LOL!!!!!

8:18, I totally agree! OMG!

21:15 and 23:48 are complete IDIOTS!!!!!

PP, get a life! You rock OP!

15:13, what the hell is your problem?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son just woke up from his nap, what should I do@!!! How many onsies does that mean he needs, after his nap? Also, if it helps, we have a dog. Is that why his chest is growing hair?

You should probably type a pleading pathetic post about what X month olds eat and the exact time to feed. You might not be able to figure out.
Does your baby poop too? I think there is a poop consultant that you can pay mega bucks for if you are too lazy to read books, trial and error, or common sense.

...by the way, all kids are the same.

All kids are not the same, cuz my kid is BETTER than yours!

Would all you sanctimommies just be quiet?? I am trying to drink my momtini in peace!

Hi Everybody!!

We're moving to DC soon and are sooooooo excited, although we're coming from a place where people are alway super, super nice. I'm a little worried that we won't fit in. Does anyone have any advice on getting my sweet first grader into this Beauvoir place? It must be the place to be. Do you think it would help if I call the director and tell her that I keep reading all about it on DC Urban Moms?

Thanks tons!

Susie

Finally my 2 month old went to bed and now I can post...after I specifically instructed the nanny not to let him nap so that he will go to bed early and I can have some "me" time. Do you think it's time to let her go? It's a tough decision, she has an Early Childhood degree.

Damn my new job that keeps me so busy that I can't watch my own kid OR post on DCUM during the day! Can someone offer advice about my DD? She's 15 months old and hasn't been doing very well in her martial arts class. Maybe I should switch her to a regular self-defense course?

It's hard for me to relate to a lot of these posts since my husband and I are average government workers and our children are of average intelligence.

NOT! Totally fake post! My IQ is 138, my husband's is 160. Our daughter is bright but only 130 IQ. Our son, on the other hand, has an IQ of 185. Which infant day care will get them on the right track?

I just had a baby yesterday and was wondering which playgroup would be right for us - Blue Igloo or Intown. I heard that paying to join a playgroup is the only way to go if you want dc to go to a feeder pre-school and onto the Big 3 (or is it 4) programs that feed and feed one through college. I don't want to mess up dc's chances by not starting in the right feeder system.

Oh, and would you suggest I wear my Channel suit with designer purse and shoes (I shop in Friendship Heights)to the playdate visit or just send my nanny? Does anyone know the nanny/SAHM/WM ratios for these places? That would be helpful in my decision. Thanks in advance!

My twin boys, Phil & Ted, and my daughter we affectionately call "Bugaboo" are learning the important value of materialism from me. I stress about my retirement account and when she sees my stress level, I read her the dismal quarterly report. I like to spend a lot of my time researching, posting & talking about brand names of baby items to find out which is best for each of my children. I know there has been a recent movement to limiting your life belongings to "100 things," but I was sure they meant to limit it to 100 things in your top drawer, which I probably do. Phil & Ted are 1 now, so I have cut out pictures of various emblems & signs so that they can refer to cars appropriately as Lexus, BMW, and Jaguar (that is what they see because we do not live in Rockville). It is silly to teach them names of actual things instead of brand names. I want them to know that the name of their school & the name of their products are what makes them who they are inside.

Anonymous wrote:My son just woke up from his nap, what should I do@!!! How many onsies does that mean he needs, after his nap? Also, if it helps, we have a dog. Is that why his chest is growing hair?

You should probably type a pleading pathetic post about what X month olds eat and the exact time to feed. You might not be able to figure out.
Does your baby poop too? I think there is a poop consultant that you can pay mega bucks for if you are too lazy to read books, trial and error, or common sense.

...by the way, all kids are the same.

Kudos to the OP and all contributors. This was great fun.

Yours,

Mrs. "My child was at a better camp, Am I pregnant?, I had the transformative birth, and my child read Harry Potter in the womb - still not telling how we got the book out."

(no sock puppet here!)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and while we're on the subject,

Giving birth was the most wonderful transformative experience of my life.

It was that experience that made me a real woman, and gave me the empathy and compassion to TRULY love a child.

It must have been a vaginal birth then b/c C-sections don't count as real births. I mean how do you become a "real woman" by having someone cut open your stomach? Nothing transformative about that!

You are an fu*&ing moron. Vaginal births are for animals. Elective c-Sections are the way to go. Check out the perfect round heads on my babies. You can see the pictures and a lot of other intimate details about my family on my web site. Really, check it out; i get a cut everytime I goad someone into visting my web site.

And I just don't understand why people hate me. I am so misunderstood. Maybe it is because I am so much smarter than everyone else. I can be nice; after all, sometimes I offer my discount coupons to people on this site.

I have had it with this site. Goodbye -- I am never coming back (I mean it this time)!

Love,
Amy

I think the fact that I got all the inside references in this post is evidence that I spend too much time on DCUM. I need help. Can you recommend a therapist?

Can you make it a group therapist?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and while we're on the subject,

Giving birth was the most wonderful transformative experience of my life.

It was that experience that made me a real woman, and gave me the empathy and compassion to TRULY love a child.

It must have been a vaginal birth then b/c C-sections don't count as real births. I mean how do you become a "real woman" by having someone cut open your stomach? Nothing transformative about that!

You are an fu*&ing moron. Vaginal births are for animals. Elective c-Sections are the way to go. Check out the perfect round heads on my babies. You can see the pictures and a lot of other intimate details about my family on my web site. Really, check it out; i get a cut everytime I goad someone into visting my web site.

And I just don't understand why people hate me. I am so misunderstood. Maybe it is because I am so much smarter than everyone else. I can be nice; after all, sometimes I offer my discount coupons to people on this site.

I have had it with this site. Goodbye -- I am never coming back (I mean it this time)!

Love,
Amy

I think the fact that I got all the inside references in this post is evidence that I spend too much time on DCUM. I need help. Can you recommend a therapist?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and while we're on the subject,

Giving birth was the most wonderful transformative experience of my life.

It was that experience that made me a real woman, and gave me the empathy and compassion to TRULY love a child.

It must have been a vaginal birth then b/c C-sections don't count as real births. I mean how do you become a "real woman" by having someone cut open your stomach? Nothing transformative about that!

You are an fu*&ing moron. Vaginal births are for animals. Elective c-Sections are the way to go. Check out the perfect round heads on my babies. You can see the pictures and a lot of other intimate details about my family on my web site. Really, check it out; i get a cut everytime I goad someone into visting my web site.

And I just don't understand why people hate me. I am so misunderstood. Maybe it is because I am so much smarter than everyone else. I can be nice; after all, sometimes I offer my discount coupons to people on this site.

I have had it with this site. Goodbye -- I am never coming back (I mean it this time)!

Love,
Amy

I am a SAHM and I am at my wits end. I have 2 month old son who is very colicky and rarely sleeps. My husband works all the time and doesn't help out like I thought he would. I have no time to clean the house, cook or even sit down for a 30 minute lunch break without the baby fussing. (my nanny doesn't either - poor thing is always on the phone! I hope she doesn't get cell phone brain cancer). I don't want to outsource any of my responsibilities since I will get flamed, but something has got to give. I gave it alot of thought and realized that if I just got a good night sleep, I'd be fine. Do you think it would be unreasonable to ask my nanny 9she is live-in) to breastfeed my son (only at night - I want to bond during the day)? Is that what a night nurse does? How much extra per hour should I pay? She just had a baby so I know that her supply is good.