Maybe because my toddler is still little, I never focused on whether there was food for me. She's still sitting in my lap while I help her eat a cupcake, and if I want a bite too, I have one.

Her party is in a few weeks. It's post-nap time but definitely pre-dinner time. We'll have various healthy snack plus cake. There should be enough for adults, too. Enough for everyone to snack, but not for everyone to have a full and sufficient meal.

Anonymous wrote:The thing that I find so interesting about this thread is this. Of the approximately 80 parties I've attended with my kids, my observation is that the kids could care less about the food. They just want the venue, activity and playtime. When food is served, the parents spend the half hour nagging their kids to eat when all the kids want to do is continue playing. And, despite the fact that the kis eat very little, I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen kids meltdown during parties - and most of the time it was the birthday kid. So I have a hard time seeing the lack of a meal as being a substandard host for a kid party.

The lack-of-food-related meltdowns occur after the party.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't mind if hosts don't feed me when I attend a bday party with my child. It's a child's party, for the children. Just like I sit and wait whenever I take my DC somewhere (swimming lesson, soccer, whatever), I"m not expecting to be entertained or fed. It's about the kids, not me. The hosts don't need to cater to my every whim. What's next? "Hosts, I"m cold. Did you bring me an extra sweater? Did you bring extra socks for me to go on the bounce house?" By hosting a bday party for your child, you are not committing to meeting every need of childlike adults who may be in attendance w/ their children. Just my two cents.

Most people are more sociable though and the adults that stay are usually chatting and are entertained with each other's company. I would find it strange if you came to my child's party and sat in the corner like you would for a swim class. If one of the parents was cold I'd certainly offer a sweater if I had one to give and if a child was left out of the moonbounce because they didn't have socks I'd offer a pair.

Actually I'd offer you a sweater if I had an extra in the car if I was just another guest and saw you were cold. That is just kindness...not etiquette.

I chat with other parents and am sociable while waiting for my DC at swim lesson, soccer, etc. We have a good time and are entertained with each other's company. Still don't expect to be fed.

Anonymous wrote:I don't mind if hosts don't feed me when I attend a bday party with my child. It's a child's party, for the children. Just like I sit and wait whenever I take my DC somewhere (swimming lesson, soccer, whatever), I"m not expecting to be entertained or fed. It's about the kids, not me. The hosts don't need to cater to my every whim. What's next? "Hosts, I"m cold. Did you bring me an extra sweater? Did you bring extra socks for me to go on the bounce house?" By hosting a bday party for your child, you are not committing to meeting every need of childlike adults who may be in attendance w/ their children. Just my two cents.

Most people are more sociable though and the adults that stay are usually chatting and are entertained with each other's company. I would find it strange if you came to my child's party and sat in the corner like you would for a swim class. If one of the parents was cold I'd certainly offer a sweater if I had one to give and if a child was left out of the moonbounce because they didn't have socks I'd offer a pair.

Actually I'd offer you a sweater if I had an extra in the car if I was just another guest and saw you were cold. That is just kindness...not etiquette.

I have always indicated on an invitation what will generally be served so that guests can plan accordingly. We had a party one year with just cake and drinks because the venue had a very short time slot. I actually put on the invite that cake and refreshments will be served so it was clear and people could eat before they came.

I don't mind if hosts don't feed me when I attend a bday party with my child. It's a child's party, for the children. Just like I sit and wait whenever I take my DC somewhere (swimming lesson, soccer, whatever), I"m not expecting to be entertained or fed. It's about the kids, not me. The hosts don't need to cater to my every whim. What's next? "Hosts, I"m cold. Did you bring me an extra sweater? Did you bring extra socks for me to go on the bounce house?" By hosting a bday party for your child, you are not committing to meeting every need of childlike adults who may be in attendance w/ their children. Just my two cents.

As a guest, I don't mind no food parties, but I appreciate warning if the party includes some or all of a common mealtime (12-1 or after 5), because I was taught that it's rude to bring your own food to someone else's house/event (excepting severe allergies, etc.). However, I try to always have some snacks on me for my DS that would usually tide him over, and I would NEVER complain in anything other than a totally anonymous forum.

As a host, I do personally think providing appropriate refreshments is important to a good event. For me, that would be meal-appropriate food between 12-1 or after 5, and heavy snacks at all other times. If I selected a venue that didn't allow for food, or (due to budget reasons) a mealtime where I could get away with just cake (1:30-4:30), I would make sure to state so on the invitation: "cake and punch will be served" (assuming most people will get the implication that nothing else will be available).

For the record, I think this applies to ALL events, not just kids events. Its just good hosting. For kids parties, if they aren't drop-off, I would absolutely include enough food for the parents. For dropoff parties, however, I'd only include food for the parents if they indicated they would stay. (Though I always like to have a little extra food on hand--I'd much rather have leftovers than run out.)

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the poster above. I feed my kids before parties because they are too excited and distracted to eat a full meal and will then make up for it with cake. If they actually eat a slice of pizza before the cake that's just a bonus when the sugar crash isn't as steep.

Adding to my original post....

I have been to a kid's party that was smack in the middle of lunch hour (start at 11 and end at 2ish) and also about 40 minutes from my house. I assumed there would be some food if only just snacks but nothing was served and it was at a park picnic area. There wasn't even a blessed strip mall near by that I could sneak off to. We ended up having to leave the party early because I had low blood sugar and was starting to get shakey.

I agree with the poster above. I feed my kids before parties because they are too excited and distracted to eat a full meal and will then make up for it with cake. If they actually eat a slice of pizza before the cake that's just a bonus when the sugar crash isn't as steep.

Anonymous wrote:The thing that I find so interesting about this thread is this. Of the approximately 80 parties I've attended with my kids, my observation is that the kids could care less about the food. They just want the venue, activity and playtime. When food is served, the parents spend the half hour nagging their kids to eat when all the kids want to do is continue playing. And, despite the fact that the kis eat very little, I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen kids meltdown during parties - and most of the time it was the birthday kid. So I have a hard time seeing the lack of a meal as being a substandard host for a kid party.

Totally agree.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are going to a party from 12:30-2 and was told by the host there will be no lunch served. I was steaming. That is lunchtime, my dc will be hungry so I have to carry lunch with me for him. What are thinking.

they were thinking you could eat lunch at noon (what?) or eat on the way there, its called a drive-through. or if you dont eat fast food pack a little lunch bag with a sandwich and a cheese stick and an apple
what are you people going to do when your kids have evening activities when they are older? write the coach a note that snowflake will be late for practice due to a scheduled dinner time?

+1

If it is at a facility, like kids gym, or inflatable bounce place, the food is served the last 30-45 minutes. I think it would be more unreasonable to expect kids and adults to go from breakfast to lunch at 1:30 than to eat at slightly early lunch at 11:30. If it takes more than 30 minutes to get there eat in the car or be a few minutes late. I'm with the host that I would have assumed people ate lunch already. We have sometimes gone ahead and offered food anyway at a what would be a late lunch time but I do that more because I know dd loves pizza anytime of day.

I think food should be served at any party. I would probably order less food but still offer pizza. It doesn't cost much to order a pizza or two.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are going to a party from 12:30-2 and was told by the host there will be no lunch served. I was steaming. That is lunchtime, my dc will be hungry so I have to carry lunch with me for him. What are thinking.

they were thinking you could eat lunch at noon (what?) or eat on the way there, its called a drive-through. or if you dont eat fast food pack a little lunch bag with a sandwich and a cheese stick and an apple
what are you people going to do when your kids have evening activities when they are older? write the coach a note that snowflake will be late for practice due to a scheduled dinner time?

+1

If it is at a facility, like kids gym, or inflatable bounce place, the food is served the last 30-45 minutes. I think it would be more unreasonable to expect kids and adults to go from breakfast to lunch at 1:30 than to eat at slightly early lunch at 11:30. If it takes more than 30 minutes to get there eat in the car or be a few minutes late. I'm with the host that I would have assumed people ate lunch already. We have sometimes gone ahead and offered food anyway at a what would be a late lunch time but I do that more because I know dd loves pizza anytime of day.

The thing that I find so interesting about this thread is this. Of the approximately 80 parties I've attended with my kids, my observation is that the kids could care less about the food. They just want the venue, activity and playtime. When food is served, the parents spend the half hour nagging their kids to eat when all the kids want to do is continue playing. And, despite the fact that the kis eat very little, I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen kids meltdown during parties - and most of the time it was the birthday kid. So I have a hard time seeing the lack of a meal as being a substandard host for a kid party.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a very lovely birthday party recently for a 4 YO with lots of parents and kids and siblings invited over lunch time (10:30 - 12:30, I think it was). The venue didn't allow pizza, and the family ordered trays of food from a local ethnic restaurant with lots of choices for everyone of all tastes and allergies. They're not well-off, but they wanted to throw a nice party for their friends and kid's friends! So refreshing and such great hosts. I thought it was very classy and generous that they did this.

What kind of venue allows food, but not pizza?

http://www.collegeparkaviationmuseum.com/home.htm

In big, bold letters on the "additional info" flyer - also, no chocolate or anything else that might stain the carpets.

Anonymous wrote:"
My kids party was similar to this but they didn't go into the party room until 1:30. I didn't "choose" the time frame it was the only one the place had available. I think that is way to late to "wait" for lunch so I served a snack (fruit,cheese, crackers) to the kids before the cake. I also put a note in the invitation with this information. I hope parents read it and fed their kids lunch first. Not much more one can do to address the food issue. I've done pizza in the past and find I end up paying 50-60$ for pizza for the kids and parents and we end up taking most of it home and it goes to waste(kids-party 15-20 kids plus adults)"


PP Your birthday party was during lunch time. You should've provided lunch for those who were ok with late lunch. Your party planning puts some of your guest in awkward position of having to feed kids early. And if your party involved physical exertion potentially making kids sick.
Every party some leftover are to be expected, that should not be the reason not to serve. I've alway believed its best to have more than less for guests.

If the party started at lunch time, the guests probably started off hungry and left starving. So the pp thinks that it would be a late lunch so it is better not to serve lunch at all. Makes no sense.