Anonymous
02/14/2026 15:54
Subject: Freshman is really unhappy, how typical is this?
OP, any update? I was following this thread and think there was a lot of good advice in here (along with the usual not-so-helpful). Your DD sounds like an amazing person and I'm sorry she ran into a rejection buzzsaw (that frankly would've been difficult for anyone). Hoping for the best and fingers are crossed!
Anonymous
02/07/2026 18:01
Subject: Freshman is really unhappy, how typical is this?
Anonymous wrote:What about trying study abroad this summer or fall with students from her current school? That might present an opportunity to build new friendships and feel better connected.
Or perhaps get a job on campus? That might be another way to make friends and build a social circle.
Are there any church groups or community service groups? Those tend to attract nice kids who are friendly and welcoming.
+1 My kid found some friends in a religious/cultural affinity group and during a college trip abroad. It’s hard to be rejected by pre-professional clubs, but students can still attend their events.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 17:58
Subject: Freshman is really unhappy, how typical is this?
What about trying study abroad this summer or fall with students from her current school? That might present an opportunity to build new friendships and feel better connected.
Or perhaps get a job on campus? That might be another way to make friends and build a social circle.
Are there any church groups or community service groups? Those tend to attract nice kids who are friendly and welcoming.
Or perhaps get a job on campus? That might be another way to make friends and build a social circle.
Are there any church groups or community service groups? Those tend to attract nice kids who are friendly and welcoming.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 17:42
Subject: Freshman is really unhappy, how typical is this?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My kid just tried to rush the pre-med fraternity at UVA. They take 30 new members. It's an undergrad population of 17K kids. So about 450 kids showed up last week and the acceptance rate this spring is going to be 5%. The 30 are chosen after writing 5 essays, going to 5 open rush events and then being whittled down through a series of closed rush events and interviews--basically a total of about 10 in-person things.
It's ridiculous why a campus of 17K kids has 30 spots for something like this.
17k kids but how many are pre med? A thousand or so?
A frat house can’t hold 450 new kids each year, 30 is reasonable.
These kids have been raised in today’s competitive culture their whole lives. They like the clubs to be small so it seems more exclusive and prestigious. It is ridiculous.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 17:42
Subject: Freshman is really unhappy, how typical is this?
The club gatekeeping is brutal at top 30 schools. My kid was rejected by several clubs. I would encourage your daughter to seek out more inclusive clubs and affinity groups. Every campus has them. She may not be the only one on her campus who’s trying to find her people.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 17:06
Subject: Freshman is really unhappy, how typical is this?
Anonymous wrote:My kid just tried to rush the pre-med fraternity at UVA. They take 30 new members. It's an undergrad population of 17K kids. So about 450 kids showed up last week and the acceptance rate this spring is going to be 5%. The 30 are chosen after writing 5 essays, going to 5 open rush events and then being whittled down through a series of closed rush events and interviews--basically a total of about 10 in-person things.
It's ridiculous why a campus of 17K kids has 30 spots for something like this.
17k kids but how many are pre med? A thousand or so?
A frat house can’t hold 450 new kids each year, 30 is reasonable.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 15:44
Subject: Freshman is really unhappy, how typical is this?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Glad to know this is something to ask about before choosing a school. My kids would not be happy in this sort of environment.
They are all like this but they won't tell you on a tour or whatever.
Except they're not. There are many schools with a rejective club culture, and there are others without that culture.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 15:31
Subject: Freshman is really unhappy, how typical is this?
Anonymous wrote:The way to get into the competitive clubs is to “network” with ppl from your HS who already attend the school. Look at LinkedIn to see what clubs/greek life ppl are in before getting there.
Kids need to network and do this independently for the best experiences - first year or a transfer
And be HOT.
My daughter applied to a medical club with a 5% admit rate. Prior to the first round of cuts all the guys (not the girls, just the guys) in leadership "friended" her on Instagram. I guess she wasn't hot enough because she only got through one more round.
There was no point in the process where a resume was required.
These clubs are a popularity and/or looks contest first and foremost.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 15:21
Subject: Freshman is really unhappy, how typical is this?
Why did she pick the school? What did she like about it?
Anonymous
02/07/2026 15:19
Subject: Freshman is really unhappy, how typical is this?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The way to get into the competitive clubs is to “network” with ppl from your HS who already attend the school. Look at LinkedIn to see what clubs/greek life ppl are in before getting there.
Kids need to network and do this independently for the best experiences - first year or a transfer
Transferring doesn’t solve the networking problem.
It’s a fresh start. She might have more connections at other schools. And that will lead to better networking.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 15:18
Subject: Freshman is really unhappy, how typical is this?
Anonymous wrote:The way to get into the competitive clubs is to “network” with ppl from your HS who already attend the school. Look at LinkedIn to see what clubs/greek life ppl are in before getting there.
Kids need to network and do this independently for the best experiences - first year or a transfer
Transferring doesn’t solve the networking problem.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 15:16
Subject: Freshman is really unhappy, how typical is this?
The way to get into the competitive clubs is to “network” with ppl from your HS who already attend the school. Look at LinkedIn to see what clubs/greek life ppl are in before getting there.
Kids need to network and do this independently for the best experiences - first year or a transfer
Kids need to network and do this independently for the best experiences - first year or a transfer
Anonymous
02/07/2026 15:03
Subject: Freshman is really unhappy, how typical is this?
Anonymous wrote:Glad to know this is something to ask about before choosing a school. My kids would not be happy in this sort of environment.
They are all like this but they won't tell you on a tour or whatever.