Anonymous
Post 03/16/2024 14:18     Subject: DD wants the big bedroom, but I don’t want to give it to her & DH not backing me up
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Now that OP has come back to say that all the bedrooms are on the main floor, I would probably opt to give DD the bedroom she wants.

However, the sneaking out thing is a real concern for when she’s older, also the safety of your daughter in the unlikely event of an intruder or something. If you put her in that room, you need a camera/Ring at that entrance that alerts you to any activity.


Can’t you just put a deadbolt on the door and don’t give her the key? There is probably one there already if it’s an exterior door.


If the “key” part of the deadbolt is on the inside, doesn’t that mean anyone outside can open it?


Ours have keys on both sides.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2024 14:12     Subject: Re:DD wants the big bedroom, but I don’t want to give it to her & DH not backing me up
Anonymous wrote:OP stumbled and landed in this forum when she should have posted in Relationships.

OP doesn't want to change her mind about the bedroom. She thinks DH caused this problem by not backing her up.


Yes. The husband has come up with a perfectly reasonable compromise, but it's not good enough for the OP. It's not enough for her DD to not have the room right now, she has to extinguish her hope of ever getting it (to the point of spending money to remove built-in fixtures that appealed to her). Her DH must agree with what she wants to do, not only now, but in perpetuity. Because she says so. And that should be enough, dammit.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2024 14:11     Subject: DD wants the big bedroom, but I don’t want to give it to her & DH not backing me up
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Who are you a-holes being so mean to OP? I think her plan makes sense and I would absolutely not indulge my 9 year old child (boy or girl). Plus she says she'll put in girly fancy stuff into her child's smaller room. Your girl gets to design her dream room, tell her you'll do whatever she wants, she'll get over not having the big room SO quickly once you paint her walls the color she wants, put in shelving she wants, bedding she wants, etc...


So isn't that indulging your daughter, OP?

I'm not OP. And it's indulging her, but OP needs to use the larger room for other purposes - she said a guest bed would not fit in one of the smaller rooms, for example. She wants the kids to have a playroom/multi-purpsoe room. I truly thought most people would agree with OP that her daughter doesn't need to have the large room, I was so surprised to hear all these people saying "screw practicality, spoil your sweet sweet baby and give her the big room".

I am confident that if it was the boy that wanted a bigger, boy-themed room, OR if OP hadn't mentioned the room was already decorated in a girly manner, NONE of you would say "give it to the child". Bunch of weirdos on today.

Either that or you're all just so rich and have such huge houses that you can't even fathom having to make a decision like this for practical reasons because you have so much extra space and giant rooms in your own house.


If the boy were older and there were a room with built in boy stuff that he loved, I'd give him the room.

The second small room can be a playroom. When boy gets older, that can be his computer/video game room to make up for the sister having a bigger room, and it will actually be healthier for him to keep that stuff in a separate room than his sleeping quarters.



What about the daughter? It's okay for her to have her computer and video games in her room? That's healthy for her?


What do you think is the gender ratio of video game addicts?
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2024 14:03     Subject: DD wants the big bedroom, but I don’t want to give it to her & DH not backing me up
If fairness of room size was actual important to OP and her husband, they would have accounted for that before buying the house. They didn’t which means, it’s not that importance
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2024 14:00     Subject: DD wants the big bedroom, but I don’t want to give it to her & DH not backing me up
My oldest is a boy and he has the largest bedroom after our room. He choose it at five when we moved in. His sister was an infant and she had the smallest bedroom in the house-because it was closest to my room. She’s 12 now and he’s almost 17 and nary a peep about room size ever.
They have plenty to fight about and spend plenty of time bickering over silly things but that has never come up.

When he leaves next summer for college if she wants his room she can have it.

Anonymous
Post 03/16/2024 13:59     Subject: Re:DD wants the big bedroom, but I don’t want to give it to her & DH not backing me up
OP stumbled and landed in this forum when she should have posted in Relationships.

OP doesn't want to change her mind about the bedroom. She thinks DH caused this problem by not backing her up.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2024 13:55     Subject: DD wants the big bedroom, but I don’t want to give it to her & DH not backing me up
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Who are you a-holes being so mean to OP? I think her plan makes sense and I would absolutely not indulge my 9 year old child (boy or girl). Plus she says she'll put in girly fancy stuff into her child's smaller room. Your girl gets to design her dream room, tell her you'll do whatever she wants, she'll get over not having the big room SO quickly once you paint her walls the color she wants, put in shelving she wants, bedding she wants, etc...


So isn't that indulging your daughter, OP?

I'm not OP. And it's indulging her, but OP needs to use the larger room for other purposes - she said a guest bed would not fit in one of the smaller rooms, for example. She wants the kids to have a playroom/multi-purpsoe room. I truly thought most people would agree with OP that her daughter doesn't need to have the large room, I was so surprised to hear all these people saying "screw practicality, spoil your sweet sweet baby and give her the big room".

I am confident that if it was the boy that wanted a bigger, boy-themed room, OR if OP hadn't mentioned the room was already decorated in a girly manner, NONE of you would say "give it to the child". Bunch of weirdos on today.

Either that or you're all just so rich and have such huge houses that you can't even fathom having to make a decision like this for practical reasons because you have so much extra space and giant rooms in your own house.



If the boy were older and there were a room with built in boy stuff that he loved, I'd give him the room.

The second small room can be a playroom. When boy gets older, that can be his computer/video game room to make up for the sister having a bigger room, and it will actually be healthier for him to keep that stuff in a separate room than his sleeping quarters.


Or is she just going to have a vanity in her room to do her makeup and hair while her brother plays video games. Stop with your disgusting sexism.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2024 13:54     Subject: DD wants the big bedroom, but I don’t want to give it to her & DH not backing me up
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Who are you a-holes being so mean to OP? I think her plan makes sense and I would absolutely not indulge my 9 year old child (boy or girl). Plus she says she'll put in girly fancy stuff into her child's smaller room. Your girl gets to design her dream room, tell her you'll do whatever she wants, she'll get over not having the big room SO quickly once you paint her walls the color she wants, put in shelving she wants, bedding she wants, etc...


So isn't that indulging your daughter, OP?

I'm not OP. And it's indulging her, but OP needs to use the larger room for other purposes - she said a guest bed would not fit in one of the smaller rooms, for example. She wants the kids to have a playroom/multi-purpsoe room. I truly thought most people would agree with OP that her daughter doesn't need to have the large room, I was so surprised to hear all these people saying "screw practicality, spoil your sweet sweet baby and give her the big room".

I am confident that if it was the boy that wanted a bigger, boy-themed room, OR if OP hadn't mentioned the room was already decorated in a girly manner, NONE of you would say "give it to the child". Bunch of weirdos on today.

Either that or you're all just so rich and have such huge houses that you can't even fathom having to make a decision like this for practical reasons because you have so much extra space and giant rooms in your own house.


If the boy were older and there were a room with built in boy stuff that he loved, I'd give him the room.

The second small room can be a playroom. When boy gets older, that can be his computer/video game room to make up for the sister having a bigger room, and it will actually be healthier for him to keep that stuff in a separate room than his sleeping quarters.



What about the daughter? It's okay for her to have her computer and video games in her room? That's healthy for her?
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2024 13:53     Subject: DD wants the big bedroom, but I don’t want to give it to her & DH not backing me up
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Who are you a-holes being so mean to OP? I think her plan makes sense and I would absolutely not indulge my 9 year old child (boy or girl). Plus she says she'll put in girly fancy stuff into her child's smaller room. Your girl gets to design her dream room, tell her you'll do whatever she wants, she'll get over not having the big room SO quickly once you paint her walls the color she wants, put in shelving she wants, bedding she wants, etc...


So isn't that indulging your daughter, OP?

I'm not OP. And it's indulging her, but OP needs to use the larger room for other purposes - she said a guest bed would not fit in one of the smaller rooms, for example. She wants the kids to have a playroom/multi-purpsoe room. I truly thought most people would agree with OP that her daughter doesn't need to have the large room, I was so surprised to hear all these people saying "screw practicality, spoil your sweet sweet baby and give her the big room".

I am confident that if it was the boy that wanted a bigger, boy-themed room, OR if OP hadn't mentioned the room was already decorated in a girly manner, NONE of you would say "give it to the child". Bunch of weirdos on today.

Either that or you're all just so rich and have such huge houses that you can't even fathom having to make a decision like this for practical reasons because you have so much extra space and giant rooms in your own house.


A guest bed wouldn’t FIT in the room Op wants to give the kid? OP that’s insane to think you can fit a bed, dresser, desk, toys, etc in a bedroom that won’t fit a double bed


If OP makes the larger room into a playroom, then she doesn' need toys in her bedroom. Also, children don't need desks in their bedroom. My kids have rooms big enough to fit desks, but they do their homework in the dining room. You guys are acting like the bedroom is where the child is going to spend ALL of her waking hours. Some kids just use their bedrooms to sleep, get dressed, and maybe read a book. You don't need a ton of space for that.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2024 13:50     Subject: DD wants the big bedroom, but I don’t want to give it to her & DH not backing me up
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Who are you a-holes being so mean to OP? I think her plan makes sense and I would absolutely not indulge my 9 year old child (boy or girl). Plus she says she'll put in girly fancy stuff into her child's smaller room. Your girl gets to design her dream room, tell her you'll do whatever she wants, she'll get over not having the big room SO quickly once you paint her walls the color she wants, put in shelving she wants, bedding she wants, etc...


So isn't that indulging your daughter, OP?

I'm not OP. And it's indulging her, but OP needs to use the larger room for other purposes - she said a guest bed would not fit in one of the smaller rooms, for example. She wants the kids to have a playroom/multi-purpsoe room. I truly thought most people would agree with OP that her daughter doesn't need to have the large room, I was so surprised to hear all these people saying "screw practicality, spoil your sweet sweet baby and give her the big room".

I am confident that if it was the boy that wanted a bigger, boy-themed room, OR if OP hadn't mentioned the room was already decorated in a girly manner, NONE of you would say "give it to the child". Bunch of weirdos on today.

Either that or you're all just so rich and have such huge houses that you can't even fathom having to make a decision like this for practical reasons because you have so much extra space and giant rooms in your own house.


A guest bed wouldn’t FIT in the room Op wants to give the kid? OP that’s insane to think you can fit a bed, dresser, desk, toys, etc in a bedroom that won’t fit a double bed


OP said the room could fit a double bed. It just won't fit a queen bed. PSA: Your guests don't want to sleep on a FULL sized bed. Geez!!
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2024 13:46     Subject: DD wants the big bedroom, but I don’t want to give it to her & DH not backing me up
Anonymous wrote:Sick


Did you mean to write something substantive and then forgot
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2024 13:45     Subject: DD wants the big bedroom, but I don’t want to give it to her & DH not backing me up
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Who are you a-holes being so mean to OP? I think her plan makes sense and I would absolutely not indulge my 9 year old child (boy or girl). Plus she says she'll put in girly fancy stuff into her child's smaller room. Your girl gets to design her dream room, tell her you'll do whatever she wants, she'll get over not having the big room SO quickly once you paint her walls the color she wants, put in shelving she wants, bedding she wants, etc...


So isn't that indulging your daughter, OP?

I'm not OP. And it's indulging her, but OP needs to use the larger room for other purposes - she said a guest bed would not fit in one of the smaller rooms, for example. She wants the kids to have a playroom/multi-purpsoe room. I truly thought most people would agree with OP that her daughter doesn't need to have the large room, I was so surprised to hear all these people saying "screw practicality, spoil your sweet sweet baby and give her the big room".

I am confident that if it was the boy that wanted a bigger, boy-themed room, OR if OP hadn't mentioned the room was already decorated in a girly manner, NONE of you would say "give it to the child". Bunch of weirdos on today.

Either that or you're all just so rich and have such huge houses that you can't even fathom having to make a decision like this for practical reasons because you have so much extra space and giant rooms in your own house.


A guest bed wouldn’t FIT in the room Op wants to give the kid? OP that’s insane to think you can fit a bed, dresser, desk, toys, etc in a bedroom that won’t fit a double bed


Yeah, these closet size rooms can't fit a bed for a guest but it's ok for the kids - including a soon to be tween girl?


Not PP, but yeah…a 9-yo can have a twin bed. A guest room needs a queen/double.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2024 13:44     Subject: DD wants the big bedroom, but I don’t want to give it to her & DH not backing me up
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Who are you a-holes being so mean to OP? I think her plan makes sense and I would absolutely not indulge my 9 year old child (boy or girl). Plus she says she'll put in girly fancy stuff into her child's smaller room. Your girl gets to design her dream room, tell her you'll do whatever she wants, she'll get over not having the big room SO quickly once you paint her walls the color she wants, put in shelving she wants, bedding she wants, etc...


So isn't that indulging your daughter, OP?

I'm not OP. And it's indulging her, but OP needs to use the larger room for other purposes - she said a guest bed would not fit in one of the smaller rooms, for example. She wants the kids to have a playroom/multi-purpsoe room. I truly thought most people would agree with OP that her daughter doesn't need to have the large room, I was so surprised to hear all these people saying "screw practicality, spoil your sweet sweet baby and give her the big room".

I am confident that if it was the boy that wanted a bigger, boy-themed room, OR if OP hadn't mentioned the room was already decorated in a girly manner, NONE of you would say "give it to the child". Bunch of weirdos on today.

Either that or you're all just so rich and have such huge houses that you can't even fathom having to make a decision like this for practical reasons because you have so much extra space and giant rooms in your own house.


If the boy were older and there were a room with built in boy stuff that he loved, I'd give him the room.

The second small room can be a playroom. When boy gets older, that can be his computer/video game room to make up for the sister having a bigger room, and it will actually be healthier for him to keep that stuff in a separate room than his sleeping quarters.

Anonymous
Post 03/16/2024 13:42     Subject: DD wants the big bedroom, but I don’t want to give it to her & DH not backing me up
Sick
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2024 13:41     Subject: DD wants the big bedroom, but I don’t want to give it to her & DH not backing me up
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Who are you a-holes being so mean to OP? I think her plan makes sense and I would absolutely not indulge my 9 year old child (boy or girl). Plus she says she'll put in girly fancy stuff into her child's smaller room. Your girl gets to design her dream room, tell her you'll do whatever she wants, she'll get over not having the big room SO quickly once you paint her walls the color she wants, put in shelving she wants, bedding she wants, etc...


So isn't that indulging your daughter, OP?

I'm not OP. And it's indulging her, but OP needs to use the larger room for other purposes - she said a guest bed would not fit in one of the smaller rooms, for example. She wants the kids to have a playroom/multi-purpsoe room. I truly thought most people would agree with OP that her daughter doesn't need to have the large room, I was so surprised to hear all these people saying "screw practicality, spoil your sweet sweet baby and give her the big room".

I am confident that if it was the boy that wanted a bigger, boy-themed room, OR if OP hadn't mentioned the room was already decorated in a girly manner, NONE of you would say "give it to the child". Bunch of weirdos on today.

Either that or you're all just so rich and have such huge houses that you can't even fathom having to make a decision like this for practical reasons because you have so much extra space and giant rooms in your own house.


A guest bed wouldn’t FIT in the room Op wants to give the kid? OP that’s insane to think you can fit a bed, dresser, desk, toys, etc in a bedroom that won’t fit a double bed


Yeah, these closet size rooms can't fit a bed for a guest but it's ok for the kids - including a soon to be tween girl?