Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look. Historically it was women who wrote the thank you letters. I have never met a man who would write a thank you letter, let alone take the time to figure out what everybody sent and come up with a few sentences on how he planned to use it.

And maybe that made sense when women stayed at home, and relationships were their responsibility.

But now with women working full time, it’s ridiculous to expect them to also spend hours on this unpaid labor that no man would ever do. They (or really, she, because I’m guessing the wife did this) are smart for finding a solution that requires little time yet still got the thank you note out.

Gotta love this new generation. Not too busy to plan a big expensive wedding and fill out that registry, but too busy and entitled to be bothered with sending a proper thank you.

+1

We live in a vulgar age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look. Historically it was women who wrote the thank you letters. I have never met a man who would write a thank you letter, let alone take the time to figure out what everybody sent and come up with a few sentences on how he planned to use it.

And maybe that made sense when women stayed at home, and relationships were their responsibility.

But now with women working full time, it’s ridiculous to expect them to also spend hours on this unpaid labor that no man would ever do. They (or really, she, because I’m guessing the wife did this) are smart for finding a solution that requires little time yet still got the thank you note out.

Gotta love this new generation. Not too busy to plan a big expensive wedding and fill out that registry, but too busy and entitled to be bothered with sending a proper thank you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look. Historically it was women who wrote the thank you letters. I have never met a man who would write a thank you letter, let alone take the time to figure out what everybody sent and come up with a few sentences on how he planned to use it.

And maybe that made sense when women stayed at home, and relationships were their responsibility.

But now with women working full time, it’s ridiculous to expect them to also spend hours on this unpaid labor that no man would ever do. They (or really, she, because I’m guessing the wife did this) are smart for finding a solution that requires little time yet still got the thank you note out.

Gotta love this new generation. Not too busy to plan a big expensive wedding and fill out that registry, but too busy and entitled to be bothered with sending a proper thank you.

AMEN! Why should thank you notes require little time? It takes a lot of time to pick out a gift and attend an event.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look. Historically it was women who wrote the thank you letters. I have never met a man who would write a thank you letter, let alone take the time to figure out what everybody sent and come up with a few sentences on how he planned to use it.

And maybe that made sense when women stayed at home, and relationships were their responsibility.

But now with women working full time, it’s ridiculous to expect them to also spend hours on this unpaid labor that no man would ever do. They (or really, she, because I’m guessing the wife did this) are smart for finding a solution that requires little time yet still got the thank you note out.

Gotta love this new generation. Not too busy to plan a big expensive wedding and fill out that registry, but too busy and entitled to be bothered with sending a proper thank you.

Anonymous wrote:I am solidly Team OP. When I am fortunate enough to be invited to a wedding, not only do I try to find a registry gift that seems meaningful (and is expensive) or I give a generous check. I ALSO take time to hand write a note that is personal and celebrates the couple, the event, and their future together. I am gracious at the even, thank the couple and any parent hosts for including me, etc.

I don’t think it is too much to ask that adults who are old enough to get married, have a fancy and expensive wedding, and expect (yes, of course they do) gifts to spend a whole 5-7 minutes to hand write a thank you note that shows gratitude for the effort I (and every other guest) put into their wedding. Same for bar/bat mitzvahs, confirmations, quincieneras, sweet sixteens, graduations, etc.

I’m old, I guess, and tired of living in what feels more and more like a transactional social environment where nothing has any human touch anymore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Proper thank you”. There it is. The point is that one’s definition of “proper” is subjective and changes with time.

We can change too, my friends.

We can enjoy the photo card —something that wasn’t easily available in the olden days and frankly in some ways is more personal than printed stationary with new initials (barf — and fwiw I did this, but in retrospect it feels silly and anachronistic). We can smile at their photo. We can stop clinging to The Old Ways and decide to root for young couples instead of judging them.

Or I guess we can keep judging. But I know which way happiness lies!

A photo is not the issue. We've received several photo thank yous over the last few years. The photo cards also had a brief, thoughtful thank you.

Anonymous wrote:I am solidly Team OP. When I am fortunate enough to be invited to a wedding, not only do I try to find a registry gift that seems meaningful (and is expensive) or I give a generous check. I ALSO take time to hand write a note that is personal and celebrates the couple, the event, and their future together. I am gracious at the even, thank the couple and any parent hosts for including me, etc.

I don’t think it is too much to ask that adults who are old enough to get married, have a fancy and expensive wedding, and expect (yes, of course they do) gifts to spend a whole 5-7 minutes to hand write a thank you note that shows gratitude for the effort I (and every other guest) put into their wedding. Same for bar/bat mitzvahs, confirmations, quincieneras, sweet sixteens, graduations, etc.

I’m old, I guess, and tired of living in what feels more and more like a transactional social environment where nothing has any human touch anymore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look. Historically it was women who wrote the thank you letters. I have never met a man who would write a thank you letter, let alone take the time to figure out what everybody sent and come up with a few sentences on how he planned to use it.

And maybe that made sense when women stayed at home, and relationships were their responsibility.

But now with women working full time, it’s ridiculous to expect them to also spend hours on this unpaid labor that no man would ever do. They (or really, she, because I’m guessing the wife did this) are smart for finding a solution that requires little time yet still got the thank you note out.

Gotta love this new generation. Not too busy to plan a big expensive wedding and fill out that registry, but too busy and entitled to be bothered with sending a proper thank you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look. Historically it was women who wrote the thank you letters. I have never met a man who would write a thank you letter, let alone take the time to figure out what everybody sent and come up with a few sentences on how he planned to use it.

And maybe that made sense when women stayed at home, and relationships were their responsibility.

But now with women working full time, it’s ridiculous to expect them to also spend hours on this unpaid labor that no man would ever do. They (or really, she, because I’m guessing the wife did this) are smart for finding a solution that requires little time yet still got the thank you note out.

Gotta love this new generation. Not too busy to plan a big expensive wedding and fill out that registry, but too busy and entitled to be bothered with sending a proper thank you.

Anonymous wrote:“Proper thank you”. There it is. The point is that one’s definition of “proper” is subjective and changes with time.

We can change too, my friends.

We can enjoy the photo card —something that wasn’t easily available in the olden days and frankly in some ways is more personal than printed stationary with new initials (barf — and fwiw I did this, but in retrospect it feels silly and anachronistic). We can smile at their photo. We can stop clinging to The Old Ways and decide to root for young couples instead of judging them.

Or I guess we can keep judging. But I know which way happiness lies!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look. Historically it was women who wrote the thank you letters. I have never met a man who would write a thank you letter, let alone take the time to figure out what everybody sent and come up with a few sentences on how he planned to use it.

And maybe that made sense when women stayed at home, and relationships were their responsibility.

But now with women working full time, it’s ridiculous to expect them to also spend hours on this unpaid labor that no man would ever do. They (or really, she, because I’m guessing the wife did this) are smart for finding a solution that requires little time yet still got the thank you note out.

Gotta love this new generation. Not too busy to plan a big expensive wedding and fill out that registry, but too busy and entitled to be bothered with sending a proper thank you.

Anonymous wrote:Look. Historically it was women who wrote the thank you letters. I have never met a man who would write a thank you letter, let alone take the time to figure out what everybody sent and come up with a few sentences on how he planned to use it.

And maybe that made sense when women stayed at home, and relationships were their responsibility.

But now with women working full time, it’s ridiculous to expect them to also spend hours on this unpaid labor that no man would ever do. They (or really, she, because I’m guessing the wife did this) are smart for finding a solution that requires little time yet still got the thank you note out.