Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the US, you grow up knowing you can never be a stay at home mom because you need two people working to provide your health insurance and pay bills.

SAHM is just for the elite.

No, most SAHP are people too poor to afford real childcare. The ones on DCUM represent a very small percentage, most SAHPs wouldn’t make enough money to afford decent prek and therefore can’t “afford” to work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're pleased with this? Better make sure when she grows up she's gorgeous with a hot bod so she can marry rich straight out of college, boo.

Or maybe she can just be a nice, well-rounded person that can hopefully one day meet a man who loves and respects her?

Love and respect is only enough if she’s going to pull her own weight financially. If she’s assuming a man will support her she’s going to need to bring something to the table. The financial statistics aren’t great here.

Wow. If you commodify everything in your life and things are only worth their monetary “value,” sure. That’s not most of us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're pleased with this? Better make sure when she grows up she's gorgeous with a hot bod so she can marry rich straight out of college, boo.

Or maybe she can just be a nice, well-rounded person that can hopefully one day meet a man who loves and respects her?

Love and respect is only enough if she’s going to pull her own weight financially. If she’s assuming a man will support her she’s going to need to bring something to the table. The financial statistics aren’t great here.

Anonymous wrote:In the US, you grow up knowing you can never be a stay at home mom because you need two people working to provide your health insurance and pay bills.

SAHM is just for the elite.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depending on the country, the man is expected to provide for the family. I was watching a documentary about men’s perspective and the US stood out with men not wanting to support their wives financially. Americans also don’t take care of their parents.

o

This rings true for me. My husband is originally from Bangladesh and we met when I was finishing undergrad. I remember he asked me what career I was interested in and I said I didn’t know. He said m, “no worries love you can be a really good stay at home mom.” I laughed at the time, but I have been a SAHM for several years. I don’t think I felt compelled saying that to my boyfriend until I met my now husband. My husband was finishing his masters when we got married. He’s 5 years older. I think this obsession with career vs SAHM is an American thing. I have worked PT on and off and would love to continue doing that but childcare is so tricky.

I often hear that a man is not the plan in America. In America, people seem to treat a marriage as not as forever. Divorce is normal. In my culture, a divorce is very shameful. The person you marry can very well be the most important decision.

Divorce shouldn’t be shameful when you have done nothing wrong. My ex decided that parenthood wasn’t for him. It cramped his style. He left and filed for divorce so he could live a life free of the responsibility of kids. Thankfully I was never financially dependent on him or I would’ve been homeless.

I would say you made a poor choice in choosing a spouse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depending on the country, the man is expected to provide for the family. I was watching a documentary about men’s perspective and the US stood out with men not wanting to support their wives financially. Americans also don’t take care of their parents.

o

This rings true for me. My husband is originally from Bangladesh and we met when I was finishing undergrad. I remember he asked me what career I was interested in and I said I didn’t know. He said m, “no worries love you can be a really good stay at home mom.” I laughed at the time, but I have been a SAHM for several years. I don’t think I felt compelled saying that to my boyfriend until I met my now husband. My husband was finishing his masters when we got married. He’s 5 years older. I think this obsession with career vs SAHM is an American thing. I have worked PT on and off and would love to continue doing that but childcare is so tricky.

I often hear that a man is not the plan in America. In America, people seem to treat a marriage as not as forever. Divorce is normal. In my culture, a divorce is very shameful. The person you marry can very well be the most important decision.

Divorce shouldn’t be shameful when you have done nothing wrong. My ex decided that parenthood wasn’t for him. It cramped his style. He left and filed for divorce so he could live a life free of the responsibility of kids. Thankfully I was never financially dependent on him or I would’ve been homeless.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depending on the country, the man is expected to provide for the family. I was watching a documentary about men’s perspective and the US stood out with men not wanting to support their wives financially. Americans also don’t take care of their parents.

o

This rings true for me. My husband is originally from Bangladesh and we met when I was finishing undergrad. I remember he asked me what career I was interested in and I said I didn’t know. He said m, “no worries love you can be a really good stay at home mom.” I laughed at the time, but I have been a SAHM for several years. I don’t think I felt compelled saying that to my boyfriend until I met my now husband. My husband was finishing his masters when we got married. He’s 5 years older. I think this obsession with career vs SAHM is an American thing. I have worked PT on and off and would love to continue doing that but childcare is so tricky.

I often hear that a man is not the plan in America. In America, people seem to treat a marriage as not as forever. Divorce is normal. In my culture, a divorce is very shameful. The person you marry can very well be the most important decision.

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious because DD is 5 and has been saying her dream job is to be a SAHM. We're pleased with this but don't know where she got the idea from. I did not stay home, both of her grandmothers still work full-time (though they stayed home for years when their kids were young), and all of our family friends and neighbors are 2 income households. She's had a nanny since birth who she loves, and DH and I have worked from home since she was several months old. Our conclusion is that she must have many friends at school with SAHMs.

Those of you who are SAHMs, at what age did you know you wanted to be one? Those who dreamed of being a SAHM when you were young, did you end up as one? As a child, I didn't dream of being a SAHM, though I wouldn't mind it now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depending on the country, the man is expected to provide for the family. I was watching a documentary about men’s perspective and the US stood out with men not wanting to support their wives financially. Americans also don’t take care of their parents.

o

This rings true for me. My husband is originally from Bangladesh and we met when I was finishing undergrad. I remember he asked me what career I was interested in and I said I didn’t know. He said m, “no worries love you can be a really good stay at home mom.” I laughed at the time, but I have been a SAHM for several years. I don’t think I felt compelled saying that to my boyfriend until I met my now husband. My husband was finishing his masters when we got married. He’s 5 years older. I think this obsession with career vs SAHM is an American thing. I have worked PT on and off and would love to continue doing that but childcare is so tricky.

I often hear that a man is not the plan in America. In America, people seem to treat a marriage as not as forever. Divorce is normal. In my culture, a divorce is very shameful. The person you marry can very well be the most important decision.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depending on the country, the man is expected to provide for the family. I was watching a documentary about men’s perspective and the US stood out with men not wanting to support their wives financially. Americans also don’t take care of their parents.

o

This rings true for me. My husband is originally from Bangladesh and we met when I was finishing undergrad. I remember he asked me what career I was interested in and I said I didn’t know. He said m, “no worries love you can be a really good stay at home mom.” I laughed at the time, but I have been a SAHM for several years. I don’t think I felt compelled saying that to my boyfriend until I met my now husband. My husband was finishing his masters when we got married. He’s 5 years older. I think this obsession with career vs SAHM is an American thing. I have worked PT on and off and would love to continue doing that but childcare is so tricky.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depending on the country, the man is expected to provide for the family. I was watching a documentary about men’s perspective and the US stood out with men not wanting to support their wives financially. Americans also don’t take care of their parents.

o

This rings true for me. My husband is originally from Bangladesh and we met when I was finishing undergrad. I remember he asked me what career I was interested in and I said I didn’t know. He said m, “no worries love you can be a really good stay at home mom.” I laughed at the time, but I have been a SAHM for several years. I don’t think I felt compelled saying that to my boyfriend until I met my now husband. My husband was finishing his masters when we got married. He’s 5 years older. I think this obsession with career vs SAHM is an American thing. I have worked PT on and off and would love to continue doing that but childcare is so tricky.

Anonymous wrote:Depending on the country, the man is expected to provide for the family. I was watching a documentary about men’s perspective and the US stood out with men not wanting to support their wives financially. Americans also don’t take care of their parents.