Seriously depends on the major. Business or soft science majors are more laid back across schools. The most pressure-cooker schools are full of STEM kids

Anonymous wrote:If your kid is laid back, they will be laid back anywhere. If your kid is high stress, they will be high stress anywhere. It's not the college, it's the kid

I mostly agree with this.

The one twist, I think, is who your kid ends up being close with - their closest friends. Peer influence is huge still in college.

Even at pressure cooker schools, there are less stressed out, more balanced kids. And even at schools with a more laid-back reputation, there are stressed out gunners.

Your kid will encounter a different mix/balance of personalities at different schools, so keep an open mind. It’s not all or nothing like some people are making it sound.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yes, I am concerned about prestige, but we also want a school that is nice, friendly.
Do they exist? When I Google I find things about the best special services but that clearly doesn't mean it's a healthy environment

My kids are at T10 /ivy and they are filled with nice friendly students.

My kid spent a term at an Ivy and couldn’t get anyone to share a textbook when the bookstore sold out. Then went to an LAC and had the opposite experience. Small sample size, but there were enough similar experiences to convince them the culture at the former was less collaborative than at the latter.

+1 Agree 100%!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yes, I am concerned about prestige, but we also want a school that is nice, friendly.
Do they exist? When I Google I find things about the best special services but that clearly doesn't mean it's a healthy environment

My kids are at T10 /ivy and they are filled with nice friendly students.

My kid spent a term at an Ivy and couldn’t get anyone to share a textbook when the bookstore sold out. Then went to an LAC and had the opposite experience. Small sample size, but there were enough similar experiences to convince them the culture at the former was less collaborative than at the latter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It truly depends on major….right??

Yes and no. I think Engineering at a school like USC which is a fun is a different experience than Engineering at Carnegie Mellon which is known to be hard core grind.

Major does matter. USC can be full of fun activities, but whether you have time to participate is a problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:UCLA is a major pressure cooker, as is Berkeley.

It is? It wasn't when I went there, especially in the Humanities. UCLA has 32k+ undergraduates, which means you'll find nearly every sort of student possible. There are surely some grinders, but you'll also find a reasonable number of students (because of the low instate cost) who just want a degree so that they can become teachers, social workers, or police officers. My particular friend group and I mostly went on to top law schools and medical schools, but I don't recall any particular stress culture. We studied hard, but we also went to LA clubs bars, socialized, took road trips, etc. I occasionally hire UCLA grads and we naturally talk about college, and nearly everyone seems to have had a very positive, fun experience at UCLA. I personally seen any students who were miserable there, although at least a few exist.

I guarantee no one today is going to UCLA to become a police officer. Are you in your 70s?

Can you really though? If so, please elaborate on the factual basis of your guarantee. I'm in my 40's and established my relationship to UCLA and its graduates above. What's yours?

FWIW, the current police chief in LA went to USC.

Anyhow, it's certainly possible things have changed at UCLA since my day. And I'm not claiming that a significant portion of UCLA grads go into law enforcement. But large public universities, even elite ones, can be quite different than the East Coast privates that constitute DCUM's primary focus. Schools like UCLA contain a much higher portion of lower middle-class in-state students who attend without incurring a huge debt. While there are certainly many kids who go into professional careers, finance, and academia, IME there are also a large number who choose to go on to less-prestige oriented careers. And I think this results in a fair portion of students who aren't gunning for perfect grades and competing against one another for a spot at Google, Stanford Med, or Goldman Sachs. That's my main point.

Colby college

My kids are at T10 /ivy and they are filled with nice friendly students. All schools at this level have a competitive nature to them because many classes are “curved” to a B/B+such that below the mean kids get a B or worse. Thats just how it is. Uva and William &Mary do it too. Ask any kid in orgo or calc or physics there. Curves happen. All T40 types have them. The difference at T10s is that 75% of the students are 1500+ SAT kids, whereas W&M and UVA have “only” 25% that level. At all these schools half the kids are the bottom half. Pick a school where your kid is likely to be top half AND the bottom half still gets into med and law school. Thats going to mean by necessity a T10 school, maybe T15. The name itself opens doors even for bottom half kids. It doesnt matter as much for majors that do not do the curving—almost all kids in those classes can get A- or A

You completely missed the assignment.

Anonymous wrote:yes, I am concerned about prestige, but we also want a school that is nice, friendly.
Do they exist? When I Google I find things about the best special services but that clearly doesn't mean it's a healthy environment

My kids are at T10 /ivy and they are filled with nice friendly students. All schools at this level have a competitive nature to them because many classes are “curved” to a B/B+such that below the mean kids get a B or worse. Thats just how it is. Uva and William &Mary do it too. Ask any kid in orgo or calc or physics there. Curves happen. All T40 types have them. The difference at T10s is that 75% of the students are 1500+ SAT kids, whereas W&M and UVA have “only” 25% that level. At all these schools half the kids are the bottom half. Pick a school where your kid is likely to be top half AND the bottom half still gets into med and law school. Thats going to mean by necessity a T10 school, maybe T15. The name itself opens doors even for bottom half kids. It doesnt matter as much for majors that do not do the curving—almost all kids in those classes can get A- or A

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:UCLA is a major pressure cooker, as is Berkeley.

It is? It wasn't when I went there, especially in the Humanities. UCLA has 32k+ undergraduates, which means you'll find nearly every sort of student possible. There are surely some grinders, but you'll also find a reasonable number of students (because of the low instate cost) who just want a degree so that they can become teachers, social workers, or police officers. My particular friend group and I mostly went on to top law schools and medical schools, but I don't recall any particular stress culture. We studied hard, but we also went to LA clubs bars, socialized, took road trips, etc. I occasionally hire UCLA grads and we naturally talk about college, and nearly everyone seems to have had a very positive, fun experience at UCLA. I personally seen any students who were miserable there, although at least a few exist.

I guarantee no one today is going to UCLA to become a police officer. Are you in your 70s?

Anonymous wrote:It truly depends on major….right??

Yes and no. I think Engineering at a school like USC which is a fun is a different experience than Engineering at Carnegie Mellon which is known to be hard core grind.

Anonymous wrote:If your kid is laid back, they will be laid back anywhere. If your kid is high stress, they will be high stress anywhere. It's not the college, it's the kid

This is absolutely true. My kid was a tour guide at MIT when he was an undergraduate and would constantly be asked his grades etc and how hard it is. His answer is that the pressure very much depends on the student, not the school.

It truly depends on major….right??

Anonymous wrote:Is this the list? I’m trying to aggregate from this 10pg post….


Rice
Brown
Vanderbilt
Dartmouth
UVA
Emory
USC
UNC
Wisconsin
Wake
Santa Clara
UMiami
Tulane
Davidson
Bates
Colby
Bucknell
Carleton

I think BU is also a well-balanced school. While students study diligently, there are many cultural and leisure activities within walking distance.
I also have the impression that students are very lively and take care of each other a lot.

A prestigious (highly selective as defined here) school without pressure is like magically delicious chocolate cake without calories.

And if you find either one, please let me know.