Anonymous wrote:Didn't realize private middle school = Harvard admissions

Anonymous wrote:Also, we had former attendees/board members write letters of recommendation.

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Anonymous wrote:You may think you know these families in your K-8 or PK-6 well, know where the parents are from, where they went to school, etc. But what you may not know, because most people don't talk about it, is the legacy connections to the top schools that they have through grandparents, random aunts/ uncles, etc. They have links to these schools that may not be immediately obvious via the parents. And that can make the difference in admissions.

At which top colleges is a random aunt/uncle connection needle-moving for admissions?

Anonymous wrote:You may think you know these families in your K-8 or PK-6 well, know where the parents are from, where they went to school, etc. But what you may not know, because most people don't talk about it, is the legacy connections to the top schools that they have through grandparents, random aunts/ uncles, etc. They have links to these schools that may not be immediately obvious via the parents. And that can make the difference in admissions.

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Anonymous wrote:Test scores, first choice letters, legacy, URM, sports, being potentially very large donors in addition to full pay.

You seem very confident that you know what went into the other kids' applications, and sometimes there are things that their parents haven't mentioned to you.

I agree with this. We have been through admissions multiple times with our kids. The times we have been successful, it felt like an all-out siege, but none of the strategizing and effort would have been visible to other parents.

What did you do that wouldn’t have been obvious to others?

We have been accepted to 2nd tier schools only and WL at first tier. I still don’t understand why. ISEE scores 7,8,9,9; national placement in science; city recognition for art portfolio (submitted to school); plays 4 sports; UMC family that is active at K-8; parent recognized for school donations; well written parent statements and student essay. Applied to top tier in K, 6, and 9 - all WL. I know legacy kids with lower stats who get in. The non-legacy kids (very view) who do get in have similar stats. What did you do differently?

Did you ask the HoS at your K-8 why your child was not admitted to top tier for 9th? HoS at St Pats, Lowell, Sheridan, Norwood would know.

Yes, I asked, but I feel like I got a 'non-answer' - "competition was steep and there were just so many great kids and not enough spots". It just seems like other "great kids" similar to mine get the spots and never my kid. Oh well, my focus is on my younger ones now and I'm not sure top tier is for them - I'm tempted to send them there the older ones went for simplicity.

Your emphasis on "first tier" and "2nd tier" could be your answer.

Are you saying there isn't a pecking order in high schools or just that it is supposed to remain unsaid?

You’re saying too much of the quiet part out loud. Also focused too much on rankings instead of showing fit. You’re supposed to say things like “Jr wants to go to the library every day to learn after school and is looking for a school where there are more kids like her,” not “we’re looking for Jr to be in a top tier school.”

This is also internally in your K-8 discussions with teachers and administrators. If you don’t show you know why your daughter would be a better fit at NCS than Holton beyond that NCS is ranked first, especially if administrators think Holton would also be a fit or might be a better fit, they may not bat for you with NCS.

So gross and eye-rolly. How do you do that crap and not vomit all over yourselves? You know in 20 years NONE of this will matter!

I don’t. But I know people who do, and do so successfully.

I also think this practice is completely unfair. For all these schools’ talk about systemic bias no one seems to realize that parents of most kids coming from underprivileged backgrounds don’t know don’t have time to learn the difference between Sidwell and GDS. They just want their kids to go to the best schools and “get ahead,” sometimes without much of an idea of what that means. It’s unfair to ask them to have a reason to want to a school beyond “I want the best for my child.”

Why exactly is it unfair? Because you assume they don't have the fortitude to make a distinction? Equating privilege, or lack there of, with an (in)ability to appropriately analyze options is at best, short-sighted, at worst, insulting. Underprivileged is not synonymous with incapable or stupid.

Have you ever been underprivileged? I have. Where I come from, people don't use phrases like "fortitude to make a distinction." People use phrases like "you know those presidents sent their girls to Sidwell." When I had to write my "Why Princeton" essay, my dad said, "That essay is stupid. You just write, 'Because it's Princeton.' There. Three words. Done." I had to explain that it wasn't how that worked, and that when there was a 250 word limit, the essay shouldn't be 3 words. By that point, I was more privileged than he was, even though he was more capable than I.

He was more capable than me.

Actually, both “than I” and “than me” are fine but not great. Best is to add the verb at the end: “than I was.”
- professional editor (who thinks pointing out spelling and grammar errors/typos on informal online posts is a jerk move that reflects badly on the corrector, not the poster)

Anonymous wrote:I think the "hook" is the rationalization that qualified families use to rationalize what is a sometimes irrational process. If there are 30 kids with outstanding test scores, great recommendations and interesting extracurricular activities but only 10 spots, kids are going to be rejected.

Not every attribute is a "hook." Sure, a billionaire offering to name a building is unique. But being a good athlete, charming interviewee, STEM geek, good debater or anything else is just part of the package.

Parents feel the need to explain that their kid "would have gotten in if only they had a hook." The hook is that the kids who did get in were selected for whatever reason, but it doesn't mean that it was a reason external to kid's achievement.

Anonymous wrote:I think the truth is there are a lot of really qualified kids. I do think test scores matter and are the differentiator when otherwise kids look the same: sports, clubs, leadership (as much as you can in 8th grade) etc. Tippy top test scores definitely give an advantage. Schools want really smart kids.

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Anonymous wrote:We just found out about private school admissions for several of our friends' children. They did amazingly well and got into the most competitive middle and high schools.
My kids applied in the last few years and didn't get into the more competitive schools. We were disappointed, but it is what it is.
I can't help but feel a little sting that all these kids are getting into schools that my kids were rejected from--mostly because I do not understand what set them apart. Our kids all seem very similar--well-rounded with good grades/school involvement, nice kids. Families are nice. Parents are involved. Everyone is UMC or wealthy. We are close with these families so I don't think they are doing any crazy, amazing ECs or accomplishments that I don't know about. I know their grades (similar to my kids).
What sets kids apart in 5th or 8th grade? Essays? letter of Rec? Parent essays? Family involvement in schools?
I think my kids are great, so I wish I knew what prevented them from gaining admission.

Admissions to these schools isn't as fair, predictable, or logical as many think. It's difficult for staff to choose between candidates that look the same.

And the value of differentiators --- such as they are --- shifts around from year to year or even week to week during the process.

Especially at the margins, it's highly subjective and even capricious.






MONEYYYYYYYY 😂😂😂💛💛

Anonymous wrote:We just found out about private school admissions for several of our friends' children. They did amazingly well and got into the most competitive middle and high schools.
My kids applied in the last few years and didn't get into the more competitive schools. We were disappointed, but it is what it is.
I can't help but feel a little sting that all these kids are getting into schools that my kids were rejected from--mostly because I do not understand what set them apart. Our kids all seem very similar--well-rounded with good grades/school involvement, nice kids. Families are nice. Parents are involved. Everyone is UMC or wealthy. We are close with these families so I don't think they are doing any crazy, amazing ECs or accomplishments that I don't know about. I know their grades (similar to my kids).
What sets kids apart in 5th or 8th grade? Essays? letter of Rec? Parent essays? Family involvement in schools?
I think my kids are great, so I wish I knew what prevented them from gaining admission.

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Anonymous wrote:I don’t think any of this “hooked” stuff is true. My kid is unhooked - no legacy because we are from another country, no athletic ability whatsoever, very good but not amazing academics (ie some Bs), no interesting extra curriculars. A very nice, smart kid who is very well liked by teachers so really the only thing I can think of is that he had very good recommendations - but I’m sure that lots of other kids had these too. Got into 2 out of 2 Big 3s that we applied to and 2 out of 2 “next tier” schools.
For anyone reading this: do not be put off by talk of hooks! Just apply if you like the schools and think your kid will be happy there.

You still don’t get it do you? Being from another country often IS a hook.

my exact thought when reading that post