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Anonymous wrote:No. No regrets that I spent time with my kids and they have done well in life. And I am a frugal person, living in a nice house in an average neighborhood and my kids went to public schools and state flagships - so I do not need a whole lot of money. I have a happy marriage and my DH makes a decent amount of money upwards of $400K.

I have enough for our needs and some wants too.

BUT if I won the lottery, I would fly everywhere in business and first class. I hate travelling in cattle class, especially flying for 20 hours in cattle class. I am too old for this crap!!!

Your post seemed sane until you mentioned that your husband makes over 400 goddam thousand dollars a year and you can’t figure out how to fly business or first class.

DCUM posters, a serious question: what in the actual hell do you guys do with all your money?

Np
At 3x that income we would not consider first or business class either. I also dream of having enough to buy those tickets. Maybe we should cut back on housekeeping but that wouldn't make a dent in paying so much for flights. We travel far and often but those seats would equal a vehicle for our family of four. We've over splurged on hotels though.

+1

At 400K we would rarely pay for a business class. It is simply not in the budget at that income level, unless you live in a VLCOL area and your house is only $150K

Unless you are completely mismanaging your money (which I suspect many of you are), or you are flying overseas with the entire family on a monthly basis, there is absolutely zero reason why you cannot afford business class tickets for your family vacation at an income of 400K, and it should not even make you bat an eye.

I would love to see some of your budgets because many of you clearly need a lot of help.

That’s about our income:

$260,000 after tax

- $40,000 per year home payment

- $35,000 private school tuition for one of our three children who was struggling in public school (which happens to be the reason I took a high paying but very stressful job I’d rather not have…. Not to fly first class lol)

- $35,000 contributions to retirement savings

- $30,000 contributions to college savings

- $25,000 groceries, household necessities, and eating out

- $6,000 utilities including cell phone, internet, and streaming services

- $12,000 health insurance, premiums including for mental health which one kids requires, medications, braces

- $2000 clothes for whole family and sports equipment for kids

- $10,000 work parking, private school shuttle, ez pass, and gas

- $5,000+ total fees for seasonal sports for each of three kids (it’s about $200+ for rec where we live, so if they do fall soccer and winter basketball and spring baseball and summer swim it adds up to about $2500 per year) plus at least an equal amount for other activities, such as weekly swim lessons, weekly gymnastics, or private pitching lessons for my older son who is a baseball pitcher. Those things tend to run over $100 per month.

- $3500 music lessons plus instrument rentals for two kids

- $6000 life and car insurance premiums

- $1000 pool membership

- $8000 house cleaning devices plus grocery delivery fees

- $2000 misc items such as haircuts, school supplies and supply donations to the classrooms, dry cleaning, and weekend outings like parking at the zoo or going ice skating

- $4000 car and home repair such as annual tree trimming because we have a lot of big old trees, frequent repairs on a 15-year old car we have, and other unexpected things that always come up

- $4,000 gifts for each other for birthdays and holidays, for family, for kids’ friends birthdays, for weddings or similar, etc, hosting holiday dinners, other holiday expenses like a Christmas tree

- $10,000 vacations such as a week at the beach and flying to visit our parents

- $10,000 full time summer camp (for childcare) for three kids


Of course there are areas where we could cut back such as kids’ sports or eating more frugally, but those are expenses we’ve prioritized for the good of our health and quality of life. But really it’s just super expensive to raise kids in this region. I used to work less and we spent less on house cleaning and summer camps, as well as commuting costs, but I make a good deal more than the difference, and we need those things to make it feel sustainable. We live in an old moderately sized house, drive old cars, don’t do travel sports, don’t travel overseas, don’t eat out much or buy high end clothes/furniture, etc.

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Anonymous wrote:No. No regrets that I spent time with my kids and they have done well in life. And I am a frugal person, living in a nice house in an average neighborhood and my kids went to public schools and state flagships - so I do not need a whole lot of money. I have a happy marriage and my DH makes a decent amount of money upwards of $400K.

I have enough for our needs and some wants too.

BUT if I won the lottery, I would fly everywhere in business and first class. I hate travelling in cattle class, especially flying for 20 hours in cattle class. I am too old for this crap!!!

Your post seemed sane until you mentioned that your husband makes over 400 goddam thousand dollars a year and you can’t figure out how to fly business or first class.

DCUM posters, a serious question: what in the actual hell do you guys do with all your money?

Np
At 3x that income we would not consider first or business class either. I also dream of having enough to buy those tickets. Maybe we should cut back on housekeeping but that wouldn't make a dent in paying so much for flights. We travel far and often but those seats would equal a vehicle for our family of four. We've over splurged on hotels though.

+1

At 400K we would rarely pay for a business class. It is simply not in the budget at that income level, unless you live in a VLCOL area and your house is only $150K

Unless you are completely mismanaging your money (which I suspect many of you are), or you are flying overseas with the entire family on a monthly basis, there is absolutely zero reason why you cannot afford business class tickets for your family vacation at an income of 400K, and it should not even make you bat an eye.

I would love to see some of your budgets because many of you clearly need a lot of help.

So if you are making $400K, then you are taking home $260K (after fed and state taxes and FICA). Add in $20K for each spouse for 401K and another $6.5K each for IRA---that's $53K reduction. If you have 2 Kids, then take away $25K/year for college savings (at a minimum)--this might pay for in-state for 4 years for each kid.

So now I have only paid taxes, saved for retirement and college (the bare minimum) and I have $182K remaining for everything else.



My monthly mortgage on a million dollar home will be $6K+ for mortgage, insurance, prop taxes ($72K). Health insurance plus medical co-pays/fees per month will easily be $1K, and the kids are not even old enough for braces.

Add in vehicle insurance, costs for cars, etc...

Then I've got food, clothing, etc.

Oh and perhaps we need to fly to see family once per year in the USA.

So sure, I technically could afford to pay business class for a trip to Europe for my family of 4, but that would be $4K/person vs $1.2K/person. So $16K vs 4.8K. I will be flying economy and using the difference to help pay for the rest of the vacation.

What I am getting out of your post is that you have approximately $100,000 after paying taxes, retirement savings, college savings, mortgage, and health insurance. So let’s say you have about 8K per month to pay for food, clothing, transportation, and entertainment. That is an absolute f***ton of money.

So yes, you can “technically” and OBVIOUSLY afford to spring for business class tickets on your yearly European vacation if that is something that matters to you (and I am not sure how many rich posters on here were whining about “cattle class” or if you were one of them). That you choose not to is just that, a CHOICE.

(TLDR: your post only confirms you would be an idiot to pretend you can’t afford business class on 400K income. Stop crying poor, it’s ridiculous.)

Not "crying Poor". Financially smart people who earn only 400K do not spend it on business class trip to Europe. They save that money for a 2nd vacation.

+1. Only a moron would buy business class at that income level. You reach a point where of course any one specific thing is "affordable" but that doesn't mean you should do it. We have almost $3M saved in our taxable and retirement accounts. So technically we could "afford" to go pay cash for a $3M house instead. But that would be really effing stupid.

This is the key. We make about $500k each year, and while yes, we could afford a $200k car, or to fly business class on each trip, or pay $2m for a house, we don't do those things (and could definitely not do all of them).

The PP has picked a very strange hill to take a stand on. I doubt you could find more than a handful of people who make $400k that spring for business or first class for their flights. I suspect this is just a way for the PP to express disdain for other's budgeting ability, and she's now reluctant to admit that she was wrong.

I am not wrong, as all of the responses have (reluctantly) admitted that you can absolutely afford it on that income, which was the original point of contention. Whether or not it would be something you think it a good use of your disposable income is irrelevant. The fact is it is easily affordable on a 400K income.

I am sure you all spend your money on lots of things that I personally would find “moronic”. For example, having a nanny or housekeeper while also being a SAHM seems like a foolish waste of money (as I believe OP is considering), but if you can afford it and choose to spend your excess income that way, have at it.

Only someone who lives paycheck to paycheck thinks like this.

That's what I'm thinking. Or, they like to splurge on first at a fraction of the income and feel attacked (which is fine but not the common sentiment). Or they take flights with cheap firsts. The destinations I usually look at are 900+ for economy and 9,000+ for first.

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Anonymous wrote:No. No regrets that I spent time with my kids and they have done well in life. And I am a frugal person, living in a nice house in an average neighborhood and my kids went to public schools and state flagships - so I do not need a whole lot of money. I have a happy marriage and my DH makes a decent amount of money upwards of $400K.

I have enough for our needs and some wants too.

BUT if I won the lottery, I would fly everywhere in business and first class. I hate travelling in cattle class, especially flying for 20 hours in cattle class. I am too old for this crap!!!

Your post seemed sane until you mentioned that your husband makes over 400 goddam thousand dollars a year and you can’t figure out how to fly business or first class.

DCUM posters, a serious question: what in the actual hell do you guys do with all your money?

Np
At 3x that income we would not consider first or business class either. I also dream of having enough to buy those tickets. Maybe we should cut back on housekeeping but that wouldn't make a dent in paying so much for flights. We travel far and often but those seats would equal a vehicle for our family of four. We've over splurged on hotels though.

+1

At 400K we would rarely pay for a business class. It is simply not in the budget at that income level, unless you live in a VLCOL area and your house is only $150K

Unless you are completely mismanaging your money (which I suspect many of you are), or you are flying overseas with the entire family on a monthly basis, there is absolutely zero reason why you cannot afford business class tickets for your family vacation at an income of 400K, and it should not even make you bat an eye.

I would love to see some of your budgets because many of you clearly need a lot of help.

So if you are making $400K, then you are taking home $260K (after fed and state taxes and FICA). Add in $20K for each spouse for 401K and another $6.5K each for IRA---that's $53K reduction. If you have 2 Kids, then take away $25K/year for college savings (at a minimum)--this might pay for in-state for 4 years for each kid.

So now I have only paid taxes, saved for retirement and college (the bare minimum) and I have $182K remaining for everything else.



My monthly mortgage on a million dollar home will be $6K+ for mortgage, insurance, prop taxes ($72K). Health insurance plus medical co-pays/fees per month will easily be $1K, and the kids are not even old enough for braces.

Add in vehicle insurance, costs for cars, etc...

Then I've got food, clothing, etc.

Oh and perhaps we need to fly to see family once per year in the USA.

So sure, I technically could afford to pay business class for a trip to Europe for my family of 4, but that would be $4K/person vs $1.2K/person. So $16K vs 4.8K. I will be flying economy and using the difference to help pay for the rest of the vacation.

What I am getting out of your post is that you have approximately $100,000 after paying taxes, retirement savings, college savings, mortgage, and health insurance. So let’s say you have about 8K per month to pay for food, clothing, transportation, and entertainment. That is an absolute f***ton of money.

So yes, you can “technically” and OBVIOUSLY afford to spring for business class tickets on your yearly European vacation if that is something that matters to you (and I am not sure how many rich posters on here were whining about “cattle class” or if you were one of them). That you choose not to is just that, a CHOICE.

(TLDR: your post only confirms you would be an idiot to pretend you can’t afford business class on 400K income. Stop crying poor, it’s ridiculous.)

Not "crying Poor". Financially smart people who earn only 400K do not spend it on business class trip to Europe. They save that money for a 2nd vacation.

+1. Only a moron would buy business class at that income level. You reach a point where of course any one specific thing is "affordable" but that doesn't mean you should do it. We have almost $3M saved in our taxable and retirement accounts. So technically we could "afford" to go pay cash for a $3M house instead. But that would be really effing stupid.

This is the key. We make about $500k each year, and while yes, we could afford a $200k car, or to fly business class on each trip, or pay $2m for a house, we don't do those things (and could definitely not do all of them).

The PP has picked a very strange hill to take a stand on. I doubt you could find more than a handful of people who make $400k that spring for business or first class for their flights. I suspect this is just a way for the PP to express disdain for other's budgeting ability, and she's now reluctant to admit that she was wrong.

I am not wrong, as all of the responses have (reluctantly) admitted that you can absolutely afford it on that income, which was the original point of contention. Whether or not it would be something you think it a good use of your disposable income is irrelevant. The fact is it is easily affordable on a 400K income.

I am sure you all spend your money on lots of things that I personally would find “moronic”. For example, having a nanny or housekeeper while also being a SAHM seems like a foolish waste of money (as I believe OP is considering), but if you can afford it and choose to spend your excess income that way, have at it.

Spending one month's take home pay on a six hour flight is not "easily affordable".

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Anonymous wrote:No. No regrets that I spent time with my kids and they have done well in life. And I am a frugal person, living in a nice house in an average neighborhood and my kids went to public schools and state flagships - so I do not need a whole lot of money. I have a happy marriage and my DH makes a decent amount of money upwards of $400K.

I have enough for our needs and some wants too.

BUT if I won the lottery, I would fly everywhere in business and first class. I hate travelling in cattle class, especially flying for 20 hours in cattle class. I am too old for this crap!!!

Your post seemed sane until you mentioned that your husband makes over 400 goddam thousand dollars a year and you can’t figure out how to fly business or first class.

DCUM posters, a serious question: what in the actual hell do you guys do with all your money?

Np
At 3x that income we would not consider first or business class either. I also dream of having enough to buy those tickets. Maybe we should cut back on housekeeping but that wouldn't make a dent in paying so much for flights. We travel far and often but those seats would equal a vehicle for our family of four. We've over splurged on hotels though.

+1

At 400K we would rarely pay for a business class. It is simply not in the budget at that income level, unless you live in a VLCOL area and your house is only $150K

Unless you are completely mismanaging your money (which I suspect many of you are), or you are flying overseas with the entire family on a monthly basis, there is absolutely zero reason why you cannot afford business class tickets for your family vacation at an income of 400K, and it should not even make you bat an eye.

I would love to see some of your budgets because many of you clearly need a lot of help.

So if you are making $400K, then you are taking home $260K (after fed and state taxes and FICA). Add in $20K for each spouse for 401K and another $6.5K each for IRA---that's $53K reduction. If you have 2 Kids, then take away $25K/year for college savings (at a minimum)--this might pay for in-state for 4 years for each kid.

So now I have only paid taxes, saved for retirement and college (the bare minimum) and I have $182K remaining for everything else.



My monthly mortgage on a million dollar home will be $6K+ for mortgage, insurance, prop taxes ($72K). Health insurance plus medical co-pays/fees per month will easily be $1K, and the kids are not even old enough for braces.

Add in vehicle insurance, costs for cars, etc...

Then I've got food, clothing, etc.

Oh and perhaps we need to fly to see family once per year in the USA.

So sure, I technically could afford to pay business class for a trip to Europe for my family of 4, but that would be $4K/person vs $1.2K/person. So $16K vs 4.8K. I will be flying economy and using the difference to help pay for the rest of the vacation.

What I am getting out of your post is that you have approximately $100,000 after paying taxes, retirement savings, college savings, mortgage, and health insurance. So let’s say you have about 8K per month to pay for food, clothing, transportation, and entertainment. That is an absolute f***ton of money.

So yes, you can “technically” and OBVIOUSLY afford to spring for business class tickets on your yearly European vacation if that is something that matters to you (and I am not sure how many rich posters on here were whining about “cattle class” or if you were one of them). That you choose not to is just that, a CHOICE.

(TLDR: your post only confirms you would be an idiot to pretend you can’t afford business class on 400K income. Stop crying poor, it’s ridiculous.)

Not "crying Poor". Financially smart people who earn only 400K do not spend it on business class trip to Europe. They save that money for a 2nd vacation.

+1. Only a moron would buy business class at that income level. You reach a point where of course any one specific thing is "affordable" but that doesn't mean you should do it. We have almost $3M saved in our taxable and retirement accounts. So technically we could "afford" to go pay cash for a $3M house instead. But that would be really effing stupid.

This is the key. We make about $500k each year, and while yes, we could afford a $200k car, or to fly business class on each trip, or pay $2m for a house, we don't do those things (and could definitely not do all of them).

The PP has picked a very strange hill to take a stand on. I doubt you could find more than a handful of people who make $400k that spring for business or first class for their flights. I suspect this is just a way for the PP to express disdain for other's budgeting ability, and she's now reluctant to admit that she was wrong.

I am not wrong, as all of the responses have (reluctantly) admitted that you can absolutely afford it on that income, which was the original point of contention. Whether or not it would be something you think it a good use of your disposable income is irrelevant. The fact is it is easily affordable on a 400K income.

I am sure you all spend your money on lots of things that I personally would find “moronic”. For example, having a nanny or housekeeper while also being a SAHM seems like a foolish waste of money (as I believe OP is considering), but if you can afford it and choose to spend your excess income that way, have at it.

Only someone who lives paycheck to paycheck thinks like this.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. No regrets that I spent time with my kids and they have done well in life. And I am a frugal person, living in a nice house in an average neighborhood and my kids went to public schools and state flagships - so I do not need a whole lot of money. I have a happy marriage and my DH makes a decent amount of money upwards of $400K.

I have enough for our needs and some wants too.

BUT if I won the lottery, I would fly everywhere in business and first class. I hate travelling in cattle class, especially flying for 20 hours in cattle class. I am too old for this crap!!!

Your post seemed sane until you mentioned that your husband makes over 400 goddam thousand dollars a year and you can’t figure out how to fly business or first class.

DCUM posters, a serious question: what in the actual hell do you guys do with all your money?

Np
At 3x that income we would not consider first or business class either. I also dream of having enough to buy those tickets. Maybe we should cut back on housekeeping but that wouldn't make a dent in paying so much for flights. We travel far and often but those seats would equal a vehicle for our family of four. We've over splurged on hotels though.

+1

At 400K we would rarely pay for a business class. It is simply not in the budget at that income level, unless you live in a VLCOL area and your house is only $150K

Unless you are completely mismanaging your money (which I suspect many of you are), or you are flying overseas with the entire family on a monthly basis, there is absolutely zero reason why you cannot afford business class tickets for your family vacation at an income of 400K, and it should not even make you bat an eye.

I would love to see some of your budgets because many of you clearly need a lot of help.

So if you are making $400K, then you are taking home $260K (after fed and state taxes and FICA). Add in $20K for each spouse for 401K and another $6.5K each for IRA---that's $53K reduction. If you have 2 Kids, then take away $25K/year for college savings (at a minimum)--this might pay for in-state for 4 years for each kid.

So now I have only paid taxes, saved for retirement and college (the bare minimum) and I have $182K remaining for everything else.



My monthly mortgage on a million dollar home will be $6K+ for mortgage, insurance, prop taxes ($72K). Health insurance plus medical co-pays/fees per month will easily be $1K, and the kids are not even old enough for braces.

Add in vehicle insurance, costs for cars, etc...

Then I've got food, clothing, etc.

Oh and perhaps we need to fly to see family once per year in the USA.

So sure, I technically could afford to pay business class for a trip to Europe for my family of 4, but that would be $4K/person vs $1.2K/person. So $16K vs 4.8K. I will be flying economy and using the difference to help pay for the rest of the vacation.

What I am getting out of your post is that you have approximately $100,000 after paying taxes, retirement savings, college savings, mortgage, and health insurance. So let’s say you have about 8K per month to pay for food, clothing, transportation, and entertainment. That is an absolute f***ton of money.

So yes, you can “technically” and OBVIOUSLY afford to spring for business class tickets on your yearly European vacation if that is something that matters to you (and I am not sure how many rich posters on here were whining about “cattle class” or if you were one of them). That you choose not to is just that, a CHOICE.

(TLDR: your post only confirms you would be an idiot to pretend you can’t afford business class on 400K income. Stop crying poor, it’s ridiculous.)

Not "crying Poor". Financially smart people who earn only 400K do not spend it on business class trip to Europe. They save that money for a 2nd vacation.

+1. Only a moron would buy business class at that income level. You reach a point where of course any one specific thing is "affordable" but that doesn't mean you should do it. We have almost $3M saved in our taxable and retirement accounts. So technically we could "afford" to go pay cash for a $3M house instead. But that would be really effing stupid.

This is the key. We make about $500k each year, and while yes, we could afford a $200k car, or to fly business class on each trip, or pay $2m for a house, we don't do those things (and could definitely not do all of them).

The PP has picked a very strange hill to take a stand on. I doubt you could find more than a handful of people who make $400k that spring for business or first class for their flights. I suspect this is just a way for the PP to express disdain for other's budgeting ability, and she's now reluctant to admit that she was wrong.

I am not wrong, as all of the responses have (reluctantly) admitted that you can absolutely afford it on that income, which was the original point of contention. Whether or not it would be something you think it a good use of your disposable income is irrelevant. The fact is it is easily affordable on a 400K income.

I am sure you all spend your money on lots of things that I personally would find “moronic”. For example, having a nanny or housekeeper while also being a SAHM seems like a foolish waste of money (as I believe OP is considering), but if you can afford it and choose to spend your excess income that way, have at it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP and I haven't read the replies, but I'm giving you mine.

DH and I met in law school and we both started out in Big Law, then I got the consulting job of my dreams so I did that. We had no family nearby. When we decided to have kids, it became clear that something had to give or we'd have to nanny out our kids. I decided to SAH because my job involved too much travel, and even if I went part-time it wouldn't work.

In our situation, DH could really concentrate on work, and because of that, he became a much bigger deal than he otherwise would. It's the same old annoying story, that man who is wildly successful but supported by a woman (or women) who is running everything non-work-related in his life. This model works but yes, there is a bit of invisibility in the job. (my job).

We had some rough times (miscarriage, SN kid, cancer, DH depression at one point, parent illnesses and deaths, mentally unstable teen), but while I felt I was too rusty to re-enter my field, I never felt vulnerable financially partly because of the way we invested our money, but mostly because my DH is the kind of person that would not leave me or us out financially even if the marriage did not work out. He's not mean, hostile, or vindictive, so a bad situation would not trigger that response in him. So my point here is, since it is a financial risk for you, you have to be honest with yourself about your DH's character.

Also, I'll say something that really helped our marriage early on when we had a toddler and an infant. I stopped giving him "the second shift" --basically the honey-do list when he came home. That took a lot of pressure off him, and I think subconciously, made him want to come home, and he found ways to come home earlier. Basically, I just decided to create an environment where he'd want to come home. At work, he's got pressure and the work is never-ending, but also, he had a bunch of people fawning all over him, and both those things contribute to workaholism. While that can be intoxicating, it's still not as good as when your loved ones are excited to see you walk through the door.

We just celebrated our 25th anniversary and were at a hotel and the young staff kept asking us what the secret was. We hadn't reflected on that, so we discussed it at dinner. We decided that it was that we:
1) both considered ourselves lucky to have the other, and
2) both tried hard to be worthy of the other.
That mentality definitely requires adoption by both indivdiuals; it won't work one-sided. But if your marriage has that, then that's a good indicator that you can take the SAH leap of faith.

Good luck, OP!

I think this is a great response and would add one thing. The woman (and it’s nearly always the woman) really needs to be ok that the husband got it “have it all”. Professional success and accolades, intellectual stimulation, respect of professional peers and that network, and also the family and kids and all the rewards that brings later in life to have raised kids well in a healthy and happy home environment. Including adult kids who really respect the professional parent and seek that person out for that type of advice exclusively. If you can do this with zero resentment (very possible), it can work out well.

This is a very good point that doesn’t get made very often.

Also, I doesn’t have to be all or nothing — your situation can evolve over time. I went part time when my DC was a baby/toddler. When I was ready to go back full time, I got a series of fairly high profile promotions, and then eventually I retired so I could be home when DC was in high school. Now it’s all done, I’m really glad that DC got to see me go to work every day. He would sometimes go in with me to the office and see what I was doing and that I had the respect of important people that I worked with. DC is now very interested in the same line of work and seeks out and values my opinion and advice. I don’t think it would be the same if he had just heard stories about how Mom used to have a cool job. I know quite a few other women in DC who have had similar paths. There are many ways to keep your connection to work while finding more time to spend with your family.

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Anonymous wrote:I would go part time. Best of both worlds. Your life becomes more sane yet you stay relevant.

Hard to give more specific advice without knowing your finances.

Can't give up the nanny if she goes part time. Either go full sah, or work ft. Don't split the difference.

OP doesn’t want to give up her nanny. The short answer is at any income level you are leaving money on the table if one parent leaves the workforce. The money left on the table matters less at very high income levels like OPs husband. If she’d rather be home focusing on her kids and family shes at a very comfortable income to do it and still save adequately. It’s a pretty out of touch post, but I suppose the question is relative to lifestyle.

She doesn't want to "focus on her kids." That's what the nanny is for, she wants to "focus on household things." She wants to be a lady who lunches.

Eh. Caring for multiple young kids at once is hard. If I was that well off I would also be sahm and likely have a part time nanny in the afternoon so I could do things individually with each kid (like after school activities, school pickups, doctor appointments, bath time, academic enrichment.)

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would go part time. Best of both worlds. Your life becomes more sane yet you stay relevant.

Hard to give more specific advice without knowing your finances.

Can't give up the nanny if she goes part time. Either go full sah, or work ft. Don't split the difference.

OP doesn’t want to give up her nanny. The short answer is at any income level you are leaving money on the table if one parent leaves the workforce. The money left on the table matters less at very high income levels like OPs husband. If she’d rather be home focusing on her kids and family shes at a very comfortable income to do it and still save adequately. It’s a pretty out of touch post, but I suppose the question is relative to lifestyle.

She doesn't want to "focus on her kids." That's what the nanny is for, she wants to "focus on household things." She wants to be a lady who lunches.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would go part time. Best of both worlds. Your life becomes more sane yet you stay relevant.

Hard to give more specific advice without knowing your finances.

Can't give up the nanny if she goes part time. Either go full sah, or work ft. Don't split the difference.

OP doesn’t want to give up her nanny. The short answer is at any income level you are leaving money on the table if one parent leaves the workforce. The money left on the table matters less at very high income levels like OPs husband. If she’d rather be home focusing on her kids and family shes at a very comfortable income to do it and still save adequately. It’s a pretty out of touch post, but I suppose the question is relative to lifestyle.

Anonymous wrote:I would go part time. Best of both worlds. Your life becomes more sane yet you stay relevant.

Hard to give more specific advice without knowing your finances.

Can't give up the nanny if she goes part time. Either go full sah, or work ft. Don't split the difference.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. No regrets that I spent time with my kids and they have done well in life. And I am a frugal person, living in a nice house in an average neighborhood and my kids went to public schools and state flagships - so I do not need a whole lot of money. I have a happy marriage and my DH makes a decent amount of money upwards of $400K.

I have enough for our needs and some wants too.

BUT if I won the lottery, I would fly everywhere in business and first class. I hate travelling in cattle class, especially flying for 20 hours in cattle class. I am too old for this crap!!!

Your post seemed sane until you mentioned that your husband makes over 400 goddam thousand dollars a year and you can’t figure out how to fly business or first class.

DCUM posters, a serious question: what in the actual hell do you guys do with all your money?

Np
At 3x that income we would not consider first or business class either. I also dream of having enough to buy those tickets. Maybe we should cut back on housekeeping but that wouldn't make a dent in paying so much for flights. We travel far and often but those seats would equal a vehicle for our family of four. We've over splurged on hotels though.

+1

At 400K we would rarely pay for a business class. It is simply not in the budget at that income level, unless you live in a VLCOL area and your house is only $150K

Unless you are completely mismanaging your money (which I suspect many of you are), or you are flying overseas with the entire family on a monthly basis, there is absolutely zero reason why you cannot afford business class tickets for your family vacation at an income of 400K, and it should not even make you bat an eye.

I would love to see some of your budgets because many of you clearly need a lot of help.

So if you are making $400K, then you are taking home $260K (after fed and state taxes and FICA). Add in $20K for each spouse for 401K and another $6.5K each for IRA---that's $53K reduction. If you have 2 Kids, then take away $25K/year for college savings (at a minimum)--this might pay for in-state for 4 years for each kid.

So now I have only paid taxes, saved for retirement and college (the bare minimum) and I have $182K remaining for everything else.



My monthly mortgage on a million dollar home will be $6K+ for mortgage, insurance, prop taxes ($72K). Health insurance plus medical co-pays/fees per month will easily be $1K, and the kids are not even old enough for braces.

Add in vehicle insurance, costs for cars, etc...

Then I've got food, clothing, etc.

Oh and perhaps we need to fly to see family once per year in the USA.

So sure, I technically could afford to pay business class for a trip to Europe for my family of 4, but that would be $4K/person vs $1.2K/person. So $16K vs 4.8K. I will be flying economy and using the difference to help pay for the rest of the vacation.

What I am getting out of your post is that you have approximately $100,000 after paying taxes, retirement savings, college savings, mortgage, and health insurance. So let’s say you have about 8K per month to pay for food, clothing, transportation, and entertainment. That is an absolute f***ton of money.

So yes, you can “technically” and OBVIOUSLY afford to spring for business class tickets on your yearly European vacation if that is something that matters to you (and I am not sure how many rich posters on here were whining about “cattle class” or if you were one of them). That you choose not to is just that, a CHOICE.

(TLDR: your post only confirms you would be an idiot to pretend you can’t afford business class on 400K income. Stop crying poor, it’s ridiculous.)

Not "crying Poor". Financially smart people who earn only 400K do not spend it on business class trip to Europe. They save that money for a 2nd vacation.

+1. Only a moron would buy business class at that income level. You reach a point where of course any one specific thing is "affordable" but that doesn't mean you should do it. We have almost $3M saved in our taxable and retirement accounts. So technically we could "afford" to go pay cash for a $3M house instead. But that would be really effing stupid.

This

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. No regrets that I spent time with my kids and they have done well in life. And I am a frugal person, living in a nice house in an average neighborhood and my kids went to public schools and state flagships - so I do not need a whole lot of money. I have a happy marriage and my DH makes a decent amount of money upwards of $400K.

I have enough for our needs and some wants too.

BUT if I won the lottery, I would fly everywhere in business and first class. I hate travelling in cattle class, especially flying for 20 hours in cattle class. I am too old for this crap!!!

Your post seemed sane until you mentioned that your husband makes over 400 goddam thousand dollars a year and you can’t figure out how to fly business or first class.

DCUM posters, a serious question: what in the actual hell do you guys do with all your money?

Np
At 3x that income we would not consider first or business class either. I also dream of having enough to buy those tickets. Maybe we should cut back on housekeeping but that wouldn't make a dent in paying so much for flights. We travel far and often but those seats would equal a vehicle for our family of four. We've over splurged on hotels though.

+1

At 400K we would rarely pay for a business class. It is simply not in the budget at that income level, unless you live in a VLCOL area and your house is only $150K

Unless you are completely mismanaging your money (which I suspect many of you are), or you are flying overseas with the entire family on a monthly basis, there is absolutely zero reason why you cannot afford business class tickets for your family vacation at an income of 400K, and it should not even make you bat an eye.

I would love to see some of your budgets because many of you clearly need a lot of help.

So if you are making $400K, then you are taking home $260K (after fed and state taxes and FICA). Add in $20K for each spouse for 401K and another $6.5K each for IRA---that's $53K reduction. If you have 2 Kids, then take away $25K/year for college savings (at a minimum)--this might pay for in-state for 4 years for each kid.

So now I have only paid taxes, saved for retirement and college (the bare minimum) and I have $182K remaining for everything else.



My monthly mortgage on a million dollar home will be $6K+ for mortgage, insurance, prop taxes ($72K). Health insurance plus medical co-pays/fees per month will easily be $1K, and the kids are not even old enough for braces.

Add in vehicle insurance, costs for cars, etc...

Then I've got food, clothing, etc.

Oh and perhaps we need to fly to see family once per year in the USA.

So sure, I technically could afford to pay business class for a trip to Europe for my family of 4, but that would be $4K/person vs $1.2K/person. So $16K vs 4.8K. I will be flying economy and using the difference to help pay for the rest of the vacation.

What I am getting out of your post is that you have approximately $100,000 after paying taxes, retirement savings, college savings, mortgage, and health insurance. So let’s say you have about 8K per month to pay for food, clothing, transportation, and entertainment. That is an absolute f***ton of money.

So yes, you can “technically” and OBVIOUSLY afford to spring for business class tickets on your yearly European vacation if that is something that matters to you (and I am not sure how many rich posters on here were whining about “cattle class” or if you were one of them). That you choose not to is just that, a CHOICE.

(TLDR: your post only confirms you would be an idiot to pretend you can’t afford business class on 400K income. Stop crying poor, it’s ridiculous.)

Not "crying Poor". Financially smart people who earn only 400K do not spend it on business class trip to Europe. They save that money for a 2nd vacation.

+1. Only a moron would buy business class at that income level. You reach a point where of course any one specific thing is "affordable" but that doesn't mean you should do it. We have almost $3M saved in our taxable and retirement accounts. So technically we could "afford" to go pay cash for a $3M house instead. But that would be really effing stupid.

This is the key. We make about $500k each year, and while yes, we could afford a $200k car, or to fly business class on each trip, or pay $2m for a house, we don't do those things (and could definitely not do all of them).

The PP has picked a very strange hill to take a stand on. I doubt you could find more than a handful of people who make $400k that spring for business or first class for their flights. I suspect this is just a way for the PP to express disdain for other's budgeting ability, and she's now reluctant to admit that she was wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. No regrets that I spent time with my kids and they have done well in life. And I am a frugal person, living in a nice house in an average neighborhood and my kids went to public schools and state flagships - so I do not need a whole lot of money. I have a happy marriage and my DH makes a decent amount of money upwards of $400K.

I have enough for our needs and some wants too.

BUT if I won the lottery, I would fly everywhere in business and first class. I hate travelling in cattle class, especially flying for 20 hours in cattle class. I am too old for this crap!!!

Your post seemed sane until you mentioned that your husband makes over 400 goddam thousand dollars a year and you can’t figure out how to fly business or first class.

DCUM posters, a serious question: what in the actual hell do you guys do with all your money?

Np
At 3x that income we would not consider first or business class either. I also dream of having enough to buy those tickets. Maybe we should cut back on housekeeping but that wouldn't make a dent in paying so much for flights. We travel far and often but those seats would equal a vehicle for our family of four. We've over splurged on hotels though.

+1

At 400K we would rarely pay for a business class. It is simply not in the budget at that income level, unless you live in a VLCOL area and your house is only $150K

Unless you are completely mismanaging your money (which I suspect many of you are), or you are flying overseas with the entire family on a monthly basis, there is absolutely zero reason why you cannot afford business class tickets for your family vacation at an income of 400K, and it should not even make you bat an eye.

I would love to see some of your budgets because many of you clearly need a lot of help.

So if you are making $400K, then you are taking home $260K (after fed and state taxes and FICA). Add in $20K for each spouse for 401K and another $6.5K each for IRA---that's $53K reduction. If you have 2 Kids, then take away $25K/year for college savings (at a minimum)--this might pay for in-state for 4 years for each kid.

So now I have only paid taxes, saved for retirement and college (the bare minimum) and I have $182K remaining for everything else.



My monthly mortgage on a million dollar home will be $6K+ for mortgage, insurance, prop taxes ($72K). Health insurance plus medical co-pays/fees per month will easily be $1K, and the kids are not even old enough for braces.

Add in vehicle insurance, costs for cars, etc...

Then I've got food, clothing, etc.

Oh and perhaps we need to fly to see family once per year in the USA.

So sure, I technically could afford to pay business class for a trip to Europe for my family of 4, but that would be $4K/person vs $1.2K/person. So $16K vs 4.8K. I will be flying economy and using the difference to help pay for the rest of the vacation.

What I am getting out of your post is that you have approximately $100,000 after paying taxes, retirement savings, college savings, mortgage, and health insurance. So let’s say you have about 8K per month to pay for food, clothing, transportation, and entertainment. That is an absolute f***ton of money.

So yes, you can “technically” and OBVIOUSLY afford to spring for business class tickets on your yearly European vacation if that is something that matters to you (and I am not sure how many rich posters on here were whining about “cattle class” or if you were one of them). That you choose not to is just that, a CHOICE.

(TLDR: your post only confirms you would be an idiot to pretend you can’t afford business class on 400K income. Stop crying poor, it’s ridiculous.)

Not "crying Poor". Financially smart people who earn only 400K do not spend it on business class trip to Europe. They save that money for a 2nd vacation.

+1. Only a moron would buy business class at that income level. You reach a point where of course any one specific thing is "affordable" but that doesn't mean you should do it. We have almost $3M saved in our taxable and retirement accounts. So technically we could "afford" to go pay cash for a $3M house instead. But that would be really effing stupid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. No regrets that I spent time with my kids and they have done well in life. And I am a frugal person, living in a nice house in an average neighborhood and my kids went to public schools and state flagships - so I do not need a whole lot of money. I have a happy marriage and my DH makes a decent amount of money upwards of $400K.

I have enough for our needs and some wants too.

BUT if I won the lottery, I would fly everywhere in business and first class. I hate travelling in cattle class, especially flying for 20 hours in cattle class. I am too old for this crap!!!

Your post seemed sane until you mentioned that your husband makes over 400 goddam thousand dollars a year and you can’t figure out how to fly business or first class.

DCUM posters, a serious question: what in the actual hell do you guys do with all your money?

Np
At 3x that income we would not consider first or business class either. I also dream of having enough to buy those tickets. Maybe we should cut back on housekeeping but that wouldn't make a dent in paying so much for flights. We travel far and often but those seats would equal a vehicle for our family of four. We've over splurged on hotels though.

+1

At 400K we would rarely pay for a business class. It is simply not in the budget at that income level, unless you live in a VLCOL area and your house is only $150K

Unless you are completely mismanaging your money (which I suspect many of you are), or you are flying overseas with the entire family on a monthly basis, there is absolutely zero reason why you cannot afford business class tickets for your family vacation at an income of 400K, and it should not even make you bat an eye.

I would love to see some of your budgets because many of you clearly need a lot of help.

So if you are making $400K, then you are taking home $260K (after fed and state taxes and FICA). Add in $20K for each spouse for 401K and another $6.5K each for IRA---that's $53K reduction. If you have 2 Kids, then take away $25K/year for college savings (at a minimum)--this might pay for in-state for 4 years for each kid.

So now I have only paid taxes, saved for retirement and college (the bare minimum) and I have $182K remaining for everything else.



My monthly mortgage on a million dollar home will be $6K+ for mortgage, insurance, prop taxes ($72K). Health insurance plus medical co-pays/fees per month will easily be $1K, and the kids are not even old enough for braces.

Add in vehicle insurance, costs for cars, etc...

Then I've got food, clothing, etc.

Oh and perhaps we need to fly to see family once per year in the USA.

So sure, I technically could afford to pay business class for a trip to Europe for my family of 4, but that would be $4K/person vs $1.2K/person. So $16K vs 4.8K. I will be flying economy and using the difference to help pay for the rest of the vacation.

What I am getting out of your post is that you have approximately $100,000 after paying taxes, retirement savings, college savings, mortgage, and health insurance. So let’s say you have about 8K per month to pay for food, clothing, transportation, and entertainment. That is an absolute f***ton of money.

So yes, you can “technically” and OBVIOUSLY afford to spring for business class tickets on your yearly European vacation if that is something that matters to you (and I am not sure how many rich posters on here were whining about “cattle class” or if you were one of them). That you choose not to is just that, a CHOICE.

(TLDR: your post only confirms you would be an idiot to pretend you can’t afford business class on 400K income. Stop crying poor, it’s ridiculous.)

Not "crying Poor". Financially smart people who earn only 400K do not spend it on business class trip to Europe. They save that money for a 2nd vacation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. No regrets that I spent time with my kids and they have done well in life. And I am a frugal person, living in a nice house in an average neighborhood and my kids went to public schools and state flagships - so I do not need a whole lot of money. I have a happy marriage and my DH makes a decent amount of money upwards of $400K.

I have enough for our needs and some wants too.

BUT if I won the lottery, I would fly everywhere in business and first class. I hate travelling in cattle class, especially flying for 20 hours in cattle class. I am too old for this crap!!!

Your post seemed sane until you mentioned that your husband makes over 400 goddam thousand dollars a year and you can’t figure out how to fly business or first class.

DCUM posters, a serious question: what in the actual hell do you guys do with all your money?

Np
At 3x that income we would not consider first or business class either. I also dream of having enough to buy those tickets. Maybe we should cut back on housekeeping but that wouldn't make a dent in paying so much for flights. We travel far and often but those seats would equal a vehicle for our family of four. We've over splurged on hotels though.

+1

At 400K we would rarely pay for a business class. It is simply not in the budget at that income level, unless you live in a VLCOL area and your house is only $150K

Unless you are completely mismanaging your money (which I suspect many of you are), or you are flying overseas with the entire family on a monthly basis, there is absolutely zero reason why you cannot afford business class tickets for your family vacation at an income of 400K, and it should not even make you bat an eye.

I would love to see some of your budgets because many of you clearly need a lot of help.

So if you are making $400K, then you are taking home $260K (after fed and state taxes and FICA). Add in $20K for each spouse for 401K and another $6.5K each for IRA---that's $53K reduction. If you have 2 Kids, then take away $25K/year for college savings (at a minimum)--this might pay for in-state for 4 years for each kid.

So now I have only paid taxes, saved for retirement and college (the bare minimum) and I have $182K remaining for everything else.



My monthly mortgage on a million dollar home will be $6K+ for mortgage, insurance, prop taxes ($72K). Health insurance plus medical co-pays/fees per month will easily be $1K, and the kids are not even old enough for braces.

Add in vehicle insurance, costs for cars, etc...

Then I've got food, clothing, etc.

Oh and perhaps we need to fly to see family once per year in the USA.

So sure, I technically could afford to pay business class for a trip to Europe for my family of 4, but that would be $4K/person vs $1.2K/person. So $16K vs 4.8K. I will be flying economy and using the difference to help pay for the rest of the vacation.

What I am getting out of your post is that you have approximately $100,000 after paying taxes, retirement savings, college savings, mortgage, and health insurance. So let’s say you have about 8K per month to pay for food, clothing, transportation, and entertainment. That is an absolute f***ton of money.

So yes, you can “technically” and OBVIOUSLY afford to spring for business class tickets on your yearly European vacation if that is something that matters to you (and I am not sure how many rich posters on here were whining about “cattle class” or if you were one of them). That you choose not to is just that, a CHOICE.

(TLDR: your post only confirms you would be an idiot to pretend you can’t afford business class on 400K income. Stop crying poor, it’s ridiculous.)

If you have 8k a month for all of those things, would you spend 15-20k on business class seats?

If you earned 100k a year would you spend 5% of your income on plane tickets for one vacation? My guess is no.

I don’t think PP is saying she’s too poor to afford business class. What she’s saying is if you spend 15-20k on business class seats it’s going to have to come from somewhere else.

+100 PP are you seriously suggesting someone spend two months take home salary on a few hours worth of airplane travel? I think you're the one who's bad with budgeting.

No, what I am saying outright is that if business class is important to you (as claimed by the anti “cattle class” posters) then you can ABSOLUTELY AFFORD to pay for it on this level of income. It has nothing whatsoever to do with what you or I do or would choose to do, the fact of the matter is that it is something that YOU CAN EASILY AFFORD if you choose to do so.

And it would not be two months take home salary… it would be two months of discretionary income after the majority of basic needs and savings goals have been met.

As for this:
“ If you earned 100k a year would you spend 5% of your income on plane tickets for one vacation? My guess is no.”
If an average middle class family ever wants to take a vacation to Europe, then this is about right… but they of course would need to fly coach to make it work. Not the case with the 400K earners.

It would be one month of take home pay. That’s still a lot.