Anonymous
Post 09/09/2025 13:32     Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I had no idea so many women are so triggered by another woman asking where their dress is from. Is this an east coast thing? I guess some women are really competitive with other women instead of helpful and open. That is so unfortunate. This may be a really good way to test who is a good friend or not. Ask where their dress is from and if they answer, you have a genuine, caring person. If they don’t, you have a pretentious, competitive weirdo. Choose which type of friend you prefer.


Sorry you just found out how rude and obnoxious your nosy questions are.


Can you please explain why this is thought of as rude and obnoxious?

Serious question.

Is it just because you don’t want someone copy? Or do you feel it reveals how much money you spend on clothes (which of course doesn’t necessarily correlate to how much money you have)?
Other?


Because there can be a wrong answer. Maybe I don’t shop at a cool store, or maybe I spent too much or too little and now you’re judging for it. And the askers are definitely judging as demonstrated here. It’s a party, just relax and make polite conversation with people you don’t know.


It's because she's insecure and likely very judgmental since she assumes everyone else is judging her, when in reality they don't care enough about her to bother and are just making conversation.


Ok. If that’s your best attempt at making conversation you should probably practice more. Do you often social anxiety?


You should stop day drinking as a hobby and try something more productive.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2025 13:31     Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Because Anthropologie is basic and people in Brooklyn want to be more unique.


Probably. Also it's possible they bought the clothes secondhand and did want to admit that.


Nah, buying secondhand is very cool in Brooklyn. Ethical and environmental.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2025 13:29     Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Anonymous wrote:Yes. Pretend you don't look up what your friends clothes cost. Like you don't look up their cars or homes.


This was my post, directed to the OP, and intended to be a well meaning joke. Since if she didn't realize some may be offended when she asks where they bought their clothes, it seemed maybe useful to point out people are also sometimes offended when you let them know you google. Thus advising her to pretend she doesn't.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2025 13:14     Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Anonymous wrote:Because Anthropologie is basic and people in Brooklyn want to be more unique.


Probably. Also it's possible they bought the clothes secondhand and did want to admit that.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2025 12:53     Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Anonymous wrote:OP asked where the dress was from and then googled it when the other part guest didn't tell her.

Are the posters horrified at googling someone's dress, also posters who find the question problematic?

Just curious


I’m someone who doesn’t want to be asked this question and your googling is none of my business and also I don’t mind.

I just don’t want to be put on the spot with a personal question! That’s all it is.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2025 12:47     Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
OP asked where the dress was from and then googled it when the other part guest didn't tell her.

Are the posters horrified at googling someone's dress, also posters who find the question problematic?

Just curious
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2025 11:16     Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I had no idea so many women are so triggered by another woman asking where their dress is from. Is this an east coast thing? I guess some women are really competitive with other women instead of helpful and open. That is so unfortunate. This may be a really good way to test who is a good friend or not. Ask where their dress is from and if they answer, you have a genuine, caring person. If they don’t, you have a pretentious, competitive weirdo. Choose which type of friend you prefer.


Sorry you just found out how rude and obnoxious your nosy questions are.


Can you please explain why this is thought of as rude and obnoxious?

Serious question.

Is it just because you don’t want someone copy? Or do you feel it reveals how much money you spend on clothes (which of course doesn’t necessarily correlate to how much money you have)?
Other?


Because there can be a wrong answer. Maybe I don’t shop at a cool store, or maybe I spent too much or too little and now you’re judging for it. And the askers are definitely judging as demonstrated here. It’s a party, just relax and make polite conversation with people you don’t know.


It's because she's insecure and likely very judgmental since she assumes everyone else is judging her, when in reality they don't care enough about her to bother and are just making conversation.


Ok. If that’s your best attempt at making conversation you should probably practice more. Do you often social anxiety?
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2025 11:15     Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I had no idea so many women are so triggered by another woman asking where their dress is from. Is this an east coast thing? I guess some women are really competitive with other women instead of helpful and open. That is so unfortunate. This may be a really good way to test who is a good friend or not. Ask where their dress is from and if they answer, you have a genuine, caring person. If they don’t, you have a pretentious, competitive weirdo. Choose which type of friend you prefer.


Sorry you just found out how rude and obnoxious your nosy questions are.


Can you please explain why this is thought of as rude and obnoxious?

Serious question.

Is it just because you don’t want someone copy? Or do you feel it reveals how much money you spend on clothes (which of course doesn’t necessarily correlate to how much money you have)?
Other?


Because there can be a wrong answer. Maybe I don’t shop at a cool store, or maybe I spent too much or too little and now you’re judging for it. And the askers are definitely judging as demonstrated here. It’s a party, just relax and make polite conversation with people you don’t know.


It's because she's insecure and likely very judgmental since she assumes everyone else is judging her, when in reality they don't care enough about her to bother and are just making conversation.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2025 11:07     Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Anonymous wrote:I’ve asked before but never to judge. I don’t care how little or how much you spent. It doesn’t affect what I think of you. It’s actually not about you at all. I ask because I genuinely like the item and am curious if it’s a store I haven’t shopped at before because I like finding new places. I’m not trying to copy and have never bought the same item but I am curious if I like that one thing from there, maybe it’s a place I may like the stuff in general. And maybe not.
But I will stop asking going forward because of all the projecting that seems to be going on.


Well, you’re a stranger. We don’t know if you’re the weirdo sizing people up who will pass the test or genuinely asking. Because you’re asking someone you just met at a party. So the answer is we don’t remember or don’t know.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2025 11:00     Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
I’ve asked before but never to judge. I don’t care how little or how much you spent. It doesn’t affect what I think of you. It’s actually not about you at all. I ask because I genuinely like the item and am curious if it’s a store I haven’t shopped at before because I like finding new places. I’m not trying to copy and have never bought the same item but I am curious if I like that one thing from there, maybe it’s a place I may like the stuff in general. And maybe not.
But I will stop asking going forward because of all the projecting that seems to be going on.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2025 10:55     Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What is BK? Is this Bethesda or some other striver neighborhood?

In my normal neighborhood, when someone compliments your outfit we’re quick to reply it’s from Amazon, it’s on sale, and oh here’s the link, go snatch one up!


op - brooklyn.

I'm manhattan where it's normal to compliment and then share where you got something. It was SO odd.



Apparently it wasn’t odd if it happened many times.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2025 10:52     Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I had no idea so many women are so triggered by another woman asking where their dress is from. Is this an east coast thing? I guess some women are really competitive with other women instead of helpful and open. That is so unfortunate. This may be a really good way to test who is a good friend or not. Ask where their dress is from and if they answer, you have a genuine, caring person. If they don’t, you have a pretentious, competitive weirdo. Choose which type of friend you prefer.


Sorry you just found out how rude and obnoxious your nosy questions are.


Can you please explain why this is thought of as rude and obnoxious?

Serious question.

Is it just because you don’t want someone copy? Or do you feel it reveals how much money you spend on clothes (which of course doesn’t necessarily correlate to how much money you have)?
Other?


Because there can be a wrong answer. Maybe I don’t shop at a cool store, or maybe I spent too much or too little and now you’re judging for it. And the askers are definitely judging as demonstrated here. It’s a party, just relax and make polite conversation with people you don’t know.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2025 10:47     Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
In all fairness, my "going out" clothing is mostly purchased by my mom who loves shopping...I actually don't know a lot of the brands and where she got things, other than they're nice. She shops at sample sales and The Real Real and used to go a lot to places like the old Filene's Basement in Boston and Loehmann's.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2025 10:45     Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
I never remember where my things are from. And I don't think anyone in my life ever asks. They just compliment what I'm wearing.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2025 10:43     Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Anonymous wrote:Most likely it was purchased from a theft store and she just didn't want to say...?


What is a theft store? Do you mean a thrift? If it's from the thrift, you'll still have a label and know where it originally came from or the brand.