My daughter was basically born hating me and has been super independent since birth. It’s really getting awful now that she’s 15 but as long as she’s been alive she’s never really wanted parents. I’ve done my own personal therapy and she had her own therapist she sees weekly and we have a family therapist we see weekly. I’ve had a parent coach. I’ve gone to classes. I’ve read all the books (so has DH).

She’s had a neuropsych exam ($$$$) that found nothing. I was really hoping we could find some answers.

To me it’s heart breaking. It’s like she never attached to us despite me being a SAHM, loving her so much, doing all the activities with her at all stages, taking her on special mommy and me trips, coming to all her games and supporting her interests. Today she reminded me “I hate you”.

My entire family growing up—mom, dad, and brother have all died in the past 18 months. Dealing with the grief, as well as feeling alone, has been all consuming.

Anonymous wrote:Immediately - I am staying in a hotel because when I woke my husband up to ask him to out on a snore strip (I have been woken up by his snoring and asked him to get some for the past 2 nights before this) he stormed out of the room, broke a glass in the living room, blamed me for the broken glass, called me an ***hole. We have no spare room so I went to a hotel.
So… that’s my current battle. And obv just the tip of the iceberg

I've ended relationships over snoring. It's impossible to sleep with a snorer and chronic sleep deprivation is literal torture.
And as kind as you try to be about it at first, they can be so defensive and dismissive.

Non snorer, separate bedrooms or we just don't live together. Non-negotiable for me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:25 year marriage is millimeters from falling over the rail.
Expenses are skyrocketing and income has never been lower.
Assets are not selling.
There’s a pressure in my chest that will occasionally radiate into my left arm.
I have a molar that needs to come out and I can’t afford to do so.

I feel you. Chemo plus fear of dentist have destroyed my teeth and I’m looking at $24,000 in dental work. I have tooth pain but I can’t get myself back to the dentist. I have fear and always pain that the dentists always seem to trivialize. I hate them.

Is there a dental school near you?

PLEASE get it taken care of. I am serious. I am always busy and on the go and I hate the dentist anyways and I ignore the pain. Guess what? I finally went in when the pain began screaming and they said I have an infection in my jaw bone from a phantom canal stemming from old dental work that failed. I went in to get the extraction and the infection was staggering and I was a hope and prayer away from getting a partial jaw replacement as they had to remove so much bone. Now, I need 2 bone grafts and an implant. I should have learned my lesson as this happened 7 years ago and it landed me in the hospital with lock jaw and sepsis. I nearly lsot my life at that time and I was hospitalized for a week. PLEASE get it taken care of.

Anonymous wrote:I am middle school teacher at my DD's school (private - not in DC). Want to quit because I am so burned out. I have a couple sections where behavior is so bad, I want to cry each class. No help from admins. Cannot quit because I would have to pay back a steep tuition discount and burn bridges for my daughter.

teaching is horrifically bad all around. I don't know why. I'm in my 25th year and can't believe how kids are acting. And no administrative support. They used to have our backs. I have no idea how and why that changed.

I am middle school teacher at my DD's school (private - not in DC). Want to quit because I am so burned out. I have a couple sections where behavior is so bad, I want to cry each class. No help from admins. Cannot quit because I would have to pay back a steep tuition discount and burn bridges for my daughter.

Anonymous wrote:Much love to you all.

My DIL has not spoken to me in over a year except to ask for money. For the last 3 years we have picked up the tab for Christmas. Not that we're counting but over $20,000 in that time. That includes birthdays. And all we got was a picture of them dressed up to go to church. And it looked like an old picture. No video of our grandchild opening gifts, no Merry Christmas, nothing. She "forgot". We're still waiting for any pictures. Son doesn't say anything except make excuses.
I have decided not to fund this year. I just can't give to people that only know me when they want something. And I feel like a pos for what I'm going to do.

do they ask for the money?
if they ask you could just say you can't manage it this year. you don't have to tell them it's bc they're ungrateful.

Much love to you all.

My DIL has not spoken to me in over a year except to ask for money. For the last 3 years we have picked up the tab for Christmas. Not that we're counting but over $20,000 in that time. That includes birthdays. And all we got was a picture of them dressed up to go to church. And it looked like an old picture. No video of our grandchild opening gifts, no Merry Christmas, nothing. She "forgot". We're still waiting for any pictures. Son doesn't say anything except make excuses.
I have decided not to fund this year. I just can't give to people that only know me when they want something. And I feel like a pos for what I'm going to do.

Can't seem to clear out our bedroom closet and use it just for clothes.

I can never be happy with my life, even though I am blessed beyond what I deserve.

- Dealing with PPA after birth of third child and trying to get into some sort of routine with an infant and two young kids under 6. Seeing a therapist for the PPA (and it is helping, slowly but surely).
- Had to give up two beloved activities which kept my sanity... there just aren't enough hours in the day to do it all. I can go back later on after the kids are older, but lamenting the loss of outside activities I really enjoyed and the sense of community that came with them.
- Dad has suffered a cascade of health problems beginning a few years ago, to include cancer, a mental break that resulted in his having to retire early, and broken bones. The cancer is gone, thankfully, but recovery has been long and hard and there've been a lot of unexpected challenges and bumps along the road.
- Mom has been overwhelmed with Dad's (and brother's) health issues and has transformed from an active and loving grandma into a angry and bitter shell of her former self. Will not seek therapy or additional help for herself.
- Brother is dealing with mental health issues and untreated anxiety that've been going on for years. He and I don't have much of a relationship - we are cordial, but distant. He has treated me and our other siblings horribly in the past and brought my parents to the brink of divorce. He lives at home with my parents and is not working at the moment. Mom is desperate to get him out of their house, and so is leaning on me to convince him to move and to "check in with him to see how he is doing." There is now a rift between us because I gently explained that a) I have no influence over my brother whatsoever, and b) this isn't my problem to fix - if they want him out of the house, they have to take steps to make that happen. Frustrated because I don't know what to say to my mom when I get these requests to "check in" on my brother, and resentful that my brother's eaten up so much of my parents' livelihoods leaving little time or attention for me and my kids, who want nothing more than to see their grandparents.
- MIL's health is rapidly declining and DH is depressed as a result.
- House needs a major repair that we simply cannot afford at the moment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:25 year marriage is millimeters from falling over the rail.
Expenses are skyrocketing and income has never been lower.
Assets are not selling.
There’s a pressure in my chest that will occasionally radiate into my left arm.
I have a molar that needs to come out and I can’t afford to do so.

I feel you. Chemo plus fear of dentist have destroyed my teeth and I’m looking at $24,000 in dental work. I have tooth pain but I can’t get myself back to the dentist. I have fear and always pain that the dentists always seem to trivialize. I hate them.

Is there a dental school near you?

DP - For those in the DC/Baltimore area, the University of MD and Howard both have dental schools that offer low cost care.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Admitted I was an alcoholic started going to AA and I've been sober for two weeks. Terrified of relapsing.

. Well done, PP. it is hard and scary, but you are being brave and strong and it is a true gift to yourself and your love ones. One day at a time. You can do this! Even if you falter, you know you can start again. Keep going; you deserve sobriety.

Thanks you. One day at a time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Admitted I was an alcoholic started going to AA and I've been sober for two weeks. Terrified of relapsing.

Take it one day at a time. One hour at a time, if necessary. You can do it.
And if you relapse, you can get back on the wagon and try again.

Thank you. The one day at a time mantra has been very helpful but I don't want to fool myself. And I hate to go to a meeting admit I relapsed and have to start all over again. But your words and my fellow AA's encouragement has kept me going this past two weeks.

Anonymous wrote:25 year marriage is millimeters from falling over the rail.
Expenses are skyrocketing and income has never been lower.
Assets are not selling.
There’s a pressure in my chest that will occasionally radiate into my left arm.
I have a molar that needs to come out and I can’t afford to do so.

I feel you. Chemo plus fear of dentist have destroyed my teeth and I’m looking at $24,000 in dental work. I have tooth pain but I can’t get myself back to the dentist. I have fear and always pain that the dentists always seem to trivialize. I hate them.

Is there a dental school near you?