Anonymous wrote:Average height male. 5’8. Graduated high school in 89. Late bloomer. Hit puberty at 16. I went through a city public and never received a quarter of the flat out abuse - from both males and even worse females (and even parents) my 15 year old late blooming son receives at UMC suburban high school. What gives?

5’8” is average?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the only thing left that they are “allowed” to pick on other people about.

Here is what teens are NOT ALLOWED to say anything about:




(this is from Harvard, BTW)

OMG - “sizeism” is on there !

I don’t know… it’s not that hard to not be a jerk. My kids don’t need this wheel to figure out what not to say. Kind of sad that we can’t just not make fun of people for being “lesser” than us in some way. No?

By lesser I should have said different or having a characteristic that engenders less privilege in society.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the only thing left that they are “allowed” to pick on other people about.

Here is what teens are NOT ALLOWED to say anything about:




(this is from Harvard, BTW)

OMG - “sizeism” is on there !

I don’t know… it’s not that hard to not be a jerk. My kids don’t need this wheel to figure out what not to say. Kind of sad that we can’t just not make fun of people for being “lesser” than us in some way. No?

Anonymous wrote:My DH is shorter than average in the US but a typical build in the place from which his parents immigrated. It did not affect his confidence when we were dating, but I have found that he's acquired a chip on his shoulder about it as he's gotten older and risen through the corporate ranks. There is definitely a correlation between height and success in the very upper ranks of his Fortune 500 company. I think that the current obsession about height creates a huge confidence boost for those people that have it, and that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of height=success. There's also some height/racial stuff that I won't even go into because it's another thread, but I do think that in a white-dominated western culture being from an ethnic background with smaller builds can be a big disadvantage in terms of how mean are perceived. Height is used as a subconscious measurement of testosterone, manliness, etc.

To be clear, I don't think people are choosing CEOs based on height. It starts much earlier. When you have two senior directors with equal abilities and attractiveness but one is taller, their height broadcasts confidence and attractiveness and they'll be the one chosen as VP first. Happens every time.

This makes sense but I haven't really seen it play out in really life. My kids go to two different "Big3" DC high schools where it feels like every other dad is a C suite executive (some of national, fortune 500 companies), managing partner in "Biglaw" or some other crazy elite job and many of them are 5'8-5'11. I honestly can't think of any who are super tall. My husband is tall (6'3") (and not in an elite job-lol) and he usually towers over the other dads at sporting events, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, as the mother of a 5'6" 17yo boy, I think girls are really mean about this and way more than boys.

It is verboten for boys to say a thing about a girls weight but social media is full of girls making fun of short guys, demeaning them, and basically being hypocrites.

Moms of girls, teach them better.

+1 This has been DD's and DS's experience. The boys tease boys but it's mostly part of the larger context of boy bashing humor, like the way they may make fun of another boy's hair or clothes or athletic ability. The girls comments I've heard are more cruel. Overheard DD's friends talking about a crush one of them had but others put down the boy for being small. WTF right?

If you really think boys aren't making comments about girls' body types, you have your head in the sand. I have a DD who is tall and very thin (athlete) and she's had boys make comments about her being too skinny, having no butt, etc. right to her face. And, FWIW, she has a major crush on a boy who is the same height as she is (maybe an inch shorter). So, please stop the generalizations. There are mean girls and mean boys out there.

There are entire TikTok and social media trends of girls making fun of and being very mean about short guys. It is the last socially acceptable form of body shaming. That was my point.

Are you under the impression that there is no other kind of body shaming happening on social media?

Reread what I said and don't throw up a strawman.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, as the mother of a 5'6" 17yo boy, I think girls are really mean about this and way more than boys.

It is verboten for boys to say a thing about a girls weight but social media is full of girls making fun of short guys, demeaning them, and basically being hypocrites.

Moms of girls, teach them better.

+1 This has been DD's and DS's experience. The boys tease boys but it's mostly part of the larger context of boy bashing humor, like the way they may make fun of another boy's hair or clothes or athletic ability. The girls comments I've heard are more cruel. Overheard DD's friends talking about a crush one of them had but others put down the boy for being small. WTF right?

If you really think boys aren't making comments about girls' body types, you have your head in the sand. I have a DD who is tall and very thin (athlete) and she's had boys make comments about her being too skinny, having no butt, etc. right to her face. And, FWIW, she has a major crush on a boy who is the same height as she is (maybe an inch shorter). So, please stop the generalizations. There are mean girls and mean boys out there.

There are entire TikTok and social media trends of girls making fun of and being very mean about short guys. It is the last socially acceptable form of body shaming. That was my point.

Please how many jokes and videos are there of men making fun of ugly or fat women. Both sexes do it and claiming girls do it more is false.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, as the mother of a 5'6" 17yo boy, I think girls are really mean about this and way more than boys.

It is verboten for boys to say a thing about a girls weight but social media is full of girls making fun of short guys, demeaning them, and basically being hypocrites.

Moms of girls, teach them better.

+1 This has been DD's and DS's experience. The boys tease boys but it's mostly part of the larger context of boy bashing humor, like the way they may make fun of another boy's hair or clothes or athletic ability. The girls comments I've heard are more cruel. Overheard DD's friends talking about a crush one of them had but others put down the boy for being small. WTF right?

If you really think boys aren't making comments about girls' body types, you have your head in the sand. I have a DD who is tall and very thin (athlete) and she's had boys make comments about her being too skinny, having no butt, etc. right to her face. And, FWIW, she has a major crush on a boy who is the same height as she is (maybe an inch shorter). So, please stop the generalizations. There are mean girls and mean boys out there.

There are entire TikTok and social media trends of girls making fun of and being very mean about short guys. It is the last socially acceptable form of body shaming. That was my point.

Are you under the impression that there is no other kind of body shaming happening on social media?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the only thing left that they are “allowed” to pick on other people about.

Here is what teens are NOT ALLOWED to say anything about:




(this is from Harvard, BTW)

OMG - “sizeism” is on there !

Anonymous wrote:This is Op. Thanks for the input. Super interesting. I guess I just realize how primal we still all are.

But here is my PSA on the issue: please tell your kids that some folks are being taunted for really in many cases what is a TEMPORARY condition. I agree folks have their preferences for types they want to be in relationships with. Totally fine. What we are talking about is making someone’s life hell for a condition that’s relatively common (late bloomer). DCUM crowd leads the way!

I mean for you it wasn't really a temporary condition, was it OP? You're 5'8- so wasn't really TEMPORARY.

Not to be unkind – but the tone of your post is actually really clueless

Anonymous wrote:It’s the only thing left that they are “allowed” to pick on other people about.

Here is what teens are NOT ALLOWED to say anything about:




(this is from Harvard, BTW)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is Op. Thanks for the input. Super interesting. I guess I just realize how primal we still all are.

But here is my PSA on the issue: please tell your kids that some folks are being taunted for really in many cases what is a TEMPORARY condition. I agree folks have their preferences for types they want to be in relationships with. Totally fine. What we are talking about is making someone’s life hell for a condition that’s relatively common (late bloomer). DCUM crowd leads the way!

This has to be the most tone deaf obnoxious comment I've read in weeks. For many kids this is not a "TEMPORARY" condition. They will just be small. So it's okay to make fun of them? You're probably the worst one on this whole thread.

Yeah- agree

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, as the mother of a 5'6" 17yo boy, I think girls are really mean about this and way more than boys.

It is verboten for boys to say a thing about a girls weight but social media is full of girls making fun of short guys, demeaning them, and basically being hypocrites.

Moms of girls, teach them better.

+1 This has been DD's and DS's experience. The boys tease boys but it's mostly part of the larger context of boy bashing humor, like the way they may make fun of another boy's hair or clothes or athletic ability. The girls comments I've heard are more cruel. Overheard DD's friends talking about a crush one of them had but others put down the boy for being small. WTF right?

If you really think boys aren't making comments about girls' body types, you have your head in the sand. I have a DD who is tall and very thin (athlete) and she's had boys make comments about her being too skinny, having no butt, etc. right to her face. And, FWIW, she has a major crush on a boy who is the same height as she is (maybe an inch shorter). So, please stop the generalizations. There are mean girls and mean boys out there.

+10000. Yes, I know a bunch of 7th grade boys that created a hot list of girls at school (class of 45 kids, about 23 of whom were girls - and half of whom were on the list). And the list was talked about a lot. Is that nice? It cuts both ways. Kids find different things attractive for sure but the level of shaming and making public preferences is not ok. And saying this stuff on social media? It will come back to haunt these kids.

My DH is shorter than average in the US but a typical build in the place from which his parents immigrated. It did not affect his confidence when we were dating, but I have found that he's acquired a chip on his shoulder about it as he's gotten older and risen through the corporate ranks. There is definitely a correlation between height and success in the very upper ranks of his Fortune 500 company. I think that the current obsession about height creates a huge confidence boost for those people that have it, and that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of height=success. There's also some height/racial stuff that I won't even go into because it's another thread, but I do think that in a white-dominated western culture being from an ethnic background with smaller builds can be a big disadvantage in terms of how mean are perceived. Height is used as a subconscious measurement of testosterone, manliness, etc.

To be clear, I don't think people are choosing CEOs based on height. It starts much earlier. When you have two senior directors with equal abilities and attractiveness but one is taller, their height broadcasts confidence and attractiveness and they'll be the one chosen as VP first. Happens every time.

Anonymous wrote:I think ideal male height is about 5'10" to 6'1". Any taller and you often get a gangly giraffe look which I personally don't find attractive. My husband is 6'3". and I found him attractive despite his height, not for it.

Our son is still younger so I have no idea how tall he'll end up being.

I agree. My brother, father, uncles are all 6'1", sister 5'8".

I'm 5'5". I never realized my type was 5'10"-5'11" until I looked at my dating history. They could be clones in terms of body/build. Broad shouldered, muscular, athletic, square jaw. Kind of a Matt Damon in Bourne build.

I'm a soccer player and this describes most Euro professional soccer players where 5'10" is the sweet spot--at least midfielders. And male soccer players body are the most 'even' and gorgeous--not grotesquely weird or large, etc. Strong thighs, cut abs, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, as the mother of a 5'6" 17yo boy, I think girls are really mean about this and way more than boys.

It is verboten for boys to say a thing about a girls weight but social media is full of girls making fun of short guys, demeaning them, and basically being hypocrites.

Moms of girls, teach them better.

+1 This has been DD's and DS's experience. The boys tease boys but it's mostly part of the larger context of boy bashing humor, like the way they may make fun of another boy's hair or clothes or athletic ability. The girls comments I've heard are more cruel. Overheard DD's friends talking about a crush one of them had but others put down the boy for being small. WTF right?

If you really think boys aren't making comments about girls' body types, you have your head in the sand. I have a DD who is tall and very thin (athlete) and she's had boys make comments about her being too skinny, having no butt, etc. right to her face. And, FWIW, she has a major crush on a boy who is the same height as she is (maybe an inch shorter). So, please stop the generalizations. There are mean girls and mean boys out there.

There are entire TikTok and social media trends of girls making fun of and being very mean about short guys. It is the last socially acceptable form of body shaming. That was my point.