Anonymous
05/20/2024 17:54
Subject: In-laws and their kids eat all our food
Anonymous wrote:It seems like you guys shouldn't host. If you're hosting and guests are coming, it's your responsibility to provide enough food and drink for the guests.
If you feel put out by this ,ask your brother and sister in law to host next year.
This.
Are they expecting you to pay for/provide their transportation and pay for restaurant meals and entertainment venues/events?
That is something that you can negotiate, but if you are inviting them to stay for the weekend at your house (not a vacation home), then the at home food is your responsibility unless they offer to purchase items or simply do so.
Anonymous
05/20/2024 17:43
Subject: In-laws and their kids eat all our food
Anonymous wrote:So, it is Memorial Day (almost) and my bro and sis in law and their three kids are coming over. It should be called "Memorial Day" because by the team they leave I have a vague memory of when we used to have food in the house. Of course, we are planning ( prob gonna rain) to make burgers and dogs and all, and that's cool . We expect them to eat that. But you have never seen anything like their kids. They are big boys 9 16 year old twins) and a younger girl who is a gymnast, and they are RAVENOUS. Every time they come over, they leave our house more barren than the surface of the moon. The cereal is gone, the candy is gone, the soda is gone, the chips are gone, any baked good is gone, hell even our dog gets nervous. The thing is- they never offer to pay for their children's assaults on our pantry.
I know this sounds trivial to some, but we aren't rich and their visits seriously wipe out an entire grocery run. Is there a tactful way to say "Hey, can you help replace the stuff your children devour?" or do you think we are just stuck ?
Why don’t you say something to your brother such as “let’s food shop when you get here?” Or “let’s divvy up meals?” Or “can you guys bring your kids’ snacks?”
Anonymous
05/20/2024 17:40
Subject: In-laws and their kids eat all our food
I agree with PPs who pointed out that these kids are housing all of your junk food/treats. Do their parents not have soda, muffins, single serve snacks etc at home? Those are the kids who gorge on it when they can.
Don't stock up on junk, or put it away in another closet while they visit. If you have things in the fridge or pantry that need to stay there, put a label on the things you need that says something like "School lunches only."
I parent several velociraptors (who can definitely moderate their intake at other peoples homes) and we often have sticky notes on things that says "NO! Basketball!" or "DONT EAT -- ATHLETIC BANQUET."
Don't stock up on junk, or put it away in another closet while they visit. If you have things in the fridge or pantry that need to stay there, put a label on the things you need that says something like "School lunches only."
I parent several velociraptors (who can definitely moderate their intake at other peoples homes) and we often have sticky notes on things that says "NO! Basketball!" or "DONT EAT -- ATHLETIC BANQUET."
Anonymous
05/20/2024 17:39
Subject: Re:In-laws and their kids eat all our food
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You must not have teens.
Sadly, OP could have teens, based on the number of times my boys came home hungry. I remember going to a playdate for lunch and the mom served two carrots, and handful of grapes and a thimble of cheese. I took one look at my 5-year old and said we had to leave immediately after. At parties they would come home ravenous because there was one pizza for 6-7 tweens. Or, they'd go to dinner with (a well to do) family who made them order off the kiddie menu at 13. Granted, they were in the 85% and 99% for height, but active kids need food and many people aren't willing to provide it.
Aren’t willing or are not accustomed? Our DS was active through HS but only started consuming food in large amounts till college. I’m sure I “underserved” on play dates because I only had our 2 kids as a data set and prepared enough based on their consumption patterns x # of guests.
Anonymous
05/20/2024 17:33
Subject: In-laws and their kids eat all our food
Anonymous wrote:It seems like you guys shouldn't host. If you're hosting and guests are coming, it's your responsibility to provide enough food and drink for the guests.
If you feel put out by this ,ask your brother and sister in law to host next year.
+1 no you don't expect your own sibling to pay their way for a 1 day visit!
Yes you can ask them to bring some food potluck-style.
Anonymous
05/20/2024 17:30
Subject: Re:In-laws and their kids eat all our food
I had a friend pet sit for our dog and cat. Paid her for doing so. Also had a much more comfy home than her cramped studio. Seemed like a good deal.
We had toddlers at the time and returned home late @ night from our trip. We woke in the morning to discover that she had eaten everything in our home save some staples and canned goods. She ate all the kids’ food. All of it. Consumed everything we had in the freezer. Drank all of our alcohol/wine. We had nothing to offer the kids for breakfast. I can’t even remember what we did as we both had to go to work the next day.
Our friend was employed. I might’ve understood if they were between jobs, etc but this wasn’t the case.
We had toddlers at the time and returned home late @ night from our trip. We woke in the morning to discover that she had eaten everything in our home save some staples and canned goods. She ate all the kids’ food. All of it. Consumed everything we had in the freezer. Drank all of our alcohol/wine. We had nothing to offer the kids for breakfast. I can’t even remember what we did as we both had to go to work the next day.
Our friend was employed. I might’ve understood if they were between jobs, etc but this wasn’t the case.
Anonymous
05/20/2024 17:26
Subject: Re:In-laws and their kids eat all our food
Anonymous wrote:You must not have teens.
Sadly, OP could have teens, based on the number of times my boys came home hungry. I remember going to a playdate for lunch and the mom served two carrots, and handful of grapes and a thimble of cheese. I took one look at my 5-year old and said we had to leave immediately after. At parties they would come home ravenous because there was one pizza for 6-7 tweens. Or, they'd go to dinner with (a well to do) family who made them order off the kiddie menu at 13. Granted, they were in the 85% and 99% for height, but active kids need food and many people aren't willing to provide it.
Anonymous
05/20/2024 17:18
Subject: In-laws and their kids eat all our food
Anonymous wrote:Why can't they bring stuff too? We are hosting another family at our vacation place for Memorial Day and they always bring food and we all share. It would never occur to me to ask, but then any time we all hang out, we bring stuff too. If one of us is doing dinner, then the others bring dessert. If it's family, ask them to bring stuff too.
For all we know this other family hosts Thanksgiving, 4th of July, Labor Day, and all the other holidays so they don't feel bad letting OP and her family do the hosting for once. Not enough information to go on here.
Anonymous
05/20/2024 17:16
Subject: In-laws and their kids eat all our food
Why can't they bring stuff too? We are hosting another family at our vacation place for Memorial Day and they always bring food and we all share. It would never occur to me to ask, but then any time we all hang out, we bring stuff too. If one of us is doing dinner, then the others bring dessert. If it's family, ask them to bring stuff too.
Anonymous
05/20/2024 17:15
Subject: In-laws and their kids eat all our food
Anonymous wrote:I would serve more food at the party, including Costco size bags of snacks just for the little velociraptors. And take any other snacks, and hide them in your master bedroom closet or locked in the trunk or your car.
In the trunk of the car? How strange. Just buy bulk foods and call it a day. There's zero chance these kids area going thru Costco sized stuff in a few hours. OP is grossly over exaggerating what is going on here.
Anonymous
05/20/2024 17:15
Subject: In-laws and their kids eat all our food
What time do people come over and what time is the food served? If you’re wanting people to come over in the early afternoon to swim or whatever, but you aren’t actually serving the BBQ until hours later, you need ample snacks in the meantime. I have a relative who does this. She wants the party to start at 1 but will have no food beyond maybe - maybe - a tub of salsa and a bag of chips before the BBQ at 4/5.
Anonymous
05/20/2024 17:15
Subject: Re:In-laws and their kids eat all our foo
Not sure of your set up, but maybe put out a lot of pre-meal food that you will accept they eat. Then put out even more food than you think you need at mealtime. It sounds like they are eating nonstop.
I wonder if you just have different food than they have at home so eating at your house is a novelty. You may need to just put off stocking the cupboards or start hiding some food. Do you have a place you could just mark as off-limits? Just explain it’s food you need for the week. But make sure there is plenty of food they can eat.
I wonder if you just have different food than they have at home so eating at your house is a novelty. You may need to just put off stocking the cupboards or start hiding some food. Do you have a place you could just mark as off-limits? Just explain it’s food you need for the week. But make sure there is plenty of food they can eat.
Anonymous
05/20/2024 17:13
Subject: In-laws and their kids eat all our food
OP, I have hosted a lot of BBQs in my day and seen it all. I get the issue. You need to put off your shopping for anything beyond the cookout until after they are gone, gather up and lock up the stuff you don’t want touched (a large plastic bin in your closet works well), and downgrade to the cheapest option for the stuff like soda they are going to consume regardless.
And be happy that they only eat at your house for one day— think of what it must be like to feed them the other 364 days!
And be happy that they only eat at your house for one day— think of what it must be like to feed them the other 364 days!
Anonymous
05/20/2024 17:10
Subject: In-laws and their kids eat all our food
Anonymous wrote:Why does OP call her brother her "inlaw and his kids"? Something does not add up here.
Maybe they’re her brother’s stepkids.
Anonymous
05/20/2024 16:57
Subject: Re:In-laws and their kids eat all our food
I haven’t read all of the pages but are they coming for one picnic? Or staying the weekend?