OP, I think I can relate to what your partner may be going through. I'm an extremely extroverted person. And for me, that means that not much goes on when I'm left to myself. I can waste huge amounts of time. Then I sort of snap back into focus (and action) for social times.

I work, but have an interest in staying at home at some point in the future. I am very worried that I'd just veg out and get depressed, though.

In addition to investigating treatment for depression, it might be interesting for both of you to take the myers briggs test. Learning more about how you each operate could lead to some insights.

For me, I know it would be great to have my partner help me add structure to the days and weeks. Making lists together and then knowing that we'd be checking the items off together in the evenings. Creating a more socially interactive element to doing solo tasks. My husband is an introvert, and happens to be good at managing his time and getting things done, but he gets that I need certain things that he doesn't. I'm lucky!

Best of luck to your family in getting things back on track!

Anonymous wrote:"WOHMs (They hate their jobs but work because they have to. They secretly are jealous of SAHMs and wish they could do the same.). "

I never understand this comment. Did you grow up with the assumption that marrying to gain the ability to not work as a positive goal to have for your life? It seriously never even crossed my mind to have this as an ambition. I could never be jealous of a SAHM because it was not the vision I had for my life as an adult and I would not be happy. I would actually be jealous of working mom's if I felt pressured into staying home because my spouse had an inflexible job no matter how much they made.

I love my kids, but we never even had a discussion once about me not going back to work after each child was born. It was not even something we thought to talk about or consider.

Anonymous wrote:"WOHMs (They hate their jobs but work because they have to. They secretly are jealous of SAHMs and wish they could do the same.). "

Not all of the WOHMs posting on this thread work because they have to. Really.

I think she just meant the nasty comments from both sides come from SAHMs and WOHMs insecure about their situations, not that every WOHM who posted in this situation.

Anonymous wrote:"News flash here --- I'm not interested in competing with you! I'm doing life my way and you can do it yours."

Deal, so long as you don't claim you're a better parent just because you don't have paid work.

DEAL!

"WOHMs (They hate their jobs but work because they have to. They secretly are jealous of SAHMs and wish they could do the same.). "

Not all of the WOHMs posting on this thread work because they have to. Really.

Anonymous wrote:Yep these threads always bring out the feminists to tell you you aren't a good mother or role model for your children unless you are career driven. Oh and that they are better people, more competent and enlightened. Anyone who stays at home is weak, controlled by their husband and so in the dark ages that it isn't even comprehensible.

Yup and SAHMs never claim to be better mothers than WOHMs because they can focus on the kids without the distraction of earning an income.

"News flash here --- I'm not interested in competing with you! I'm doing life my way and you can do it yours."

Deal, so long as you don't claim you're a better parent just because you don't have paid work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Clearly, neither of you has my husband's job. Might you even consider that some people have jobs in which they are not able to take off the way you are as to? "

Then the other spouse is essentially forced to SAH or work pt, and hopefully the spouse with the inflexible job is being paid enough to compensate for the inflexibility.

Over $2 million per year. Yes, it's a worthwhile trade-off for us for a few years. I can still do some project work, but nothing that requires me to travel, work long hours on short notice, or work long hours regularly. Actually, I "could" do those things, but it would not make sense for us and he amount that we feel some parent should be available to our kids and for family issues. I'm no less competent than my friends who are currently working FT or PT because I stay home. We're doing what's best for our family, and what will allow us all the most flexibility in the near future.

I'm actually glad neither my husband nor I are slaves to anyone at work. No amount of money in the world makes up for the flexibility we have to raise our children.