Anonymous
Post 11/14/2025 08:38     Subject: I feel sorry for the tweens without phones
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Stanford did a study recently and found no connection between the age a child acquired a cell phone and their wellbeing, mental health or grades. Other large studies have found the same.


Citations?

I would like to read these. I have access to a good university library so can get almost anything in the refereed literature.


DP. Do you live under a rock?? There are studies everywhere about this.

Read “The Anxious Generation”
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2025 08:36     Subject: I feel sorry for the tweens without phones
Anonymous wrote:My DD had a phone in middle school with some restrictions, but two of her good friends had parents who waited until high school to give them phones. Now that they are seniors, these kids both had good social lives and are among the most well-adjusted and mature teens I know. You sound really judgy, OP. Maybe you feel insecure as a parent?


+100

It’s the best thing not to have one. Delay, delay, delay.

None of the social media inventors/execs let their own children have iPhones. That should tell you something.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2025 08:33     Subject: I feel sorry for the tweens without phones
Anonymous wrote:Stanford did a study recently and found no connection between the age a child acquired a cell phone and their wellbeing, mental health or grades. Other large studies have found the same.


I absolutely don't believe you

Put up your cite
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2025 08:32     Subject: I feel sorry for the tweens without phones
Anonymous wrote:It's a good way to keep the kids out of the "fast" crowd until at least high school.


+1 they’ll be better off in the long run
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2025 08:14     Subject: I feel sorry for the tweens without phones
Anonymous wrote:Stanford did a study recently and found no connection between the age a child acquired a cell phone and their wellbeing, mental health or grades. Other large studies have found the same.


Citations?

I would like to read these. I have access to a good university library so can get almost anything in the refereed literature.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2025 07:12     Subject: I feel sorry for the tweens without phones
This post is stupid and just a way for this mom to feel better. Kids do not need phones at that age and their memtal health will be ten times bettee by not having one. Even as an adult it has bern bad for my mental health. I feel super lucky that was not an option for me.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2025 07:08     Subject: I feel sorry for the tweens without phones
Stanford did a study recently and found no connection between the age a child acquired a cell phone and their wellbeing, mental health or grades. Other large studies have found the same.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2025 07:04     Subject: I feel sorry for the tweens without phones
To do this successfUlly you need a social group for your kid where all the parents don’t give phones. OP, your kid isn’t in *that* group; the kids without phones are in more than one group. Tell your kid to use good manners like inviting at school but don’t worry the kids without phones are fine.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2025 07:00     Subject: I feel sorry for the tweens without phones
Timely reminder from DCUM of why parents don’t give 13 y/os phones.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1301327.page
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2025 00:34     Subject: I feel sorry for the tweens without phones
My 13 year old (just turned 13) doesn’t want one! She texts and plays with friends on her iPad. She feels devices too easily get stollen or broken at school (since they go in backpacks), at soccer, or on the bus. It would help me when she heads off with friends and wants independence.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2025 00:33     Subject: Re:I feel sorry for the tweens without phones
I didn’t read the replies but I have 3 kids in high school- and in 8th grade, nearly all of their friends had a way to communicate outside of the parents. Most had phones, but a few may very well still have been using iCloud to text on the iPad at home. Not sure.

One of my kids had a friend who was expressly forbidden to communicate in any of those ways and it was a PITA in terms of arranging plans. I do think the friend was left out of some things- especially more last minute plans- because it would always involve specially calling or texting the mother. Adding an extra step/inconvenience.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2025 23:46     Subject: I feel sorry for the tweens without phones
Anonymous wrote:Some of this is a class thing. We were at a Title 1 elementary school for a while and many of the lower income kids had phones early, while the UMC parents held off.

Now in a wealthiest school district and none of the kids have phones in elementary, and watches are the norm for middle school.

The gap between these groups is going to be massive in adulthood.


The phones are the smallest factor in this gap. It’s laughable that you think low income kids will be different becduse they had a phone. So much stuff is different!
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2025 23:09     Subject: I feel sorry for the tweens without phones
My DD had a phone in middle school with some restrictions, but two of her good friends had parents who waited until high school to give them phones. Now that they are seniors, these kids both had good social lives and are among the most well-adjusted and mature teens I know. You sound really judgy, OP. Maybe you feel insecure as a parent?
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2025 20:42     Subject: Re:I feel sorry for the tweens without phones
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think all the no phones before high school people read the same book (the anxious generation) and think they’re in on some secret, but really it’s just a new way for UMC people to judge others. I think the apple watch has become the acceptable item if any for this set. I don’t care what people do, but I do not think there’s any inherent harm in kids talking or FaceTiming on a cell phone (or watch, whatever you want!) as that is the equivalent to our generation talking on the house phone. By 8th grade, it’s nice for kids to make their own plans and confirm them with their parents rather than it being parent-led.


You are correct that there is no harm in being able to text and FaceTime to make their own plans. It’s all the other stuff that one can do on a phone that’s harmful. If only these companies would make a device that only has texting, calling and music.


Yes, we emphasize that the phone is a communication device. So if she’s talking with friends or even texting, she can have a decent amount of flexibility, like what I had when I spent hours talking to friends when I was a teen. But no social media and we severely limit the time for other apps like games etc.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2025 16:00     Subject: Re:I feel sorry for the tweens without phones
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think all the no phones before high school people read the same book (the anxious generation) and think they’re in on some secret, but really it’s just a new way for UMC people to judge others. I think the apple watch has become the acceptable item if any for this set. I don’t care what people do, but I do not think there’s any inherent harm in kids talking or FaceTiming on a cell phone (or watch, whatever you want!) as that is the equivalent to our generation talking on the house phone. By 8th grade, it’s nice for kids to make their own plans and confirm them with their parents rather than it being parent-led.


You are correct that there is no harm in being able to text and FaceTime to make their own plans. It’s all the other stuff that one can do on a phone that’s harmful. If only these companies would make a device that only has texting, calling and music.


This may shock you, but you can put on parental controls so your kids cant download any apps without approval, preventing their social media use if you choose to do so. You can also put time limits on specific apps.


NP. I put time limits on my daughter’s social media apps but somehow she is able to circumvent them. They just don’t work.


Ours don't have the social media apps at all. And we have our apple account set to download to the parents phone any new app that is downloaded on another device. It's great. So any new app they download (even if they later delete it) downloads to our phone. Also, they don't know the apple ID password to download apps anyway.

Also, mine know if they try to circumvent the rules, they will lose the phone entirely and that I don't play.