Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am curious what people mean when they say they "max out" retirement. When you say you max out 401ks, do you mean you contribute the absolute maximum that you can (I think for this year, it's $16.5K), or do you mean you contribute what you need to maximize your employer match? To me, it would be the aboslute max. And when you say you "max out" retirement, what does that mean in addition to your 401k contributions? That you each have an IRA that you fully fund each year? That's what it means to me, but again, I just want to know if that's what other people intend as well.

To the pp above with $250k HHI and a $5k mortgage, how are you making that work with such a large margin to not feel pinched? I mean, I know the numbers work out, but you say you're also spending $10k a year on a house project, and have daycare costs. I know when our mortgage was at $4k on about the same HHI, we felt a little pinched in terms of having much extra cash after committing to retirement and college savings (and we have no car payment or credit card debt, just a small student loan). Do you think you are particularly frugal in terms of other household expenses?

I'm that same poster above ($250K HHI and $5K mortgage). We mox out retirement at $16,500 each in 401(k)s. I have some additional monies in an IRA from a now defunct pension plan. We're both 35, and have just over $400K in our 401(k)s.

We've always saved, so the $10K for house project and $5K for vacations may have come from previous years of saving. My DH's bonus fluctuates, but last year it was $15K (above the $250K HHI), so that goes straight into savings. Ditto for any tax refunds or anything of the like. And we funnel money away each paycheck right into savings.

I'm guessing others probably funnel more into college savings - right now, we're contributing $200/month, and we started with a few thousand in it from gifts. We'll up those savings as daycare costs drop. But again, we're also not committed to paying 4 years of private school tuition. We both went to private college, but got scholarships that made it cheaper than the state schools. We also assume that we'll have the ability to pay some tuition at the time of college enrollment.

Honestly, we don't really feel pinched. We cut coupons, but still dine out at expensive restaurants from time to time. We shop at mid-range stores - Giant and WF for groceries, Target for many household items, BR and Ann Taylor for clothing. Much of DS' wardrobe and toys are bought by family.

Thanks for your response. The $$ coming from savings explains a lot. I thought you were cash-flowing that amount every year, and that had me seriously wondering what we are doing wrong!!

FWIW, I make $83,000, a nurse, and am 49 years old. One kid. Public School. Hubby makes $125,000 same age..Federal.

Do any of these high earners ever see their children??? Ever?

No one we cannot afford Bethesda.

Clearly you haven't looked hard at the market in Bethesda lately. We have an HHI of 150K year with two in daycare, and we feel like we can afford Bethesda. Not the biggest grandest house in Bethesda, but there's home out there in the 650K range which would be completely reasonable on your HHI.

Anonymous wrote:Holy Moley! I am shocked at some of these high salaries. I can only assume that some of the women making over $150,000 are attorneys? Docs don't seem to be making much money these days, though they have scads more training than attorneys and take so much more risk.

FWIW, I make $83,000, a nurse, and am 49 years old. One kid. Public School. Hubby makes $125,000 same age..Federal.

Do any of these high earners ever see their children??? Ever?

No one we cannot afford Bethesda.

I'm not over 150K, but make 125K and work approx 32hrs a week.

Oops, I meant WOHM, not WAHM

Anonymous wrote:Just remember ...kids grow up in a flash. They need you. In the afternoon, after school, when they are sick, to see you in their schools,etc. I am a cancer survivor and cancer woke me up to the fact that none of us will live forever. Don't waste those precious moments with your children because you were slaving away at the law firm. Life goes very quickly and so does childhood.

Why post this? I get that it's a nice message, but you know it will just make many working moms feel guilty.

(I am usually on the SAHM side of the WAHM vs SAHM wars, but seriously, throwing cancer in is an extreme guilt trip.)

Anonymous wrote:how much do you think a dentist makes in this area with a small practice? say, 3 dental chairs ...

Too much. They can ask for cash upfront.

Just remember ...kids grow up in a flash. They need you. In the afternoon, after school, when they are sick, to see you in their schools,etc. I am a cancer survivor and cancer woke me up to the fact that none of us will live forever. Don't waste those precious moments with your children because you were slaving away at the law firm. Life goes very quickly and so does childhood.

Anonymous wrote:I am curious what people mean when they say they "max out" retirement. When you say you max out 401ks, do you mean you contribute the absolute maximum that you can (I think for this year, it's $16.5K), or do you mean you contribute what you need to maximize your employer match? To me, it would be the aboslute max. And when you say you "max out" retirement, what does that mean in addition to your 401k contributions? That you each have an IRA that you fully fund each year? That's what it means to me, but again, I just want to know if that's what other people intend as well.

To the pp above with $250k HHI and a $5k mortgage, how are you making that work with such a large margin to not feel pinched? I mean, I know the numbers work out, but you say you're also spending $10k a year on a house project, and have daycare costs. I know when our mortgage was at $4k on about the same HHI, we felt a little pinched in terms of having much extra cash after committing to retirement and college savings (and we have no car payment or credit card debt, just a small student loan). Do you think you are particularly frugal in terms of other household expenses?

I'm that same poster above ($250K HHI and $5K mortgage). We mox out retirement at $16,500 each in 401(k)s. I have some additional monies in an IRA from a now defunct pension plan. We're both 35, and have just over $400K in our 401(k)s.

We've always saved, so the $10K for house project and $5K for vacations may have come from previous years of saving. My DH's bonus fluctuates, but last year it was $15K (above the $250K HHI), so that goes straight into savings. Ditto for any tax refunds or anything of the like. And we funnel money away each paycheck right into savings.

I'm guessing others probably funnel more into college savings - right now, we're contributing $200/month, and we started with a few thousand in it from gifts. We'll up those savings as daycare costs drop. But again, we're also not committed to paying 4 years of private school tuition. We both went to private college, but got scholarships that made it cheaper than the state schools. We also assume that we'll have the ability to pay some tuition at the time of college enrollment.

Honestly, we don't really feel pinched. We cut coupons, but still dine out at expensive restaurants from time to time. We shop at mid-range stores - Giant and WF for groceries, Target for many household items, BR and Ann Taylor for clothing. Much of DS' wardrobe and toys are bought by family.

how much do you think a dentist makes in this area with a small practice? say, 3 dental chairs ...

I make over $150,000 (not much, maybe closer to $165K with bonuses) and I am a trial attorney. I am very fortunate that my firm has a relatively low billing requirement (125 per month) which is why I am not bringing in the super big bucks. But, it does afford me the luxury of leaving every day at 4:45 to get my kids from daycare. If I have a trial, I just work in the evenings after they go to bed. My husband makes the same amount and he has his own litigation practice (very small, 3 person firm) and he has the same hours and works at night as well so he can be home by 5:30.

I'm one of those high earners. Yes, we see our kids...

I would say that at least 4 weeknights out of every week, I am home by 6:30-7 pm. I sometimes do more work after the kids go to bed, but that is fine. I sometimes wish I could get home at 5ish but all in all, I feel like I'm not missing much in that extra hour (at least yet...).

Holy Moley! I am shocked at some of these high salaries. I can only assume that some of the women making over $150,000 are attorneys? Docs don't seem to be making much money these days, though they have scads more training than attorneys and take so much more risk.

FWIW, I make $83,000, a nurse, and am 49 years old. One kid. Public School. Hubby makes $125,000 same age..Federal.

Do any of these high earners ever see their children??? Ever?

No one we cannot afford Bethesda.

PP here: I'm 35, DH is 34. I should add that we do have expensive childcare (a nanny)...but also max out 401K and make eduction and retirement investments.

Me: $250K
DH: $180K plus guaranteed bonus of at least $75K

Total for 2010 was around $500K I think.

Current mortgage is $3K but we are moving in the summer (so oldest will go to a good public K). Mortgage likely to increase by about $2-3K. No CC debt; $15K in student loans. Right now we save roughly $9K/month...

Anonymous wrote:

I don't believe I have an obligation to fully fund my children's college education. .

You definitely don't have an obligation to do so. But the way that I think about it is, I am not sure what I would really rather spend money on. I wish our house was bigger and nicer, but we're not even home that much, so I don't think it would be worth investing more money in a place to live.

I'm the poster who does not feel obligated to fully fun my children's college edcation.

Both DH & I fully funded our own education. I went to Northern VA Community College for 2 years and transferred all my credits to William and Mary. I did a combo of grants and work/study to fund my schooling. I also waited tables Full-Time over the summer at a VERY busy Georgetown restaurant (Sequoia) and racked in the cash for the year. I met my husband while working at Sequoia and he was going to George Mason and paid for his college in CASH as he went along. We graduated with 5k in debt. I think because we were not given something for nothing in return, we are much better off for it.

It might be a cliche, but we both understand the value of a dollar because our parents did not indulge us. My DHs parents had the means to pay for his school, but his first semester, he got Cs and they immediatly cut his funds off. It sucked at the time, but I think our parents made us better people by forcing us to make adult decisions.

Personally, I think people who go to expensive out of state or private schools and rack up a bunch of debt are terribly immature and lack long term vision. I also do not think an ecuation that costs 100K+ has any more value than a community college to state school track and you might as well flush your money down the drain. If you live in Virginia, there are a handful of amazing schools one can attend.

I'm not saying I will not help, because I will if my children are serious about school. The help will only come in the form of loan repayment because I will not repay poor grades. I will not pay for a 4 year party. In that regard, I'm like an iron-fisted Chineese mother.