Anonymous wrote:Varies by grade by NCS has them for sure.

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:For what is worth, I have three kids who have been in 12 different schools from grade K through HS, split evenly between private and public, we have found that mean/bullying behavior is mainly a private school phenomenon. We have seen it at every private school, not confined to one gender. Of course public school kids can be mean too, but they aren't able to take over the culture of a grade, and they don't have the power that the mean kids have in a private school. in public schools the kids police each other socially, in the same way that adults do in the real world. But in private school certain kids will always have power due to connected/donor/alumni parents, and other kids trade off that power by becoming friends with the "right" group, and that creates a caste system throughout the grade. So if you are wondering which private school is more "mean" than another, you are asking the wrong question. The better question is whether you are willing to risk your son/daughter being on the wrong side of that dynamic in exchange for the benefit(s) that you perceive of a private school.

12 different schools!? HUH??

Yes, three kids through elementary, middle school, and HS. One has special needs so he changed schools more than usual.
Let me guess - you’re a private school Mom?

I bet anything that the PP is the same one saying public school kids get better college matriculations. A master troll.

That’s not a useful response and is mean spirited. I thought PP made reasonable observations based on her experience; so much better than the speculation and heresay you often see.

NP: I thought all schools had mean girls and cliques, but my 2 kids' experiences at their public middle school has been remarkably drama-free.

My best guess as to why is excellent administrators, moderate size (not too small, not too big), good extracurriculars, and real diversity along several vectors. It seems that most kids feel they fit in somewhere.

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Anonymous wrote:Madeira is different because almost half the students board on campus. This changes the whole culture. There are plenty of local girls as well but because of the location, it doesn't draw has heavily from places like CC which have the most clique-y culture. Also many girls wind up at Madeira because of interest in the equestrian program and the option to board horses at the school, so you get girls from further out who grew up riding. It's its own thing.

This is very different from schools like Holton or HC where there is a community of families and girls regularly see each other outside of school and some may have grown up in the same neighborhoods, attended the same preschools or lower schools (if different) and yes may belong to the same country clubs or have done extra curricular together. And where parents may know each other and have their own cliques.

Even if your DD is a day student, Madeira is more of a boarding school experience than the other schools in the area. Day students are even assigned to one of the dorms on campus and will do meals and activities with that dorm.

DP. Interesting. All of the Madeira alums I know belonged or currently belong to Chevy, Met Club, etc...

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You'd be hard pressed to find a mean girl at Madeira.



Hard-pressed to find a mean girl at Madeira? There are mean girls at Madeira, just not as many as at some schools. Someone is obviously drinking the Madeira Kool-Aid and also smoking something while she drinks.

I dunno, PP. My daughter, who is quite sensitive and has definitely seen mean girl behaviors at her K-8, says that she has absolutely not met any mean girls at Madeira. She is rather in awe of that, actually.

+1. The kindness at Madeira is impressive. Not every girl is best friends, but they treat each other respectfully remarkably consistently for this age cohort. Have experienced the opposite elsewhere.

Madeira doesn't really have a lot of girls in the social scene of the DMV. They are not really part of the social scene. My kids do not know anyone that attends Madeira. It is a very separate world from the DC/MD social scene. That may be a good thing? Not sure but it is difficult to compare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:For what is worth, I have three kids who have been in 12 different schools from grade K through HS, split evenly between private and public, we have found that mean/bullying behavior is mainly a private school phenomenon. We have seen it at every private school, not confined to one gender. Of course public school kids can be mean too, but they aren't able to take over the culture of a grade, and they don't have the power that the mean kids have in a private school. in public schools the kids police each other socially, in the same way that adults do in the real world. But in private school certain kids will always have power due to connected/donor/alumni parents, and other kids trade off that power by becoming friends with the "right" group, and that creates a caste system throughout the grade. So if you are wondering which private school is more "mean" than another, you are asking the wrong question. The better question is whether you are willing to risk your son/daughter being on the wrong side of that dynamic in exchange for the benefit(s) that you perceive of a private school.

12 different schools!? HUH??

Yes, three kids through elementary, middle school, and HS. One has special needs so he changed schools more than usual.
Let me guess - you’re a private school Mom?

I bet anything that the PP is the same one saying public school kids get better college matriculations. A master troll.

That’s not a useful response and is mean spirited. I thought PP made reasonable observations based on her experience; so much better than the speculation and heresay you often see.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For what is worth, I have three kids who have been in 12 different schools from grade K through HS, split evenly between private and public, we have found that mean/bullying behavior is mainly a private school phenomenon. We have seen it at every private school, not confined to one gender. Of course public school kids can be mean too, but they aren't able to take over the culture of a grade, and they don't have the power that the mean kids have in a private school. in public schools the kids police each other socially, in the same way that adults do in the real world. But in private school certain kids will always have power due to connected/donor/alumni parents, and other kids trade off that power by becoming friends with the "right" group, and that creates a caste system throughout the grade. So if you are wondering which private school is more "mean" than another, you are asking the wrong question. The better question is whether you are willing to risk your son/daughter being on the wrong side of that dynamic in exchange for the benefit(s) that you perceive of a private school.

12 different schools!? HUH??

Yes, three kids through elementary, middle school, and HS. One has special needs so he changed schools more than usual.
Let me guess - you’re a private school Mom?

I bet anything that the PP is the same one saying public school kids get better college matriculations. A master troll.

That’s not a useful response and is mean spirited. I thought PP made reasonable observations based on her experience; so much better than the speculation and heresay you often see.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For what is worth, I have three kids who have been in 12 different schools from grade K through HS, split evenly between private and public, we have found that mean/bullying behavior is mainly a private school phenomenon. We have seen it at every private school, not confined to one gender. Of course public school kids can be mean too, but they aren't able to take over the culture of a grade, and they don't have the power that the mean kids have in a private school. in public schools the kids police each other socially, in the same way that adults do in the real world. But in private school certain kids will always have power due to connected/donor/alumni parents, and other kids trade off that power by becoming friends with the "right" group, and that creates a caste system throughout the grade. So if you are wondering which private school is more "mean" than another, you are asking the wrong question. The better question is whether you are willing to risk your son/daughter being on the wrong side of that dynamic in exchange for the benefit(s) that you perceive of a private school.

12 different schools!? HUH??

Yes, three kids through elementary, middle school, and HS. One has special needs so he changed schools more than usual.
Let me guess - you’re a private school Mom?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For what is worth, I have three kids who have been in 12 different schools from grade K through HS, split evenly between private and public, we have found that mean/bullying behavior is mainly a private school phenomenon. We have seen it at every private school, not confined to one gender. Of course public school kids can be mean too, but they aren't able to take over the culture of a grade, and they don't have the power that the mean kids have in a private school. in public schools the kids police each other socially, in the same way that adults do in the real world. But in private school certain kids will always have power due to connected/donor/alumni parents, and other kids trade off that power by becoming friends with the "right" group, and that creates a caste system throughout the grade. So if you are wondering which private school is more "mean" than another, you are asking the wrong question. The better question is whether you are willing to risk your son/daughter being on the wrong side of that dynamic in exchange for the benefit(s) that you perceive of a private school.

12 different schools!? HUH??

Yes, three kids through elementary, middle school, and HS. One has special needs so he changed schools more than usual.
Let me guess - you’re a private school Mom?

I bet anything that the PP is the same one saying public school kids get better college matriculations. A master troll.