Anonymous wrote:Hi is anyone with a kid at UVA following the parent posts on FB? I’m shocked that parents use terms like “top tier” frat and how they can’t believe their kid did not get into a top frat. It reminds me of when I was in high school 30 years ago and there were the popular kids. Anyway I just want to tell them that my kid who never had many friends is loving rush and when I asked him about these top tier frats his response is that the top tier is the one that’s right for you.

I am confused. Are you saying publicly on Facebook?

Anonymous wrote:I think the problem is that even though it’s only around 30% or so Greek, the Greek system dominates social life there. Of course you could be lucky and have a kid that doesn’t care and is into community service, theatre, or other organizations. But that’s not the case for my son.

No, you are wrong. The greek system at UVA NO WAY "DOMINATES" the social life there. Please provide proof. I am there My DD went through all four years without ever setting foot in a house, nor did he even know many pledges. (there are 27,000 people down at UVA - there is something for everyone one there. 900 clubs that anyone can sign up for on "Activity Day" (which usually runs three days).
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Anonymous[b wrote:]This sounds awful. [/b]

Can you use better word choice?. Like What "sounds awful"? and what "this" are you referring to? And "awful" conveys nothing meaningful to the reader

I know what she means, you don't seem to be the audience

Anonymous[b wrote:]This sounds awful. [/b]

Can you use better word choice?. Like What "sounds awful"? and what "this" are you referring to? And "awful" conveys nothing meaningful to the reader

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Anonymous wrote:I’ll give UVA this - their top tier ain’t about looks, it’s about money. There are cute, fun, brilliant girls in most of the houses.

How in the world do these sororities know what the HHI of the rushees are?

DP. They don’t, but there are a lot of tells. Where you went to high school, where you went to camp, where you spent your winter break, what you’re wearing, who you already know… of course they know your general wealth level. There will occasionally be outliers—I knew a handful of really cool, down-to-earth girls who were in the rich kid houses, but weren’t super wealthy themselves and weren’t even that attractive, to be honest. Personality does matter a lot, too. But it helps to know someone in those cases.

And it still doesn’t matter. I know several girls who were perfect students with all the right camps, high schools, etc who did not get a house you’d expect. Some were even multiple legacies with powerful social inner circle kind of families. It’s now ALL about who you know in the house when you rush. They’ll tell you “dirty rush” is not a thing but it is. With rare exception, it’s al about who you know.

What exactly is "dirty rush"?

Dirty rush happens in the fall at uva. It’s really more of a thing I think with frats. They have underground rush events that are not publicized, you have to be invited. My dd had friends who were literally treated like pledges all fall. The top frats are unattainable if you’re not included in dirty rush. My dd did not know anyone who did dirty rush in sororities but did “rush dates” which is where the PNM gets invited to dinner or coffee with a couple of girls that they know in a sorority (from clubs or classes or from home) to get to know each other. I don’t think it’s as widespread for girls from what I heard.

How does one get invited to these dirty rush events?

That’s the trick, you have to know someone.

Again you do not have to participate in dirty rush but you will have to be ok with not being in a “top” frat or sorority.

Yes. Frats openly dirty rush and it’s considered legit , even normal. It’s a rule violation for sororities so they’ll tell you they don’t do it. They 100% do. It’s basically any socializing with PNM prior to or outside of formal rush activities.

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Anonymous wrote:I’ll give UVA this - their top tier ain’t about looks, it’s about money. There are cute, fun, brilliant girls in most of the houses.

How in the world do these sororities know what the HHI of the rushees are?

They can look up the value of
parent’s home on zillow.

And how do they know their addresses? I don't remember filling out my address when I went through rush. And when I went through rush on the other side, I had no idea about how much money the rushees had.

When you sign up you put your home address. Also girls at UVA come through rush in full Chanel outfits or their Canada Goose coats and golden goose sneakers.

You clearly have no experience at UVA and have been watching Rush Tok for SEC schools.

Really? This is straight from my DD who is currently doing recruitment at UVA. Those were her words.

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Anonymous wrote:So is the wearing pearls/dresses and blazers/ties to football games a Greek thing or a UVA thing in general for even non-Greek kids?

Nobody does this anymore.

Exactly, this hasn’t been a thing in years. Now it’s halter tops, short shorts, cowboy boots.

I see mostly t-shirts.

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Anonymous wrote:I’ll give UVA this - their top tier ain’t about looks, it’s about money. There are cute, fun, brilliant girls in most of the houses.

How in the world do these sororities know what the HHI of the rushees are?

They can look up the value of
parent’s home on zillow.

And how do they know their addresses? I don't remember filling out my address when I went through rush. And when I went through rush on the other side, I had no idea about how much money the rushees had.

When you sign up you put your home address. Also girls at UVA come through rush in full Chanel outfits or their Canada Goose coats and golden goose sneakers.

You clearly have no experience at UVA and have been watching Rush Tok for SEC schools.

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Anonymous wrote:This whole thread makes me question whether UVA will be a decent fit for my senior (who applied EA so maybe won't even have to visit and assess whether they would fit/thrive there.)

It's not a good fit for my daughter who's a first year.

Hoping she finds her tribe. There is Greek life yes, but there is ALOT else going on. So many great clubs and activities.

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Anonymous wrote:This whole thread makes me question whether UVA will be a decent fit for my senior (who applied EA so maybe won't even have to visit and assess whether they would fit/thrive there.)

It's not a good fit for my daughter who's a first year.

Where is she transferring?

She's not. I wish she were, but she thinks that starting over as a transfer would be too dificult.

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Anonymous wrote:This whole thread makes me question whether UVA will be a decent fit for my senior (who applied EA so maybe won't even have to visit and assess whether they would fit/thrive there.)

I think the girls who are happiest with their time at UVA are either shoe-ins for this stuff or have absolutely zero interest in it, and seek friends and social opportunities elsewhere. I’m really not saying one is better than the other, but I wish I had known the reality of it before I went there. I know my own daughter is not the first type, but she’d probably do ok as the second type, so I haven’t completely tried to dissuade her from considering it.

My dd was really not thinking of rushing when she went to UVA but all of her hallmates did so it was a foregone conclusion. That said, girls drop out of the Greek system all the time at various stages. My dd considered dropping as a third year because she has an active social life that doesn’t really include Greek life but she does have a great group of friends in her sorority so has decided to stay. She is still meeting girls two years after she pledged. There are 150++ girls in the sorority so more than room to find your “group” even if you don’t vibe with all of them.

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Anonymous wrote:This whole thread makes me question whether UVA will be a decent fit for my senior (who applied EA so maybe won't even have to visit and assess whether they would fit/thrive there.)

While this is a UVA specific thread, there are a lot of schools with similar environments PP. UVA has nearly 1,000 student clubs/groups. There’s something for everyone.

But most of these clubs aren't really active.

Anonymous wrote:What happens on Preference Day? I am new to all this stuff.

At this point, the PNMs have been invited back to probably two sororities today. They will probably meet with a sister who they already met this week and basically it will be somewhat more of an intimate conversation about why the PNM should choose the sorority. It’s the most formal of the rounds and they girls all dress in cocktail dresses (brrr). The PNMs then rank their two choices tonight and sign an agreement that they agree they will accept a bid from one of the two sororities that preffed them. They are guaranteed a bid if they do that from one of them.

Some girls might “suicide bid” if they can only see themselves in one of the two. In that case, they will either get that choice or nothing at all.

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Anonymous wrote:This whole thread makes me question whether UVA will be a decent fit for my senior (who applied EA so maybe won't even have to visit and assess whether they would fit/thrive there.)

While this is a UVA specific thread, there are a lot of schools with similar environments PP. UVA has nearly 1,000 student clubs/groups. There’s something for everyone.

Agree. My smallish liberal arts school was like this in the 90s.

My son is a 1st year who is not rushing. He considered it, but he’s gotten involved in several things since he got to UVA and they provide him with a pretty good social life. I don’t think many of his friends are rushing either. It really depends on the kid and what they are looking for.

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread makes me question whether UVA will be a decent fit for my senior (who applied EA so maybe won't even have to visit and assess whether they would fit/thrive there.)

I think the girls who are happiest with their time at UVA are either shoe-ins for this stuff or have absolutely zero interest in it, and seek friends and social opportunities elsewhere. I’m really not saying one is better than the other, but I wish I had known the reality of it before I went there. I know my own daughter is not the first type, but she’d probably do ok as the second type, so I haven’t completely tried to dissuade her from considering it.