Anonymous
05/23/2026 10:19
Subject: Re:Boyfriend told me he'd leave if I'm infertile. I'm considering moving on
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I guess I’m somewhat confused- did he say he would end the relationship even if married or did he say he would end the relationship if you were dating.
If it’s the latter I don’t see what could possibly be wrong with that? You are dating, biological children are important to him, and you wouldn’t be able to provide them for him. I understand that it feels bad but if you love the guy would you also want to foreclose the possibility of children to him- something that he has expressed is very important to him? If anything the ability to clearly articulate what he wants is a greenish flag for future communication patterns.
When I was dating my now-wife I told her I wanted kids and she said she was unsure and I made it clear that if she didn’t want kids we probably didn’t have a future. She also got slightly annoyed at me about that but this is just a really, really important part of life. Being on the same page in terms of what you want is important.
Now if he said if you found out after getting married he’d end the relationship, yeah, he’s a scumbag and you should dump him. There’s a whole laundry list of things that can go wrong in life and sometimes things you really want don’t work out.
Are you dense? How will they find out if she’s infertile until they’re married and trying?
I mean….there are lots of ways?
A third of couples with infertility have no explanation for it.... And relatively common things like endometriosis can only be diagnosed with surgery.
Anonymous
05/23/2026 10:10
Subject: Re:Boyfriend told me he'd leave if I'm infertile. I'm considering moving on
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I guess I’m somewhat confused- did he say he would end the relationship even if married or did he say he would end the relationship if you were dating.
If it’s the latter I don’t see what could possibly be wrong with that? You are dating, biological children are important to him, and you wouldn’t be able to provide them for him. I understand that it feels bad but if you love the guy would you also want to foreclose the possibility of children to him- something that he has expressed is very important to him? If anything the ability to clearly articulate what he wants is a greenish flag for future communication patterns.
When I was dating my now-wife I told her I wanted kids and she said she was unsure and I made it clear that if she didn’t want kids we probably didn’t have a future. She also got slightly annoyed at me about that but this is just a really, really important part of life. Being on the same page in terms of what you want is important.
Now if he said if you found out after getting married he’d end the relationship, yeah, he’s a scumbag and you should dump him. There’s a whole laundry list of things that can go wrong in life and sometimes things you really want don’t work out.
Are you dense? How will they find out if she’s infertile until they’re married and trying?
I mean….there are lots of ways?
Anonymous
05/23/2026 09:45
Subject: Re:Boyfriend told me he'd leave if I'm infertile. I'm considering moving on
Anonymous wrote:I guess I’m somewhat confused- did he say he would end the relationship even if married or did he say he would end the relationship if you were dating.
If it’s the latter I don’t see what could possibly be wrong with that? You are dating, biological children are important to him, and you wouldn’t be able to provide them for him. I understand that it feels bad but if you love the guy would you also want to foreclose the possibility of children to him- something that he has expressed is very important to him? If anything the ability to clearly articulate what he wants is a greenish flag for future communication patterns.
When I was dating my now-wife I told her I wanted kids and she said she was unsure and I made it clear that if she didn’t want kids we probably didn’t have a future. She also got slightly annoyed at me about that but this is just a really, really important part of life. Being on the same page in terms of what you want is important.
Now if he said if you found out after getting married he’d end the relationship, yeah, he’s a scumbag and you should dump him. There’s a whole laundry list of things that can go wrong in life and sometimes things you really want don’t work out.
Are you dense? How will they find out if she’s infertile until they’re married and trying?
Anonymous
05/23/2026 09:35
Subject: Re:Boyfriend told me he'd leave if I'm infertile. I'm considering moving on
Same poster-
To put a finer point on it- if I was dating someone who was really passionate about wanting to have children and I had had testicular cancer or something and so was infertile, I don’t see why it would be a problem for her to dump me. And, in fact, I would want her to be able to have what she wants out of life and from the outside I would also advise her to dump me. What’s wrong with that? One of the reasons people get married is specifically to have children so valuing that makes a ton of sense. It doesn’t mean that’s the only thing you care about but it’s an important one!
To put a finer point on it- if I was dating someone who was really passionate about wanting to have children and I had had testicular cancer or something and so was infertile, I don’t see why it would be a problem for her to dump me. And, in fact, I would want her to be able to have what she wants out of life and from the outside I would also advise her to dump me. What’s wrong with that? One of the reasons people get married is specifically to have children so valuing that makes a ton of sense. It doesn’t mean that’s the only thing you care about but it’s an important one!
Anonymous
05/23/2026 09:31
Subject: Re:Boyfriend told me he'd leave if I'm infertile. I'm considering moving on
I guess I’m somewhat confused- did he say he would end the relationship even if married or did he say he would end the relationship if you were dating.
If it’s the latter I don’t see what could possibly be wrong with that? You are dating, biological children are important to him, and you wouldn’t be able to provide them for him. I understand that it feels bad but if you love the guy would you also want to foreclose the possibility of children to him- something that he has expressed is very important to him? If anything the ability to clearly articulate what he wants is a greenish flag for future communication patterns.
When I was dating my now-wife I told her I wanted kids and she said she was unsure and I made it clear that if she didn’t want kids we probably didn’t have a future. She also got slightly annoyed at me about that but this is just a really, really important part of life. Being on the same page in terms of what you want is important.
Now if he said if you found out after getting married he’d end the relationship, yeah, he’s a scumbag and you should dump him. There’s a whole laundry list of things that can go wrong in life and sometimes things you really want don’t work out.
If it’s the latter I don’t see what could possibly be wrong with that? You are dating, biological children are important to him, and you wouldn’t be able to provide them for him. I understand that it feels bad but if you love the guy would you also want to foreclose the possibility of children to him- something that he has expressed is very important to him? If anything the ability to clearly articulate what he wants is a greenish flag for future communication patterns.
When I was dating my now-wife I told her I wanted kids and she said she was unsure and I made it clear that if she didn’t want kids we probably didn’t have a future. She also got slightly annoyed at me about that but this is just a really, really important part of life. Being on the same page in terms of what you want is important.
Now if he said if you found out after getting married he’d end the relationship, yeah, he’s a scumbag and you should dump him. There’s a whole laundry list of things that can go wrong in life and sometimes things you really want don’t work out.
Anonymous
05/23/2026 06:54
Subject: Boyfriend told me he'd leave if I'm infertile. I'm considering moving on
25 years ago I asked my then boyfriend if he wanted to have kids and he said yes. I told him I didn't and he said something like okay, i guess we won't have kids. We got married and he never pushed or asked, not once. I eventually changed my mind and he is the dad to two teenagers.
Anonymous
05/23/2026 06:32
Subject: Boyfriend told me he'd leave if I'm infertile. I'm considering moving on
What if he's the one who is infertile?? Anyway,dump him.
Anonymous
05/23/2026 03:37
Subject: Boyfriend told me he'd leave if I'm infertile. I'm considering moving on
Anonymous wrote:Flip the script. How many women leave a relationship with a man who doesn't want to reproduce?
And how many men end relationships because she wants kids?
Children are a deal breaker for many.
What's your point? If they are incompatible, then they are incompatible. Genders aren't relevant.
Nobody is suggesting they need a lawyer, except that one guy. They can just break up. That's fine.
Anonymous
05/23/2026 01:45
Subject: Boyfriend told me he'd leave if I'm infertile. I'm considering moving on
Flip the script. How many women leave a relationship with a man who doesn't want to reproduce?
And how many men end relationships because she wants kids?
Children are a deal breaker for many.
And how many men end relationships because she wants kids?
Children are a deal breaker for many.
Anonymous
05/22/2026 22:48
Subject: Boyfriend told me he'd leave if I'm infertile. I'm considering moving on
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I wonder if OP would stay with someone who couldn't earn anymore or got impotent.
It’s very common for men to dump their partners after a cancer diagnosis, so much so that the doctors office will often mention this. Women are more likely to stick around.
True and also true that its very common for women to dump men if they can't earn or have ADHD so can't juggle chores.
Ah yes, the well known lack of effective treatments and therapies for ADHD. Oh, woe is men! Won't someone think of the men! Alas, the virtuous men left shivering and pathetic in the cold, with no hope of surcease.
Anonymous
05/22/2026 22:37
Subject: Boyfriend told me he'd leave if I'm infertile. I'm considering moving on
He doesn’t love you. Time to move on.
Anonymous
05/22/2026 22:23
Subject: Boyfriend told me he'd leave if I'm infertile. I'm considering moving on
How old are you? This relationship ends tonight. You don’t want it to end at a time not of your choosing and when you are way invested
Anonymous
05/22/2026 22:06
Subject: Boyfriend told me he'd leave if I'm infertile. I'm considering moving on
Ideally, if two people love each other and care enough, they go through thick and thin with each other. However, most people aren't that committed during dating. That's why its called dating, not marriage because they are learning about each other and deciding if they want to stay together or not. If they had been living together for a decade and were not the marriage and family type, that would be a different story.
Anonymous
05/22/2026 22:01
Subject: Boyfriend told me he'd leave if I'm infertile. I'm considering moving on
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This forum is so quick to get knives out and getting shark lawyers on speed dial.
Why would you need a lawyer to stop dating someone?
This is standard procedure on relationship forum, not necessarily specific for this post.
Anonymous
05/22/2026 21:59
Subject: Boyfriend told me he'd leave if I'm infertile. I'm considering moving on
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I wonder if OP would stay with someone who couldn't earn anymore or got impotent.
It’s very common for men to dump their partners after a cancer diagnosis, so much so that the doctors office will often mention this. Women are more likely to stick around.
True and also true that its very common for women to dump men if they can't earn or have ADHD so can't juggle chores.