Anonymous wrote:

If you are wealthy and successful, you dont have to flaunt it. and usually people dont. I would say, psychologically, the only ones who do and are telling the truth about it are envious people themselves and when they did finally get to that point, they couldnt help themselves to show it off.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am new to DCUM and I have noticed that there are lots of wealthy and successful people here. There are hundreds of threads about million dollar homes, private schools, incomes over $200K, expensive vacations, luxury goods, etc. etc.

Does reading about this upset you? Are you a rich or happy person? Are you upset when people post about these things on Facebook?

I am quite successful and I think this is a good anonymous place to post. I can't post some things on Facebook because I don't want my friends, family, and colleagues to know about my success or wealth or happiness. It changes relationships. People treat you differently when they know you are in a different class. There are so many stories about lottery winners that have bad relations with family and friends after winning.

Do other wealthy people feel the same way? Do you continue to boast on Facebook or do you share my concern? While you may not be trying to boast, others will perceive it that way.

Many will lie to pretend to feel important. Keep that in mind. If you are wealthy and successful, you dont have to flaunt it. and usually people dont. I would say, psychologically, the only ones who do and are telling the truth about it are envious people themselves and when they did finally get to that point, they couldnt help themselves to show it off.

Really, all this is a bunch of BS. If youre rich, good for you. If youre not, but still happy, good for you. If youre not happy, go and fix it. If it happens to be about money, find a way to get rich.

I would never disclose/boast financial power. I will say this, being rich can make you feel bullied. Yes. Envision this: you make 750K per year. You finance a house worth ~1.2 million. You live in a million dollar house neighborhood. Think you can still drive into your circular driveway with a corolla? Neighbors talk. Their kids learn it. They treat your kids different because they think you're a poor soul in a rich 'hood. Now that you got that 1.2 million home, you cant get IKEA furniture. It's "tacky." Can't get any art unless its from a gallery and authenticated. Etc. etc etc. All this stuff you have to do to fit in. If you do, you dont feel like yourself and you feel miserable. You do all those things, and you feel like you sold your soul. So, best case scenario. Live way under your means while still being happy and true to thine own self.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am new to DCUM and I have noticed that there are lots of wealthy and successful people here. There are hundreds of threads about million dollar homes, private schools, incomes over $200K, expensive vacations, luxury goods, etc. etc.

Does reading about this upset you? Are you a rich or happy person? Are you upset when people post about these things on Facebook?

I am quite successful and I think this is a good anonymous place to post. I can't post some things on Facebook because I don't want my friends, family, and colleagues to know about my success or wealth or happiness. It changes relationships. People treat you differently when they know you are in a different class. There are so many stories about lottery winners that have bad relations with family and friends after winning.

Do other wealthy people feel the same way? Do you continue to boast on Facebook or do you share my concern? While you may not be trying to boast, others will perceive it that way.

Many will lie to pretend to feel important. Keep that in mind. If you are wealthy and successful, you dont have to flaunt it. and usually people dont. I would say, psychologically, the only ones who do and are telling the truth about it are envious people themselves and when they did finally get to that point, they couldnt help themselves to show it off.

Really, all this is a bunch of BS. If youre rich, good for you. If youre not, but still happy, good for you. If youre not happy, go and fix it. If it happens to be about money, find a way to get rich.

I would never disclose/boast financial power. I will say this, being rich can make you feel bullied. Yes. Envision this: you make 750K per year. You finance a house worth ~1.2 million. You live in a million dollar house neighborhood. Think you can still drive into your circular driveway with a corolla? Neighbors talk. Their kids learn it. They treat your kids different because they think you're a poor soul in a rich 'hood. Now that you got that 1.2 million home, you cant get IKEA furniture. It's "tacky." Can't get any art unless its from a gallery and authenticated. Etc. etc etc. All this stuff you have to do to fit in. If you do, you dont feel like yourself and you feel miserable. You do all those things, and you feel like you sold your soul. So, best case scenario. Live way under your means while still being happy and true to thine own self.

Anonymous wrote:I am new to DCUM and I have noticed that there are lots of wealthy and successful people here. There are hundreds of threads about million dollar homes, private schools, incomes over $200K, expensive vacations, luxury goods, etc. etc.

Does reading about this upset you? Are you a rich or happy person? Are you upset when people post about these things on Facebook?

I am quite successful and I think this is a good anonymous place to post. I can't post some things on Facebook because I don't want my friends, family, and colleagues to know about my success or wealth or happiness. It changes relationships. People treat you differently when they know you are in a different class. There are so many stories about lottery winners that have bad relations with family and friends after winning.

Do other wealthy people feel the same way? Do you continue to boast on Facebook or do you share my concern? While you may not be trying to boast, others will perceive it that way.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I understand what you are saying. I am new wealth and live VERY conservatively. That is why posting about wealth would be offensive to all my middle class family, friends, and colleagues. After years of regular living, we are in a position to enjoy our wealth a bit.

You have money, but many people will say that if you don't use it, you'd might as well not have it. Why not enjoy yourself more?

It is impossible NOT to post about wealth on FB. FB is all about vacations (I travel to exotic destinations frequently). FB is about food (fancy restaurants and meals and dinner parties). FB is about sharing that new handbag you purchased. Or a new car. Or that new stainless steel refrigerator. Even if you make donations or pursue advanced degrees, people know that you need money to do that. People can be envious that they don't have money to do the same.

My point is that most FB posts are about how you live, which is directly associated to your wealth.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I'm pleased to see that my post has generated some interesting conversation. The recent comments have been much more interesting and satisfying I think. Maybe Monday posters are better than Sunday posters.

Here is what I have learned from the 8 pages of responses:
1.) MOST people do like to discuss their wealth in DCUM. It is anonymous. This has generated 8 pages of posts in a short time. There are dozens of other threads where people state their incomes and expenses. People claim to hate boasting or discussing their wealth in person or on FB (like me - I avoid FB).
2.) People deny that their FB posts are about their wealth. I still disagree with the majority here, but some people at least partly agree that most posts hint at your wealth and your general happiness with your family and friends. One poster called FB "Facebrag" and that has stuck with me.
3.) People like attacking me (successful people). When I post EXAMPLES (some real, some hypothetical), people are quick to attack them.
4.) People admire the low key millionaire more than the extravagant one. I do too. This makes sense to me. I like the old money person who lives simply and focuses on education and charity. The few people who know about my wealth, think this is me. Most people think I am just middle class. My kids will likely be this way too. We don't spoil them and they are very grounded. In this thread, I have hinted at making a change to finally start enjoying my wealth a bit more (and that created some animosity). I am so happy and comfortable living simply, that I'm not sure how much added enjoyment I will get from luxurious living. It is an experiment for the next decade. We are big savers that started with nothing. We frown upon rich people that live paycheck to paycheck.
5) Most people claim that they don't envy the rich (which contradicts the FB study). But a few admit to being jealous. Of course, rich people have many problems too. Of course being happy, healthy and poor is better than being depressed, sick, and filthy rich.

So what have you concluded from this thread and from DCUM in general (regarding wealth, envy, and FB)?

OP again. Unless someone says something that I must respond to, I think this thread has run its course. My conclusions above still apply. Just some final comments:
People are making false assumptions about me. My spouse and I are both self made. We work hard but we have time for other things too. No plastic surgery (though it has crossed my mind).

Someone commented earlier that they bought a big house and they were worried about what people thought about that. I plan to make a new thread to explore this question further. For your amusement, I may continue to write in this offputting style so that you can recognize me. You are welcome to comment or not.

Thanks to everyone for entertaining me the past 3 days.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So the personal attacks are continuing. I get it. I sound like a snob that feels superior to most people. This is very off putting. I will admit I am guilty as charged. I will no longer try to defend myself. But do keep in mind that I only say these things in this thread. In real life, I am a quiet, well liked person. I could be your co-worker or your neighbor. I have learned to keep my thoughts of superiority to myself. I love people, but I willingly admit that there are so many people that turn me off with their poor life decisions (bad decisions concerning love, marriage, divorce, children, career, school, etc. etc.) I feel that if people made the decisions I did, they would be in a happier place too.

I am also a Republican that believes that people should rely on themselves rather than the government.

Finally, I still feel like I would have received a little more support from the money and finance crowd. The relationship board people are probably a sad, depressed group of people with relationship problems. In my opinion, some of you envy me and most people don't care either way. Some will respond by saying that you pity me because I'm so boring or off putting or pick your negative adjective. You are entitled to your opinion.

In a future post, I will bring up another similar subject but write in the most politically correct way. I will try to get positive instead of negative feedback.

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I'm pleased to see that my post has generated some interesting conversation. The recent comments have been much more interesting and satisfying I think. Maybe Monday posters are better than Sunday posters.

Here is what I have learned from the 8 pages of responses:
1.) MOST people do like to discuss their wealth in DCUM. It is anonymous. This has generated 8 pages of posts in a short time. There are dozens of other threads where people state their incomes and expenses. People claim to hate boasting or discussing their wealth in person or on FB (like me - I avoid FB).
2.) People deny that their FB posts are about their wealth. I still disagree with the majority here, but some people at least partly agree that most posts hint at your wealth and your general happiness with your family and friends. One poster called FB "Facebrag" and that has stuck with me.
3.) People like attacking me (successful people). When I post EXAMPLES (some real, some hypothetical), people are quick to attack them.
4.) People admire the low key millionaire more than the extravagant one. I do too. This makes sense to me. I like the old money person who lives simply and focuses on education and charity. The few people who know about my wealth, think this is me. Most people think I am just middle class. My kids will likely be this way too. We don't spoil them and they are very grounded. In this thread, I have hinted at making a change to finally start enjoying my wealth a bit more (and that created some animosity). I am so happy and comfortable living simply, that I'm not sure how much added enjoyment I will get from luxurious living. It is an experiment for the next decade. We are big savers that started with nothing. We frown upon rich people that live paycheck to paycheck.
5) Most people claim that they don't envy the rich (which contradicts the FB study). But a few admit to being jealous. Of course, rich people have many problems too. Of course being happy, healthy and poor is better than being depressed, sick, and filthy rich.

So what have you concluded from this thread and from DCUM in general (regarding wealth, envy, and FB)?