Anonymous wrote:The scapegoat became a golden child as the nest emptied. The most troubled child, the scapegoat, needed and continued to need parental support and mother was really into being needed. That child took a lot from mother and was pressured to pay it back so the scapegoat, by slowly paying mother back, became the golden child in mother's eyes as she aged.
Meanwhile the original golden child and other siblings who made do with a poverty stricken childhood and refrained from preying on the parents financially became the scapegoats because they were busy paying off their student loans and crafting a financially independent life.

Ha- I can identify with this a bit. I was the supposed "golden child" because I got good grades and didn't skip school, etc. "Scapegoat" resented me for not getting in trouble more often. But none of my so-called "privilige" transalted into any financial incentives besides my parents co-signing private loans to pay for college (in fact I'd say they put me at a disadvantage by doing so). Scapegoat lived with my parents for years into adulthood but still won't acknowledge the help they provided, and now it's really flipped around that they are the golden child- parents refuse to travel for holidays, even to see grandkids, because that child's work schedule takes priority over everything else.

The scapegoat became a golden child as the nest emptied. The most troubled child, the scapegoat, needed and continued to need parental support and mother was really into being needed. That child took a lot from mother and was pressured to pay it back so the scapegoat, by slowly paying mother back, became the golden child in mother's eyes as she aged.
Meanwhile the original golden child and other siblings who made do with a poverty stricken childhood and refrained from preying on the parents financially became the scapegoats because they were busy paying off their student loans and crafting a financially independent life.

My oldest sibling was the golden child, and spoiled rotten. Entitled, narcissistic, and extremely insecure, he became an addict and died of an accidental overdose at a young age.

I was the black sheep, but turned out mostly fine despite my lingering demons. I have a happy, stable family life, thank god. I'm okay with my parents and surviving siblings now, but it took a long time to get there and I'm careful to maintain boundaries.