Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

Priced out of what? You can comfortably afford a house but it's not what you want so stop complaining. You can buy a $600-700K house comfortably.

That doesn’t buy you anything someone making $300,000 with two kids would want to live in here.

We make that amount and live in a $400K 1000 square foot house. It's not about where you want, it's what you can afford at the time of purchase. Time to grow up.

Congratulations, I guess, that you don’t feel bitter that someone making your salary can only afford 1,000 sq ft. A lot of us realize it’s like this because corporations, rich people, foreigners, and foreign countries are buying land and houses for profit and pricing out Americans who earn their paychecks here. It’s frustrating and wrong.

It's not just DC. It's happening in many parts of the country. I've said this before, but we need laws that prohibit rentals for foreign-owned properties and limits for corporate owned rentals. It will never happen due to lobbyists.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

What do you consider a tear down?

A house that requires more than 100k of rehab work after purchase or cannot be rehabbed without being torn down to the foundation.

The realtor we looked at houses with showed us two of these. Then he told us to ask our parents for another 200k so he could put us into a house for 1.1.

We have credit scores over 800.

A big part of the problem is this expectation that everybody needs to spend $100k plus on a sparkling new kitchen and bathrooms, and let's redo the floors while we're at it.

Some of you need to learn to live with dated kitchen cabinets for a few or even 10 years. Splurge on a new stove if you want.

This. Buying a home (or in OP's case upgrading to a SFH) in a HCOL area requires either A) a lot of money or B) sacrifices. Renting a SFH was a poor decision, OP. You should have stayed in the condo and lived on a strict budget until you could afford to buy a SFH. If you're in your 40's now and you have kids, then you had years to figure this out and save.

I lived very cheaply with roommates and saved for a home. DH did the same. We each bought before we met. We lived in my home with dated everything and fixed it up as time and money allowed. We each bought a home, then got married, then had kids. You can switch the order of marriage and buying a home, but it's really hard to save for a SFH when you're paying for childcare and don't have a high HHI.

If you're really serious about buying a SFH, then you need to cut your costs to save more. Spending a lot on renting a SFH when your HHI is $300K and you already have kids makes it hard to save for a SFH.

I am paying 2.5k/month in rent and have no debt. Did I cut expenses enough for you?

I'll try dog food for the family, too. That might help us save enough.

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent with your HHI when also trying to save to buy a house. Many of us explained to you that you chose not to scrimp and save earlier. That's how many of us in your situation afforded to buy the SFH. You want what other people have without making the sacrifices they made.

But the bigger point is that you can't afford what you want now because you can't go back in time and make different decisions. So if you want to buy a house now, then you either cut expenses (including rent) to save more, increase income, or reassess your criteria.

OP is being defensive but lol at the idea that 2500 is a lot to spend on rent for a family.

But ultimately OP - I agree with the PPs who say you need to shift expectations. We have your numbers and purchased a house within the past year in Silver Spring just outside the beltway (so, near the Forest Glen metro). Decent schools, nice communities, and well within your price range. I think you’re more interested in NOVA but just wanted to share a MoCo option in case you’re actually looking for solutions here (or in case it’s helpful for someone else).

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent, period. OP is forced into paying this now because she didn't take the opportunity to save more before kids.

This is the dumbest take in this entire thread. Have you looked at the actual cost of home ownership? In this area? If OP has her family in a nice apartment, in a nice location, with good schools and a decent commute for only $2500 a month she would be FAR better off to just stay there and invest the difference in her rent vs mortgage + property tax + insurance + repair/maintenance costs, etc. Then she can eventually buy the house of her dreams (but maybe in a different location). Or she can retire early and travel the world! Or whatever!

Ok, but OP isn't happy renting the SFH. She wants to buy, but can't afford what she wants.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

Priced out of what? You can comfortably afford a house but it's not what you want so stop complaining. You can buy a $600-700K house comfortably.

That doesn’t buy you anything someone making $300,000 with two kids would want to live in here.

We make that amount and live in a $400K 1000 square foot house. It's not about where you want, it's what you can afford at the time of purchase. Time to grow up.

Congratulations, I guess, that you don’t feel bitter that someone making your salary can only afford 1,000 sq ft. A lot of us realize it’s like this because corporations, rich people, foreigners, and foreign countries are buying land and houses for profit and pricing out Americans who earn their paychecks here. It’s frustrating and wrong.

Seriously if this is your life you need to move cities bc that is pathetic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

Priced out of what? You can comfortably afford a house but it's not what you want so stop complaining. You can buy a $600-700K house comfortably.

That doesn’t buy you anything someone making $300,000 with two kids would want to live in here.

We make that amount and live in a $400K 1000 square foot house. It's not about where you want, it's what you can afford at the time of purchase. Time to grow up.

Congratulations, I guess, that you don’t feel bitter that someone making your salary can only afford 1,000 sq ft. A lot of us realize it’s like this because corporations, rich people, foreigners, and foreign countries are buying land and houses for profit and pricing out Americans who earn their paychecks here. It’s frustrating and wrong.

Anonymous wrote:Here are some great options OP (all of which need no work):

https://www.redfin.com/VA/Alexandria/5902-Piedmont-Dr-22310/home/9753542?from_mobile_app=true

https://www.redfin.com/VA/Alexandria/6012-Mayfair-Ln-22310/home/9753406?from_mobile_app=true

https://www.redfin.com/VA/Alexandria/7205-Wickford-Dr-22315/home/9786991?from_mobile_app=true

I would seriously question the quality of the work in houses 1 and 3. House 1 appears to have some sort of weird converted garage addition. House 2 needs a ton of work. Most glaring is the roof. The house is livable, but to say it needs no work is not accurate. House 2 is a dump.

House 3 is on a weird pipe stem/shared driveway it appears.

The schools for house 1 and 2 are middling at best.

Anonymous wrote:We all are. The inflated prices create absurd closing costs, taxes, etc.. Out of control. Who are the people buying 2.5 -4 million dollar homes in NWDC?? 1.9 million in Bethesda?? Wowsa.

People who’ve been in the market for more than 10 years and lots of foreign money.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

What do you consider a tear down?

A house that requires more than 100k of rehab work after purchase or cannot be rehabbed without being torn down to the foundation.

The realtor we looked at houses with showed us two of these. Then he told us to ask our parents for another 200k so he could put us into a house for 1.1.

We have credit scores over 800.

A big part of the problem is this expectation that everybody needs to spend $100k plus on a sparkling new kitchen and bathrooms, and let's redo the floors while we're at it.

Some of you need to learn to live with dated kitchen cabinets for a few or even 10 years. Splurge on a new stove if you want.

This. Buying a home (or in OP's case upgrading to a SFH) in a HCOL area requires either A) a lot of money or B) sacrifices. Renting a SFH was a poor decision, OP. You should have stayed in the condo and lived on a strict budget until you could afford to buy a SFH. If you're in your 40's now and you have kids, then you had years to figure this out and save.

I lived very cheaply with roommates and saved for a home. DH did the same. We each bought before we met. We lived in my home with dated everything and fixed it up as time and money allowed. We each bought a home, then got married, then had kids. You can switch the order of marriage and buying a home, but it's really hard to save for a SFH when you're paying for childcare and don't have a high HHI.

If you're really serious about buying a SFH, then you need to cut your costs to save more. Spending a lot on renting a SFH when your HHI is $300K and you already have kids makes it hard to save for a SFH.

I am paying 2.5k/month in rent and have no debt. Did I cut expenses enough for you?

I'll try dog food for the family, too. That might help us save enough.

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent with your HHI when also trying to save to buy a house. Many of us explained to you that you chose not to scrimp and save earlier. That's how many of us in your situation afforded to buy the SFH. You want what other people have without making the sacrifices they made.

But the bigger point is that you can't afford what you want now because you can't go back in time and make different decisions. So if you want to buy a house now, then you either cut expenses (including rent) to save more, increase income, or reassess your criteria.

OP is being defensive but lol at the idea that 2500 is a lot to spend on rent for a family.

But ultimately OP - I agree with the PPs who say you need to shift expectations. We have your numbers and purchased a house within the past year in Silver Spring just outside the beltway (so, near the Forest Glen metro). Decent schools, nice communities, and well within your price range. I think you’re more interested in NOVA but just wanted to share a MoCo option in case you’re actually looking for solutions here (or in case it’s helpful for someone else).

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent, period. OP is forced into paying this now because she didn't take the opportunity to save more before kids.

That's not realistic. We have a 3 BR, 1300 sf TH out in the suburbs. Townhouses in our neighborhood with decent schools rent out for $2800. This is not a close in suburb and this is not in the priciest area (it's southern Howard County). The townhouses sell for about $300-450K and the single family homes (which would rent out for $3200+) cost about $600-800K. It's an older neighborhood (my unit was built in 1987) but good school district.

We have a mix of owners and renters. I know because of HOA disclosures. We have a rule in the HOA that 60% of the neighborhood needs to be owner-occupied; we have about 70% currently.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

What do you consider a tear down?

A house that requires more than 100k of rehab work after purchase or cannot be rehabbed without being torn down to the foundation.

The realtor we looked at houses with showed us two of these. Then he told us to ask our parents for another 200k so he could put us into a house for 1.1.

We have credit scores over 800.

A big part of the problem is this expectation that everybody needs to spend $100k plus on a sparkling new kitchen and bathrooms, and let's redo the floors while we're at it.

Some of you need to learn to live with dated kitchen cabinets for a few or even 10 years. Splurge on a new stove if you want.

This. Buying a home (or in OP's case upgrading to a SFH) in a HCOL area requires either A) a lot of money or B) sacrifices. Renting a SFH was a poor decision, OP. You should have stayed in the condo and lived on a strict budget until you could afford to buy a SFH. If you're in your 40's now and you have kids, then you had years to figure this out and save.

I lived very cheaply with roommates and saved for a home. DH did the same. We each bought before we met. We lived in my home with dated everything and fixed it up as time and money allowed. We each bought a home, then got married, then had kids. You can switch the order of marriage and buying a home, but it's really hard to save for a SFH when you're paying for childcare and don't have a high HHI.

If you're really serious about buying a SFH, then you need to cut your costs to save more. Spending a lot on renting a SFH when your HHI is $300K and you already have kids makes it hard to save for a SFH.

I am paying 2.5k/month in rent and have no debt. Did I cut expenses enough for you?

I'll try dog food for the family, too. That might help us save enough.

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent with your HHI when also trying to save to buy a house. Many of us explained to you that you chose not to scrimp and save earlier. That's how many of us in your situation afforded to buy the SFH. You want what other people have without making the sacrifices they made.

But the bigger point is that you can't afford what you want now because you can't go back in time and make different decisions. So if you want to buy a house now, then you either cut expenses (including rent) to save more, increase income, or reassess your criteria.

OP is being defensive but lol at the idea that 2500 is a lot to spend on rent for a family.

But ultimately OP - I agree with the PPs who say you need to shift expectations. We have your numbers and purchased a house within the past year in Silver Spring just outside the beltway (so, near the Forest Glen metro). Decent schools, nice communities, and well within your price range. I think you’re more interested in NOVA but just wanted to share a MoCo option in case you’re actually looking for solutions here (or in case it’s helpful for someone else).

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent, period. OP is forced into paying this now because she didn't take the opportunity to save more before kids.

This is the dumbest take in this entire thread. Have you looked at the actual cost of home ownership? In this area? If OP has her family in a nice apartment, in a nice location, with good schools and a decent commute for only $2500 a month she would be FAR better off to just stay there and invest the difference in her rent vs mortgage + property tax + insurance + repair/maintenance costs, etc. Then she can eventually buy the house of her dreams (but maybe in a different location). Or she can retire early and travel the world! Or whatever!

+1, we rent out our old 2 bed/2 bath condo in a downtown neighborhood near metro and lots of entertainment/services for $3200/mo

When we were house hunting, we considered renting for a bit until we found what we wanted in the school pyramid we wanted, but most of the rentals we looked at that were 3+ bedrooms (we have kids) were renting for a minimum of $3500, most were $4k+. And this wasn't for a nice townhouse on the Hill or something (that would go for $5k+). We're talking 3 bedroom townhouses in Silver Spring in-bound for a decent elementary. We did eventually find a couple places that could work for right around $3k, but then we found a house to buy instead.

It's a mystery to me because I'm guessing the people who own those houses have dirt-cheap mortgages, if they have mortgages at all. You can find the best deals in apartment buildings, especially if a bit older, but you're still talking about paying a minimum of $2200 for a 2 bedroom and likely more, unless you're okay with really bad schools or living right on the highway or something.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

What do you consider a tear down?

A house that requires more than 100k of rehab work after purchase or cannot be rehabbed without being torn down to the foundation.

The realtor we looked at houses with showed us two of these. Then he told us to ask our parents for another 200k so he could put us into a house for 1.1.

We have credit scores over 800.

A big part of the problem is this expectation that everybody needs to spend $100k plus on a sparkling new kitchen and bathrooms, and let's redo the floors while we're at it.

Some of you need to learn to live with dated kitchen cabinets for a few or even 10 years. Splurge on a new stove if you want.

This. Buying a home (or in OP's case upgrading to a SFH) in a HCOL area requires either A) a lot of money or B) sacrifices. Renting a SFH was a poor decision, OP. You should have stayed in the condo and lived on a strict budget until you could afford to buy a SFH. If you're in your 40's now and you have kids, then you had years to figure this out and save.

I lived very cheaply with roommates and saved for a home. DH did the same. We each bought before we met. We lived in my home with dated everything and fixed it up as time and money allowed. We each bought a home, then got married, then had kids. You can switch the order of marriage and buying a home, but it's really hard to save for a SFH when you're paying for childcare and don't have a high HHI.

If you're really serious about buying a SFH, then you need to cut your costs to save more. Spending a lot on renting a SFH when your HHI is $300K and you already have kids makes it hard to save for a SFH.

I am paying 2.5k/month in rent and have no debt. Did I cut expenses enough for you?

I'll try dog food for the family, too. That might help us save enough.

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent with your HHI when also trying to save to buy a house. Many of us explained to you that you chose not to scrimp and save earlier. That's how many of us in your situation afforded to buy the SFH. You want what other people have without making the sacrifices they made.

But the bigger point is that you can't afford what you want now because you can't go back in time and make different decisions. So if you want to buy a house now, then you either cut expenses (including rent) to save more, increase income, or reassess your criteria.

OP is being defensive but lol at the idea that 2500 is a lot to spend on rent for a family.

But ultimately OP - I agree with the PPs who say you need to shift expectations. We have your numbers and purchased a house within the past year in Silver Spring just outside the beltway (so, near the Forest Glen metro). Decent schools, nice communities, and well within your price range. I think you’re more interested in NOVA but just wanted to share a MoCo option in case you’re actually looking for solutions here (or in case it’s helpful for someone else).

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent, period. OP is forced into paying this now because she didn't take the opportunity to save more before kids.

This is the dumbest take in this entire thread. Have you looked at the actual cost of home ownership? In this area? If OP has her family in a nice apartment, in a nice location, with good schools and a decent commute for only $2500 a month she would be FAR better off to just stay there and invest the difference in her rent vs mortgage + property tax + insurance + repair/maintenance costs, etc. Then she can eventually buy the house of her dreams (but maybe in a different location). Or she can retire early and travel the world! Or whatever!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

What do you consider a tear down?

A house that requires more than 100k of rehab work after purchase or cannot be rehabbed without being torn down to the foundation.

The realtor we looked at houses with showed us two of these. Then he told us to ask our parents for another 200k so he could put us into a house for 1.1.

We have credit scores over 800.

A big part of the problem is this expectation that everybody needs to spend $100k plus on a sparkling new kitchen and bathrooms, and let's redo the floors while we're at it.

Some of you need to learn to live with dated kitchen cabinets for a few or even 10 years. Splurge on a new stove if you want.

This. Buying a home (or in OP's case upgrading to a SFH) in a HCOL area requires either A) a lot of money or B) sacrifices. Renting a SFH was a poor decision, OP. You should have stayed in the condo and lived on a strict budget until you could afford to buy a SFH. If you're in your 40's now and you have kids, then you had years to figure this out and save.

I lived very cheaply with roommates and saved for a home. DH did the same. We each bought before we met. We lived in my home with dated everything and fixed it up as time and money allowed. We each bought a home, then got married, then had kids. You can switch the order of marriage and buying a home, but it's really hard to save for a SFH when you're paying for childcare and don't have a high HHI.

If you're really serious about buying a SFH, then you need to cut your costs to save more. Spending a lot on renting a SFH when your HHI is $300K and you already have kids makes it hard to save for a SFH.

I am paying 2.5k/month in rent and have no debt. Did I cut expenses enough for you?

I'll try dog food for the family, too. That might help us save enough.

Why the hell would you be so eager to throw money away on some overpriced house when you are happy with your schools in a nice apartment paying ONLY 2.5K? That’s a steal!

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Anonymous wrote:To the poster who suggested some places in NOVA like Burke, thank you. That's more like what we are looking for. We are planning a trial commute during morning/evening rush before we bother an agent.

Where do you commute to exactly? I missed that part

I commute to close in NOVA two days a week, wfh for 3. DH commutes to DC.

I mentioned pimmit hills before. Why aren’t you looking there???

Most of Pimmit Hills is now $1-2M
https://www.redfin.com/city/25346/VA/Pimmit-Hills

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Anonymous wrote:I’m not OP, but her preferences are what they are. All these snide posts about just wanting HGTV type house are tiresome. Some people are just not the “sweat equity” type. Neither DH nor I are handy so anything that needed immediate “sweat equity” was a no go. Our starter house was one that we thought oh we will do things over time, guess what, with the addition of kids and those expenses it never happened. Our second house needed to be turnkey. We did move further out (although we aren’t city people and were fine with that) to get everything on our must have list. People’s preferences are personal, and just because someone values things that you don’t doesn’t make them invalid.

The point is that you don't need to update a house to live in it. It is ok to have an outdated kitchen and bathrooms. It is ok to let some minor repairs go. Etc. There is a third option beyond sweat equity and professional remodel, and that is . . . do nothing, which is the cheapest and easiest option. But not if your ego is wrapped up in the look of your house.

I don’t know that it necessarily would be an ego thing, but the idea of dropping 4-5k a month on a mortgage for a house whose kitchen and bathrooms I hate would drive me crazy. Compromises are absolutely necessary, but what compromises someone finds palatable will vary wildly depending on the person. OP needs to decide what compromises are tolerable for her, whether that is the commute, the size of the house, the aesthetics of the house, the school pyramid, etc.

Part of it is having a problem solving mentality, and thinking expansively. If you get a very narrow idea in your head of what your house is supposed to look like and be, then you will find that a lot of houses are unacceptable because you "hate" how they look.

Something that helps me when house hunting is thinking about my mom, who is never satisfied with anything and will look at any house and say "so are you going to renovate the kitchen? the island is so weird" or "when are you going to get rid of that wallpaper in the powder room? it's so dated!" She's built multiple homes from scratch and has ultimately found fault with all of them, despite them being entirely her choices.

Thinking about her makes me realize the value in being very expansive in what I want in a home. I could live in something modern and stark with a dated 70s kitchen -- just replace the appliances and embrace the retro vibes. Lots of busy wallpaper it will take a million years to scrape off and fix? Maximalism is in, go read some Architectural Digest articles on the subject and imagine a rambling house in the British countryside. 90s build with dated fixtures and a lack of charm? Think of it as a blank slate and imagine how much your kids will enjoy that open floor plan. And on and on.

I look at listings and try to shape my family into that house in my mind, instead of trying to find the house that will fit the shape of my family. Treat the house as a new adventure, instead of trophy. It will have quirks and ultimately some might be annoying, but many might wind up becoming the stuff of family lore and treasured childhood memories. I have a childhood friend whose family referred to this giant, ugly stone fireplace in their den as "the monstrosity." As in "where's my sweater?" -- "have you checked the monstrosity?" Or "let's do our annual holiday photo in our jammies in front of the monstrosity!" It became a family joke and ultimately when they moved out of that house, everyone cried about leaving that hideous fireplace behind.

It's a mindset, OP. You can afford a great house. But let the house come to you, don't go looking for the perfect thing, you'll never find it. You're in good shape financially and it's going to work out. Try to have a sense of humor and optimism about it. Go find some monstrosity that you and your children will weep over leaving one day.

Anonymous wrote:If OP would just frame her problem as "I can't afford to buy the houses I like most in the DMV, even with a sizable down payment and what feels like a pretty high HHI, and that is disappointing to me," I think she'd find a lot of support in the thread.

The problem is that OP is framing this like she feels entitled to a nicer house than what many of us with the same or worse finances have recently bought in the area. Like it feels like OP is affronted by the idea that she might have to compromise in any way, shape or form, as we did, because she thought that when she had this much money and this much income, she wouldn't have to compromise anymore.

Everyone compromises. The things they compromise on change, but everyone compromises. I try to be grateful I even have the choices I have.

+1 OP wants to hop straight from renting to a SFH that most people in the DMV could never afford. $300K HHI with a $300K down payment just isn't a lot here these days.

Anonymous wrote:I was in the same boat, had to definitely recalibrate what I wanted versus what I could afford. We are thrilled about the town we landed in and are living in a house we are updating very slowly. It stinks, there’s no two ways about it. At least we are always super happy when we upgrade one thing! Everyone that comes over gets to look at our fancy 200amp electrical box, hah.
One thing my realtor told me was like, “if you had a $1m budget, you’d wish you could afford $1.25. If you could afford $1.25, you’d wish you could afford $1.5.” She told us to not look at anything we couldn’t afford, so it would be easier to fall in love with what we could afford. Ultimately, our town and non negotiable other things (no double yellow line, 0.25 acre lot) meant we comprised a bit on the house, but we gave ourselves a deadline to recalibrate and start looking into other towns if it didn’t work for us.

You and your realtor sound very wise.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

What do you consider a tear down?

A house that requires more than 100k of rehab work after purchase or cannot be rehabbed without being torn down to the foundation.

The realtor we looked at houses with showed us two of these. Then he told us to ask our parents for another 200k so he could put us into a house for 1.1.

We have credit scores over 800.

A big part of the problem is this expectation that everybody needs to spend $100k plus on a sparkling new kitchen and bathrooms, and let's redo the floors while we're at it.

Some of you need to learn to live with dated kitchen cabinets for a few or even 10 years. Splurge on a new stove if you want.

This. Buying a home (or in OP's case upgrading to a SFH) in a HCOL area requires either A) a lot of money or B) sacrifices. Renting a SFH was a poor decision, OP. You should have stayed in the condo and lived on a strict budget until you could afford to buy a SFH. If you're in your 40's now and you have kids, then you had years to figure this out and save.

I lived very cheaply with roommates and saved for a home. DH did the same. We each bought before we met. We lived in my home with dated everything and fixed it up as time and money allowed. We each bought a home, then got married, then had kids. You can switch the order of marriage and buying a home, but it's really hard to save for a SFH when you're paying for childcare and don't have a high HHI.

If you're really serious about buying a SFH, then you need to cut your costs to save more. Spending a lot on renting a SFH when your HHI is $300K and you already have kids makes it hard to save for a SFH.

I am paying 2.5k/month in rent and have no debt. Did I cut expenses enough for you?

I'll try dog food for the family, too. That might help us save enough.

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent with your HHI when also trying to save to buy a house. Many of us explained to you that you chose not to scrimp and save earlier. That's how many of us in your situation afforded to buy the SFH. You want what other people have without making the sacrifices they made.

But the bigger point is that you can't afford what you want now because you can't go back in time and make different decisions. So if you want to buy a house now, then you either cut expenses (including rent) to save more, increase income, or reassess your criteria.

OP is being defensive but lol at the idea that 2500 is a lot to spend on rent for a family.

But ultimately OP - I agree with the PPs who say you need to shift expectations. We have your numbers and purchased a house within the past year in Silver Spring just outside the beltway (so, near the Forest Glen metro). Decent schools, nice communities, and well within your price range. I think you’re more interested in NOVA but just wanted to share a MoCo option in case you’re actually looking for solutions here (or in case it’s helpful for someone else).

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent, period. OP is forced into paying this now because she didn't take the opportunity to save more before kids.