There is no one type that has affairs. All kinds of people have them for all kinds of reasons.

The thing is, affairs need not be grand love stories, anyone settling for anyone or marks of great emotional flaws. Many affairs are just clearly episodes on the greater path of life that aren't meant to be lifelong or lasting things. You just gather ye rosebuds while ye may, cherish the moment and move on. And that's just fine. Both parties retain fond feelings of each other without any need for major upheavals.

Anonymous wrote:As a very young woman I had an affair with a married man. Then I did have the maturity to think about the harm to the wife - the children were grown adults. Now as a married woman, I wouldn't like to be treated that way. Ethics involved as a young woman was the husband (agent) was responsible for his marriage. Ethics I have now (agent neutral) we were all responsible for the potential to harm.

I'm a little skeptical of "my spouse didnt meet me needs crap." The only thing a crappy spouse means is you have the right to leave or be honest about your intent to step out. you have no right to be dishonest. dishonesty sets an unfair playing field. Dishonesty is the hall mark of getting what you want and trying to avoid and hide from the negative consequences of your choices, while not letting your spouse honestly see who they are really married to and give them the choice whether they still want to be married to you.

It seems that you switched your position because you have a asset to protect, which is very convenient.

As a very young woman I had an affair with a married man. Then I did have the maturity to think about the harm to the wife - the children were grown adults. Now as a married woman, I wouldn't like to be treated that way. Ethics involved as a young woman was the husband (agent) was responsible for his marriage. Ethics I have now (agent neutral) we were all responsible for the potential to harm.

I'm a little skeptical of "my spouse didnt meet me needs crap." The only thing a crappy spouse means is you have the right to leave or be honest about your intent to step out. you have no right to be dishonest. dishonesty sets an unfair playing field. Dishonesty is the hall mark of getting what you want and trying to avoid and hide from the negative consequences of your choices, while not letting your spouse honestly see who they are really married to and give them the choice whether they still want to be married to you.

PP, you have more than commitment issues. Either you try to "save" men or you really need to feel needed. I'm not saying that makes you a horrible person, however.

As a single woman, I am tired of being targeted by married men. There are single men if I want to have a fling. Have someone lingering around right now, married man, hoping that I take the bait. Fortunately, we won't be around each other for much longer.

Update. EA became a PA with whore with a baby on the way. I wish I could have been more angry to not have signed away my alimony.

I need to read back on a lot of the comments but a lot of them sounded judgmental so I'm assuming they are from wives of married men that have had affairs? That being said.. I'm single and actively having affairs with 3 different married men for 3 very different reasons.

1) can't discuss circumstances because of his job but as far as I know he is relatively happy in his marriage of 15+ years with 2 children. We don't discuss his wife. We are friends. We just happen to have sex because he's never been with a foreign woman before and I fulfill that role for him.

2) another one difficult to discuss because of his circumstances. He's been on the divorce track for 2 years now but the proceedings have stalled 4 times over custody of their child. Unfortunately for him they live in VA and the state favors women. Also unfortunate for him his wifes family is rich and is prepared to bankrupt him. I have been his first affair. We have never successfully had intercourse because his wife has torn his self esteem apart so much he suffers from sexual anxiety so I play with him a lot and talk to him. I'm hoping when he does divorce he will be able to move on with some woman someday that is better for him.

3) yet another difficult to discuss but he's a sexual dominant (not BDSM just dominant) and his wife does not enjoy sex. He said she acts though it is painful and rushes him to finish. He was not her first and I suggested that there was a possibility she was abused and he agreed but said she refuses to discuss it. I continue to talk to him about discussing therapy but it is hard cause culturally speaking therapy is frowned upon. I chose him because we are sexually compatible and have developed a friendship.

Of the 3 men I only have feelings for one of them... the first one. I do not have low self esteem. I'm an independent woman that people actually look towards as an inspiration and motivation for my accomplishments. I happen to enjoy sex and don't want the commitment that goes along with dating. If there is anything wrong with me I would say I have commitment issues.

I'm 17:24 above and every time I hear that robin thicke and pharrell song, I sing ' I hate these blurred lines' really loud ! Blurred lines indeed ..,

Anonymous wrote:Re:What type of women have emotional/physical affairs with married men?

http://www.buzzfeed.com/andrewkaczynski/here-is-the-woman-linked-to-anthony-weiner-in-sex-chats

"Progressive activists" who idolize Maddow and Olbermann, work as a field organizer for Obama for America and think that Weiner can “continue sending dick pics every single day for the rest of his life.” as long as he continues to legislate like he does.

Troll troll troll your boat

Re:What type of women have emotional/physical affairs with married men?

http://www.buzzfeed.com/andrewkaczynski/here-is-the-woman-linked-to-anthony-weiner-in-sex-chats

"Progressive activists" who idolize Maddow and Olbermann, work as a field organizer for Obama for America and think that Weiner can “continue sending dick pics every single day for the rest of his life.” as long as he continues to legislate like he does.

In a physical affair, it is clear when lines of fidelity are crossed. The line is often blurred with emotional affairs.

How many men participate in emotional affairs without realizing what they are? I think women realize the danger signs far before the men.

For the wife of the man who participates in an emotional affair - probably give him the benefit of shear stupidity and cluelessness as to what is taking place. The desire for a boost in his ego outweighs any capacity to fully understand the depths of hurt he is causing both women. He probably thought as long as he keeps it in his pants, than no harm, no foul.

For the husband of a woman who participates in an emotional affair - realize the true danger in that she is bonding emotionally to another man and she is mentally checking out of the marriage. I think woman realize what is going on much sooner than men and it is far more damaging to her relationship with her husband.

If you've been married long enough, you have highs and you can have some incredible lows. Like one of the PPs said, you don't exactly know what you are missing until someone else gives it to you. I enjoyed the attention and the emotional bonding with the other man. I didn't know what was happening at first because I don't think either one of us intended to become attracted to one another.

In my case, when it became clear the relationship was not supportive of either one of our marriages and I realized it fit the definition of an emotional affair, I walked away and ended things. In many ways ending the friendship felt like a breakup and it was hard for me to get over. Without him, however, I was eventually able to focus on my marriage work on what I was missing at home. I hope he was able to do the same with me out of the picture.

If I ever had a conversation with his wife, I would offer up this insight: The emotional affair was not a real relationship. It was a place we aired out our problems but did not solve them. A true relationship is the one you put the work into and fix things when they get broken. We both probably glamorized each other because we didn't have to deal with each other's crappy side or regular life. It wasn't real life and was never sustainable. If your DH is willing, focus on fixing the marriage and the other woman will never have room to exist.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The cheating husband is responsible for his actions. But, so too, is the woman with whom he is cheating. If I feed booze to an alcoholic for my own fun & profit, then I have some culpability. If the alcoholic then goes out, drives drunk, and kills someone; he should go to jail. But I have some culpability as well.

If a kid's home is wrecked by a cheating father; the blame is primarily on the father. But the other woman is not blameless in that situation. It was a foreseeable result that her actions would harm the child.

Oh, and this is an aside, but on various forums I've seen people talking about having sex with their "emotional affair." At that point, it's just an affair.

From your perspective, maybe. But realize the cheating spouse is feeding the other woman or other man a distortion of his/her married life.

In my case, the man portrayed his wife as abusive. I truly felt sorry for him and his children. Given the perspective he was painting, I thought the children would be better off without her.

I have to agree with this. I have had a married man chasing me for a few years now. Hes a very nice guy. I enjoy his friendship. He complains about his wife constantly. He seems horribly miserable. I'm sure a good amount is true.

However I don't go there. I love my husband and am not interested in having affairs. However I see how a woman cam get dragged into one hy a man who seems to be miserable in his sexless marriage always complaining of the misery he feels locked into due to kids.

Outto. Somebody just got left

Slutty ones! Bazinga

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone had an emotional affair and managed to work through it, hold onto a strong marriage, AND stay friends with their EA partner?

it's possible, but ea partner will fade away eventually.

Probably because it is a situation that causes both EA partners too much pain. You want a relationship together but know it can never be because of your individual circumstances. Reality has to take control at some point.

I don't necessarily think I had an EA, but I've been told it is...anyhow, I wanted very much to stay friends, but he weirded out on me recently. I'm the married one. I don't know what his problem is, he says he wants to stay friends-but moreso 'when the tide recedes' whatever the freak that means