Anonymous wrote:Seems like a small thing but some of you really make me want to setup a fund when my kid gets to HS to help classmates pay for events.

Anonymous wrote:I am missing two back teeth thanks to a time when we didn't have insurance.

Anonymous wrote:If you grew up in poverty, do you resent your parents for it? Why or why not?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Poster from the huge family in the Deep South again.
Was thinking about the points raised about the varying degrees of poverty and education as a way out.
One of my college roommates was the product of an affair (her mom had sex with a man in the neighborhood who promised to help take care of her other kids). Her mom was an illiterate, single mom who grew up sharecropping as a child.
She worked as a maid to make ends meet. The family had no power or running water. My friend remembers stealing water from the neighbors when they left for work. The kids would snag the garden hose and fill up the sink. They often went to bed hungry and cold. The man down the street never fulfilled his promise to help feed the kids and didn't acknowledge her as his daughter until he was on her deathbed. By then, my friend, who later taught her mother to read, put herself through undergrad, law school, and was working in the state AG's office let him know exactly where he was heading when he died.
For all of us, my friend, me, my DH (whose mother slept outside of the city's sole public school for gifted kids to make sure his name was first on the list for slots), education was critical. So was having parents who cared and fought for education and well being. We also had members of the community who took an interest and cared. That's not to say that always works or it's a magic solution. A childhood friend who also grew up poor had a brother who was smart and good hearted. He was shot to death at 16 when he tried to stop another neighbor from beating his wife and kids.
We were all the lucky ones who people looked out for and who made it out.

I was the first person in my family to graduate high school in the '90s. I went to college on full scholarship and then graduate school. I worked jobs and lived on $5 a week for food during my undergraduate days. I feel like it is getting tougher for education to be the ticket out for people. I find it heartbreaking that opportunity is getting harder and harder to grasp onto for poor kids.

Anonymous wrote:

No it's not a contest.

But frankly, I am tired of being seemingly surrounded by people (usually women) who put themselves first 99% of the time. It is very, very hard to be poor. I know first hand.

Anonymous wrote:If you grew up in poverty, do you resent your parents for it? Why or why not?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like a small thing but some of you really make me want to setup a fund when my kid gets to HS to help classmates pay for events.

Yes. But where/which one? Kids are zoned for Langley and go to a private. That hardly seems like an obvious choice. Anyone have a better suggestion for me?


PP with the swimming background: both kids heavily involved in expensive sports. This seems like a good place to put money that can help. Sounds like it helped you. Any thoughts?

Anonymous wrote:We grew up in the Deep South in the 80s and 90s and became poor when my dad lost his job and from then suffered from major depression and had spotty employment. My mom did the best she could and held down 2 jobs, but there were 11 mouths to feed and we lived in a 3 bedroom, one bath house in the 'hood.
When I was young, my mother would climb into the dumpsters behind schools and daycares to retrieve tossed out books and educational toys. She'd clean them up with bleach and water and use them to help teach us reading and math.
Both my parents were college educated and stressed education, so we were excellent students. God help you if you brought home mediocre grades. My parents did not play.
We were also talented athletes and dancers, something else my parents encouraged. We took cheap courses in dance at the YMCA and free classes in school. Coaches often gave us extra lessons for free. Most of us went on to play a sport or dance in high school and college.
My mother loved and loves public radio. She'd play classical music and Broadway show tunes while making a veggie stew or baking bread. To this day, I play NPR while cooking.
We never went hungry and came up with creative recipes out of the most meager ingredients. Huge pots of veggie stew, fresh fried fish with steaming piles of rice, fresh veggies from the market baked into casseroles. She bought day old bread at a bakery thrift store and these little gingerbread cookies with pink icing that we shared in the backseat of the car.
The librarian at the library up the road thought we were awesome. We were the only kids in the neighborhood who always came and always participated in the summer reading program. She would pull out discarded books for us and send them home for us to keep.
We spent summers at the community rec pool and were all on the swim team. Hell, there were so many of us we were practically the team.
Mom often took took us to the museum, which I loved.
When I grew older, I bought all of my sisters' prom dresses. We were recently able to make a huge donation to charity of these dresses. That felt great.
Every single one of us won scholarships and went to college (the youngest is a rising junior). Most of us have gone on to get graduate or law degrees.
We love sharing stories about how we grew up at Thanksgiving dinner.
Ok, that's enough...I'm misty now. Gonna go call my mama.

Anonymous wrote:Seems like a small thing but some of you really make me want to setup a fund when my kid gets to HS to help classmates pay for events.