Anonymous
Post 01/16/2012 23:03     Subject: please explain the "no plastic toys/no batteries" school of thought
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

Thank you. Seriously, I sometimes think I forget why people get so invested in other people's choices and this is a good reminder and explanation. This makes a ton of sense to me. While I don't think everyone on these boards or even this thread is clinically narcissistic, I think points one through three apply to many of us.


When people buy plastic toys made in china, it effects ALL OF US -- made from petrochemicals from the middle east as the poster said above from lead and cadmium tainted chinese plastic that will sit in landfills for decades to come. It's an environmental nightmare and if you care about the planet or your children, you would not be perpetuating this behavior over and over again.


Pipe down, perky, I'm on your team. Kay?
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2012 20:14     Subject: please explain the "no plastic toys/no batteries" school of thought
19:48, I love hamburgers, did lots of baby wearing, and we have a big screen tv, but I'm pretty sure I would get along wonderfully with you.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2012 19:48     Subject: please explain the "no plastic toys/no batteries" school of thought
Thank you to the posters who have so eloquently questioned why this thread got so vicious. I have made some parenting choices that were very important to me - I BFed my kids for 2 years or so each, we did not CIO, I'm a vegetarian, we don't own a TV,etc. on the other side though, there were some things that I didn't feel as strongly about. For example, we didn't do cloth diapers and didn't baby wear all that much. So I have throughout my parenting life (kids are now in elem school) felt judgement from both "sides" of the parenting spectrum (to crudely categorize, the APers versus the I was raised with plastic toys and formula and I'm fine set). It's a really difficult thing - as a PP said, I do feel very strongly that my choices are right for my family. But I don't know that they are right for EVERY family and would never judge people for making different choices that were all in the realm of "normal".

I learned never really to talk about these things even though I was really interested in them because if anyone thought differently, they would immediately assume I was judging them and get strangely defensive. So I just avoid those topics. But friends would come to the house and notice a lack of crib or me still nursing my 22mo or we'd go out to eat and I'd never eat meat. So my choices are there for others to see even if I don't mention them. And on the flip side, I never fit in with the AP moms either bc there were certain aspects of that culture that I didn't feel were right for us. It's sad to me that there was so much judgement.

We don't care about plastic versus wood so much, but we do much prefer high-quality, longer-lasting stuff that has long-term play value. The battery-operated plastic toys, in OUR experience, break easily and aren't played with for long at all. So we tend to avoid battery-operated. But we did have a plastic kitchen (fisher price) with plastic food that got a TON of use for years and my kids still play with suppose and Legos and those types of building blocks (also plastic of course). Honestly part of the reason we like high-quality is bc they last through all your kids and then you can still sell them on Craigslist when you're through!

Neither my DH or I are particularly creative people and I don't think my kids really are either, so I don't think it's necessarily contributed to their creativity. But they never say they are bored, are doing great in school, and are really good nice kids. All of that I have no idea if it was just luck or if it had any history in any of my parenting choices, but I'm glad I did things the way I thought was right for MY kids just in case some of it has to do with what great kids they are now.

But seriously guys, I swear. Just because I feel very strongly that certain of my choices were very right for me, it doesn't mean that I think your choices are wrong for you. I dot spend any time at all thinking about that. And I'm happy to go to your house and has the kids watch a movie and eat fruit roll ups and play with plastic toys if that's what's right for your family and if you're considerate of my choices too.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2012 18:03     Subject: please explain the "no plastic toys/no batteries" school of thought
Anonymous wrote:It's all about image, PP. Clearly used plastic toys are not acceptable. Heirloom wooden toys (complete with a lead appetizer) are the only "used" toys permitted.


I am certain no one who has replied to this thread has told any other parent what they can or cannot buy for their children to play with. You make the choice you are comfortable with. I know you were kidding, but really, I think most (maybe all) people were just stating their personal feelings.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2012 18:00     Subject: please explain the "no plastic toys/no batteries" school of thought
Anonymous wrote:

Thank you. Seriously, I sometimes think I forget why people get so invested in other people's choices and this is a good reminder and explanation. This makes a ton of sense to me. While I don't think everyone on these boards or even this thread is clinically narcissistic, I think points one through three apply to many of us.


When people buy plastic toys made in china, it effects ALL OF US -- made from petrochemicals from the middle east as the poster said above from lead and cadmium tainted chinese plastic that will sit in landfills for decades to come. It's an environmental nightmare and if you care about the planet or your children, you would not be perpetuating this behavior over and over again.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2012 17:57     Subject: please explain the "no plastic toys/no batteries" school of thought
Anonymous wrote:
However, it does burn me that people mock parents who are making the choices they think are best for my family. You really can't argue that, at least environmentally, the kind of toys at my house have a lower impact. It's okay if you don't think it matters, but you can't really dispute it. My toys are built to last, we pass them on to other families, and when we're done with them, they won't hang around a landfill for the next 3000 years, polluting your kids' planet.

So yeah, if pushed, I'll make a value judgment. But I don't do it unless someone sits there and mocks me for caring. Do you also mock people who pick up trash at the park?


AGREE WITH THIS POSTER. Why would you disparage a parent who is trying to do the right thing by their children and the environment??
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2012 17:52     Subject: please explain the "no plastic toys/no batteries" school of thought
It's all about image, PP. Clearly used plastic toys are not acceptable. Heirloom wooden toys (complete with a lead appetizer) are the only "used" toys permitted.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2012 15:41     Subject: please explain the "no plastic toys/no batteries" school of thought
If my kids mainly play with hand-me-down plastic toys is that considered acceptable (since it's good for the environment - better than buying new toys made from trees)? Or bad because the toys are ugly and plastic?
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2012 14:45     Subject: Re:please explain the "no plastic toys/no batteries" school of thought
sorry about the strange quoting, above.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2012 14:45     Subject: please explain the "no plastic toys/no batteries" school of thought
Anonymous wrote:
Most of us say we don't judge. But again, and obviously or we would not be making those choices, we believe that our choices are better choices. It's like when you feed your child X over Y. Maybe, to you, X is organic. So you think you're making the better choice. Or maybe, to you, X is actual food, not processed stuff. So you think you're making the better choice. Or maybe yous imply say hey, I don't do mcdonalds every night. You think that's a better choice than doing McDonalds every night, right? But that doesn't mean you devote a lot of time to other people's choices (or maybe it does?). For me, I do what I think is best for my family. I try to make the better choice according to my values. I'm not going to pretend that your values are the better choice or that it doesn't matter, because I personally think it does. But, if I come to your house, my kids will enjoy and play with your children's toys and you can be assured I won't give a second's thought to what's in your house (obviously aside for anything dangerous, etc). And if you come to my house, you can expect to have a nice time, our kids will play together, and the subject of toys and why ours are different will not come up unless you ask me about it. It's just a damn toy choice, not a manifesto for life.

However, it does burn me that people mock parents who are making the choices they think are best for my family. You really can't argue that, at least environmentally, the kind of toys at my house have a lower impact. It's okay if you don't think it matters, but you can't really dispute it. My toys are built to last, we pass them on to other families, and when we're done with them, they won't hang around a landfill for the next 3000 years, polluting your kids' planet.

So yeah, if pushed, I'll make a value judgment. But I don't do it unless someone sits there and mocks me for caring. Do you also mock people who pick up trash at the park?


I agree with this entirely. And, you know that no matter how many times you repeat this, you are talking to a wall, right? People assume that because you're willing to answer a question honestly and voice private thoughts and considerations on this board when asked about your family's choices, you must be an ass who's constantly both judging others and telling them about it. People who judge and talk about other people have a really hard time believing that there actually are other people out there who don't and assume they are constantly being judged and talked about themselves. Really, some people just have a hard time believing others aren't like them (for example, the person who suggested that others who posted on here that they are aggravated by the noise of battery-operated toys are just simply lying). Having grown up with a clinically narcissistic mother, I can tell you that there is nothing you can say to convince people like this that (1) there are other valid choices than the ones s/he is making; (2) people who make those choices don't do so to spite, insult, or denigrate him/her; and (3) most other people on the planet don't spend any time at all thinking about, evaluating, judging, or commenting on a single thing s/he does in her own life. And yes, the first reaction to any of these "challenges" by another person is to mock and degrade, because the only things worth doing in life are the things that s/he has chosen to pursue.


Thank you. Seriously, I sometimes think I forget why people get so invested in other people's choices and this is a good reminder and explanation. This makes a ton of sense to me. While I don't think everyone on these boards or even this thread is clinically narcissistic, I think points one through three apply to many of us.

I will say this (person you're agreeing with here). We were at a birthday party a few weeks ago and a couple walked in with their one year old. Wife says to child, so husband and a few other parents around could hear: "have fun playing with all these plastic toys." It was hard to interpret that comment as anything other than a slam against the hosts. But that's not the norm. I wouldn't think that most people would just come into the house and say something like that, even if they were thinking it, which is probably not typical. At least, I don't think it. Like you (poster above), my decisions really just apply to me. My husband is a vegetarian, I am not. He thinks eating meat is less healthy and frankly, unethical. But he's never given me much indication he thinks I'm "wrong" or "bad" for eating meat. I'm glad I don't spend a lot of time worrying about whether or not he is judging me. What a terrible way it must be to go through life that way!
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2012 12:28     Subject: please explain the "no plastic toys/no batteries" school of thought
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My children only play with wooden toys I carve myself out of wood from trees in our backyard. And only wear clothes made of wool made by our own family sheep.


How silly of you! Mine only play with toys made from petroleum purchased from the Middle East!


LOL LOL.... So funny when people try to turn this around and make parents doing the right thing for their kids and the environment into something to make fun of


I thought there were no judgments and that was just the "values" you are trying to teach your family and we were all singing kumbaya. See, the wooden toys people really are smug and elitist even though they pretend that they are open-minded.


Most of us say we don't judge. But again, and obviously or we would not be making those choices, we believe that our choices are better choices. It's like when you feed your child X over Y. Maybe, to you, X is organic. So you think you're making the better choice. Or maybe, to you, X is actual food, not processed stuff. So you think you're making the better choice. Or maybe yous imply say hey, I don't do mcdonalds every night. You think that's a better choice than doing McDonalds every night, right? But that doesn't mean you devote a lot of time to other people's choices (or maybe it does?). For me, I do what I think is best for my family. I try to make the better choice according to my values. I'm not going to pretend that your values are the better choice or that it doesn't matter, because I personally think it does. But, if I come to your house, my kids will enjoy and play with your children's toys and you can be assured I won't give a second's thought to what's in your house (obviously aside for anything dangerous, etc). And if you come to my house, you can expect to have a nice time, our kids will play together, and the subject of toys and why ours are different will not come up unless you ask me about it. It's just a damn toy choice, not a manifesto for life.

However, it does burn me that people mock parents who are making the choices they think are best for my family. You really can't argue that, at least environmentally, the kind of toys at my house have a lower impact. It's okay if you don't think it matters, but you can't really dispute it. My toys are built to last, we pass them on to other families, and when we're done with them, they won't hang around a landfill for the next 3000 years, polluting your kids' planet.

So yeah, if pushed, I'll make a value judgment. But I don't do it unless someone sits there and mocks me for caring. Do you also mock people who pick up trash at the park?


I agree with this entirely. And, you know that no matter how many times you repeat this, you are talking to a wall, right? People assume that because you're willing to answer a question honestly and voice private thoughts and considerations on this board when asked about your family's choices, you must be an ass who's constantly both judging others and telling them about it. People who judge and talk about other people have a really hard time believing that there actually are other people out there who don't and assume they are constantly being judged and talked about themselves. Really, some people just have a hard time believing others aren't like them (for example, the person who suggested that others who posted on here that they are aggravated by the noise of battery-operated toys are just simply lying). Having grown up with a clinically narcissistic mother, I can tell you that there is nothing you can say to convince people like this that (1) there are other valid choices than the ones s/he is making; (2) people who make those choices don't do so to spite, insult, or denigrate him/her; and (3) most other people on the planet don't spend any time at all thinking about, evaluating, judging, or commenting on a single thing s/he does in her own life. And yes, the first reaction to any of these "challenges" by another person is to mock and degrade, because the only things worth doing in life are the things that s/he has chosen to pursue.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2012 10:52     Subject: please explain the "no plastic toys/no batteries" school of thought
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My children only play with wooden toys I carve myself out of wood from trees in our backyard. And only wear clothes made of wool made by our own family sheep.


How silly of you! Mine only play with toys made from petroleum purchased from the Middle East!


LOL LOL.... So funny when people try to turn this around and make parents doing the right thing for their kids and the environment into something to make fun of


I thought there were no judgments and that was just the "values" you are trying to teach your family and we were all singing kumbaya. See, the wooden toys people really are smug and elitist even though they pretend that they are open-minded.


Most of us say we don't judge. But again, and obviously or we would not be making those choices, we believe that our choices are better choices. It's like when you feed your child X over Y. Maybe, to you, X is organic. So you think you're making the better choice. Or maybe, to you, X is actual food, not processed stuff. So you think you're making the better choice. Or maybe yous imply say hey, I don't do mcdonalds every night. You think that's a better choice than doing McDonalds every night, right? But that doesn't mean you devote a lot of time to other people's choices (or maybe it does?). For me, I do what I think is best for my family. I try to make the better choice according to my values. I'm not going to pretend that your values are the better choice or that it doesn't matter, because I personally think it does. But, if I come to your house, my kids will enjoy and play with your children's toys and you can be assured I won't give a second's thought to what's in your house (obviously aside for anything dangerous, etc). And if you come to my house, you can expect to have a nice time, our kids will play together, and the subject of toys and why ours are different will not come up unless you ask me about it. It's just a damn toy choice, not a manifesto for life.

However, it does burn me that people mock parents who are making the choices they think are best for my family. You really can't argue that, at least environmentally, the kind of toys at my house have a lower impact. It's okay if you don't think it matters, but you can't really dispute it. My toys are built to last, we pass them on to other families, and when we're done with them, they won't hang around a landfill for the next 3000 years, polluting your kids' planet.

So yeah, if pushed, I'll make a value judgment. But I don't do it unless someone sits there and mocks me for caring. Do you also mock people who pick up trash at the park?
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2012 10:24     Subject: please explain the "no plastic toys/no batteries" school of thought
Anonymous wrote:it limits their creativity


I don't believe this. Creative children find creative ways to play with any kind of toy. At least until you break out the video games. But when they are little the fact that it has batteries and makes noise doesn't stifle their imaginations.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2012 09:59     Subject: please explain the "no plastic toys/no batteries" school of thought
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My children only play with wooden toys I carve myself out of wood from trees in our backyard. And only wear clothes made of wool made by our own family sheep.


How silly of you! Mine only play with toys made from petroleum purchased from the Middle East!


LOL LOL.... So funny when people try to turn this around and make parents doing the right thing for their kids and the environment into something to make fun of


I thought there were no judgments and that was just the "values" you are trying to teach your family and we were all singing kumbaya. See, the wooden toys people really are smug and elitist even though they pretend that they are open-minded.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2012 23:02     Subject: please explain the "no plastic toys/no batteries" school of thought
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My children only play with wooden toys I carve myself out of wood from trees in our backyard. And only wear clothes made of wool made by our own family sheep.


How silly of you! Mine only play with toys made from petroleum purchased from the Middle East!


LOL LOL.... So funny when people try to turn this around and make parents doing the right thing for their kids and the environment into something to make fun of