids that are trick-or-treating with their parents and leave a bowl out. Parents of older kids, non-parents, and older people are all home to hand out candy. I think those of you that think one parent should sit home while the other one trick or treats with the kids are nuts.


I live in a neighborhood where kids from unsafe neighborhoods are driven in and dropped off to do their trick-or-treating. Nothing I can do about that.

And it's hardly "nuts" for one parent to take the kids out while the other parent stays home to hand out candy. That's what the vast majority of people do.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2013 14:56     Subject: Do you think that its rude for neither parent to stay home to hand out candy?
We left a bowl out last year while we took DD around the block. On our way back, I watched from across the street as a boy of 11ish, very careful sifted through the bowl to get the 2 pieces he wanted most. If there was ever a primo age to be dumping the whole bowl its 11 and here he was following the "Please only take 2!" sign