Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have made the first move before and I found that in those relationships (or maybe just situationships?), the men just weren't as into me. I think that the dynamic where a woman is more into the man than he is into her is a recipe for disaster. For good relationships, a man needs to be really into the woman because men don't tend to invest in relationships as much as women naturally do. But a man will bend over backward to make a woman happy if he is really into her.

Obviously there are many happy relationships where the woman has made the first move and there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing so. But at some point I stopped making the first move and I'm glad I did. If a man didn't make the first move, I knew that a) he couldn't pick up on social cues b) he didn't feel capable of handling rejection or c) he just wasn't into me.

Spot on.

Men are biologically driven by the ‘chase’. If a woman approaches them, it’s an easy win but doesn’t satisfy them the same way.

I honestly wish it weren’t this way. I’d prefer to approach men, but the pp is right. While there are successful relationships that start this way, more often than not it ends up being mostly about sex and short lived.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have made the first move before and I found that in those relationships (or maybe just situationships?), the men just weren't as into me. I think that the dynamic where a woman is more into the man than he is into her is a recipe for disaster. For good relationships, a man needs to be really into the woman because men don't tend to invest in relationships as much as women naturally do. But a man will bend over backward to make a woman happy if he is really into her.

Obviously there are many happy relationships where the woman has made the first move and there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing so. But at some point I stopped making the first move and I'm glad I did. If a man didn't make the first move, I knew that a) he couldn't pick up on social cues b) he didn't feel capable of handling rejection or c) he just wasn't into me.

Spot on.

Men are biologically driven by the ‘chase’. If a woman approaches them, it’s an easy win but doesn’t satisfy them the same way.

I honestly wish it weren’t this way. I’d prefer to approach men, but the pp is right. While there are successful relationships that start this way, more often than not it ends up being mostly about sex and short lived.

Anonymous wrote:I have made the first move before and I found that in those relationships (or maybe just situationships?), the men just weren't as into me. I think that the dynamic where a woman is more into the man than he is into her is a recipe for disaster. For good relationships, a man needs to be really into the woman because men don't tend to invest in relationships as much as women naturally do. But a man will bend over backward to make a woman happy if he is really into her.

Obviously there are many happy relationships where the woman has made the first move and there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing so. But at some point I stopped making the first move and I'm glad I did. If a man didn't make the first move, I knew that a) he couldn't pick up on social cues b) he didn't feel capable of handling rejection or c) he just wasn't into me.

Anonymous wrote:I have made the first move before and I found that in those relationships (or maybe just situationships?), the men just weren't as into me. I think that the dynamic where a woman is more into the man than he is into her is a recipe for disaster. For good relationships, a man needs to be really into the woman because men don't tend to invest in relationships as much as women naturally do. But a man will bend over backward to make a woman happy if he is really into her.

Obviously there are many happy relationships where the woman has made the first move and there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing so. But at some point I stopped making the first move and I'm glad I did. If a man didn't make the first move, I knew that a) he couldn't pick up on social cues b) he didn't feel capable of handling rejection or c) he just wasn't into me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a feminist and believe women can and should ask men out… however, I never have. I like a man to show the confidence and wit and initiative it takes to ask me out. I expect to have to show the wit and intelligence to interact in such a way that he wants to ask me out. I also like a man who sometimes likes to be dominant in bed. My desire is very responsive to being desired (like most women, for better or worse). Meek, shy men can’t do this for me.

You are not a feminist. Feminists will go crazy when they hear you say thinks like you want your man to be dominant in bed

You don’t get to gatekeeper feminism, whether your comment was tongue in cheek or not.

NP here. We actually do get to gatekeep feminism and based on your initial comment you are not a feminist.

NP.
Let me help you out since you seem to be struggling with basic concepts:

fem·i·nism
noun
the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.

Don’t you dare shame women for wanting a man to ask them out or even to be dominant in bed. Next you will be advocating for women to not be allowed to stay home with kids or cook dinner even if they want to. If you’re not joking, you’ve gone off the deep end. No wonder men suck so bad nowadays.
-signed progressive feminist

Same poster. You are also not a feminist. PP can want a man to ask her out. That's not feminist. Nothing in her post is feminist. That's okay not all women are feminists.

You must be young. I'm old enough to remember feminism and not have this confusion the current generations have. Nothing the original PP said goes against feminism. Maybe it's your understanding of it? What's your definition?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a feminist and believe women can and should ask men out… however, I never have. I like a man to show the confidence and wit and initiative it takes to ask me out. I expect to have to show the wit and intelligence to interact in such a way that he wants to ask me out. I also like a man who sometimes likes to be dominant in bed. My desire is very responsive to being desired (like most women, for better or worse). Meek, shy men can’t do this for me.

You are not a feminist. Feminists will go crazy when they hear you say thinks like you want your man to be dominant in bed

You don’t get to gatekeeper feminism, whether your comment was tongue in cheek or not.

NP here. We actually do get to gatekeep feminism and based on your initial comment you are not a feminist.

NP.
Let me help you out since you seem to be struggling with basic concepts:

fem·i·nism
noun
the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.

Don’t you dare shame women for wanting a man to ask them out or even to be dominant in bed. Next you will be advocating for women to not be allowed to stay home with kids or cook dinner even if they want to. If you’re not joking, you’ve gone off the deep end. No wonder men suck so bad nowadays.
-signed progressive feminist

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a feminist and believe women can and should ask men out… however, I never have. I like a man to show the confidence and wit and initiative it takes to ask me out. I expect to have to show the wit and intelligence to interact in such a way that he wants to ask me out. I also like a man who sometimes likes to be dominant in bed. My desire is very responsive to being desired (like most women, for better or worse). Meek, shy men can’t do this for me.

You are not a feminist. Feminists will go crazy when they hear you say thinks like you want your man to be dominant in bed

You don’t get to gatekeeper feminism, whether your comment was tongue in cheek or not.

Anonymous wrote:I have made the first move before and I found that in those relationships (or maybe just situationships?), the men just weren't as into me. I think that the dynamic where a woman is more into the man than he is into her is a recipe for disaster. For good relationships, a man needs to be really into the woman because men don't tend to invest in relationships as much as women naturally do. But a man will bend over backward to make a woman happy if he is really into her.

Obviously there are many happy relationships where the woman has made the first move and there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing so. But at some point I stopped making the first move and I'm glad I did. If a man didn't make the first move, I knew that a) he couldn't pick up on social cues b) he didn't feel capable of handling rejection or c) he just wasn't into me.

Anonymous wrote:Women do not handle rejection well and like to use plausible deniability to protect their feelings and egos.

So you end up in situations where subtle, barely perceptible winks count as "I asked him out".

Men should just accept that women are not wired to be risk seeking in the same way that men are and navigate accordingly.

Women should as least give perceptible choosing signals to make it easier to navigate the current minefield.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If women are so independent and self sufficient these days why are men still the ones expected to make the first move? If a woman likes a guy what's preventing her asking him out? If she wants to be his wife what's preventing her from asking him to marry her?

Are you a man? or woman? I have found that most men don't like women to make the first move

I'm a man but it's the same thing any women will tell you. We all like being approached by someone we find attractive. Not so much if we don't find them attractive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If women are so independent and self sufficient these days why are men still the ones expected to make the first move? If a woman likes a guy what's preventing her asking him out? If she wants to be his wife what's preventing her from asking him to marry her?

Are you a man? or woman? I have found that most men don't like women to make the first move