Anonymous wrote:My son has never asked to be able to use the men's locker room. I doubt that he would be very happy with being made to go into the men's locker room alone.

To the best of my recollection, I don't recall having ever seen one of my son's male friends at the pool.
The only thing that would have been awkward for my son about using the women's locker room is if I were to make him take the pre-swim shower in the nude, or make him change out in the open. But I let him go into a toilet stall to change into his swimsuit, and he showers off in the swimsuit. After his swims he goes back into the toilet stall to change back into his regular clothing.

You need some serious help.

Listen. Every poster is saying this to you. It is NOT normal, healthy, rational, good for your child or anything else for your son to still being using the women's locker room at his age. You aren't protecting him from child molesters. You are crippling his ability to be independent and confident. God, I just feel so sorry for your son. I know you think you are doing what is best for him, but all this b/c you are worried he is going to get molested? Seriously. Please seek therapy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:naked bodies aren't weird. get over it. Tell him that some people don't like to be looked at when they're changing and tell him to try to look where he's walking only.

I have told him those things, and he follows those instructions. He handles things very maturely when he is in the women's locker room with his sisters and I.

He probably actually looks down in total embarrassment and shame, praying with every fiber of his being that the doesn't see a girl from his class in there.

There was one occasion this past school year that one of the little girls from his class was in the locker room with her mother. My son had his swimsuit on in the shower. The classmate and her mother were nude, but there was nothing at all awkward about it. Both the little girl and her mother spoke with him as if nothing was any different than if they were fully dressed. If the girl or her mother had seemed uncomfortable, I would have told my son to go to a different part of the locker room for a few minutes. I've spoken with the mother many times since that day, and we get along great.

My son has never asked to be able to use the men's locker room. I doubt that he would be very happy with being made to go into the men's locker room alone.

To the best of my recollection, I don't recall having ever seen one of my son's male friends at the pool.
The only thing that would have been awkward for my son about using the women's locker room is if I were to make him take the pre-swim shower in the nude, or make him change out in the open. But I let him go into a toilet stall to change into his swimsuit, and he showers off in the swimsuit. After his swims he goes back into the toilet stall to change back into his regular clothing.

I am glad you take some pains to make this less awkward for your son. How about the awkwardness of the other people in the changing room, including girls his age and a bit older who don't want to change in front of an 8 yr old boy?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's perfectly fine if a SN child over x age is accompanied by his gaurdian, Come on, do you really think he/she should go by themself?

-Singed by a 12 year old, sister of 2 special needs brothers, and one annoying sister

Very well said! You're a very mature and caring sister, you should be proud of yourself!

Special needs or not no male over six years in women's shower/changing room. Use the family dressing room or put on swim suit under sweats. Take sweats off in car. I've done this many times and it isn't difficult.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
An 8 year old boy is MUCH too old to be in a women's locker room where all the patrons are required to take a public nude soap shower, a 10 year old even more so. I would complain, loudly, to management, and probably say something angry to your face if it were a 10 year old. If you don't like/agree with the rules, fine--don't patronize that facility. But if you do, you need to abide by the rules.

Not to mention how awkward and weird this would actually be for a 10 yo boy (or 8 yo boy for that matter)...

I mean, really? Your 8 yo is fine with seeing all his friends happily use the boys locker room (which is consistent with what he does at school), but when he is with mommy he needs to use the girls' locker room?

How pathetic.

My son has never asked to be able to use the men's locker room. I doubt that he would be very happy with being made to go into the men's locker room alone.

To the best of my recollection, I don't recall having ever seen one of my son's male friends at the pool.
The only thing that would have been awkward for my son about using the women's locker room is if I were to make him take the pre-swim shower in the nude, or make him change out in the open. But I let him go into a toilet stall to change into his swimsuit, and he showers off in the swimsuit. After his swims he goes back into the toilet stall to change back into his regular clothing.

Eight years old is too old. If you are worried about the men's changing room, have the whole family change at home before you leave and change at home after you get back. I would complain to management but not to you because I would not want to embarrass the boy any further.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:naked bodies aren't weird. get over it. Tell him that some people don't like to be looked at when they're changing and tell him to try to look where he's walking only.

I have told him those things, and he follows those instructions. He handles things very maturely when he is in the women's locker room with his sisters and I.

He probably actually looks down in total embarrassment and shame, praying with every fiber of his being that the doesn't see a girl from his class in there.

Anonymous wrote:naked bodies aren't weird. get over it. Tell him that some people don't like to be looked at when they're changing and tell him to try to look where he's walking only.

I have told him those things, and he follows those instructions. He handles things very maturely when he is in the women's locker room with his sisters and I.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's perfectly fine if a SN child over x age is accompanied by his gaurdian, Come on, do you really think he/she should go by themself?

-Singed by a 12 year old, sister of 2 special needs brothers, and one annoying sister

Very well said! You're a very mature and caring sister, you should be proud of yourself!

Well said PP. Those adolescent girls must be so uncomfortable. And I say this as a mother of both a son and daughter - what she is doing is inappropriate.

Anonymous wrote:I'm the person that posted a few posts above yours about taking my 8 year old son into the women's locker room with my daughters and myself.

I understand that some people are not thrilled with an 8 year old boy being in the women's locker room. I'm certainly NOT trying to offend anyone!

But to be honest, I would much rather someone be momentarily embarrassed about a little boy seeing them nude than for my son to be molested in the men's locker room.

I have told my son not to stare at nude people while he's in there with us, and to be completely honest, he doesn't. While he is showering off he just talks to his sisters and myself. He's probably at least 3 to 4 years off from puberty. And I plan on having him use the men's locker room in a couple of years.

I'm sorry, but you don't seem to realize that for some 10yo girls, having a 10yo boy in the room while they are forced to take a nude shower could be almost as traumatic as actual abuse. It certainly wouldn't fly in a school for boys and girls of that age to be allowed, much less required, to take nude showers in the same room.

And if a girl turns away when your son enters, SHE IS BOTHERED BY HIS PRESENCE. But how many 10yo girls would have the courage to speak up about something she is already so embarrassed by? That's the ONLY reason no one has complained to you yet.

I don't much care about other adults in the locker room, but I certainly do care about protecting the other children. Which you clearly do not. I know the rules *seem* contradictory and unfair--they basically mean you can't take your opposite sex child to the pool between the ages of 6 and 12, but if you don't like it, find another pool with different rules or a family restroom.

Anonymous wrote:
An 8 year old boy is MUCH too old to be in a women's locker room where all the patrons are required to take a public nude soap shower, a 10 year old even more so. I would complain, loudly, to management, and probably say something angry to your face if it were a 10 year old. If you don't like/agree with the rules, fine--don't patronize that facility. But if you do, you need to abide by the rules.

Not to mention how awkward and weird this would actually be for a 10 yo boy (or 8 yo boy for that matter)...

I mean, really? Your 8 yo is fine with seeing all his friends happily use the boys locker room (which is consistent with what he does at school), but when he is with mommy he needs to use the girls' locker room?

How pathetic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a problem with boys five and under in the ladies changing/bathroom at the pool, but once they are over five, they're too old to be in the changing room with my daughter.

We have a rule at the pool and if the PP brought her 8 year old into the showers, I'd complain to the attendants to enforce that rule. Eight is way too old to be in the room where my five year old changes.

I'm the person that posted a few posts above yours about taking my 8 year old son into the women's locker room with my daughters and myself.

I understand that some people are not thrilled with an 8 year old boy being in the women's locker room. I'm certainly NOT trying to offend anyone!

But to be honest, I would much rather someone be momentarily embarrassed about a little boy seeing them nude than for my son to be molested in the men's locker room.

I have told my son not to stare at nude people while he's in there with us, and to be completely honest, he doesn't. While he is showering off he just talks to his sisters and myself. He's probably at least 3 to 4 years off from puberty. And I plan on having him use the men's locker room in a couple of years.

My god, this irrational fear that every time you leave your boy alone for - like - 2 minutes with other men he will be molested is just crazy. I mean, WTH is wrong with you guys? Are you really okay with - if effect - teaching them that every male that does not = daddy is a child molester?

naked bodies aren't weird. get over it. Tell him that some people don't like to be looked at when they're changing and tell him to try to look where he's walking only.
But it is kind of normal to look over at someone that is standing right next to you, whether they are naked or not...but especially if they are naked and especially if you are a curious little kid.

I think it's perfectly fine if a SN child over x age is accompanied by his gaurdian, Come on, do you really think he/she should go by themself?

-Singed by a 12 year old, sister of 2 special needs brothers, and one annoying sister