Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of the OOS are appealing enough to pay double. JMU is a great option. I agree it's anxiety more than anything. I especially hear many girls go through this spring before college.

https://www.sarahkipnestherapy.com/blog/is-your-teen-anxious-about-college

No, it isn't anxiety. She went to Yorktown/McLean/Langley. She's embarrassed by her choices. That's what's driving this. And she will get over it.

That’s bull. More kids in that area are going to colleges just like the ones she’s looking at. There aren’t even any top rated private schools or feeder schools.

No public school sends the majority of students to Ivy League or even top ten.

You're not from the DMV and you don't understand the mindset at those three schools. It's very obvious.

DP - I am from the DMV. Not everyone has that mindset.
Lots of Yorktown students go to JMU. And Indiana is growing in popularity.

God you people are obtuse.

You're not from Yorktown/McLean/Langley

Yes, lot of Yorktown students go to JMU. That doesn't mean they want to. It's a pressure cooker kind of school. A UVA or bust school. There's a lot of disappointment and feeling like a failure if you're not UVA, W&M, or a top private. I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying it's what it is.

I KNOW that that is what is eating at OP's kid. There's nothing wrong with any of the schools the kid got into other than the fact that, where she is about to graduate from, they're not schools that anybody brags about. She's embarrassed. Rightly or wrongly, she is. But she'll get over it.

OMG. Talk about obtuse! You are totally making up an attitude that does.not.exist. The kids who go to JMU LOVE it - no one is embarrassed. Get over yourself. You seem to be a problematic person, making up these narratives that simply don't exist.
DP

Why are you being so defensive? I never said that kids who go to JMU don't love it. In fact, I know they do. I know a million kids who went to JMU and have no regrets. It's a great school.

What I said is that, for many kids who attend Yorktown/McLean/Langley, having their college acceptances top out at JMU is a disappointment AT THE TIME. We are talking about competitive high schools with pushy parents and high achieving kids, with many gunning for highly ranked colleges. Yes, in the end they will all discover that it doesn't really matter and that a few years down the road nobody will care where you went to college. But that's not what many kids and parents are thinking AT THE TIME.

I remain convinced that that is the primary driver behind OP's daughter not being "excited" about her college options. They're not instagram worthy. But, again, she'll get over it.

Sounds like miserable schools and parents.

Maybe. Maybe not. But you're clearly just another poster from outside the area who doesn't really understand the dynamics and can't really offer informed advice.

Apparently, the elitism among some students and families at these schools is deeply engrained.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of the OOS are appealing enough to pay double. JMU is a great option. I agree it's anxiety more than anything. I especially hear many girls go through this spring before college.

https://www.sarahkipnestherapy.com/blog/is-your-teen-anxious-about-college

No, it isn't anxiety. She went to Yorktown/McLean/Langley. She's embarrassed by her choices. That's what's driving this. And she will get over it.

That’s bull. More kids in that area are going to colleges just like the ones she’s looking at. There aren’t even any top rated private schools or feeder schools.

No public school sends the majority of students to Ivy League or even top ten.

You're not from the DMV and you don't understand the mindset at those three schools. It's very obvious.

DP - I am from the DMV. Not everyone has that mindset.
Lots of Yorktown students go to JMU. And Indiana is growing in popularity.

God you people are obtuse.

You're not from Yorktown/McLean/Langley

Yes, lot of Yorktown students go to JMU. That doesn't mean they want to. It's a pressure cooker kind of school. A UVA or bust school. There's a lot of disappointment and feeling like a failure if you're not UVA, W&M, or a top private. I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying it's what it is.

I KNOW that that is what is eating at OP's kid. There's nothing wrong with any of the schools the kid got into other than the fact that, where she is about to graduate from, they're not schools that anybody brags about. She's embarrassed. Rightly or wrongly, she is. But she'll get over it.

OMG. Talk about obtuse! You are totally making up an attitude that does.not.exist. The kids who go to JMU LOVE it - no one is embarrassed. Get over yourself. You seem to be a problematic person, making up these narratives that simply don't exist.
DP

Why are you being so defensive? I never said that kids who go to JMU don't love it. In fact, I know they do. I know a million kids who went to JMU and have no regrets. It's a great school.

What I said is that, for many kids who attend Yorktown/McLean/Langley, having their college acceptances top out at JMU is a disappointment AT THE TIME. We are talking about competitive high schools with pushy parents and high achieving kids, with many gunning for highly ranked colleges. Yes, in the end they will all discover that it doesn't really matter and that a few years down the road nobody will care where you went to college. But that's not what many kids and parents are thinking AT THE TIME.

I remain convinced that that is the primary driver behind OP's daughter not being "excited" about her college options. They're not instagram worthy. But, again, she'll get over it.

USNWR ranking started this mess. Parents become obsessed with it and then it trickles down to the kids. The best thing the OP should do is reassure their kid that she is loved and that they believe in her. The rankings are bullshXX!

UVA has always been the Holy Grail in NOVA high schools. Even before the rankings.

Bless your heart. No it hasn’t.

Can we stop with the misogynistic put downs? Thanks.

Anonymous wrote:DD has applied broadly to 10+ schools and is more of an average student (3.5w in NoVa, test optional), and has gotten some great acceptances (in my book) but is not really in love with any of them.

She would ideally be a business or marketing major but did not apply to the business school at most college because it was more competitive.

Her current choices are: JMU, Michigan state, Indiana, college of Charleston, and is requesting review to main campus at Penn state. (Accepted to 2+2).

She is not really interested in some of the smaller schools we looked at.

How can I help her come to terms with the fact that there may be no “dream” school for her? Also she does not want to take a gap year or go to NOVA and then transfer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congrats to your DD on some great options.

My DS is similar. He only had a 3.0 when applying. He did submit his SAT score since it was good considering his GPA (1380). He’s at a competitive NJ public (there are several Ivy acceptances and 6 kids to NYU so far this year). But also—plenty of kids going to less selective schools. Including 2 girls choosing JMU OOS for what it’s worth.

He is waiting on a couple things still but has some great options and has shown no excitement at all about any of them. Accepted to U Denver last week. Accepted to UConn last night (a school he visited already and loved the campus). Accepted Miami of OH. Just kind of shrugged at the news.

I think a couple of things are going on that may also be true for your DD. One is just general anxiety about leaving home (he was not opposed to applying far away, but commented how “far” U Denver is once he was accepted). Another is maybe lack of enthusiasm about continuing his education in general, when parts of high school were difficult. Concern about fitting in. And then similar to your DD, no real “dream school”. Although unlike your DD, he’s not paying attention to other kids’ acceptances (and his friends are not the Ivy+ crowd).

I disagree with others encouraging application last minute to some rolling admission schools. Those schools aren’t better than your DD’s current options, and I don’t see why she’d be more excited about Temple, for example, than the schools you mentioned (I’ve visited Temple).

Sounds like you are planning to visit all her choices, which is great. She may click with one. She may not. If she’s still unsure, have her make a pros/cons list for the top couple of options. See if the guidance counselor can set up a call with a HS alumnus who is a current student at these universities, or a friend’s kid if you know one, to talk to her (my older DS did this and it helped him decide between 2 schools). Once she’s made her decision, buy her some swag so she can start to get excited.

I’ve definitely known of kids attending their “dream school” and having tough first semesters/years (sometimes transferring). Lower expectations are not always a bad thing, she may be pleasantly surprised.

I'm not the OP, but my kids graduated from one of the high schools she says hers went to. Your comment is a good example of why sometimes it's so annoying to have posters weigh in from outside the DMV. You just don't get the dynamics at play here. OP's kid attends a "UVA or bust" school. Your kid doesn't attend a "Rutgers or bust" school. Your kids routinely go out of state and JMU is a popular option. Where OP's kid goes to high school, JMU to many still stands for "Just Missed UVA."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of the OOS are appealing enough to pay double. JMU is a great option. I agree it's anxiety more than anything. I especially hear many girls go through this spring before college.

https://www.sarahkipnestherapy.com/blog/is-your-teen-anxious-about-college

No, it isn't anxiety. She went to Yorktown/McLean/Langley. She's embarrassed by her choices. That's what's driving this. And she will get over it.

That’s bull. More kids in that area are going to colleges just like the ones she’s looking at. There aren’t even any top rated private schools or feeder schools.

No public school sends the majority of students to Ivy League or even top ten.

You're not from the DMV and you don't understand the mindset at those three schools. It's very obvious.

DP. I was born and raised here, attended one of those high schools, and now my own kids attend one of them. You are just spouting absolute BS. And how would you know what the "mindset" is at three different schools? It's pretty clear you don't have kids at even one of them because your posts read like fiction.

If your kid's only expectation is JMU, I'm sure they will be happy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of the OOS are appealing enough to pay double. JMU is a great option. I agree it's anxiety more than anything. I especially hear many girls go through this spring before college.

https://www.sarahkipnestherapy.com/blog/is-your-teen-anxious-about-college

No, it isn't anxiety. She went to Yorktown/McLean/Langley. She's embarrassed by her choices. That's what's driving this. And she will get over it.

That’s bull. More kids in that area are going to colleges just like the ones she’s looking at. There aren’t even any top rated private schools or feeder schools.

No public school sends the majority of students to Ivy League or even top ten.

You're not from the DMV and you don't understand the mindset at those three schools. It's very obvious.

DP - I am from the DMV. Not everyone has that mindset.
Lots of Yorktown students go to JMU. And Indiana is growing in popularity.

God you people are obtuse.

You're not from Yorktown/McLean/Langley

Yes, lot of Yorktown students go to JMU. That doesn't mean they want to. It's a pressure cooker kind of school. A UVA or bust school. There's a lot of disappointment and feeling like a failure if you're not UVA, W&M, or a top private. I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying it's what it is.

I KNOW that that is what is eating at OP's kid. There's nothing wrong with any of the schools the kid got into other than the fact that, where she is about to graduate from, they're not schools that anybody brags about. She's embarrassed. Rightly or wrongly, she is. But she'll get over it.

OMG. Talk about obtuse! You are totally making up an attitude that does.not.exist. The kids who go to JMU LOVE it - no one is embarrassed. Get over yourself. You seem to be a problematic person, making up these narratives that simply don't exist.
DP

Why are you being so defensive? I never said that kids who go to JMU don't love it. In fact, I know they do. I know a million kids who went to JMU and have no regrets. It's a great school.

What I said is that, for many kids who attend Yorktown/McLean/Langley, having their college acceptances top out at JMU is a disappointment AT THE TIME. We are talking about competitive high schools with pushy parents and high achieving kids, with many gunning for highly ranked colleges. Yes, in the end they will all discover that it doesn't really matter and that a few years down the road nobody will care where you went to college. But that's not what many kids and parents are thinking AT THE TIME.

I remain convinced that that is the primary driver behind OP's daughter not being "excited" about her college options. They're not instagram worthy. But, again, she'll get over it.

Sounds like miserable schools and parents.

Maybe. Maybe not. But you're clearly just another poster from outside the area who doesn't really understand the dynamics and can't really offer informed advice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of the OOS are appealing enough to pay double. JMU is a great option. I agree it's anxiety more than anything. I especially hear many girls go through this spring before college.

https://www.sarahkipnestherapy.com/blog/is-your-teen-anxious-about-college

No, it isn't anxiety. She went to Yorktown/McLean/Langley. She's embarrassed by her choices. That's what's driving this. And she will get over it.

That’s bull. More kids in that area are going to colleges just like the ones she’s looking at. There aren’t even any top rated private schools or feeder schools.

No public school sends the majority of students to Ivy League or even top ten.

You're not from the DMV and you don't understand the mindset at those three schools. It's very obvious.

DP - I am from the DMV. Not everyone has that mindset.
Lots of Yorktown students go to JMU. And Indiana is growing in popularity.

God you people are obtuse.

You're not from Yorktown/McLean/Langley

Yes, lot of Yorktown students go to JMU. That doesn't mean they want to. It's a pressure cooker kind of school. A UVA or bust school. There's a lot of disappointment and feeling like a failure if you're not UVA, W&M, or a top private. I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying it's what it is.

I KNOW that that is what is eating at OP's kid. There's nothing wrong with any of the schools the kid got into other than the fact that, where she is about to graduate from, they're not schools that anybody brags about. She's embarrassed. Rightly or wrongly, she is. But she'll get over it.

OMG. Talk about obtuse! You are totally making up an attitude that does.not.exist. The kids who go to JMU LOVE it - no one is embarrassed. Get over yourself. You seem to be a problematic person, making up these narratives that simply don't exist.
DP

You missed the whole point of the conversation.