Anonymous
Post 08/07/2013 13:28     Subject: What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
If he is not sharing the income made from him rental properties, your tenant contribution should not go into the equation. I would say half of mortgage payment and expenses would be fair.
Sabrina55
Post 08/07/2013 13:25     Subject: What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I feel oddly excited about this whole outcome. If DCUM in any way contributed to the demise of this relationship and his leaving the house for good, mission accomplished! OP, good luck. You are so much better off!


This.

Probably best for OP to have ended the relationship but now that we have "mission accomplished", what are those who urged her to end the relationship going to do to enable OP to meet the shortfall in whatever her SO was contributing?

Actions have consequences but she is left alone to deal with the consequences.


This is true, even though the contribution was not as much as everyone said it fairly should have been, it was helping. As I reflect on everything that had gone on over the years that brought on so much of this resentment, there are things that I just let go over and over, because I spent so much time trying to prove to him that I was not the type that needed or expected expensive things, or cared about money, this is obvious to everyone around me, but I do now really think he was able to make me feel that I was wrong so many times and horrible about myself and always trying to change things that bothered him, to make him happy, no matter what I did it was never enough and most times not even acknowledged. Everytime we went anywhere with the kids I paid for everyone, including him because he said he shouldn't have to pay to go to an amusement park or a kid related vacation since it is not something he wants to do and always made me feel like he was doing me a favor by coming with us. He went food shopping once or twice a month, I did the shopping for things needed in between, since he was paying when he went, he got to decide that my razors, ice cream I like, kids juice boxes and mini muffins etc. were too expensive and wouldn't get them and then made me feel horrible for asking for them in the first place. My kids are not big eaters and we are all actually underweight, so he might have a point if we just sat around and ate all day. There is so much more, I have truly tried to stick to the financial part of this. Does anyone think his % of contribution should differ if our income was the same amount?
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2013 13:20     Subject: Re:What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
This post makes me sad. You have your own home, dc's and in your 40's - you don't NEED this man. Please understand that you deserve someone that wants to be your partner in life, not a dependent.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2013 13:19     Subject: What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
Anonymous wrote:I want to see his email too.


And that's the selfish side of me, sorry. How are "you" feeling today, OP? Stay strong.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2013 13:18     Subject: What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
I want to see his email too.
Sabrina55
Post 08/07/2013 11:58     Subject: What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP please keep coming here and keep the conversation going. This forum can be quite resourceful. Do you live in the area?


Thanks, I do not live in the area. I am debating whether to post the email I was sent last night from him and my responses to it, curious as to how those responses would be.


OP, I totally want to see it. This guy is fascinating to me, as I could not personally imagine being such a manipulative asshole.

Also, why are you now posting anonymously instead of with the username you registered last night? That's the sort of thing that makes people call troll.


I didn't realize I was, I never logged off, it was the first time I posted today and I just clicked the link in an email letting me know someone left a response. Sorry, really not a troll (even though yesteday was the first time I have ever heard that expression)
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2013 11:50     Subject: What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP please keep coming here and keep the conversation going. This forum can be quite resourceful. Do you live in the area?


Thanks, I do not live in the area. I am debating whether to post the email I was sent last night from him and my responses to it, curious as to how those responses would be.


OP, I totally want to see it. This guy is fascinating to me, as I could not personally imagine being such a manipulative asshole.

Also, why are you now posting anonymously instead of with the username you registered last night? That's the sort of thing that makes people call troll.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2013 11:49     Subject: What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I feel oddly excited about this whole outcome. If DCUM in any way contributed to the demise of this relationship and his leaving the house for good, mission accomplished! OP, good luck. You are so much better off!


This.

Probably best for OP to have ended the relationship but now that we have "mission accomplished", what are those who urged her to end the relationship going to do to enable OP to meet the shortfall in whatever her SO was contributing?

Actions have consequences but she is left alone to deal with the consequences.


The odds are that OP will get back with him!
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2013 11:48     Subject: What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
Anonymous wrote:OP please keep coming here and keep the conversation going. This forum can be quite resourceful. Do you live in the area?[/quote

Thanks, I do not live in the area. I am debating whether to post the email I was sent last night from him and my responses to it, curious as to how those responses would be.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2013 11:40     Subject: What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I feel oddly excited about this whole outcome. If DCUM in any way contributed to the demise of this relationship and his leaving the house for good, mission accomplished! OP, good luck. You are so much better off!


This.

Probably best for OP to have ended the relationship but now that we have "mission accomplished", what are those who urged her to end the relationship going to do to enable OP to meet the shortfall in whatever her SO was contributing?

Actions have consequences but she is left alone to deal with the consequences.


Sigh. You are right. One of us has to move in with her.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2013 11:39     Subject: What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
OP please keep coming here and keep the conversation going. This forum can be quite resourceful. Do you live in the area?
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2013 11:36     Subject: What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I feel oddly excited about this whole outcome. If DCUM in any way contributed to the demise of this relationship and his leaving the house for good, mission accomplished! OP, good luck. You are so much better off!


This.

Probably best for OP to have ended the relationship but now that we have "mission accomplished", what are those who urged her to end the relationship going to do to enable OP to meet the shortfall in whatever her SO was contributing?

Actions have consequences but she is left alone to deal with the consequences.


Eh, she can get a roommate. And now she has one less mouth to feed.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2013 10:13     Subject: What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I feel oddly excited about this whole outcome. If DCUM in any way contributed to the demise of this relationship and his leaving the house for good, mission accomplished! OP, good luck. You are so much better off!


This.

Probably best for OP to have ended the relationship but now that we have "mission accomplished", what are those who urged her to end the relationship going to do to enable OP to meet the shortfall in whatever her SO was contributing?

Actions have consequences but she is left alone to deal with the consequences.


People have given her suggestions around that.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2013 10:10     Subject: What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
Anonymous wrote:I feel oddly excited about this whole outcome. If DCUM in any way contributed to the demise of this relationship and his leaving the house for good, mission accomplished! OP, good luck. You are so much better off!


This.

Probably best for OP to have ended the relationship but now that we have "mission accomplished", what are those who urged her to end the relationship going to do to enable OP to meet the shortfall in whatever her SO was contributing?

Actions have consequences but she is left alone to deal with the consequences.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2013 10:08     Subject: What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
I would get rid of him and quickly. Let him move in with his parents if that is the threat that he likes to drop.