Anonymous
Post 09/16/2025 17:21     Subject: Calling DH's new GF
We don't actually know that he didn't do exactly that. I have a friend whose husband told her multiple times over two years that he thought their marriage was not working and he wanted to discuss a separation (and this was after numerous earlier crises in their marriage). Each time she managed to persuade him to stay. She told him he owed it to her to give their marriage more time and to work on things. He finally said he was moving out and she called me, crying, saying this came as a complete shock, she thought they were committed to staying married.

I was/am sympathetic to her pain, but I also thought, girl, he has been telling you he is unhappy for years! How can this possibly be such a shock?
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2025 16:51     Subject: Calling DH's new GF
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You can’t make someone love you and you can’t make someone want to be married to you, OP. Even if you could persuade your husband to come back and try again, it would be a disaster. When someone isn’t happy, they’re not happy. Let him go. And get into therapy yourself, to try to better understand what happened in your marriage, what part with you, what part was him, and how to move on and find someone knew who love and appreciate you.


GMAFB

She deserves an explanation … love blah blah blah lol, no… he loved his wife and probably still does and just needs to stroke his ego with a younger chick.

It’s not complicated and it’s not a a sparks novel.


Oh, come on. He may very well still love her, but it ain’t the right kind of love anymore. He does not want to be married with her. He wants to be living on his own and having sex with someone else. That sucks for her, but it is what it is.

And what “explanation” would possibly make her feel better? Would she feel better if he said, “yes, I’ve been having an affair for the last decade”? Would she feel better if he said, “I didn’t have an affair, but I’ve been miserable for the last decade and I jumped into bed and fell in love with the first woman who made me feel alive again”? If he said, “you’re a terrible person, and I’ve hated being married to you and you’ve never been willing to listen to me when I tried to address our issues”? Would that make her feel better? Even if he said, “it’s all my fault, you’re a saint and I’m a horrible person, but I’m still not coming back to live with you because I just don’t want to,” would she really feel better?

He’s gone. It is what it is.

Move on.


Yes, after multiple decades and raising your children, you can give me the hard truth except you should’ve probably told me when it was happening. But yes, she deserves more than being ghosted.

I didn’t say he hasn’t gone. I didn’t say she shouldn’t move on. I’m just saying anybody that ghosts a wife or husband of decades is a piece a piece of 💩 .

Normal loving adults can sit down and have a hard conversation. You clearly don’t understand that.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2025 15:03     Subject: Calling DH's new GF
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You can’t make someone love you and you can’t make someone want to be married to you, OP. Even if you could persuade your husband to come back and try again, it would be a disaster. When someone isn’t happy, they’re not happy. Let him go. And get into therapy yourself, to try to better understand what happened in your marriage, what part with you, what part was him, and how to move on and find someone knew who love and appreciate you.


GMAFB

She deserves an explanation … love blah blah blah lol, no… he loved his wife and probably still does and just needs to stroke his ego with a younger chick.

It’s not complicated and it’s not a a sparks novel.


Oh, come on. He may very well still love her, but it ain’t the right kind of love anymore. He does not want to be married with her. He wants to be living on his own and having sex with someone else. That sucks for her, but it is what it is.

And what “explanation” would possibly make her feel better? Would she feel better if he said, “yes, I’ve been having an affair for the last decade”? Would she feel better if he said, “I didn’t have an affair, but I’ve been miserable for the last decade and I jumped into bed and fell in love with the first woman who made me feel alive again”? If he said, “you’re a terrible person, and I’ve hated being married to you and you’ve never been willing to listen to me when I tried to address our issues”? Would that make her feel better? Even if he said, “it’s all my fault, you’re a saint and I’m a horrible person, but I’m still not coming back to live with you because I just don’t want to,” would she really feel better?

He’s gone. It is what it is.

Move on.