OP here back with another update. She has had zero accidents in a month. I am so excited. I think it had a lot to do with being comfortable with us and us knowing when she has to use the bathroom. The kids can now notice when she has to go and it’s so helpful. I do the long morning and afternoon walk with her. I let the family do the other walks. It gives me a break and they need to bond with her too. She is horrific on a leash. I bought a prong, harness, collar, and nothing helps her walking. She will literally pull while walking on two legs. Yes, I need more training than her on how do walk her. I think a person on here thought I chain her to the backyard for long periods of time but I don’t. It’s for ten minutes at a time for the periods where I have to grab something from the car, take the trash to the curb, check the mail at the end of the driveway. She did amazing with the older bigger dog. Realized she does great one on one with dogs but does not like a big crowd of dogs. That is fine with me. She sleeps through the night and usually sleeps with one kid in their bed. She gets to decide which bed each night and it’s pretty cute watching her decide. Sleeping with me is a no go, sorry. If she sleeps in my room, she sleeps in the crate. She never chooses my room….. I appreciate the kind help and encouraging words and compassion. I also appreciate people telling me I am horrible and should have never gotten a dog. Nope I am not a dog person. I don’t think I need to utter the words I love you to her. I treat her with so much care and compassion. She follows me around still. She whines when I leave out the door. I get I am her go to person and that she is clingy to me. Yes I still get annoyed sometimes and need a break. The only thing I need to work on is the leash walking. I am also unsure about what to do regarding the fireworks. Fireworks went off for Juneteenth and she barked and was scared. We plan on seeing the fireworks with the kids. What can I do for her?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the same. When my dog and cat pass on, I will never own another animal. I don't understand why people are ok with following an animal around and picking up its poop. I got the dog because I love seeing people with their animals (the cat we inherited) - but I hate the smell and I especially hate having to plan my day around walking the dog. I have one hour in the morning before work - I could either lift weights and run or I can take the dog for a walk. But I have to walk the dog so my own health suffers. When I sit down to watch a movie in the evening, the dog wants to play. I'm a slave to the freaking dog.

OP here. This is my problem too. I want to work out in the morning, like intensely when the family is asleep but she needs to be walked. Then if she doesn’t poop, I have to watch her like a hawk to make sure she doesn’t poop in the house. She is not a dog that I can run with as she is small. That is why I asked another poster how long should I walk her to tire her out enough so that I can come home and work out?

Crate train her. Put her in a crate while you get your alone time. Give her a frozen kong stuffed with peanut butter, cream cheese, treats. That will keep her busy.

OP I'm glad that things are going better but you need to invest heavily in training. Now, not later. Find a very good trainer to work with. The trainer will be teaching you skills that you don't currently have.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give it back.

OP here. She has a good life. We are doing everything we need to do for her. I just find her annoying. Not sure that is a good enough reason to return her is it? She doesn’t know I find her annoying, I assume. She is very excited every time she sees me be it I am gone for work, get off the toilet, etc.

I know multiple people who have rehomed dogs. It’s not worth it, OP. Give it away.

Do not give your dog to a stranger. Go through a reputable shelter. People online troll for unwanted pets then torture them to death.

You don't have the gene for loving dogs.
https://www.livescience.com/65537-dog-affinity-dna.html
If you can't love her, you should return her. Or have an honest conversation with the family that someone else needs to step up because you don't love her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, this is life with a dog, which is why I don't have one. I grew up with outdoor pets who earned their keep. They killed rodents and scared off snakes and were good for security. We fed them once or twice a day, took them to the vet once a year, and brushed the dog's coat every once in a while. That was about it. If the dog developed an expensive health issue that lowered their quality of you, you put the dog down.

Now people walk their dogs multiple times a day, pick up their sh*t, let them lives in their houses, pay for expensive doggy day care when they go out of town, pay absurd vet bills set by hedge funds, etc. It's insane.

It does sound like dog might benefit from training. But yeah they are a lot of work.

This shift goes along with the whole bs "gentle training" movement, wherein you're supposed to ask your dog nicely and bribe them instead of demanding they comply because their feelings are more important than the results.

The good ol' days, when only people who knew what they were doing owned dogs and the dogs served a purpose beyond "living stuffed animal for emotionally-stunted adults" were better. Make Dog-Ownership Great Again, or something.

We probably have zero in common, politically. But I 100% agree with this. Dogs these days are annoying in ways they never were, and I think it is because most people do treat them as their emotional support animal, and not as a working member of the house hold (farm animal, guard dog etc). I love dogs, but I find many of my friends dogs annoying, because I am supposed to just be okay with their bad behavior.

Aww…I love my “living stuffed animal” dog. He has lots of jobs. He has to get my grumpy teens/tweens out of bed in the morning and into a good mood. He makes sure that I get my exercise every day. He is always happy and excited to see my autistic teen who doesn’t have any friends and often has a pretty rough day at school. He also makes said teen regulate his emotions. The dog doesn’t like any shouting in the house, and no one wants to upset that sweet little fuzzball.

He’s also helped us meet our neighbors. My parents take him occasionally, and he’s helped my dad get out of the house and meet his neighbors too.
He is a favorite toy when my 10 year old’s friends come over. He makes backyard games of football and soccer a lot more entertaining.

For a dog with no job, he is very busy!

Op, they make giant washable pee pads on Amazon. When our puppy was little we bought a bunch, yes it was pricy, to cover the carpets and floors to catch accidents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We all wanted a dog and we finally got one. It was the worse decision of my life. Why do people have dogs as pets? She is very…. Pointless? She just walks around and follows me all the damn time. I have to plan my entire day around her shitting, peeing, etc. I feel like a slave to this animal. I planned on calling off work tomorrow. I need a break! However, the thought of being home with this dog all day, after the weekend, is a no go. The family helps but I am her go to person. She is 9 months. Does it get better? Doggy daycare needed? Longer walks so she leaves me the hell alone after? She isn’t even a hyper dog. She is just always freaking there. I would much rather have 5 more kids to one dog. How do I try to like my dog? It’s been two months and I just view her as annoying. I am ok with you telling me I am a harsh person if I am but please also tell me what I can do to help her and me.

Ok - so, we don’t have a dog, however, when I was growing up, we got a puppy and my mom was a SAHM. Our dog was sweet, well behaved, and trained well but was also a regular golden retriever dog who needed walks, attention, etc. I remember very specifically my mom having a sit down with the family and saying she wanted to re home the dog because he was just too much during the day. My siblings and I were horrified but she was dead serious. I think my dad convinced her to keep the dog for us. My mom did grow to love the dog once he got a little older - I think around 2 or 3 years old he calmed down a lot- and then my mom really loved him for the next decade. Young dogs are a lot of work I think- mg mother was a very patient person and she was just sick of it too, like you are, right around the 9mo old mark!

Our dog calmed down around 2.5 and acts very differently for me vs my husband. The first few years are hard. They are little and need a lot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, it does get better. Can you pee train her in the house? We have a system in our bathroom and dog uses it a few times a day.

NP. What kind of system for your bathroom?

We have one of those tray systems with a grass mat. I put a fabric pee pad under the grass mat. I have a ton of grass mats and just wash them with dawn power soap after each pee and the pee pads every so often with bleach and laundry soap. You can get sample size grass mats online at Lowe’s or on Amazon. I started with them huge and now cut them much smaller so easy to wash. I also soak the grass mats weekly in dawn and vinegar. You could use disposable pee pads. We had a bunch around the house and now just in two spots as she got older. It’s helped a lot.

I was not a “dog person” before we got our little gal. But 5 years later, I am so glad we have her especially now that the kids are all grown and left the nest. I think getting her when the kids are high school age was the right decision. They helped out a lot with caring for her and walking her. DH is the alpha and the food person. I am her playmate and she keeps me company on the couch when I am winding down in the evening.

She is definitely a dog whose sole purpose is to be cute.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hang in there, it gets better but very slowly.
A fence for our back yard was/is an expensive but very helpful training & management tool

OP here. I forgot about this thread.... I am dying for a fence. I think that is a huge problem for me. Every time she is outside, someone has to be out there. She can not just be out there on her own because it is unsafe. So at 5am, I am out there rain, shine and cold. 9pm? I am out there rain, shine or cold. From the moment I wake up until I go to sleep, my day is revolved around her. I have a 50 ft leash and staked it to the ground but still, I do not feel comfortable enough to leave her out there unsupervised for even 5 minutes. Getting a fence is not an option though. Someone had mentioned to me about an electric collar but I do not know how it works and do not want to traumatize her. She is already so skittish and timid that it seems cruel to do so. Potty training has gotten much better. My entire house kept smelling like pee. I finally picked up out 8x10 carpet and realized that she has been peeing on it without our knowledge. There were pee stains all on the bottom. It was gross honestly. I threw it out. House smells better and her peeing in the house has eased up. Maybe an accident once a week... Yes, she still follows me everywhere. I sneeze and she runs over to check if I am ok. I stand up and she is at my feet. I have to get used to it. I shamefully take breaks in my car in the driveway. I like my me time. I do not want to rehome her. I am not treating her horribly. She is well taken care of. I like her. I may not love her. I think that is ok. We tried daycare once a week but it was horrible that we paused it. She just cried and trembled with the dogs and people. We will try later but it does not seem worth it right now.

OP, a dog that trembles, shakes, and is that skittish is either poorly bred or has been abused in the past. Chances are, that will never get any better. I'm sorry you are going through this, I used to have dogs but when my last one died of old age, I got a taste of freedom and decided I was over the constant day and night grind. I'm a super happy cat lady now. Sorry, but you have about 10 more years before you can get your life back.