Anonymous
10/12/2023 16:34
Subject: Re:MIL buying items on my baby registry for herself
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP’s instincts aren’t wrong.
This behavior is ONLY helpful if OP and her husband have already decided that they plan frequent and lengthy visits with MIL, use MIL for babysitting and child care, and plan to leave the baby there. It sounds like OP and her husband haven’t made those decisions yet but MIL is presuming she’s going to be hosting the baby frequently. It’s the presumptuous behavior and if MIL has already shown herself to be overstepping, whiny, demanding or whatever would be a very bad sign.
The things that would be helpful for short, non weekly visits would be a pack and play, high chair and child proofing the house. MIL doesn’t need a crib, changing station, car seat, second set of clothes, diapers, bottles, bouncy seat, swing, stroller etc.
OP and her husband should have a conversation with MIL to figure out what her intentions/expectations are with outfitting a nursery at her house. OP and her husband then need to start thinking what will work best for them and their baby.
Helpful hint: you don't need to plan out an unborn baby's life before it is even born. Part of being a good parent is being flexible. OP has no idea how this is all going to play out.
So wouldn’t you then think that OP’s MIL is already planning how her unborn grand baby’s life is going to be. What if OP has a boundary stomping MIL and doesn’t want her baby at her MIL’s home?
No. I don't that at all. Are you always this negative? The glass is half empty? MIL has probably gotten advice from her friends who are grandparents that readying a home for a grandchild is a good idea. Beats having a MIL with a house full of sharp edges breakable tchotchke, unprotected pools, dangerous stairs, and many other problems. So she bought a high chair. Oh no! Time to panic.
The PP’s point just flew over your head, must be age related cognitive decline. You chide the DIL for not being flexible in waiting to see what is useful but see no problem in granny trampling ahead and outfitting her house making plans for the baby to stay there. It would be far more logical for granny to wait and see how often her son and family want to come to their house and what they need.
Granny bought the stuff on sale. Sales don't last forever. I don't really care what goes on at my MILs house. She could have bought all the things but if I wasn't planning to take the baby there, then so what? As it is I haven't visited my MILs house in about 10 years. She visits us only.
who are kidding, there’s always sales somewhere. If granny cared about saving money, she wouldn’t be so presumptuous and ask OP before she bought items for her home.
Ask her… what? If she, the grandmother, wants a high chair?
Granny is using the high chair for herself? I think not. She could’ve asked OP does she have any intent of coming over often. Then she can see if it’s necessary to buy items of her own from the registry.
This c10000
Maybe OP can answer these questions for herself, instead of her spokespeople on here. For all we know she asked her son and he said "great idea!"
Anonymous
10/12/2023 16:27
Subject: Re:MIL buying items on my baby registry for herself
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP’s instincts aren’t wrong.
This behavior is ONLY helpful if OP and her husband have already decided that they plan frequent and lengthy visits with MIL, use MIL for babysitting and child care, and plan to leave the baby there. It sounds like OP and her husband haven’t made those decisions yet but MIL is presuming she’s going to be hosting the baby frequently. It’s the presumptuous behavior and if MIL has already shown herself to be overstepping, whiny, demanding or whatever would be a very bad sign.
The things that would be helpful for short, non weekly visits would be a pack and play, high chair and child proofing the house. MIL doesn’t need a crib, changing station, car seat, second set of clothes, diapers, bottles, bouncy seat, swing, stroller etc.
OP and her husband should have a conversation with MIL to figure out what her intentions/expectations are with outfitting a nursery at her house. OP and her husband then need to start thinking what will work best for them and their baby.
Helpful hint: you don't need to plan out an unborn baby's life before it is even born. Part of being a good parent is being flexible. OP has no idea how this is all going to play out.
So wouldn’t you then think that OP’s MIL is already planning how her unborn grand baby’s life is going to be. What if OP has a boundary stomping MIL and doesn’t want her baby at her MIL’s home?
No. I don't that at all. Are you always this negative? The glass is half empty? MIL has probably gotten advice from her friends who are grandparents that readying a home for a grandchild is a good idea. Beats having a MIL with a house full of sharp edges breakable tchotchke, unprotected pools, dangerous stairs, and many other problems. So she bought a high chair. Oh no! Time to panic.
The PP’s point just flew over your head, must be age related cognitive decline. You chide the DIL for not being flexible in waiting to see what is useful but see no problem in granny trampling ahead and outfitting her house making plans for the baby to stay there. It would be far more logical for granny to wait and see how often her son and family want to come to their house and what they need.
Granny bought the stuff on sale. Sales don't last forever. I don't really care what goes on at my MILs house. She could have bought all the things but if I wasn't planning to take the baby there, then so what? As it is I haven't visited my MILs house in about 10 years. She visits us only.
who are kidding, there’s always sales somewhere. If granny cared about saving money, she wouldn’t be so presumptuous and ask OP before she bought items for her home.
Ask her… what? If she, the grandmother, wants a high chair?
Granny is using the high chair for herself? I think not. She could’ve asked OP does she have any intent of coming over often. Then she can see if it’s necessary to buy items of her own from the registry.
This c10000
Anonymous
10/12/2023 16:26
Subject: Re:MIL buying items on my baby registry for herself
So glad that I have girls as being a MIL to a son's wife is apparently not easy
Anonymous
10/12/2023 16:22
Subject: Re:MIL buying items on my baby registry for herself
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP’s instincts aren’t wrong.
This behavior is ONLY helpful if OP and her husband have already decided that they plan frequent and lengthy visits with MIL, use MIL for babysitting and child care, and plan to leave the baby there. It sounds like OP and her husband haven’t made those decisions yet but MIL is presuming she’s going to be hosting the baby frequently. It’s the presumptuous behavior and if MIL has already shown herself to be overstepping, whiny, demanding or whatever would be a very bad sign.
The things that would be helpful for short, non weekly visits would be a pack and play, high chair and child proofing the house. MIL doesn’t need a crib, changing station, car seat, second set of clothes, diapers, bottles, bouncy seat, swing, stroller etc.
OP and her husband should have a conversation with MIL to figure out what her intentions/expectations are with outfitting a nursery at her house. OP and her husband then need to start thinking what will work best for them and their baby.
Helpful hint: you don't need to plan out an unborn baby's life before it is even born. Part of being a good parent is being flexible. OP has no idea how this is all going to play out.
So wouldn’t you then think that OP’s MIL is already planning how her unborn grand baby’s life is going to be. What if OP has a boundary stomping MIL and doesn’t want her baby at her MIL’s home?
No. I don't that at all. Are you always this negative? The glass is half empty? MIL has probably gotten advice from her friends who are grandparents that readying a home for a grandchild is a good idea. Beats having a MIL with a house full of sharp edges breakable tchotchke, unprotected pools, dangerous stairs, and many other problems. So she bought a high chair. Oh no! Time to panic.
The PP’s point just flew over your head, must be age related cognitive decline. You chide the DIL for not being flexible in waiting to see what is useful but see no problem in granny trampling ahead and outfitting her house making plans for the baby to stay there. It would be far more logical for granny to wait and see how often her son and family want to come to their house and what they need.
Granny bought the stuff on sale. Sales don't last forever. I don't really care what goes on at my MILs house. She could have bought all the things but if I wasn't planning to take the baby there, then so what? As it is I haven't visited my MILs house in about 10 years. She visits us only.
who are kidding, there’s always sales somewhere. If granny cared about saving money, she wouldn’t be so presumptuous and ask OP before she bought items for her home.
Ask her… what? If she, the grandmother, wants a high chair?
Granny is using the high chair for herself? I think not. She could’ve asked OP does she have any intent of coming over often. Then she can see if it’s necessary to buy items of her own from the registry.
Anonymous
10/12/2023 16:22
Subject: MIL buying items on my baby registry for herself
Anonymous wrote:Op here, my shower isn’t yet so I haven’t been gifted any items. I find it weird that she would buy these items for herself and not buy items for my household first. I guess I’m here to ask if I am in the right to find this weird or it’s no big deal.
OP, this is a big deal - meaning that YOU need to relax and stand down. You seem ready to pounce at this woman who from what you described is doing a wonderful thing. She is respecting YOUR wishes and choices in baby items and is obviously excited to be a grandparent. So far, OP, it looks like you won the grandparent lottery yet you seem to see malice in her respectful and sweet actions. The problem here is you OP. Your MIL sounds great!
Anonymous
10/12/2023 16:16
Subject: Re:MIL buying items on my baby registry for herself
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP’s instincts aren’t wrong.
This behavior is ONLY helpful if OP and her husband have already decided that they plan frequent and lengthy visits with MIL, use MIL for babysitting and child care, and plan to leave the baby there. It sounds like OP and her husband haven’t made those decisions yet but MIL is presuming she’s going to be hosting the baby frequently. It’s the presumptuous behavior and if MIL has already shown herself to be overstepping, whiny, demanding or whatever would be a very bad sign.
The things that would be helpful for short, non weekly visits would be a pack and play, high chair and child proofing the house. MIL doesn’t need a crib, changing station, car seat, second set of clothes, diapers, bottles, bouncy seat, swing, stroller etc.
OP and her husband should have a conversation with MIL to figure out what her intentions/expectations are with outfitting a nursery at her house. OP and her husband then need to start thinking what will work best for them and their baby.
Helpful hint: you don't need to plan out an unborn baby's life before it is even born. Part of being a good parent is being flexible. OP has no idea how this is all going to play out.
So wouldn’t you then think that OP’s MIL is already planning how her unborn grand baby’s life is going to be. What if OP has a boundary stomping MIL and doesn’t want her baby at her MIL’s home?
No. I don't that at all. Are you always this negative? The glass is half empty? MIL has probably gotten advice from her friends who are grandparents that readying a home for a grandchild is a good idea. Beats having a MIL with a house full of sharp edges breakable tchotchke, unprotected pools, dangerous stairs, and many other problems. So she bought a high chair. Oh no! Time to panic.
The PP’s point just flew over your head, must be age related cognitive decline. You chide the DIL for not being flexible in waiting to see what is useful but see no problem in granny trampling ahead and outfitting her house making plans for the baby to stay there. It would be far more logical for granny to wait and see how often her son and family want to come to their house and what they need.
Granny bought the stuff on sale. Sales don't last forever. I don't really care what goes on at my MILs house. She could have bought all the things but if I wasn't planning to take the baby there, then so what? As it is I haven't visited my MILs house in about 10 years. She visits us only.
who are kidding, there’s always sales somewhere. If granny cared about saving money, she wouldn’t be so presumptuous and ask OP before she bought items for her home.
Ask her… what? If she, the grandmother, wants a high chair?
Anonymous
10/12/2023 16:15
Subject: MIL buying items on my baby registry for herself
I have a really rough relationship with my own MIL but this wouldn't bug me. I do remember how exhausted and stressed I was when pregnant with my first kid though, so have sympathy for OP's fretting that the purchases indicate or mean something bigger than they likely do.
I'd just focus on being relieved she didn't buy a bunch of stuff secondhand that is now considered dangerous...trust me, when grandparents do that, it gets awkward fast.
I'd just focus on being relieved she didn't buy a bunch of stuff secondhand that is now considered dangerous...trust me, when grandparents do that, it gets awkward fast.
Anonymous
10/12/2023 16:14
Subject: Re:MIL buying items on my baby registry for herself
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP’s instincts aren’t wrong.
This behavior is ONLY helpful if OP and her husband have already decided that they plan frequent and lengthy visits with MIL, use MIL for babysitting and child care, and plan to leave the baby there. It sounds like OP and her husband haven’t made those decisions yet but MIL is presuming she’s going to be hosting the baby frequently. It’s the presumptuous behavior and if MIL has already shown herself to be overstepping, whiny, demanding or whatever would be a very bad sign.
The things that would be helpful for short, non weekly visits would be a pack and play, high chair and child proofing the house. MIL doesn’t need a crib, changing station, car seat, second set of clothes, diapers, bottles, bouncy seat, swing, stroller etc.
OP and her husband should have a conversation with MIL to figure out what her intentions/expectations are with outfitting a nursery at her house. OP and her husband then need to start thinking what will work best for them and their baby.
Helpful hint: you don't need to plan out an unborn baby's life before it is even born. Part of being a good parent is being flexible. OP has no idea how this is all going to play out.
So wouldn’t you then think that OP’s MIL is already planning how her unborn grand baby’s life is going to be. What if OP has a boundary stomping MIL and doesn’t want her baby at her MIL’s home?
No. I don't that at all. Are you always this negative? The glass is half empty? MIL has probably gotten advice from her friends who are grandparents that readying a home for a grandchild is a good idea. Beats having a MIL with a house full of sharp edges breakable tchotchke, unprotected pools, dangerous stairs, and many other problems. So she bought a high chair. Oh no! Time to panic.
The PP’s point just flew over your head, must be age related cognitive decline. You chide the DIL for not being flexible in waiting to see what is useful but see no problem in granny trampling ahead and outfitting her house making plans for the baby to stay there. It would be far more logical for granny to wait and see how often her son and family want to come to their house and what they need.
Granny bought the stuff on sale. Sales don't last forever. I don't really care what goes on at my MILs house. She could have bought all the things but if I wasn't planning to take the baby there, then so what? As it is I haven't visited my MILs house in about 10 years. She visits us only.
who are kidding, there’s always sales somewhere. If granny cared about saving money, she wouldn’t be so presumptuous and ask OP before she bought items for her home.
she doesn't need her permission to buy things for her home.
Anonymous
10/12/2023 16:10
Subject: MIL buying items on my baby registry for herself
Pretty funny thread, what a horrible MIL!
Let's start one about how the MIL does everything the DIL wants her to do but is obviously only doing it to piss the DIL off.
Let's start one about how the MIL does everything the DIL wants her to do but is obviously only doing it to piss the DIL off.
Anonymous
10/12/2023 16:08
Subject: Re:MIL buying items on my baby registry for herself
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP’s instincts aren’t wrong.
This behavior is ONLY helpful if OP and her husband have already decided that they plan frequent and lengthy visits with MIL, use MIL for babysitting and child care, and plan to leave the baby there. It sounds like OP and her husband haven’t made those decisions yet but MIL is presuming she’s going to be hosting the baby frequently. It’s the presumptuous behavior and if MIL has already shown herself to be overstepping, whiny, demanding or whatever would be a very bad sign.
The things that would be helpful for short, non weekly visits would be a pack and play, high chair and child proofing the house. MIL doesn’t need a crib, changing station, car seat, second set of clothes, diapers, bottles, bouncy seat, swing, stroller etc.
OP and her husband should have a conversation with MIL to figure out what her intentions/expectations are with outfitting a nursery at her house. OP and her husband then need to start thinking what will work best for them and their baby.
Helpful hint: you don't need to plan out an unborn baby's life before it is even born. Part of being a good parent is being flexible. OP has no idea how this is all going to play out.
So wouldn’t you then think that OP’s MIL is already planning how her unborn grand baby’s life is going to be. What if OP has a boundary stomping MIL and doesn’t want her baby at her MIL’s home?
No. I don't that at all. Are you always this negative? The glass is half empty? MIL has probably gotten advice from her friends who are grandparents that readying a home for a grandchild is a good idea. Beats having a MIL with a house full of sharp edges breakable tchotchke, unprotected pools, dangerous stairs, and many other problems. So she bought a high chair. Oh no! Time to panic.
The PP’s point just flew over your head, must be age related cognitive decline. You chide the DIL for not being flexible in waiting to see what is useful but see no problem in granny trampling ahead and outfitting her house making plans for the baby to stay there. It would be far more logical for granny to wait and see how often her son and family want to come to their house and what they need.
Granny bought the stuff on sale. Sales don't last forever. I don't really care what goes on at my MILs house. She could have bought all the things but if I wasn't planning to take the baby there, then so what? As it is I haven't visited my MILs house in about 10 years. She visits us only.
who are kidding, there’s always sales somewhere. If granny cared about saving money, she wouldn’t be so presumptuous and ask OP before she bought items for her home.
Anonymous
10/12/2023 16:07
Subject: Re:MIL buying items on my baby registry for herself
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP’s instincts aren’t wrong.
This behavior is ONLY helpful if OP and her husband have already decided that they plan frequent and lengthy visits with MIL, use MIL for babysitting and child care, and plan to leave the baby there. It sounds like OP and her husband haven’t made those decisions yet but MIL is presuming she’s going to be hosting the baby frequently. It’s the presumptuous behavior and if MIL has already shown herself to be overstepping, whiny, demanding or whatever would be a very bad sign.
The things that would be helpful for short, non weekly visits would be a pack and play, high chair and child proofing the house. MIL doesn’t need a crib, changing station, car seat, second set of clothes, diapers, bottles, bouncy seat, swing, stroller etc.
OP and her husband should have a conversation with MIL to figure out what her intentions/expectations are with outfitting a nursery at her house. OP and her husband then need to start thinking what will work best for them and their baby.
Helpful hint: you don't need to plan out an unborn baby's life before it is even born. Part of being a good parent is being flexible. OP has no idea how this is all going to play out.
So wouldn’t you then think that OP’s MIL is already planning how her unborn grand baby’s life is going to be. What if OP has a boundary stomping MIL and doesn’t want her baby at her MIL’s home?
No. I don't that at all. Are you always this negative? The glass is half empty? MIL has probably gotten advice from her friends who are grandparents that readying a home for a grandchild is a good idea. Beats having a MIL with a house full of sharp edges breakable tchotchke, unprotected pools, dangerous stairs, and many other problems. So she bought a high chair. Oh no! Time to panic.
The PP’s point just flew over your head, must be age related cognitive decline. You chide the DIL for not being flexible in waiting to see what is useful but see no problem in granny trampling ahead and outfitting her house making plans for the baby to stay there. It would be far more logical for granny to wait and see how often her son and family want to come to their house and what they need.
This x1000
DP, but the advice is for OP because the MIL isn't here asking for advice. That wasn't me, but I agree that OP should not do anything now and should wait and see how things go after the baby is here. If MIL were posting, I'd also say don't buy a bunch of stuff, but she's not asking the questions.
Anonymous
10/12/2023 16:02
Subject: Re:MIL buying items on my baby registry for herself
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP’s instincts aren’t wrong.
This behavior is ONLY helpful if OP and her husband have already decided that they plan frequent and lengthy visits with MIL, use MIL for babysitting and child care, and plan to leave the baby there. It sounds like OP and her husband haven’t made those decisions yet but MIL is presuming she’s going to be hosting the baby frequently. It’s the presumptuous behavior and if MIL has already shown herself to be overstepping, whiny, demanding or whatever would be a very bad sign.
The things that would be helpful for short, non weekly visits would be a pack and play, high chair and child proofing the house. MIL doesn’t need a crib, changing station, car seat, second set of clothes, diapers, bottles, bouncy seat, swing, stroller etc.
OP and her husband should have a conversation with MIL to figure out what her intentions/expectations are with outfitting a nursery at her house. OP and her husband then need to start thinking what will work best for them and their baby.
Helpful hint: you don't need to plan out an unborn baby's life before it is even born. Part of being a good parent is being flexible. OP has no idea how this is all going to play out.
So wouldn’t you then think that OP’s MIL is already planning how her unborn grand baby’s life is going to be. What if OP has a boundary stomping MIL and doesn’t want her baby at her MIL’s home?
No. I don't that at all. Are you always this negative? The glass is half empty? MIL has probably gotten advice from her friends who are grandparents that readying a home for a grandchild is a good idea. Beats having a MIL with a house full of sharp edges breakable tchotchke, unprotected pools, dangerous stairs, and many other problems. So she bought a high chair. Oh no! Time to panic.
The PP’s point just flew over your head, must be age related cognitive decline. You chide the DIL for not being flexible in waiting to see what is useful but see no problem in granny trampling ahead and outfitting her house making plans for the baby to stay there. It would be far more logical for granny to wait and see how often her son and family want to come to their house and what they need.
Granny bought the stuff on sale. Sales don't last forever. I don't really care what goes on at my MILs house. She could have bought all the things but if I wasn't planning to take the baby there, then so what? As it is I haven't visited my MILs house in about 10 years. She visits us only.
Anonymous
10/12/2023 15:34
Subject: Re:MIL buying items on my baby registry for herself
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP’s instincts aren’t wrong.
This behavior is ONLY helpful if OP and her husband have already decided that they plan frequent and lengthy visits with MIL, use MIL for babysitting and child care, and plan to leave the baby there. It sounds like OP and her husband haven’t made those decisions yet but MIL is presuming she’s going to be hosting the baby frequently. It’s the presumptuous behavior and if MIL has already shown herself to be overstepping, whiny, demanding or whatever would be a very bad sign.
The things that would be helpful for short, non weekly visits would be a pack and play, high chair and child proofing the house. MIL doesn’t need a crib, changing station, car seat, second set of clothes, diapers, bottles, bouncy seat, swing, stroller etc.
OP and her husband should have a conversation with MIL to figure out what her intentions/expectations are with outfitting a nursery at her house. OP and her husband then need to start thinking what will work best for them and their baby.
Helpful hint: you don't need to plan out an unborn baby's life before it is even born. Part of being a good parent is being flexible. OP has no idea how this is all going to play out.
So wouldn’t you then think that OP’s MIL is already planning how her unborn grand baby’s life is going to be. What if OP has a boundary stomping MIL and doesn’t want her baby at her MIL’s home?
No. I don't that at all. Are you always this negative? The glass is half empty? MIL has probably gotten advice from her friends who are grandparents that readying a home for a grandchild is a good idea. Beats having a MIL with a house full of sharp edges breakable tchotchke, unprotected pools, dangerous stairs, and many other problems. So she bought a high chair. Oh no! Time to panic.
The PP’s point just flew over your head, must be age related cognitive decline. You chide the DIL for not being flexible in waiting to see what is useful but see no problem in granny trampling ahead and outfitting her house making plans for the baby to stay there. It would be far more logical for granny to wait and see how often her son and family want to come to their house and what they need.
This x1000
Anonymous
10/12/2023 15:32
Subject: Re:MIL buying items on my baby registry for herself
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP’s instincts aren’t wrong.
This behavior is ONLY helpful if OP and her husband have already decided that they plan frequent and lengthy visits with MIL, use MIL for babysitting and child care, and plan to leave the baby there. It sounds like OP and her husband haven’t made those decisions yet but MIL is presuming she’s going to be hosting the baby frequently. It’s the presumptuous behavior and if MIL has already shown herself to be overstepping, whiny, demanding or whatever would be a very bad sign.
The things that would be helpful for short, non weekly visits would be a pack and play, high chair and child proofing the house. MIL doesn’t need a crib, changing station, car seat, second set of clothes, diapers, bottles, bouncy seat, swing, stroller etc.
OP and her husband should have a conversation with MIL to figure out what her intentions/expectations are with outfitting a nursery at her house. OP and her husband then need to start thinking what will work best for them and their baby.
Helpful hint: you don't need to plan out an unborn baby's life before it is even born. Part of being a good parent is being flexible. OP has no idea how this is all going to play out.
So wouldn’t you then think that OP’s MIL is already planning how her unborn grand baby’s life is going to be. What if OP has a boundary stomping MIL and doesn’t want her baby at her MIL’s home?
No. I don't that at all. Are you always this negative? The glass is half empty? MIL has probably gotten advice from her friends who are grandparents that readying a home for a grandchild is a good idea. Beats having a MIL with a house full of sharp edges breakable tchotchke, unprotected pools, dangerous stairs, and many other problems. So she bought a high chair. Oh no! Time to panic.
The PP’s point just flew over your head, must be age related cognitive decline. You chide the DIL for not being flexible in waiting to see what is useful but see no problem in granny trampling ahead and outfitting her house making plans for the baby to stay there. It would be far more logical for granny to wait and see how often her son and family want to come to their house and what they need.
Anonymous
10/12/2023 15:27
Subject: Re:MIL buying items on my baby registry for herself
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP’s instincts aren’t wrong.
This behavior is ONLY helpful if OP and her husband have already decided that they plan frequent and lengthy visits with MIL, use MIL for babysitting and child care, and plan to leave the baby there. It sounds like OP and her husband haven’t made those decisions yet but MIL is presuming she’s going to be hosting the baby frequently. It’s the presumptuous behavior and if MIL has already shown herself to be overstepping, whiny, demanding or whatever would be a very bad sign.
The things that would be helpful for short, non weekly visits would be a pack and play, high chair and child proofing the house. MIL doesn’t need a crib, changing station, car seat, second set of clothes, diapers, bottles, bouncy seat, swing, stroller etc.
OP and her husband should have a conversation with MIL to figure out what her intentions/expectations are with outfitting a nursery at her house. OP and her husband then need to start thinking what will work best for them and their baby.
Helpful hint: you don't need to plan out an unborn baby's life before it is even born. Part of being a good parent is being flexible. OP has no idea how this is all going to play out.
So wouldn’t you then think that OP’s MIL is already planning how her unborn grand baby’s life is going to be. What if OP has a boundary stomping MIL and doesn’t want her baby at her MIL’s home?
No. I don't that at all. Are you always this negative? The glass is half empty? MIL has probably gotten advice from her friends who are grandparents that readying a home for a grandchild is a good idea. Beats having a MIL with a house full of sharp edges breakable tchotchke, unprotected pools, dangerous stairs, and many other problems. So she bought a high chair. Oh no! Time to panic.