Anonymous wrote:Last Thanksgiving my SIL came out of her basement and handed DH a white-and-gold wrapped gift. It was a wedding gift -- from when he married his first wife. Thirty freaking years ago. We have been together 20 and married for seven. Apparently it was a gift from some family member that gave it to her to give them and she never did? And after all these years she felt Thanksgiving with me sitting next to him was the perfect time to come hand it to him?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll start off.

This year, I will finally tell my FIL he cannot floss his teeth at the table.

Oh hell no.

ILs pick their teeth and belch at the table, so I'm with you, OP. I do recall the same people did not like the way I held my fork (you know, the same way everyone else holds their fork). Good times.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH just told MIL for the third time that no, we won’t be putting food on the table and passing. We’ll be serving it buffet-style from the island. She’s fighting her on this and he finally said, “No one wants to pass and pass and monitor what each other is or is not eating. We all just want to make a plate and eat.” Which has always been MY argument for hating family-style service.

(Nelson voice Ha ha!

Nice! My MIL also refuses to understand that passing family style is no longer a popular way of serving. And I agree that one of the main motivations for old people liking it is that they like to see who is taking what and how much.

really? what do you do on a daily basis? and do people really care about seeing what other people eat (that seems odd and slightly disordered)

NP. On a daily basis, we put food on the island, and either self-serve or one adult serves for the kids or whatever. Occasionally DH and I will ask the other if they want us to make them a plate. But mostly, everyone makes their own plate.

Anyway, I see you’ve never been part of an interminably long pass, pass, pass, pass holiday dinner. They are the WORST. A huge casserole dish hovering in midair while Aunt Bertha hems and haws about whether she wants this dish or that. Or MIL asks why you aren’t eating mashed rutabagas. Or FIL says “wow, you’re taking a LOT of mashed potatoes.” So much commentary about who is eating what and how much, or how no one is eating the yams and you really need to take some yams. Meanwhile the food is getting cold instead of being eaten. It’s so laborious and unnecessary.

We pass food around and this kind of thing never happens.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH just told MIL for the third time that no, we won’t be putting food on the table and passing. We’ll be serving it buffet-style from the island. She’s fighting her on this and he finally said, “No one wants to pass and pass and monitor what each other is or is not eating. We all just want to make a plate and eat.” Which has always been MY argument for hating family-style service.

(Nelson voice Ha ha!

Nice! My MIL also refuses to understand that passing family style is no longer a popular way of serving. And I agree that one of the main motivations for old people liking it is that they like to see who is taking what and how much.

DP. Interesting take and maybe that’s it. My parents are huge into family style and my dad recently asked when the grandkids, my kids, would be old enough to serve meals like this. My kids are in middle and high school. They can’t comprehend that we don’t put it all on the table to be passed around, even when I explain there’s not room on the table with everyone over and easier to have a buffet.

Our house is not big enough to have a whole separate area to set up a buffet. I have a small kitchen with limited counter space and a tiny kitchen table. The only place we have to put the food is on the dining room table so we can pass it around.
It’s annoying for posters to insinuate that people who serve family style must have food issues when the dining room table might be the only place they can put the food out for their guests.

Do you all have large kitchens with islands or just a lot of counter space to set up buffets on?

+1

Plus our dining room is too small for numerous people to be getting up and down during the meal to get more food in the kitchen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH just told MIL for the third time that no, we won’t be putting food on the table and passing. We’ll be serving it buffet-style from the island. She’s fighting her on this and he finally said, “No one wants to pass and pass and monitor what each other is or is not eating. We all just want to make a plate and eat.” Which has always been MY argument for hating family-style service.

(Nelson voice Ha ha!

Nice! My MIL also refuses to understand that passing family style is no longer a popular way of serving. And I agree that one of the main motivations for old people liking it is that they like to see who is taking what and how much.

really? what do you do on a daily basis? and do people really care about seeing what other people eat (that seems odd and slightly disordered)

NP. On a daily basis, we put food on the island, and either self-serve or one adult serves for the kids or whatever. Occasionally DH and I will ask the other if they want us to make them a plate. But mostly, everyone makes their own plate.

Anyway, I see you’ve never been part of an interminably long pass, pass, pass, pass holiday dinner. They are the WORST. A huge casserole dish hovering in midair while Aunt Bertha hems and haws about whether she wants this dish or that. Or MIL asks why you aren’t eating mashed rutabagas. Or FIL says “wow, you’re taking a LOT of mashed potatoes.” So much commentary about who is eating what and how much, or how no one is eating the yams and you really need to take some yams. Meanwhile the food is getting cold instead of being eaten. It’s so laborious and unnecessary.

We pass food around and this kind of thing never happens.

OK? Start your own thread dedicated to people with small houses who serve family style and it’s just fine. This thread isn’t for you, apparently.

Our house isn't small, but ok.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH just told MIL for the third time that no, we won’t be putting food on the table and passing. We’ll be serving it buffet-style from the island. She’s fighting her on this and he finally said, “No one wants to pass and pass and monitor what each other is or is not eating. We all just want to make a plate and eat.” Which has always been MY argument for hating family-style service.

(Nelson voice Ha ha!

Nice! My MIL also refuses to understand that passing family style is no longer a popular way of serving. And I agree that one of the main motivations for old people liking it is that they like to see who is taking what and how much.

DP. Interesting take and maybe that’s it. My parents are huge into family style and my dad recently asked when the grandkids, my kids, would be old enough to serve meals like this. My kids are in middle and high school. They can’t comprehend that we don’t put it all on the table to be passed around, even when I explain there’s not room on the table with everyone over and easier to have a buffet.

Our house is not big enough to have a whole separate area to set up a buffet. I have a small kitchen with limited counter space and a tiny kitchen table. The only place we have to put the food is on the dining room table so we can pass it around.
It’s annoying for posters to insinuate that people who serve family style must have food issues when the dining room table might be the only place they can put the food out for their guests.

Do you all have large kitchens with islands or just a lot of counter space to set up buffets on?

Anonymous wrote:MIL offered to bring ”an easy appetizer for the kids so they don’t get too hungry” She brought: goose liver pate, picked herring, olives with pits, and rye bread. Kids are in elementary school; they were hangry.

Anonymous wrote:My in laws are just bizarrely quiet. Nothing seems to go on in their heads.
The whole Thanksgiving conversation consists of "Could you pass the X." Which is another thing in and of itself (the annoying family style serving.) And a few comments on what the kids aren't eating.
We tried bringing up the kids' report cards, our upcoming travel, their travel last month, weddings in their family...all go over like lead balloons. Also my father is in the hospital but they didn't feel the need to ask about him.
Depressing that I married into this family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH just told MIL for the third time that no, we won’t be putting food on the table and passing. We’ll be serving it buffet-style from the island. She’s fighting her on this and he finally said, “No one wants to pass and pass and monitor what each other is or is not eating. We all just want to make a plate and eat.” Which has always been MY argument for hating family-style service.

(Nelson voice Ha ha!

Nice! My MIL also refuses to understand that passing family style is no longer a popular way of serving. And I agree that one of the main motivations for old people liking it is that they like to see who is taking what and how much.

really? what do you do on a daily basis? and do people really care about seeing what other people eat (that seems odd and slightly disordered)

NP. On a daily basis, we put food on the island, and either self-serve or one adult serves for the kids or whatever. Occasionally DH and I will ask the other if they want us to make them a plate. But mostly, everyone makes their own plate.

Anyway, I see you’ve never been part of an interminably long pass, pass, pass, pass holiday dinner. They are the WORST. A huge casserole dish hovering in midair while Aunt Bertha hems and haws about whether she wants this dish or that. Or MIL asks why you aren’t eating mashed rutabagas. Or FIL says “wow, you’re taking a LOT of mashed potatoes.” So much commentary about who is eating what and how much, or how no one is eating the yams and you really need to take some yams. Meanwhile the food is getting cold instead of being eaten. It’s so laborious and unnecessary.

We pass food around and this kind of thing never happens.

OK? Start your own thread dedicated to people with small houses who serve family style and it’s just fine. This thread isn’t for you, apparently.

Anonymous wrote:It's so funny, I never realized how sit-down, pass-around meals have gone out of fashion. We have 3 young kids and we almost always serve up their food. At a friend's house for Thanksgiving today, buffet style. I think every group meal has been, for years.
But now I'm remembering the passing around of dishes when I was a kid. And how sometimes one thing never got around to my side of the table, or I'd feel like I didn't want to ask someone who was enjoying eating to pass it to me. Most meals growing up were like this. Rarely are ours now.

Funny how that's changed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH just told MIL for the third time that no, we won’t be putting food on the table and passing. We’ll be serving it buffet-style from the island. She’s fighting her on this and he finally said, “No one wants to pass and pass and monitor what each other is or is not eating. We all just want to make a plate and eat.” Which has always been MY argument for hating family-style service.

(Nelson voice Ha ha!

Nice! My MIL also refuses to understand that passing family style is no longer a popular way of serving. And I agree that one of the main motivations for old people liking it is that they like to see who is taking what and how much.

really? what do you do on a daily basis? and do people really care about seeing what other people eat (that seems odd and slightly disordered)

NP. On a daily basis, we put food on the island, and either self-serve or one adult serves for the kids or whatever. Occasionally DH and I will ask the other if they want us to make them a plate. But mostly, everyone makes their own plate.

Anyway, I see you’ve never been part of an interminably long pass, pass, pass, pass holiday dinner. They are the WORST. A huge casserole dish hovering in midair while Aunt Bertha hems and haws about whether she wants this dish or that. Or MIL asks why you aren’t eating mashed rutabagas. Or FIL says “wow, you’re taking a LOT of mashed potatoes.” So much commentary about who is eating what and how much, or how no one is eating the yams and you really need to take some yams. Meanwhile the food is getting cold instead of being eaten. It’s so laborious and unnecessary.

We pass food around and this kind of thing never happens.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH just told MIL for the third time that no, we won’t be putting food on the table and passing. We’ll be serving it buffet-style from the island. She’s fighting her on this and he finally said, “No one wants to pass and pass and monitor what each other is or is not eating. We all just want to make a plate and eat.” Which has always been MY argument for hating family-style service.

(Nelson voice Ha ha!

Nice! My MIL also refuses to understand that passing family style is no longer a popular way of serving. And I agree that one of the main motivations for old people liking it is that they like to see who is taking what and how much.

DP. Interesting take and maybe that’s it. My parents are huge into family style and my dad recently asked when the grandkids, my kids, would be old enough to serve meals like this. My kids are in middle and high school. They can’t comprehend that we don’t put it all on the table to be passed around, even when I explain there’s not room on the table with everyone over and easier to have a buffet.

Our house is not big enough to have a whole separate area to set up a buffet. I have a small kitchen with limited counter space and a tiny kitchen table. The only place we have to put the food is on the dining room table so we can pass it around.
It’s annoying for posters to insinuate that people who serve family style must have food issues when the dining room table might be the only place they can put the food out for their guests.

Do you all have large kitchens with islands or just a lot of counter space to set up buffets on?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH just told MIL for the third time that no, we won’t be putting food on the table and passing. We’ll be serving it buffet-style from the island. She’s fighting her on this and he finally said, “No one wants to pass and pass and monitor what each other is or is not eating. We all just want to make a plate and eat.” Which has always been MY argument for hating family-style service.

(Nelson voice Ha ha!

Nice! My MIL also refuses to understand that passing family style is no longer a popular way of serving. And I agree that one of the main motivations for old people liking it is that they like to see who is taking what and how much.

DP. Interesting take and maybe that’s it. My parents are huge into family style and my dad recently asked when the grandkids, my kids, would be old enough to serve meals like this. My kids are in middle and high school. They can’t comprehend that we don’t put it all on the table to be passed around, even when I explain there’s not room on the table with everyone over and easier to have a buffet.

Our house is not big enough to have a whole separate area to set up a buffet. I have a small kitchen with limited counter space and a tiny kitchen table. The only place we have to put the food is on the dining room table so we can pass it around.
It’s annoying for posters to insinuate that people who serve family style must have food issues when the dining room table might be the only place they can put the food out for their guests.

Do you all have large kitchens with islands or just a lot of counter space to set up buffets on?

Oh get over it. The thread is telling people about weird things your families/ILs do. If the PP’s MIL were normal, she wouldn’t hover and comment about who eats what, thus creating an uncomfortable dynamic.

Stop being so insecure about your small house and move on with your day. If weird behavior doesn’t apply to you, it doesn’t apply to you. This thread is literally dedicated to recounting weird behavior.

Wow, someone had a bad Thanksgiving. You’re miserable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH just told MIL for the third time that no, we won’t be putting food on the table and passing. We’ll be serving it buffet-style from the island. She’s fighting her on this and he finally said, “No one wants to pass and pass and monitor what each other is or is not eating. We all just want to make a plate and eat.” Which has always been MY argument for hating family-style service.

(Nelson voice Ha ha!

Nice! My MIL also refuses to understand that passing family style is no longer a popular way of serving. And I agree that one of the main motivations for old people liking it is that they like to see who is taking what and how much.

really? what do you do on a daily basis? and do people really care about seeing what other people eat (that seems odd and slightly disordered)

NP. On a daily basis, we put food on the island, and either self-serve or one adult serves for the kids or whatever. Occasionally DH and I will ask the other if they want us to make them a plate. But mostly, everyone makes their own plate.

Anyway, I see you’ve never been part of an interminably long pass, pass, pass, pass holiday dinner. They are the WORST. A huge casserole dish hovering in midair while Aunt Bertha hems and haws about whether she wants this dish or that. Or MIL asks why you aren’t eating mashed rutabagas. Or FIL says “wow, you’re taking a LOT of mashed potatoes.” So much commentary about who is eating what and how much, or how no one is eating the yams and you really need to take some yams. Meanwhile the food is getting cold instead of being eaten. It’s so laborious and unnecessary.