Anonymous wrote:You want me to be honest? Deep down -- I find it pathetic. But I would never say that out loud.

I completely agree with you. I don’t respect them as much as working moms.

Anonymous wrote:

I assume what you are talking about is being content as a SAHM, because you assume all they are doing is being a wife and mother. They aren't; they are also doing tons of other stuff if they are actually happy. It's probably just not stuff that impresses you.

This^.

Anonymous wrote:
You mean people like me, who are very well-read, can discuss most current events with intelligence and some background knowledge, and also earn significant passive income from my dividends?

I'm doing great, thank you. Feel free to think whatever you want about me.

of course you're well read! You have time. And who cares. What are you going to do if you get divorced?

My main thought is that they are going to regret that when they are 50, divorced, and without job skills.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You mean people like me, who are very well-read, can discuss most current events with intelligence and some background knowledge, and also earn significant passive income from my dividends?

I'm doing great, thank you. Feel free to think whatever you want about me.

That fact that you replied sort of indicates you care what people think.

I only judge those that do not contribute in any way to society - volunteer work, pta, kids activities, anything. If all they do is care for their kids, then I judge them as incredibly selfish and lazy.

No one cares what you think.

Raising well-adjusted kids is the single best thing someone can do for society.

That’s a pretty low bar.

And yet one that a shockingly low number of parents manage to achieve.

I think they are living the dream. The many women I know who SAHM have great husbands and lives.

There is nothing more important than raising your kids once you decide to become a mother. That is single handedly the most important job you’ll ever have even if you have a career. I don’t know why people fool themselves into thinking their work as a law firm partner or consultant is irreplaceable. You as a mom are irreplaceable so focus your energies on your kids first and foremost. Some people can handle raising kids and working full time and are great at it. They are very disciplined and have their priorities right. I know many working women who are hands on moms and are very involved in their kids lives. Yes they might get help such as cleaning ladies, housekeeper etc but they don’t outsource parenting.

Anonymous wrote:^ Also, anecdotal but of the three SAHM families I know well, the kids are super close to the SAHM and not at all to the WOHD. With the dual working parent families I know, there is a balance in terms of attachment. Kids will gravitate to mom for one thing and to dad for another. Dad knows how to keep things going while mom is traveling or out for dinner with friends.

You are on the outside looking in and making judgments. You don’t know what is really going on in those family dynamics and shouldn’t pretend you do. And kids change, the strength of these one-on-one wax and wane over time.

Anonymous wrote:I would have been a SAHM if I didn’t have local, involved grandparents + ability to afford a FT nanny for school-aged kids. No question about that.

I only dislike the ones who enable their spouses to be workaholics and set a workaholic culture in the office. No, even the breadwinner should contribute to home and family needs.

Workaholics tend to be that way intrinsically, its who they are. Do you get judgmental of a workaholic who “sets a workaholic culture in the office” because he chooses not to be a husband or dad? Why are you blaming a spouse (aka the woman) for the culture of your own workplace?

Anonymous wrote:It’s not for me, but if it works for them why should I care? It’s not PC to say so but I think there were a lot of societal benefits to the one parent work, one parent home model of the middle class white 1950s world. I don’t want that personally but I can see how it was probably good for society overall, though at the expense of individuals who didn’t like it. If people have the means to replicate that and are happy doing it, good for them. Neither is true for me.

It is "PC" to say that homemaking and community leadership is better than everyone being wage slaves for a corporations.

What's not "PC" is forcing only and all married women to do it.

I DGAF what anyone else does as long as it isn’t hurting others.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get zero fulfillment from work personally, none. I do it for the money. I would feel fantastic having more time to workout, read, paint, garden...To me that is a much fuller life than mine now. I assume most women who are "just wives and moms" have such hobbies in addition to taking care of their families.

Yep

Whether working of not, women (and men) should make the time to workout, read, and have hobbies. And many do.

Anonymous wrote:Do the people judging women have a problem with men who stay home?

Or less of women who choose a career but not motherhood?

Do you have to have both to get the approval of these judgmental women?

It’s not for me, but if it works for them why should I care? It’s not PC to say so but I think there were a lot of societal benefits to the one parent work, one parent home model of the middle class white 1950s world. I don’t want that personally but I can see how it was probably good for society overall, though at the expense of individuals who didn’t like it. If people have the means to replicate that and are happy doing it, good for them. Neither is true for me.

I am Mormon and I have never seen someone content to just be a wife and mother. If literally all they do is wife and mother stuff they are depressed. This is actually discussed a lot at church; women are encouraged to have outlets so they maintain an identity outside of being a wife and mother.

I assume what you are talking about is being content as a SAHM, because you assume all they are doing is being a wife and mother. They aren't; they are also doing tons of other stuff if they are actually happy. It's probably just not stuff that impresses you.