Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand- the kids are teens. Send them to the pool if they don’t want to nap.

It not at all that are stuck with the kids; the teens want a little rope.

You are mad because you think he gets a break and you don’t. But since the kids aren’t babies, this t even an issue.

Only one of them is a teen. See OP's PP about them not being old enough to be at the pool alone.

An 11 is old enough to quietly occupy themselves.

You keep saying this but still haven’t said what they should actually be doing during that time? when we’re on vacation, we don’t have to fill every minute w activities and we do build in down time/screen or reading or napping time but 2 hrs a day of that is kind of a lot. The vacation is only 1 week.

Reading? Watching tv or a movie? Writing in a journal? Napping themselves? Going on a photography hunt? Researching where to go for dinner? Looking up the planned activity for tomorrow? Good lord, if your 11/13 yo can't entertain themselves for a few hours you have failed as a parent.

It’s not that they can’t entertain themselves for a few hours, it’s that vacation is the one time where our family has uninterrupted time together—no work, no school, no birthday parties, no soccer games or piano lessons, just our family enjoying each other’s company.

It would be sad if we spent 2 hrs a day of that precious time all entertaining ourselves (which we do at home plenty)

And OPs DH would prefer to relax, since he doesn't get that at home. Just because you go on vacation together doesnt mean you can't have some time apart or do your own thing. Cant you find a compromise somewhere here?

Sounds like he does get to relax at home. He just doesn't like family time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Less important but worth noting is the unfairness to me because it’s not like I get a similar break; in fact, I would find it incredibly selfish to take two hours every day for myself on family vacation. We coordinated and paid money to take this trip, it seems foolish to waste 14 waking hours of the trip on naps.

I don't know if anyone has addressed this, but your framing here is absolutely bonkers. It isn't that you aren't getting a similar break, you are just refusing to take one. You could take one if you wanted to. But you apparently don't want to, and don't want him to either. That's a valid (though selfish) position to take, but it is crazy to suggest that it's unfair that you don;t get something that you don't want, and could have but choose not to take.

In your mind, you want a nap, so everyone else should have one too.

Oh is that jetboat tour leaving now? Too bad. You should want a nap. Or go by yourself. Sorry, kid—Dad needs his "alone" time. Maybe some other year.

Literally no one said that.

If I want a nap, I can nap, and if you don't want a nap, you can do something else. There are multiple options here that you are refusing to see and only rabidly holding onto this notion that he's refusing to let his family do anything while he locks himself in the bathroom jerking off. Quite the imagination you have!

Again, to the tape...

OP said:

I cherish this time with my kids, but we are sort of in limbo waiting on his naps, and want him included. We are busy at home and rarely get this sort of quality time. The kids wish he didn’t have to nap.

His kids want to do special things with him. He won't.

My bet is selfishness, but maybe he's got apnea and can't stay awake (weird how he stays awake for HIS activities tho). The only other reason I can think of for such mulish refusal to spend time with the kids and insistence that it be in the hotel room, by himself is a porn addiction. It's not uncommon.

If you believe the kids said that, I have some waterfront property to sell you...

OP wants them to be together 24/7, gogogo, look at how close we are etc. Her DH wants to take a nap during the day.

Also interesting that some of your posts specify that he's on his corn addiction, and others he's forcing everyone else to be in the same room napping with him. Make up your mind or at least try to keep your story straight

well, if you're not going to take the OP at her word, what's the point in any of this? and if you think you can subtract and embellish, than I think the porn addiction has to be treated as as likely as anything else.

based on the info we have, his kids are desperate to spend some special time with him, and he won't. He's a jerk.

Isn’t the DH spending time with the kids during all the other waking hours? Is something special about the 2 hours in the afternoon?

Saying he ate breakfast with the kids so therefore they should go color or something while he naps from 2-430 when they were hoping to go SUP or do a family cooking class is silly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand- the kids are teens. Send them to the pool if they don’t want to nap.

It not at all that are stuck with the kids; the teens want a little rope.

You are mad because you think he gets a break and you don’t. But since the kids aren’t babies, this t even an issue.

Only one of them is a teen. See OP's PP about them not being old enough to be at the pool alone.

An 11 is old enough to quietly occupy themselves.

You keep saying this but still haven’t said what they should actually be doing during that time? when we’re on vacation, we don’t have to fill every minute w activities and we do build in down time/screen or reading or napping time but 2 hrs a day of that is kind of a lot. The vacation is only 1 week.

Reading? Watching tv or a movie? Writing in a journal? Napping themselves? Going on a photography hunt? Researching where to go for dinner? Looking up the planned activity for tomorrow? Good lord, if your 11/13 yo can't entertain themselves for a few hours you have failed as a parent.

It’s not that they can’t entertain themselves for a few hours, it’s that vacation is the one time where our family has uninterrupted time together—no work, no school, no birthday parties, no soccer games or piano lessons, just our family enjoying each other’s company.

It would be sad if we spent 2 hrs a day of that precious time all entertaining ourselves (which we do at home plenty)

And OPs DH would prefer to relax, since he doesn't get that at home. Just because you go on vacation together doesnt mean you can't have some time apart or do your own thing. Cant you find a compromise somewhere here?

Ok look you have two options - let him nap or have him slog and be cranky. There is no magic answer that will result in him not having a nap AND being energetic.

Also, the rest of you can’t come up with something else to do for two hours a day? You need to be glued to each other 24/7? This is your DH’s vacation too, consider those two hours as his chosen fun activity. It’s one thing if his nap is interfering with some specific planned timed activity but if it isn’t and it’s just you want him to always be on, that’s on you.

If you feel it’s unfair he gets a break and you don’t, structure a break for yourself. For example, with us I am the person who wakes up really early and I let my DH sleep in if he wants while I take the kids for stuff for a couple of hours in the morning and then he lets me nap during the afternoon if I want. Nobody feels resentful and we haven’t died of not enough togetherness.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Less important but worth noting is the unfairness to me because it’s not like I get a similar break; in fact, I would find it incredibly selfish to take two hours every day for myself on family vacation. We coordinated and paid money to take this trip, it seems foolish to waste 14 waking hours of the trip on naps.

I don't know if anyone has addressed this, but your framing here is absolutely bonkers. It isn't that you aren't getting a similar break, you are just refusing to take one. You could take one if you wanted to. But you apparently don't want to, and don't want him to either. That's a valid (though selfish) position to take, but it is crazy to suggest that it's unfair that you don;t get something that you don't want, and could have but choose not to take.

In your mind, you want a nap, so everyone else should have one too.

Oh is that jetboat tour leaving now? Too bad. You should want a nap. Or go by yourself. Sorry, kid—Dad needs his "alone" time. Maybe some other year.

Literally no one said that.

If I want a nap, I can nap, and if you don't want a nap, you can do something else. There are multiple options here that you are refusing to see and only rabidly holding onto this notion that he's refusing to let his family do anything while he locks himself in the bathroom jerking off. Quite the imagination you have!

Again, to the tape...

OP said:

I cherish this time with my kids, but we are sort of in limbo waiting on his naps, and want him included. We are busy at home and rarely get this sort of quality time. The kids wish he didn’t have to nap.

His kids want to do special things with him. He won't.

My bet is selfishness, but maybe he's got apnea and can't stay awake (weird how he stays awake for HIS activities tho). The only other reason I can think of for such mulish refusal to spend time with the kids and insistence that it be in the hotel room, by himself is a porn addiction. It's not uncommon.

If you believe the kids said that, I have some waterfront property to sell you...

OP wants them to be together 24/7, gogogo, look at how close we are etc. Her DH wants to take a nap during the day.

Also interesting that some of your posts specify that he's on his corn addiction, and others he's forcing everyone else to be in the same room napping with him. Make up your mind or at least try to keep your story straight

well, if you're not going to take the OP at her word, what's the point in any of this? and if you think you can subtract and embellish, than I think the porn addiction has to be treated as as likely as anything else.

based on the info we have, his kids are desperate to spend some special time with him, and he won't. He's a jerk.

DP. If we are taking OP at her word, this has been going on for more than 13 years. It’s a lost cause at this point.

BTDT. Just leave him home for busier vacations. He can join you on resort type vacations or things like a weekend trip to the beach.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Less important but worth noting is the unfairness to me because it’s not like I get a similar break; in fact, I would find it incredibly selfish to take two hours every day for myself on family vacation. We coordinated and paid money to take this trip, it seems foolish to waste 14 waking hours of the trip on naps.

I don't know if anyone has addressed this, but your framing here is absolutely bonkers. It isn't that you aren't getting a similar break, you are just refusing to take one. You could take one if you wanted to. But you apparently don't want to, and don't want him to either. That's a valid (though selfish) position to take, but it is crazy to suggest that it's unfair that you don;t get something that you don't want, and could have but choose not to take.

In your mind, you want a nap, so everyone else should have one too.

Oh is that jetboat tour leaving now? Too bad. You should want a nap. Or go by yourself. Sorry, kid—Dad needs his "alone" time. Maybe some other year.

Literally no one said that.

If I want a nap, I can nap, and if you don't want a nap, you can do something else. There are multiple options here that you are refusing to see and only rabidly holding onto this notion that he's refusing to let his family do anything while he locks himself in the bathroom jerking off. Quite the imagination you have!

Again, to the tape...

OP said:

I cherish this time with my kids, but we are sort of in limbo waiting on his naps, and want him included. We are busy at home and rarely get this sort of quality time. The kids wish he didn’t have to nap.

His kids want to do special things with him. He won't.

My bet is selfishness, but maybe he's got apnea and can't stay awake (weird how he stays awake for HIS activities tho). The only other reason I can think of for such mulish refusal to spend time with the kids and insistence that it be in the hotel room, by himself is a porn addiction. It's not uncommon.

If you believe the kids said that, I have some waterfront property to sell you...

OP wants them to be together 24/7, gogogo, look at how close we are etc. Her DH wants to take a nap during the day.

Also interesting that some of your posts specify that he's on his corn addiction, and others he's forcing everyone else to be in the same room napping with him. Make up your mind or at least try to keep your story straight

well, if you're not going to take the OP at her word, what's the point in any of this? and if you think you can subtract and embellish, than I think the porn addiction has to be treated as as likely as anything else.

based on the info we have, his kids are desperate to spend some special time with him, and he won't. He's a jerk.

Lol! "the kids wish he didnt have to nap" is now "the kids are DESPERATE to spend SPECIAL TIME with HIM and HE REFUSES!
What kind of click bait false advertising sh!t is that! You should be a writer, your imagination is quite stunning.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand- the kids are teens. Send them to the pool if they don’t want to nap.

It not at all that are stuck with the kids; the teens want a little rope.

You are mad because you think he gets a break and you don’t. But since the kids aren’t babies, this t even an issue.

Only one of them is a teen. See OP's PP about them not being old enough to be at the pool alone.

An 11 is old enough to quietly occupy themselves.

You keep saying this but still haven’t said what they should actually be doing during that time? when we’re on vacation, we don’t have to fill every minute w activities and we do build in down time/screen or reading or napping time but 2 hrs a day of that is kind of a lot. The vacation is only 1 week.

Reading? Watching tv or a movie? Writing in a journal? Napping themselves? Going on a photography hunt? Researching where to go for dinner? Looking up the planned activity for tomorrow? Good lord, if your 11/13 yo can't entertain themselves for a few hours you have failed as a parent.

It’s not that they can’t entertain themselves for a few hours, it’s that vacation is the one time where our family has uninterrupted time together—no work, no school, no birthday parties, no soccer games or piano lessons, just our family enjoying each other’s company.

It would be sad if we spent 2 hrs a day of that precious time all entertaining ourselves (which we do at home plenty)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Less important but worth noting is the unfairness to me because it’s not like I get a similar break; in fact, I would find it incredibly selfish to take two hours every day for myself on family vacation. We coordinated and paid money to take this trip, it seems foolish to waste 14 waking hours of the trip on naps.

I don't know if anyone has addressed this, but your framing here is absolutely bonkers. It isn't that you aren't getting a similar break, you are just refusing to take one. You could take one if you wanted to. But you apparently don't want to, and don't want him to either. That's a valid (though selfish) position to take, but it is crazy to suggest that it's unfair that you don;t get something that you don't want, and could have but choose not to take.

In your mind, you want a nap, so everyone else should have one too.

Oh is that jetboat tour leaving now? Too bad. You should want a nap. Or go by yourself. Sorry, kid—Dad needs his "alone" time. Maybe some other year.

Literally no one said that.

If I want a nap, I can nap, and if you don't want a nap, you can do something else. There are multiple options here that you are refusing to see and only rabidly holding onto this notion that he's refusing to let his family do anything while he locks himself in the bathroom jerking off. Quite the imagination you have!

Again, to the tape...

OP said:

I cherish this time with my kids, but we are sort of in limbo waiting on his naps, and want him included. We are busy at home and rarely get this sort of quality time. The kids wish he didn’t have to nap.

His kids want to do special things with him. He won't.

My bet is selfishness, but maybe he's got apnea and can't stay awake (weird how he stays awake for HIS activities tho). The only other reason I can think of for such mulish refusal to spend time with the kids and insistence that it be in the hotel room, by himself is a porn addiction. It's not uncommon.

If you believe the kids said that, I have some waterfront property to sell you...

OP wants them to be together 24/7, gogogo, look at how close we are etc. Her DH wants to take a nap during the day.

Also interesting that some of your posts specify that he's on his corn addiction, and others he's forcing everyone else to be in the same room napping with him. Make up your mind or at least try to keep your story straight

well, if you're not going to take the OP at her word, what's the point in any of this? and if you think you can subtract and embellish, than I think the porn addiction has to be treated as as likely as anything else.

based on the info we have, his kids are desperate to spend some special time with him, and he won't. He's a jerk.

Isn’t the DH spending time with the kids during all the other waking hours? Is something special about the 2 hours in the afternoon?

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like DH is rebelling against OP’s forced-march vacation style. Sit down and meet in the middle, OP. He should get an hour to relax every day, and so should you (and the kids, if they want).

No, he's said he won't. He has to have the same nap time every day or he WILL retaliate. The guy is a jerk.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: read your post again but insert “my 8 year old” in place of “my DH”.

What does that tell you?

I find this post amusing. If OP were referring to a child, everyone would tell her things like “the child needs to suck it up, child should see pediatrician as this is not normal, the world does not revolve around child, an 8yo should not need naps, and so on” LOL. And I would largely agree.

Yet people are defending a healthy grown man (who slept 9hrs overnight) who gets “cranky” if he doesn’t get his scheduled nap? Good lord. Think about this.

Does the 8yo grind to make $250K a year to support a family? Does the 8yo mow the lawn, fix stuff around the house, do laundry, cook meals, run errands, coach soccer, serve as an election volunteer, and help care for elderly parents? Yes or no. Yes or no.

Did the 44yo agree to take his family on vacation and spend time with them? DH needs to be a man and take care of his kids.

It sounds like DH is rebelling against OP’s forced-march vacation style. Sit down and meet in the middle, OP. He should get an hour to relax every day, and so should you (and the kids, if they want).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: read your post again but insert “my 8 year old” in place of “my DH”.

What does that tell you?

I find this post amusing. If OP were referring to a child, everyone would tell her things like “the child needs to suck it up, child should see pediatrician as this is not normal, the world does not revolve around child, an 8yo should not need naps, and so on” LOL. And I would largely agree.

Yet people are defending a healthy grown man (who slept 9hrs overnight) who gets “cranky” if he doesn’t get his scheduled nap? Good lord. Think about this.

Does the 8yo grind to make $250K a year to support a family? Does the 8yo mow the lawn, fix stuff around the house, do laundry, cook meals, run errands, coach soccer, serve as an election volunteer, and help care for elderly parents? Yes or no. Yes or no.

DP. my 8 y/o needed a nap on vacation, I would let her sleep because she needs rest. Then I’d look at her/our family schedule. What’s wrong people who drag their kids out day after day if they are that tired?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Less important but worth noting is the unfairness to me because it’s not like I get a similar break; in fact, I would find it incredibly selfish to take two hours every day for myself on family vacation. We coordinated and paid money to take this trip, it seems foolish to waste 14 waking hours of the trip on naps.

I don't know if anyone has addressed this, but your framing here is absolutely bonkers. It isn't that you aren't getting a similar break, you are just refusing to take one. You could take one if you wanted to. But you apparently don't want to, and don't want him to either. That's a valid (though selfish) position to take, but it is crazy to suggest that it's unfair that you don;t get something that you don't want, and could have but choose not to take.

In your mind, you want a nap, so everyone else should have one too.

Oh is that jetboat tour leaving now? Too bad. You should want a nap. Or go by yourself. Sorry, kid—Dad needs his "alone" time. Maybe some other year.

Literally no one said that.

If I want a nap, I can nap, and if you don't want a nap, you can do something else. There are multiple options here that you are refusing to see and only rabidly holding onto this notion that he's refusing to let his family do anything while he locks himself in the bathroom jerking off. Quite the imagination you have!

Again, to the tape...

OP said:

I cherish this time with my kids, but we are sort of in limbo waiting on his naps, and want him included. We are busy at home and rarely get this sort of quality time. The kids wish he didn’t have to nap.

His kids want to do special things with him. He won't.

My bet is selfishness, but maybe he's got apnea and can't stay awake (weird how he stays awake for HIS activities tho). The only other reason I can think of for such mulish refusal to spend time with the kids and insistence that it be in the hotel room, by himself is a porn addiction. It's not uncommon.

If you believe the kids said that, I have some waterfront property to sell you...

OP wants them to be together 24/7, gogogo, look at how close we are etc. Her DH wants to take a nap during the day.

Also interesting that some of your posts specify that he's on his corn addiction, and others he's forcing everyone else to be in the same room napping with him. Make up your mind or at least try to keep your story straight

well, if you're not going to take the OP at her word, what's the point in any of this? and if you think you can subtract and embellish, than I think the porn addiction has to be treated as as likely as anything else.

based on the info we have, his kids are desperate to spend some special time with him, and he won't. He's a jerk.

Anonymous wrote:A few weeks ago, I took my kids to the beach. It was awesome, we did a ton of stuff. And one evening, instead of doing one of the 100 things on our to-do list, I napped while the kids watched tv in the room. It was awesome and very much needed for all of us.

It is ok to nap. It is ok to let your kids watch tv/play on the ipad/etc. Not everything in life needs to be busy and planned.

You napped 1 day of a beach vacation because you happened to be tired that day. That’s totally different than OP’s husband who must nap on a schedule daily, like a baby.