Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A close friend who tends to be more savvy about these things told me over a holiday get-together she knows some families in our school who hire private consultants who plan the kids’ whole life since 7th grade: help them apply to or even write essays for summer programs, plan sports (plan competition schedule and travel if it’s an individual sport without team schedule, summer skill camps at Ivies), school club leadership (how to recruit members, plan highly visible activities, manage their Instagram to document large gatherings, accomplishments), all the way down to drafting weekly emails for the kid to send to coaches, professors and college tour guides, band leaders they met on tours or summer programs over 4 years to establish relationships in a strategic and unannoying way. These are all before helping them ace the SAT and write their application essays.

Another friend told me last year (she had older kids and know many parents who have been through the process in the past decade) private consultants are useless, that the ones she knew who use them are getting into T25-50 colleges after spending tens of thousands, but not the most selective ones, because the top ones see through the consultants’ finger prints all over an app.

So which is true? I know as with a lot of cases, the answer is “it depends”, perhaps a great consultant could do those things. We have zero plan to use one (we don’t even have a tutor!) but I’m so disheartened that DC who works so hard to get top grades, work so hard on weekends at his part time job is competing under these circumstances. If that’s true, I want to take my kids out of the game and just apply to Canada, which is where DH is from, where you shouldn’t have to play these games to get in.

Anyone BTDT has real insights?

If you have smart kids who read a lot and are generally curious, have them go about their way. Encourage good grades to the best of their ability (get tutors if necessary), require involvement in 1 inside of school and 1 outside of school activity - whatever they choose - it's their choice, and encourage active relationships with the teacher (including active participation).

In Jan of junior year, write out all activities, favorite teachers, favorite hobbies, and apply to some summer programs. Work on essays over the summer and make sure at least 3-4 activities align with the major (you don't pick the major in advance - look at your lists of activities, classes, and teachers to see where the natural and authentic alignment exists), then make a list of schools. Include 10 or so reach schools in RD if your kid is ambitious and aiming for T20.

Followed this for 2 kids so far.
Ivy (pt job forever for this one)
and
T10.

Absolutely no "curation". Allowed their natural interests to come through. And their supplemental essays were filled with intellectual curiosity because they actually cared/lived those interests.

Will you share what kind of part time job and was it during the school year or summer? DC wants to keep working his summer job which we support, but also feel he's missing out on other summer opportunites. It's also a job that's pretty common and lots of people discount as not interesting enough. :/

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister in bay area paid upwards of $200k for each of her kids for college counseling and I had a first hand view into how much stress both my nieces went through. Every single aspect of their high school experience was micro managed. Oldest got into Washington University spent the first year trying to transfer out but ended up gradating there. The younger one at Boston College and was utterly devastated and took a long time to recover.

We refused to pay that kind of money and we are paying $6k for the essays and guidance. In at UVA, so we are quite happy, but have a few T20 apps in. Fingers crossed.

Pay $200k to get into Boston College??!!

Why did the other not like WashU?

Both were shooting for Stanford and Yale/Harvard. The counselor was a former Stanford AO.

It is more disappointment that after working so hard, both had near perfect GPA's, high test scores, high rigor, EC's, etc. that you could not get into T20. It was insane how much Stanford looms over them. Younger got into UC San Diego, but could not bear to go there as lots of kids from same HS with much lower stats/EC's ended up there and it seemed a let down.

It is heart breaking to see people you love go through this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister in bay area paid upwards of $200k for each of her kids for college counseling and I had a first hand view into how much stress both my nieces went through. Every single aspect of their high school experience was micro managed. Oldest got into Washington University spent the first year trying to transfer out but ended up gradating there. The younger one at Boston College and was utterly devastated and took a long time to recover.

We refused to pay that kind of money and we are paying $6k for the essays and guidance. In at UVA, so we are quite happy, but have a few T20 apps in. Fingers crossed.

Pay $200k to get into Boston College??!!

Why did the other not like WashU?

Both were shooting for Stanford and Yale/Harvard. The counselor was a former Stanford AO.

It is more disappointment that after working so hard, both had near perfect GPA's, high test scores, high rigor, EC's, etc. that you could not get into T20. It was insane how much Stanford looms over them. Younger got into UC San Diego, but could not bear to go there as lots of kids from same HS with much lower stats/EC's ended up there and it seemed a let down.

It is heart breaking to see people you love go through this.

Wow I can think of a much different word than “heartbreaking.” Smh.

Not sure what word you wanted to use, but I have a lot of compassion for the kids.

There is no guaranteed way to get into Stanford or any of the Ivies, sadly. That doesn’t mean some kids don’t but their butts trying. It’s tragic because they tie way too much of their sense of self to what schools they get into.

From the amount of money spent, I’m guessing the zaps could smell “over-coached application” from a mile away.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister in bay area paid upwards of $200k for each of her kids for college counseling and I had a first hand view into how much stress both my nieces went through. Every single aspect of their high school experience was micro managed. Oldest got into Washington University spent the first year trying to transfer out but ended up gradating there. The younger one at Boston College and was utterly devastated and took a long time to recover.

We refused to pay that kind of money and we are paying $6k for the essays and guidance. In at UVA, so we are quite happy, but have a few T20 apps in. Fingers crossed.

Pay $200k to get into Boston College??!!

Why did the other not like WashU?

Both were shooting for Stanford and Yale/Harvard. The counselor was a former Stanford AO.

It is more disappointment that after working so hard, both had near perfect GPA's, high test scores, high rigor, EC's, etc. that you could not get into T20. It was insane how much Stanford looms over them. Younger got into UC San Diego, but could not bear to go there as lots of kids from same HS with much lower stats/EC's ended up there and it seemed a let down.

It is heart breaking to see people you love go through this.

Wow I can think of a much different word than “heartbreaking.” Smh.

Not sure what word you wanted to use, but I have a lot of compassion for the kids.

There is no guaranteed way to get into Stanford or any of the Ivies, sadly. That doesn’t mean some kids don’t but their butts trying. It’s tragic because they tie way too much of their sense of self to what schools they get into.

From the amount of money spent, I’m guessing the zaps could smell “over-coached application” from a mile away.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister in bay area paid upwards of $200k for each of her kids for college counseling and I had a first hand view into how much stress both my nieces went through. Every single aspect of their high school experience was micro managed. Oldest got into Washington University spent the first year trying to transfer out but ended up gradating there. The younger one at Boston College and was utterly devastated and took a long time to recover.

We refused to pay that kind of money and we are paying $6k for the essays and guidance. In at UVA, so we are quite happy, but have a few T20 apps in. Fingers crossed.

Pay $200k to get into Boston College??!!

Why did the other not like WashU?

Both were shooting for Stanford and Yale/Harvard. The counselor was a former Stanford AO.

It is more disappointment that after working so hard, both had near perfect GPA's, high test scores, high rigor, EC's, etc. that you could not get into T20. It was insane how much Stanford looms over them. Younger got into UC San Diego, but could not bear to go there as lots of kids from same HS with much lower stats/EC's ended up there and it seemed a let down.

It is heart breaking to see people you love go through this.

Your kids were not smart enough or did not take the hardest courses. Genuine top kids with max rigor and As without tutors, top 1% scores on unprepped PSAT or other normed tests can get in to T20 without a problem, no hooks, no private counselors. All of mine have as well as many of their top few in the class friends at a variety of magnets and privates. One of mine got into multiple T10/ivy no hooks because they were the best student from their school in addition to all the rest.
Parents should not encourage their non-naturally-top 1% or maybe 2% students to go for these top schools. They are not for them. Aim lower.

Stop with your constant messaging of "non-natural top 1%" and go back to wherever you were born. That's not what top schools want. I'm a 2nd-generation Indian American and have plenty of experience with "top schools" (probably much more than you in my family) and this "aim lower" bs you are constantly espousing here. Get a life.

Top schools want interesting and interested students. Self-driven. A B here or there is not a deterrent (and wasn't for my kids).
Get out of your CS/STEM bubble.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister in bay area paid upwards of $200k for each of her kids for college counseling and I had a first hand view into how much stress both my nieces went through. Every single aspect of their high school experience was micro managed. Oldest got into Washington University spent the first year trying to transfer out but ended up gradating there. The younger one at Boston College and was utterly devastated and took a long time to recover.

We refused to pay that kind of money and we are paying $6k for the essays and guidance. In at UVA, so we are quite happy, but have a few T20 apps in. Fingers crossed.

Pay $200k to get into Boston College??!!

Why did the other not like WashU?

Both were shooting for Stanford and Yale/Harvard. The counselor was a former Stanford AO.

It is more disappointment that after working so hard, both had near perfect GPA's, high test scores, high rigor, EC's, etc. that you could not get into T20. It was insane how much Stanford looms over them. Younger got into UC San Diego, but could not bear to go there as lots of kids from same HS with much lower stats/EC's ended up there and it seemed a let down.

It is heart breaking to see people you love go through this.

Wow I can think of a much different word than “heartbreaking.” Smh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister in bay area paid upwards of $200k for each of her kids for college counseling and I had a first hand view into how much stress both my nieces went through. Every single aspect of their high school experience was micro managed. Oldest got into Washington University spent the first year trying to transfer out but ended up gradating there. The younger one at Boston College and was utterly devastated and took a long time to recover.

We refused to pay that kind of money and we are paying $6k for the essays and guidance. In at UVA, so we are quite happy, but have a few T20 apps in. Fingers crossed.

Pay $200k to get into Boston College??!!

Why did the other not like WashU?

Both were shooting for Stanford and Yale/Harvard. The counselor was a former Stanford AO.

It is more disappointment that after working so hard, both had near perfect GPA's, high test scores, high rigor, EC's, etc. that you could not get into T20. It was insane how much Stanford looms over them. Younger got into UC San Diego, but could not bear to go there as lots of kids from same HS with much lower stats/EC's ended up there and it seemed a let down.

It is heart breaking to see people you love go through this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister in bay area paid upwards of $200k for each of her kids for college counseling and I had a first hand view into how much stress both my nieces went through. Every single aspect of their high school experience was micro managed. Oldest got into Washington University spent the first year trying to transfer out but ended up gradating there. The younger one at Boston College and was utterly devastated and took a long time to recover.

We refused to pay that kind of money and we are paying $6k for the essays and guidance. In at UVA, so we are quite happy, but have a few T20 apps in. Fingers crossed.

Pay $200k to get into Boston College??!!

Why did the other not like WashU?

Both were shooting for Stanford and Yale/Harvard. The counselor was a former Stanford AO.

It is more disappointment that after working so hard, both had near perfect GPA's, high test scores, high rigor, EC's, etc. that you could not get into T20. It was insane how much Stanford looms over them. Younger got into UC San Diego, but could not bear to go there as lots of kids from same HS with much lower stats/EC's ended up there and it seemed a let down.

It is heart breaking to see people you love go through this.

Well WashU is a top 20! Did they get a refund from that former Stanford AO? Are they Asian applying to CS by any chance?

Of course, no refund. Not Asian and not CS either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister in bay area paid upwards of $200k for each of her kids for college counseling and I had a first hand view into how much stress both my nieces went through. Every single aspect of their high school experience was micro managed. Oldest got into Washington University spent the first year trying to transfer out but ended up gradating there. The younger one at Boston College and was utterly devastated and took a long time to recover.

We refused to pay that kind of money and we are paying $6k for the essays and guidance. In at UVA, so we are quite happy, but have a few T20 apps in. Fingers crossed.

Pay $200k to get into Boston College??!!

Why did the other not like WashU?

Both were shooting for Stanford and Yale/Harvard. The counselor was a former Stanford AO.

It is more disappointment that after working so hard, both had near perfect GPA's, high test scores, high rigor, EC's, etc. that you could not get into T20. It was insane how much Stanford looms over them. Younger got into UC San Diego, but could not bear to go there as lots of kids from same HS with much lower stats/EC's ended up there and it seemed a let down.

It is heart breaking to see people you love go through this.

Well WashU is a top 20! Did they get a refund from that former Stanford AO? Are they Asian applying to CS by any chance?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A close friend who tends to be more savvy about these things told me over a holiday get-together she knows some families in our school who hire private consultants who plan the kids’ whole life since 7th grade: help them apply to or even write essays for summer programs, plan sports (plan competition schedule and travel if it’s an individual sport without team schedule, summer skill camps at Ivies), school club leadership (how to recruit members, plan highly visible activities, manage their Instagram to document large gatherings, accomplishments), all the way down to drafting weekly emails for the kid to send to coaches, professors and college tour guides, band leaders they met on tours or summer programs over 4 years to establish relationships in a strategic and unannoying way. These are all before helping them ace the SAT and write their application essays.

Another friend told me last year (she had older kids and know many parents who have been through the process in the past decade) private consultants are useless, that the ones she knew who use them are getting into T25-50 colleges after spending tens of thousands, but not the most selective ones, because the top ones see through the consultants’ finger prints all over an app.

So which is true? I know as with a lot of cases, the answer is “it depends”, perhaps a great consultant could do those things. We have zero plan to use one (we don’t even have a tutor!) but I’m so disheartened that DC who works so hard to get top grades, work so hard on weekends at his part time job is competing under these circumstances. If that’s true, I want to take my kids out of the game and just apply to Canada, which is where DH is from, where you shouldn’t have to play these games to get in.

Anyone BTDT has real insights?

If you have smart kids who read a lot and are generally curious, have them go about their way. Encourage good grades to the best of their ability (get tutors if necessary), require involvement in 1 inside of school and 1 outside of school activity - whatever they choose - it's their choice, and encourage active relationships with the teacher (including active participation).

In Jan of junior year, write out all activities, favorite teachers, favorite hobbies, and apply to some summer programs. Work on essays over the summer and make sure at least 3-4 activities align with the major (you don't pick the major in advance - look at your lists of activities, classes, and teachers to see where the natural and authentic alignment exists), then make a list of schools. Include 10 or so reach schools in RD if your kid is ambitious and aiming for T20.

Followed this for 2 kids so far.
Ivy (pt job forever for this one)
and
T10.

Absolutely no "curation". Allowed their natural interests to come through. And their supplemental essays were filled with intellectual curiosity because they actually cared/lived those interests.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A close friend who tends to be more savvy about these things told me over a holiday get-together she knows some families in our school who hire private consultants who plan the kids’ whole life since 7th grade: help them apply to or even write essays for summer programs, plan sports (plan competition schedule and travel if it’s an individual sport without team schedule, summer skill camps at Ivies), school club leadership (how to recruit members, plan highly visible activities, manage their Instagram to document large gatherings, accomplishments), all the way down to drafting weekly emails for the kid to send to coaches, professors and college tour guides, band leaders they met on tours or summer programs over 4 years to establish relationships in a strategic and unannoying way. These are all before helping them ace the SAT and write their application essays.

Another friend told me last year (she had older kids and know many parents who have been through the process in the past decade) private consultants are useless, that the ones she knew who use them are getting into T25-50 colleges after spending tens of thousands, but not the most selective ones, because the top ones see through the consultants’ finger prints all over an app.

So which is true? I know as with a lot of cases, the answer is “it depends”, perhaps a great consultant could do those things. We have zero plan to use one (we don’t even have a tutor!) but I’m so disheartened that DC who works so hard to get top grades, work so hard on weekends at his part time job is competing under these circumstances. If that’s true, I want to take my kids out of the game and just apply to Canada, which is where DH is from, where you shouldn’t have to play these games to get in.

Anyone BTDT has real insights?

If you have smart kids who read a lot and are generally curious, have them go about their way. Encourage good grades to the best of their ability (get tutors if necessary), require involvement in 1 inside of school and 1 outside of school activity - whatever they choose - it's their choice, and encourage active relationships with the teacher (including active participation).

In Jan of junior year, write out all activities, favorite teachers, favorite hobbies, and apply to some summer programs. Work on essays over the summer and make sure at least 3-4 activities align with the major (you don't pick the major in advance - look at your lists of activities, classes, and teachers to see where the natural and authentic alignment exists), then make a list of schools. Include 10 or so reach schools in RD if your kid is ambitious and aiming for T20.

Followed this for 2 kids so far.
Ivy (pt job forever for this one)
and
T10.

Absolutely no "curation". Allowed their natural interests to come through. And their supplemental essays were filled with intellectual curiosity because they actually cared/lived those interests.