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Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

Ok? That doesn’t mean she had earned extra perks for volunteering or that she deserves front row seats for her family and a free DVD. If you’re being compensated its not volunteering.

It is not "extra perks" or "compensation". It is a courtesy and acknowledgement by school that volunteers do a lot of heavy lifting for the entire school. Lazy entitled parents who are just takers and are uncouth enough to question this are just POS.

… you’re getting a freebie. You can call it a “courtesy copy” or “acknowledgement” but you’re asking for something other people either don’t get or pay for.

I do plenty of volunteering, but would never think of taking something for free to “recognize” my work. That’s what’s uncouth.

I don't think you do any volunteering. No one is TAKING something for free. The school decides to acknowledge the unpaid work of volunteers because without them the school would not be able to put that show. You seem to be totally unaware of the amount of work that gets done by volunteers. You are the classic example of a "taker" parent. And that is why you are triggered because FOMO.

Anyways...keep on getting triggered. Your petty thinking is not going to change anything and it is amusing to think that you will continue to get triggered by your own thoughts.

The school didn’t decide anything. The poster said she takes four seats in the front row. That’s…taking. If the school wanted to recognize her, they would put little signs in it that said “save for the family of Mrs. Smith, the bestest volunteer in the whole wide world”

Dp. I think that is what usually happens. The school puts up a reserved sign if they do this at all.

And yet that isn’t what’s happening in the case of the poster who says she just reserved seats for her family. There’s no effort by the school to recognize her. She’s just taking something to recognize herself.

Sorry- me again- I’m back and missed these comments because I was backstage at the drama club rehearsal , no joke hah. Anyways many front row seats are saved by volunteers who show up early, it’s fine, there are hundreds of seats and the auditorium is usually only half full. It’s never standing room only. And I don’t care if you think I shouldn’t. The first year I came to do the kids mics backstage , the director/ teacher was like don’t forget to reserve a couple seats for your husband and other kids! It’s first come first serve for seats and that’s the one upside of being stuck back here doing mics and costume changes! Plenty of moms dropped their kids off tonight and picked them up later after going to the restaurant Nextdoor for apps and drinks actually. They could have volunteered back here with me and chose not to. They’re the types to possibly complain that my husband is sitting up front. But they also don’t help out. And remember my kids get no special treatment and shouldn’t get any! The post about the kid getting the lead role because his parents funded the play- gross. My kids have played such distinguished roles like “Oompa Loompa number 6” , and “snow chorus member” in recent productions. As they should. They’re not great actors 😂

So full circle: your “nuance” is you think there shouldn’t be any special treatment except when its for your family and then it’s fine.

If that’s your takeaway, fine. I’ll still hot glue your daughter’s snow chorus costume decorations on before the show because they fell off. I’ll still hook up your son’s microphone battery pack. I’ll still sweep up all of the snow chorus confetti and glitter after the show as you guys go out for ice cream with your kids whose lines I whispered to them before they went on stage. Oh by the way the after performance clean up is a volunteer slot that also no one ever takes, and I do it since I’m already back there. And I see all of you leaving with your kiddos to go out to celebrate. So don’t tell me you don’t have time or that you can’t, and you won’t be missing the show to do this part either . You don’t want to. And that’s ok because it’s not mandatory! It’s a volunteer position! I do it because I don’t want the teacher/ director to stay late to do it, and get burned out, and decide not to do the show next year since no parents ever help her. So, you’re welcome! And remember, I never ask for or expect special treatment for my kids. You’re upset that I put my jacket down on a first come first serve seat when I got here first. Because I’m helping out.

Seats.

You’re not doing any of this for my kid, we do theater in a program outside school which doesn’t rely in volunteers. Just know that there is always the option to volunteer and *not* take something “because I’m helping out”.

So if you show up first you wouldn’t save the seat next to you for your husband? You’d be like sorry I don’t believe in saving seats? I call BS.

If I’m sitting there? Sure. I wouldn’t save five front and center seats (grandparents and siblings) for people who were arriving three hours later.

I’m the person who runs the book sale— I also don’t help myself to books and justify it “because I’m helping out”

No, but if the book fair only had 5 copies of the most popular new book that was out of stock everywhere else, and you were the one arriving early to open up the book fair and set the tables up as the volunteer, and you rang up one of those books for your own kids as the first customer as soon as the fair officially opened, that would be totally legit. First come first served, and you were there first.

I’d agree with this.
I run the uniform sale. If someone donates a school sweater in good shape that’s my kids size, I’m on that. I’m not going to wait and see if someone else wants it. I spend hours folding, sorting and hanging up clothes including tons of junk clothes that I have to throw out or truck to goodwill (someone put their daughters old UNDERWEAR in with her jumpers! Plus tap shoes, cheer poms, expensive coats…all manner of odds and ends.)

Right! And I wouldn’t be greedy- like I wouldn’t take every single size 10 sweater in good condition- nor would I reserve 20 seats for not just husband and kids but also friends of my kid, other families I know, etc. Someone just has a weird vendetta against auditorium seats I think.

Seats for grandparents… used uniforms… “volunteers” sound like a greedy bunch who absolutely are in it for themselves and not anyone else.

Compared to what? We already know the people who don't volunteer aren't in it for anyone including their own. So what if someone wants to help backstage because their kid is in the play. It also happens to benefit the other kids as well. All the people sitting out don't help either their kid or anyone else's.

Compared to volunteers who don’t take things?

A parent without free time who doesn’t teach their kid its ok to take “freebies” is doing more for the community than you are.

lol who is taking a freebie? The examples have been taking a first come first served auditorium seat for their husband and child, buying a book as soon as the book fair opens, and buying a used uniform as soon as the uniform sale starts.

Anonymous wrote:I am the child of poor immigrants. My teachers loved me and treated me very well even though my parents never came to the school.

I’m now very involved at the school. I have three very different children. I think there is very slight differences in maybe my child might be better known because the school
Knows me.

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Anonymous wrote:LOL. Loving how the poors are triggered.

We do not live in a socialist country. We live in effing United States of America. The poors can choose to leave.

Poor or not, we're all free to dislike you.

Ditto. Back at you, cupcake!!

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Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

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Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

Ok? That doesn’t mean she had earned extra perks for volunteering or that she deserves front row seats for her family and a free DVD. If you’re being compensated its not volunteering.

It is not "extra perks" or "compensation". It is a courtesy and acknowledgement by school that volunteers do a lot of heavy lifting for the entire school. Lazy entitled parents who are just takers and are uncouth enough to question this are just POS.

… you’re getting a freebie. You can call it a “courtesy copy” or “acknowledgement” but you’re asking for something other people either don’t get or pay for.

I do plenty of volunteering, but would never think of taking something for free to “recognize” my work. That’s what’s uncouth.

I don't think you do any volunteering. No one is TAKING something for free. The school decides to acknowledge the unpaid work of volunteers because without them the school would not be able to put that show. You seem to be totally unaware of the amount of work that gets done by volunteers. You are the classic example of a "taker" parent. And that is why you are triggered because FOMO.

Anyways...keep on getting triggered. Your petty thinking is not going to change anything and it is amusing to think that you will continue to get triggered by your own thoughts.

The school didn’t decide anything. The poster said she takes four seats in the front row. That’s…taking. If the school wanted to recognize her, they would put little signs in it that said “save for the family of Mrs. Smith, the bestest volunteer in the whole wide world”

Dp. I think that is what usually happens. The school puts up a reserved sign if they do this at all.

And yet that isn’t what’s happening in the case of the poster who says she just reserved seats for her family. There’s no effort by the school to recognize her. She’s just taking something to recognize herself.

Sorry- me again- I’m back and missed these comments because I was backstage at the drama club rehearsal , no joke hah. Anyways many front row seats are saved by volunteers who show up early, it’s fine, there are hundreds of seats and the auditorium is usually only half full. It’s never standing room only. And I don’t care if you think I shouldn’t. The first year I came to do the kids mics backstage , the director/ teacher was like don’t forget to reserve a couple seats for your husband and other kids! It’s first come first serve for seats and that’s the one upside of being stuck back here doing mics and costume changes! Plenty of moms dropped their kids off tonight and picked them up later after going to the restaurant Nextdoor for apps and drinks actually. They could have volunteered back here with me and chose not to. They’re the types to possibly complain that my husband is sitting up front. But they also don’t help out. And remember my kids get no special treatment and shouldn’t get any! The post about the kid getting the lead role because his parents funded the play- gross. My kids have played such distinguished roles like “Oompa Loompa number 6” , and “snow chorus member” in recent productions. As they should. They’re not great actors 😂

So full circle: your “nuance” is you think there shouldn’t be any special treatment except when its for your family and then it’s fine.

If that’s your takeaway, fine. I’ll still hot glue your daughter’s snow chorus costume decorations on before the show because they fell off. I’ll still hook up your son’s microphone battery pack. I’ll still sweep up all of the snow chorus confetti and glitter after the show as you guys go out for ice cream with your kids whose lines I whispered to them before they went on stage. Oh by the way the after performance clean up is a volunteer slot that also no one ever takes, and I do it since I’m already back there. And I see all of you leaving with your kiddos to go out to celebrate. So don’t tell me you don’t have time or that you can’t, and you won’t be missing the show to do this part either . You don’t want to. And that’s ok because it’s not mandatory! It’s a volunteer position! I do it because I don’t want the teacher/ director to stay late to do it, and get burned out, and decide not to do the show next year since no parents ever help her. So, you’re welcome! And remember, I never ask for or expect special treatment for my kids. You’re upset that I put my jacket down on a first come first serve seat when I got here first. Because I’m helping out.

Seats.

You’re not doing any of this for my kid, we do theater in a program outside school which doesn’t rely in volunteers. Just know that there is always the option to volunteer and *not* take something “because I’m helping out”.

So if you show up first you wouldn’t save the seat next to you for your husband? You’d be like sorry I don’t believe in saving seats? I call BS.

If I’m sitting there? Sure. I wouldn’t save five front and center seats (grandparents and siblings) for people who were arriving three hours later.

I’m the person who runs the book sale— I also don’t help myself to books and justify it “because I’m helping out”

No, but if the book fair only had 5 copies of the most popular new book that was out of stock everywhere else, and you were the one arriving early to open up the book fair and set the tables up as the volunteer, and you rang up one of those books for your own kids as the first customer as soon as the fair officially opened, that would be totally legit. First come first served, and you were there first.

I’d agree with this.
I run the uniform sale. If someone donates a school sweater in good shape that’s my kids size, I’m on that. I’m not going to wait and see if someone else wants it. I spend hours folding, sorting and hanging up clothes including tons of junk clothes that I have to throw out or truck to goodwill (someone put their daughters old UNDERWEAR in with her jumpers! Plus tap shoes, cheer poms, expensive coats…all manner of odds and ends.)

Right! And I wouldn’t be greedy- like I wouldn’t take every single size 10 sweater in good condition- nor would I reserve 20 seats for not just husband and kids but also friends of my kid, other families I know, etc. Someone just has a weird vendetta against auditorium seats I think.

Seats for grandparents… used uniforms… “volunteers” sound like a greedy bunch who absolutely are in it for themselves and not anyone else.

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Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

Ok? That doesn’t mean she had earned extra perks for volunteering or that she deserves front row seats for her family and a free DVD. If you’re being compensated its not volunteering.

It is not "extra perks" or "compensation". It is a courtesy and acknowledgement by school that volunteers do a lot of heavy lifting for the entire school. Lazy entitled parents who are just takers and are uncouth enough to question this are just POS.

… you’re getting a freebie. You can call it a “courtesy copy” or “acknowledgement” but you’re asking for something other people either don’t get or pay for.

I do plenty of volunteering, but would never think of taking something for free to “recognize” my work. That’s what’s uncouth.

I don't think you do any volunteering. No one is TAKING something for free. The school decides to acknowledge the unpaid work of volunteers because without them the school would not be able to put that show. You seem to be totally unaware of the amount of work that gets done by volunteers. You are the classic example of a "taker" parent. And that is why you are triggered because FOMO.

Anyways...keep on getting triggered. Your petty thinking is not going to change anything and it is amusing to think that you will continue to get triggered by your own thoughts.

The school didn’t decide anything. The poster said she takes four seats in the front row. That’s…taking. If the school wanted to recognize her, they would put little signs in it that said “save for the family of Mrs. Smith, the bestest volunteer in the whole wide world”

Dp. I think that is what usually happens. The school puts up a reserved sign if they do this at all.

And yet that isn’t what’s happening in the case of the poster who says she just reserved seats for her family. There’s no effort by the school to recognize her. She’s just taking something to recognize herself.

Sorry- me again- I’m back and missed these comments because I was backstage at the drama club rehearsal , no joke hah. Anyways many front row seats are saved by volunteers who show up early, it’s fine, there are hundreds of seats and the auditorium is usually only half full. It’s never standing room only. And I don’t care if you think I shouldn’t. The first year I came to do the kids mics backstage , the director/ teacher was like don’t forget to reserve a couple seats for your husband and other kids! It’s first come first serve for seats and that’s the one upside of being stuck back here doing mics and costume changes! Plenty of moms dropped their kids off tonight and picked them up later after going to the restaurant Nextdoor for apps and drinks actually. They could have volunteered back here with me and chose not to. They’re the types to possibly complain that my husband is sitting up front. But they also don’t help out. And remember my kids get no special treatment and shouldn’t get any! The post about the kid getting the lead role because his parents funded the play- gross. My kids have played such distinguished roles like “Oompa Loompa number 6” , and “snow chorus member” in recent productions. As they should. They’re not great actors 😂

So full circle: your “nuance” is you think there shouldn’t be any special treatment except when its for your family and then it’s fine.

If that’s your takeaway, fine. I’ll still hot glue your daughter’s snow chorus costume decorations on before the show because they fell off. I’ll still hook up your son’s microphone battery pack. I’ll still sweep up all of the snow chorus confetti and glitter after the show as you guys go out for ice cream with your kids whose lines I whispered to them before they went on stage. Oh by the way the after performance clean up is a volunteer slot that also no one ever takes, and I do it since I’m already back there. And I see all of you leaving with your kiddos to go out to celebrate. So don’t tell me you don’t have time or that you can’t, and you won’t be missing the show to do this part either . You don’t want to. And that’s ok because it’s not mandatory! It’s a volunteer position! I do it because I don’t want the teacher/ director to stay late to do it, and get burned out, and decide not to do the show next year since no parents ever help her. So, you’re welcome! And remember, I never ask for or expect special treatment for my kids. You’re upset that I put my jacket down on a first come first serve seat when I got here first. Because I’m helping out.

Seats.

You’re not doing any of this for my kid, we do theater in a program outside school which doesn’t rely in volunteers. Just know that there is always the option to volunteer and *not* take something “because I’m helping out”.

So if you show up first you wouldn’t save the seat next to you for your husband? You’d be like sorry I don’t believe in saving seats? I call BS.

If I’m sitting there? Sure. I wouldn’t save five front and center seats (grandparents and siblings) for people who were arriving three hours later.

I’m the person who runs the book sale— I also don’t help myself to books and justify it “because I’m helping out”

No, but if the book fair only had 5 copies of the most popular new book that was out of stock everywhere else, and you were the one arriving early to open up the book fair and set the tables up as the volunteer, and you rang up one of those books for your own kids as the first customer as soon as the fair officially opened, that would be totally legit. First come first served, and you were there first.

I’d agree with this.
I run the uniform sale. If someone donates a school sweater in good shape that’s my kids size, I’m on that. I’m not going to wait and see if someone else wants it. I spend hours folding, sorting and hanging up clothes including tons of junk clothes that I have to throw out or truck to goodwill (someone put their daughters old UNDERWEAR in with her jumpers! Plus tap shoes, cheer poms, expensive coats…all manner of odds and ends.)

Right! And I wouldn’t be greedy- like I wouldn’t take every single size 10 sweater in good condition- nor would I reserve 20 seats for not just husband and kids but also friends of my kid, other families I know, etc. Someone just has a weird vendetta against auditorium seats I think.

Seats for grandparents… used uniforms… “volunteers” sound like a greedy bunch who absolutely are in it for themselves and not anyone else.

Compared to what? We already know the people who don't volunteer aren't in it for anyone including their own. So what if someone wants to help backstage because their kid is in the play. It also happens to benefit the other kids as well. All the people sitting out don't help either their kid or anyone else's.

Compared to volunteers who don’t take things?

A parent without free time who doesn’t teach their kid its ok to take “freebies” is doing more for the community than you are.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

Ok? That doesn’t mean she had earned extra perks for volunteering or that she deserves front row seats for her family and a free DVD. If you’re being compensated its not volunteering.

It is not "extra perks" or "compensation". It is a courtesy and acknowledgement by school that volunteers do a lot of heavy lifting for the entire school. Lazy entitled parents who are just takers and are uncouth enough to question this are just POS.

… you’re getting a freebie. You can call it a “courtesy copy” or “acknowledgement” but you’re asking for something other people either don’t get or pay for.

I do plenty of volunteering, but would never think of taking something for free to “recognize” my work. That’s what’s uncouth.

I don't think you do any volunteering. No one is TAKING something for free. The school decides to acknowledge the unpaid work of volunteers because without them the school would not be able to put that show. You seem to be totally unaware of the amount of work that gets done by volunteers. You are the classic example of a "taker" parent. And that is why you are triggered because FOMO.

Anyways...keep on getting triggered. Your petty thinking is not going to change anything and it is amusing to think that you will continue to get triggered by your own thoughts.

The school didn’t decide anything. The poster said she takes four seats in the front row. That’s…taking. If the school wanted to recognize her, they would put little signs in it that said “save for the family of Mrs. Smith, the bestest volunteer in the whole wide world”

Dp. I think that is what usually happens. The school puts up a reserved sign if they do this at all.

And yet that isn’t what’s happening in the case of the poster who says she just reserved seats for her family. There’s no effort by the school to recognize her. She’s just taking something to recognize herself.

Sorry- me again- I’m back and missed these comments because I was backstage at the drama club rehearsal , no joke hah. Anyways many front row seats are saved by volunteers who show up early, it’s fine, there are hundreds of seats and the auditorium is usually only half full. It’s never standing room only. And I don’t care if you think I shouldn’t. The first year I came to do the kids mics backstage , the director/ teacher was like don’t forget to reserve a couple seats for your husband and other kids! It’s first come first serve for seats and that’s the one upside of being stuck back here doing mics and costume changes! Plenty of moms dropped their kids off tonight and picked them up later after going to the restaurant Nextdoor for apps and drinks actually. They could have volunteered back here with me and chose not to. They’re the types to possibly complain that my husband is sitting up front. But they also don’t help out. And remember my kids get no special treatment and shouldn’t get any! The post about the kid getting the lead role because his parents funded the play- gross. My kids have played such distinguished roles like “Oompa Loompa number 6” , and “snow chorus member” in recent productions. As they should. They’re not great actors 😂

So full circle: your “nuance” is you think there shouldn’t be any special treatment except when its for your family and then it’s fine.

If that’s your takeaway, fine. I’ll still hot glue your daughter’s snow chorus costume decorations on before the show because they fell off. I’ll still hook up your son’s microphone battery pack. I’ll still sweep up all of the snow chorus confetti and glitter after the show as you guys go out for ice cream with your kids whose lines I whispered to them before they went on stage. Oh by the way the after performance clean up is a volunteer slot that also no one ever takes, and I do it since I’m already back there. And I see all of you leaving with your kiddos to go out to celebrate. So don’t tell me you don’t have time or that you can’t, and you won’t be missing the show to do this part either . You don’t want to. And that’s ok because it’s not mandatory! It’s a volunteer position! I do it because I don’t want the teacher/ director to stay late to do it, and get burned out, and decide not to do the show next year since no parents ever help her. So, you’re welcome! And remember, I never ask for or expect special treatment for my kids. You’re upset that I put my jacket down on a first come first serve seat when I got here first. Because I’m helping out.

Seats.

You’re not doing any of this for my kid, we do theater in a program outside school which doesn’t rely in volunteers. Just know that there is always the option to volunteer and *not* take something “because I’m helping out”.

So if you show up first you wouldn’t save the seat next to you for your husband? You’d be like sorry I don’t believe in saving seats? I call BS.

If I’m sitting there? Sure. I wouldn’t save five front and center seats (grandparents and siblings) for people who were arriving three hours later.

I’m the person who runs the book sale— I also don’t help myself to books and justify it “because I’m helping out”

No, but if the book fair only had 5 copies of the most popular new book that was out of stock everywhere else, and you were the one arriving early to open up the book fair and set the tables up as the volunteer, and you rang up one of those books for your own kids as the first customer as soon as the fair officially opened, that would be totally legit. First come first served, and you were there first.

I’d agree with this.
I run the uniform sale. If someone donates a school sweater in good shape that’s my kids size, I’m on that. I’m not going to wait and see if someone else wants it. I spend hours folding, sorting and hanging up clothes including tons of junk clothes that I have to throw out or truck to goodwill (someone put their daughters old UNDERWEAR in with her jumpers! Plus tap shoes, cheer poms, expensive coats…all manner of odds and ends.)

Right! And I wouldn’t be greedy- like I wouldn’t take every single size 10 sweater in good condition- nor would I reserve 20 seats for not just husband and kids but also friends of my kid, other families I know, etc. Someone just has a weird vendetta against auditorium seats I think.

Seats for grandparents… used uniforms… “volunteers” sound like a greedy bunch who absolutely are in it for themselves and not anyone else.

Compared to what? We already know the people who don't volunteer aren't in it for anyone including their own. So what if someone wants to help backstage because their kid is in the play. It also happens to benefit the other kids as well. All the people sitting out don't help either their kid or anyone else's.

Compared to volunteers who don’t take things?

A parent without free time who doesn’t teach their kid its ok to take “freebies” is doing more for the community than you are.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

Ok? That doesn’t mean she had earned extra perks for volunteering or that she deserves front row seats for her family and a free DVD. If you’re being compensated its not volunteering.

It is not "extra perks" or "compensation". It is a courtesy and acknowledgement by school that volunteers do a lot of heavy lifting for the entire school. Lazy entitled parents who are just takers and are uncouth enough to question this are just POS.

… you’re getting a freebie. You can call it a “courtesy copy” or “acknowledgement” but you’re asking for something other people either don’t get or pay for.

I do plenty of volunteering, but would never think of taking something for free to “recognize” my work. That’s what’s uncouth.

I don't think you do any volunteering. No one is TAKING something for free. The school decides to acknowledge the unpaid work of volunteers because without them the school would not be able to put that show. You seem to be totally unaware of the amount of work that gets done by volunteers. You are the classic example of a "taker" parent. And that is why you are triggered because FOMO.

Anyways...keep on getting triggered. Your petty thinking is not going to change anything and it is amusing to think that you will continue to get triggered by your own thoughts.

The school didn’t decide anything. The poster said she takes four seats in the front row. That’s…taking. If the school wanted to recognize her, they would put little signs in it that said “save for the family of Mrs. Smith, the bestest volunteer in the whole wide world”

Dp. I think that is what usually happens. The school puts up a reserved sign if they do this at all.

And yet that isn’t what’s happening in the case of the poster who says she just reserved seats for her family. There’s no effort by the school to recognize her. She’s just taking something to recognize herself.

Sorry- me again- I’m back and missed these comments because I was backstage at the drama club rehearsal , no joke hah. Anyways many front row seats are saved by volunteers who show up early, it’s fine, there are hundreds of seats and the auditorium is usually only half full. It’s never standing room only. And I don’t care if you think I shouldn’t. The first year I came to do the kids mics backstage , the director/ teacher was like don’t forget to reserve a couple seats for your husband and other kids! It’s first come first serve for seats and that’s the one upside of being stuck back here doing mics and costume changes! Plenty of moms dropped their kids off tonight and picked them up later after going to the restaurant Nextdoor for apps and drinks actually. They could have volunteered back here with me and chose not to. They’re the types to possibly complain that my husband is sitting up front. But they also don’t help out. And remember my kids get no special treatment and shouldn’t get any! The post about the kid getting the lead role because his parents funded the play- gross. My kids have played such distinguished roles like “Oompa Loompa number 6” , and “snow chorus member” in recent productions. As they should. They’re not great actors 😂

So full circle: your “nuance” is you think there shouldn’t be any special treatment except when its for your family and then it’s fine.

If that’s your takeaway, fine. I’ll still hot glue your daughter’s snow chorus costume decorations on before the show because they fell off. I’ll still hook up your son’s microphone battery pack. I’ll still sweep up all of the snow chorus confetti and glitter after the show as you guys go out for ice cream with your kids whose lines I whispered to them before they went on stage. Oh by the way the after performance clean up is a volunteer slot that also no one ever takes, and I do it since I’m already back there. And I see all of you leaving with your kiddos to go out to celebrate. So don’t tell me you don’t have time or that you can’t, and you won’t be missing the show to do this part either . You don’t want to. And that’s ok because it’s not mandatory! It’s a volunteer position! I do it because I don’t want the teacher/ director to stay late to do it, and get burned out, and decide not to do the show next year since no parents ever help her. So, you’re welcome! And remember, I never ask for or expect special treatment for my kids. You’re upset that I put my jacket down on a first come first serve seat when I got here first. Because I’m helping out.

Seats.

You’re not doing any of this for my kid, we do theater in a program outside school which doesn’t rely in volunteers. Just know that there is always the option to volunteer and *not* take something “because I’m helping out”.

So if you show up first you wouldn’t save the seat next to you for your husband? You’d be like sorry I don’t believe in saving seats? I call BS.

If I’m sitting there? Sure. I wouldn’t save five front and center seats (grandparents and siblings) for people who were arriving three hours later.

I’m the person who runs the book sale— I also don’t help myself to books and justify it “because I’m helping out”

No, but if the book fair only had 5 copies of the most popular new book that was out of stock everywhere else, and you were the one arriving early to open up the book fair and set the tables up as the volunteer, and you rang up one of those books for your own kids as the first customer as soon as the fair officially opened, that would be totally legit. First come first served, and you were there first.

I’d agree with this.
I run the uniform sale. If someone donates a school sweater in good shape that’s my kids size, I’m on that. I’m not going to wait and see if someone else wants it. I spend hours folding, sorting and hanging up clothes including tons of junk clothes that I have to throw out or truck to goodwill (someone put their daughters old UNDERWEAR in with her jumpers! Plus tap shoes, cheer poms, expensive coats…all manner of odds and ends.)

Right! And I wouldn’t be greedy- like I wouldn’t take every single size 10 sweater in good condition- nor would I reserve 20 seats for not just husband and kids but also friends of my kid, other families I know, etc. Someone just has a weird vendetta against auditorium seats I think.

Seats for grandparents… used uniforms… “volunteers” sound like a greedy bunch who absolutely are in it for themselves and not anyone else.

Compared to what? We already know the people who don't volunteer aren't in it for anyone including their own. So what if someone wants to help backstage because their kid is in the play. It also happens to benefit the other kids as well. All the people sitting out don't help either their kid or anyone else's.

Compared to volunteers who don’t take things?

A parent without free time who doesn’t teach their kid its ok to take “freebies” is doing more for the community than you are.

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Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

Ok? That doesn’t mean she had earned extra perks for volunteering or that she deserves front row seats for her family and a free DVD. If you’re being compensated its not volunteering.

It is not "extra perks" or "compensation". It is a courtesy and acknowledgement by school that volunteers do a lot of heavy lifting for the entire school. Lazy entitled parents who are just takers and are uncouth enough to question this are just POS.

… you’re getting a freebie. You can call it a “courtesy copy” or “acknowledgement” but you’re asking for something other people either don’t get or pay for.

I do plenty of volunteering, but would never think of taking something for free to “recognize” my work. That’s what’s uncouth.

I don't think you do any volunteering. No one is TAKING something for free. The school decides to acknowledge the unpaid work of volunteers because without them the school would not be able to put that show. You seem to be totally unaware of the amount of work that gets done by volunteers. You are the classic example of a "taker" parent. And that is why you are triggered because FOMO.

Anyways...keep on getting triggered. Your petty thinking is not going to change anything and it is amusing to think that you will continue to get triggered by your own thoughts.

The school didn’t decide anything. The poster said she takes four seats in the front row. That’s…taking. If the school wanted to recognize her, they would put little signs in it that said “save for the family of Mrs. Smith, the bestest volunteer in the whole wide world”

Dp. I think that is what usually happens. The school puts up a reserved sign if they do this at all.

And yet that isn’t what’s happening in the case of the poster who says she just reserved seats for her family. There’s no effort by the school to recognize her. She’s just taking something to recognize herself.

Sorry- me again- I’m back and missed these comments because I was backstage at the drama club rehearsal , no joke hah. Anyways many front row seats are saved by volunteers who show up early, it’s fine, there are hundreds of seats and the auditorium is usually only half full. It’s never standing room only. And I don’t care if you think I shouldn’t. The first year I came to do the kids mics backstage , the director/ teacher was like don’t forget to reserve a couple seats for your husband and other kids! It’s first come first serve for seats and that’s the one upside of being stuck back here doing mics and costume changes! Plenty of moms dropped their kids off tonight and picked them up later after going to the restaurant Nextdoor for apps and drinks actually. They could have volunteered back here with me and chose not to. They’re the types to possibly complain that my husband is sitting up front. But they also don’t help out. And remember my kids get no special treatment and shouldn’t get any! The post about the kid getting the lead role because his parents funded the play- gross. My kids have played such distinguished roles like “Oompa Loompa number 6” , and “snow chorus member” in recent productions. As they should. They’re not great actors 😂

So full circle: your “nuance” is you think there shouldn’t be any special treatment except when its for your family and then it’s fine.

If that’s your takeaway, fine. I’ll still hot glue your daughter’s snow chorus costume decorations on before the show because they fell off. I’ll still hook up your son’s microphone battery pack. I’ll still sweep up all of the snow chorus confetti and glitter after the show as you guys go out for ice cream with your kids whose lines I whispered to them before they went on stage. Oh by the way the after performance clean up is a volunteer slot that also no one ever takes, and I do it since I’m already back there. And I see all of you leaving with your kiddos to go out to celebrate. So don’t tell me you don’t have time or that you can’t, and you won’t be missing the show to do this part either . You don’t want to. And that’s ok because it’s not mandatory! It’s a volunteer position! I do it because I don’t want the teacher/ director to stay late to do it, and get burned out, and decide not to do the show next year since no parents ever help her. So, you’re welcome! And remember, I never ask for or expect special treatment for my kids. You’re upset that I put my jacket down on a first come first serve seat when I got here first. Because I’m helping out.

Seats.

You’re not doing any of this for my kid, we do theater in a program outside school which doesn’t rely in volunteers. Just know that there is always the option to volunteer and *not* take something “because I’m helping out”.

So if you show up first you wouldn’t save the seat next to you for your husband? You’d be like sorry I don’t believe in saving seats? I call BS.

If I’m sitting there? Sure. I wouldn’t save five front and center seats (grandparents and siblings) for people who were arriving three hours later.

I’m the person who runs the book sale— I also don’t help myself to books and justify it “because I’m helping out”

No, but if the book fair only had 5 copies of the most popular new book that was out of stock everywhere else, and you were the one arriving early to open up the book fair and set the tables up as the volunteer, and you rang up one of those books for your own kids as the first customer as soon as the fair officially opened, that would be totally legit. First come first served, and you were there first.

I’d agree with this.
I run the uniform sale. If someone donates a school sweater in good shape that’s my kids size, I’m on that. I’m not going to wait and see if someone else wants it. I spend hours folding, sorting and hanging up clothes including tons of junk clothes that I have to throw out or truck to goodwill (someone put their daughters old UNDERWEAR in with her jumpers! Plus tap shoes, cheer poms, expensive coats…all manner of odds and ends.)

Right! And I wouldn’t be greedy- like I wouldn’t take every single size 10 sweater in good condition- nor would I reserve 20 seats for not just husband and kids but also friends of my kid, other families I know, etc. Someone just has a weird vendetta against auditorium seats I think.

Seats for grandparents… used uniforms… “volunteers” sound like a greedy bunch who absolutely are in it for themselves and not anyone else.

Compared to what? We already know the people who don't volunteer aren't in it for anyone including their own. So what if someone wants to help backstage because their kid is in the play. It also happens to benefit the other kids as well. All the people sitting out don't help either their kid or anyone else's.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

Ok? That doesn’t mean she had earned extra perks for volunteering or that she deserves front row seats for her family and a free DVD. If you’re being compensated its not volunteering.

It is not "extra perks" or "compensation". It is a courtesy and acknowledgement by school that volunteers do a lot of heavy lifting for the entire school. Lazy entitled parents who are just takers and are uncouth enough to question this are just POS.

… you’re getting a freebie. You can call it a “courtesy copy” or “acknowledgement” but you’re asking for something other people either don’t get or pay for.

I do plenty of volunteering, but would never think of taking something for free to “recognize” my work. That’s what’s uncouth.

I don't think you do any volunteering. No one is TAKING something for free. The school decides to acknowledge the unpaid work of volunteers because without them the school would not be able to put that show. You seem to be totally unaware of the amount of work that gets done by volunteers. You are the classic example of a "taker" parent. And that is why you are triggered because FOMO.

Anyways...keep on getting triggered. Your petty thinking is not going to change anything and it is amusing to think that you will continue to get triggered by your own thoughts.

The school didn’t decide anything. The poster said she takes four seats in the front row. That’s…taking. If the school wanted to recognize her, they would put little signs in it that said “save for the family of Mrs. Smith, the bestest volunteer in the whole wide world”

Dp. I think that is what usually happens. The school puts up a reserved sign if they do this at all.

And yet that isn’t what’s happening in the case of the poster who says she just reserved seats for her family. There’s no effort by the school to recognize her. She’s just taking something to recognize herself.

Sorry- me again- I’m back and missed these comments because I was backstage at the drama club rehearsal , no joke hah. Anyways many front row seats are saved by volunteers who show up early, it’s fine, there are hundreds of seats and the auditorium is usually only half full. It’s never standing room only. And I don’t care if you think I shouldn’t. The first year I came to do the kids mics backstage , the director/ teacher was like don’t forget to reserve a couple seats for your husband and other kids! It’s first come first serve for seats and that’s the one upside of being stuck back here doing mics and costume changes! Plenty of moms dropped their kids off tonight and picked them up later after going to the restaurant Nextdoor for apps and drinks actually. They could have volunteered back here with me and chose not to. They’re the types to possibly complain that my husband is sitting up front. But they also don’t help out. And remember my kids get no special treatment and shouldn’t get any! The post about the kid getting the lead role because his parents funded the play- gross. My kids have played such distinguished roles like “Oompa Loompa number 6” , and “snow chorus member” in recent productions. As they should. They’re not great actors 😂

So full circle: your “nuance” is you think there shouldn’t be any special treatment except when its for your family and then it’s fine.

If that’s your takeaway, fine. I’ll still hot glue your daughter’s snow chorus costume decorations on before the show because they fell off. I’ll still hook up your son’s microphone battery pack. I’ll still sweep up all of the snow chorus confetti and glitter after the show as you guys go out for ice cream with your kids whose lines I whispered to them before they went on stage. Oh by the way the after performance clean up is a volunteer slot that also no one ever takes, and I do it since I’m already back there. And I see all of you leaving with your kiddos to go out to celebrate. So don’t tell me you don’t have time or that you can’t, and you won’t be missing the show to do this part either . You don’t want to. And that’s ok because it’s not mandatory! It’s a volunteer position! I do it because I don’t want the teacher/ director to stay late to do it, and get burned out, and decide not to do the show next year since no parents ever help her. So, you’re welcome! And remember, I never ask for or expect special treatment for my kids. You’re upset that I put my jacket down on a first come first serve seat when I got here first. Because I’m helping out.

Seats.

You’re not doing any of this for my kid, we do theater in a program outside school which doesn’t rely in volunteers. Just know that there is always the option to volunteer and *not* take something “because I’m helping out”.

So if you show up first you wouldn’t save the seat next to you for your husband? You’d be like sorry I don’t believe in saving seats? I call BS.

If I’m sitting there? Sure. I wouldn’t save five front and center seats (grandparents and siblings) for people who were arriving three hours later.

I’m the person who runs the book sale— I also don’t help myself to books and justify it “because I’m helping out”

No, but if the book fair only had 5 copies of the most popular new book that was out of stock everywhere else, and you were the one arriving early to open up the book fair and set the tables up as the volunteer, and you rang up one of those books for your own kids as the first customer as soon as the fair officially opened, that would be totally legit. First come first served, and you were there first.

I’d agree with this.
I run the uniform sale. If someone donates a school sweater in good shape that’s my kids size, I’m on that. I’m not going to wait and see if someone else wants it. I spend hours folding, sorting and hanging up clothes including tons of junk clothes that I have to throw out or truck to goodwill (someone put their daughters old UNDERWEAR in with her jumpers! Plus tap shoes, cheer poms, expensive coats…all manner of odds and ends.)

Right! And I wouldn’t be greedy- like I wouldn’t take every single size 10 sweater in good condition- nor would I reserve 20 seats for not just husband and kids but also friends of my kid, other families I know, etc. Someone just has a weird vendetta against auditorium seats I think.

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Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

Ok? That doesn’t mean she had earned extra perks for volunteering or that she deserves front row seats for her family and a free DVD. If you’re being compensated its not volunteering.

It is not "extra perks" or "compensation". It is a courtesy and acknowledgement by school that volunteers do a lot of heavy lifting for the entire school. Lazy entitled parents who are just takers and are uncouth enough to question this are just POS.

… you’re getting a freebie. You can call it a “courtesy copy” or “acknowledgement” but you’re asking for something other people either don’t get or pay for.

I do plenty of volunteering, but would never think of taking something for free to “recognize” my work. That’s what’s uncouth.

I don't think you do any volunteering. No one is TAKING something for free. The school decides to acknowledge the unpaid work of volunteers because without them the school would not be able to put that show. You seem to be totally unaware of the amount of work that gets done by volunteers. You are the classic example of a "taker" parent. And that is why you are triggered because FOMO.

Anyways...keep on getting triggered. Your petty thinking is not going to change anything and it is amusing to think that you will continue to get triggered by your own thoughts.

The school didn’t decide anything. The poster said she takes four seats in the front row. That’s…taking. If the school wanted to recognize her, they would put little signs in it that said “save for the family of Mrs. Smith, the bestest volunteer in the whole wide world”

Dp. I think that is what usually happens. The school puts up a reserved sign if they do this at all.

And yet that isn’t what’s happening in the case of the poster who says she just reserved seats for her family. There’s no effort by the school to recognize her. She’s just taking something to recognize herself.

Sorry- me again- I’m back and missed these comments because I was backstage at the drama club rehearsal , no joke hah. Anyways many front row seats are saved by volunteers who show up early, it’s fine, there are hundreds of seats and the auditorium is usually only half full. It’s never standing room only. And I don’t care if you think I shouldn’t. The first year I came to do the kids mics backstage , the director/ teacher was like don’t forget to reserve a couple seats for your husband and other kids! It’s first come first serve for seats and that’s the one upside of being stuck back here doing mics and costume changes! Plenty of moms dropped their kids off tonight and picked them up later after going to the restaurant Nextdoor for apps and drinks actually. They could have volunteered back here with me and chose not to. They’re the types to possibly complain that my husband is sitting up front. But they also don’t help out. And remember my kids get no special treatment and shouldn’t get any! The post about the kid getting the lead role because his parents funded the play- gross. My kids have played such distinguished roles like “Oompa Loompa number 6” , and “snow chorus member” in recent productions. As they should. They’re not great actors 😂

So full circle: your “nuance” is you think there shouldn’t be any special treatment except when its for your family and then it’s fine.

If that’s your takeaway, fine. I’ll still hot glue your daughter’s snow chorus costume decorations on before the show because they fell off. I’ll still hook up your son’s microphone battery pack. I’ll still sweep up all of the snow chorus confetti and glitter after the show as you guys go out for ice cream with your kids whose lines I whispered to them before they went on stage. Oh by the way the after performance clean up is a volunteer slot that also no one ever takes, and I do it since I’m already back there. And I see all of you leaving with your kiddos to go out to celebrate. So don’t tell me you don’t have time or that you can’t, and you won’t be missing the show to do this part either . You don’t want to. And that’s ok because it’s not mandatory! It’s a volunteer position! I do it because I don’t want the teacher/ director to stay late to do it, and get burned out, and decide not to do the show next year since no parents ever help her. So, you’re welcome! And remember, I never ask for or expect special treatment for my kids. You’re upset that I put my jacket down on a first come first serve seat when I got here first. Because I’m helping out.

Seats.

You’re not doing any of this for my kid, we do theater in a program outside school which doesn’t rely in volunteers. Just know that there is always the option to volunteer and *not* take something “because I’m helping out”.

So if you show up first you wouldn’t save the seat next to you for your husband? You’d be like sorry I don’t believe in saving seats? I call BS.

If I’m sitting there? Sure. I wouldn’t save five front and center seats (grandparents and siblings) for people who were arriving three hours later.

I’m the person who runs the book sale— I also don’t help myself to books and justify it “because I’m helping out”

No, but if the book fair only had 5 copies of the most popular new book that was out of stock everywhere else, and you were the one arriving early to open up the book fair and set the tables up as the volunteer, and you rang up one of those books for your own kids as the first customer as soon as the fair officially opened, that would be totally legit. First come first served, and you were there first.

I’d agree with this.
I run the uniform sale. If someone donates a school sweater in good shape that’s my kids size, I’m on that. I’m not going to wait and see if someone else wants it. I spend hours folding, sorting and hanging up clothes including tons of junk clothes that I have to throw out or truck to goodwill (someone put their daughters old UNDERWEAR in with her jumpers! Plus tap shoes, cheer poms, expensive coats…all manner of odds and ends.)

Right! And I wouldn’t be greedy- like I wouldn’t take every single size 10 sweater in good condition- nor would I reserve 20 seats for not just husband and kids but also friends of my kid, other families I know, etc. Someone just has a weird vendetta against auditorium seats I think.

Seats for grandparents… used uniforms… “volunteers” sound like a greedy bunch who absolutely are in it for themselves and not anyone else.

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Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

Ok? That doesn’t mean she had earned extra perks for volunteering or that she deserves front row seats for her family and a free DVD. If you’re being compensated its not volunteering.

It is not "extra perks" or "compensation". It is a courtesy and acknowledgement by school that volunteers do a lot of heavy lifting for the entire school. Lazy entitled parents who are just takers and are uncouth enough to question this are just POS.

… you’re getting a freebie. You can call it a “courtesy copy” or “acknowledgement” but you’re asking for something other people either don’t get or pay for.

I do plenty of volunteering, but would never think of taking something for free to “recognize” my work. That’s what’s uncouth.

I don't think you do any volunteering. No one is TAKING something for free. The school decides to acknowledge the unpaid work of volunteers because without them the school would not be able to put that show. You seem to be totally unaware of the amount of work that gets done by volunteers. You are the classic example of a "taker" parent. And that is why you are triggered because FOMO.

Anyways...keep on getting triggered. Your petty thinking is not going to change anything and it is amusing to think that you will continue to get triggered by your own thoughts.

The school didn’t decide anything. The poster said she takes four seats in the front row. That’s…taking. If the school wanted to recognize her, they would put little signs in it that said “save for the family of Mrs. Smith, the bestest volunteer in the whole wide world”

Dp. I think that is what usually happens. The school puts up a reserved sign if they do this at all.

And yet that isn’t what’s happening in the case of the poster who says she just reserved seats for her family. There’s no effort by the school to recognize her. She’s just taking something to recognize herself.

Sorry- me again- I’m back and missed these comments because I was backstage at the drama club rehearsal , no joke hah. Anyways many front row seats are saved by volunteers who show up early, it’s fine, there are hundreds of seats and the auditorium is usually only half full. It’s never standing room only. And I don’t care if you think I shouldn’t. The first year I came to do the kids mics backstage , the director/ teacher was like don’t forget to reserve a couple seats for your husband and other kids! It’s first come first serve for seats and that’s the one upside of being stuck back here doing mics and costume changes! Plenty of moms dropped their kids off tonight and picked them up later after going to the restaurant Nextdoor for apps and drinks actually. They could have volunteered back here with me and chose not to. They’re the types to possibly complain that my husband is sitting up front. But they also don’t help out. And remember my kids get no special treatment and shouldn’t get any! The post about the kid getting the lead role because his parents funded the play- gross. My kids have played such distinguished roles like “Oompa Loompa number 6” , and “snow chorus member” in recent productions. As they should. They’re not great actors 😂

So full circle: your “nuance” is you think there shouldn’t be any special treatment except when its for your family and then it’s fine.

If that’s your takeaway, fine. I’ll still hot glue your daughter’s snow chorus costume decorations on before the show because they fell off. I’ll still hook up your son’s microphone battery pack. I’ll still sweep up all of the snow chorus confetti and glitter after the show as you guys go out for ice cream with your kids whose lines I whispered to them before they went on stage. Oh by the way the after performance clean up is a volunteer slot that also no one ever takes, and I do it since I’m already back there. And I see all of you leaving with your kiddos to go out to celebrate. So don’t tell me you don’t have time or that you can’t, and you won’t be missing the show to do this part either . You don’t want to. And that’s ok because it’s not mandatory! It’s a volunteer position! I do it because I don’t want the teacher/ director to stay late to do it, and get burned out, and decide not to do the show next year since no parents ever help her. So, you’re welcome! And remember, I never ask for or expect special treatment for my kids. You’re upset that I put my jacket down on a first come first serve seat when I got here first. Because I’m helping out.

Seats.

You’re not doing any of this for my kid, we do theater in a program outside school which doesn’t rely in volunteers. Just know that there is always the option to volunteer and *not* take something “because I’m helping out”.

So if you show up first you wouldn’t save the seat next to you for your husband? You’d be like sorry I don’t believe in saving seats? I call BS.

If I’m sitting there? Sure. I wouldn’t save five front and center seats (grandparents and siblings) for people who were arriving three hours later.

I’m the person who runs the book sale— I also don’t help myself to books and justify it “because I’m helping out”

No, but if the book fair only had 5 copies of the most popular new book that was out of stock everywhere else, and you were the one arriving early to open up the book fair and set the tables up as the volunteer, and you rang up one of those books for your own kids as the first customer as soon as the fair officially opened, that would be totally legit. First come first served, and you were there first.

I’d agree with this.
I run the uniform sale. If someone donates a school sweater in good shape that’s my kids size, I’m on that. I’m not going to wait and see if someone else wants it. I spend hours folding, sorting and hanging up clothes including tons of junk clothes that I have to throw out or truck to goodwill (someone put their daughters old UNDERWEAR in with her jumpers! Plus tap shoes, cheer poms, expensive coats…all manner of odds and ends.)

Right! And I wouldn’t be greedy- like I wouldn’t take every single size 10 sweater in good condition- nor would I reserve 20 seats for not just husband and kids but also friends of my kid, other families I know, etc. Someone just has a weird vendetta against auditorium seats I think.